Hope to meet you again in the next life

Yesterday I tidied up my room and unintentionally dug out my college diary

I spent an afternoon thinking about it carefully.

It records more of what happened with you, the past is vivid in my memory

I saw a passage a few days ago: "There are about 2 people in this world that you two will like each other at the first sight, but many of them have never met in your life." The acquaintance with you may be the opposite of fate. My favor is just a little too short

You said that there are not so many coincidences in life. What seems to be a coincidence is actually destined

Ling, it's been a year since you left, are you still used to living there?

In the third year of high school, I changed to an English teacher named Jiang, a middle-aged man who made me realize that I have a homosexual man

In the last class in the afternoon, I was still sitting in my seat in a daze. I didn’t even know when Lao Jiang came to my side. He tapped on the desk and said to me: "Follow me to the office after school", feeling uneasy After getting out of class, he followed Lao Jiang into the office.Lao Jiang made a cup of tea and sat on the stool, took out a booklet and said to me: "Why is your English always at the bottom?"

I picked up the grade book and flipped through it. Lao Jiang was still chattering, "I plan to use my spare time to make up lessons for you. What do you think? If you can, start tomorrow."

"Of course it's okay. It's boring to go home anyway. Why did the teacher call me here alone? Isn't there a few scores lower than mine?" I pointed to those names and said

"I don't want to care about them. I always sleep in class every time, and my total grades are always at the bottom," Lao Jiang said a little angrily.Later I found out that it was because I looked like his son that he took special care of me, but his son was a top student since he was a child, but I was just the opposite

After class the next day, I followed Lao Jiang into the staff residential building. The whole building maintained the style of the 80s and [-]s. The inside of the house was tidied up by Lao Jiang. The photo of Zhang Laojiang when he was young, not long after sitting down, Lao Jiang immediately got into the topic, starting from the most basic subject-verb-object structure, although the listening was a bit cloudy, but an hour passed quickly

"Teacher, why didn't you see Auntie come back? It's almost time for lunch", asked a little puzzled

"My home is in the north of the city. It's a bit far away from here. It's a bit rushed every time I go back and forth. I usually go back after dinner here. My son and daughter are all working in other places," Lao Jiang replied.

During this period of time, Lao Jiang would occasionally tell some interesting stories about his youth. Unexpectedly, there was another side to the dull Lao Jiang in class, and it gradually developed a strange feeling for Lao Jiang in his heart. Electra

Half a year passed quickly. Although the English score exceeded the average score by ten points, the increase was not very large. It has been stagnant in that score range. Lao Jiang also stopped "sniffing" me and let me consolidate and review myself. .

Soon it was the college entrance examination, and the moment I saw the comprehensive essay paper, my mind went blank, and I couldn't remember a few knowledge points I had memorized.

After the scores came out, I was only ten points away from the school I wanted to go to, and I was really in a bad mood.On the day I applied for volunteering, I didn’t go to school. Instead, I asked the head teacher to fill in any school for me, as long as I majored in computer science. Because I was afraid of meeting Lao Jiang, I felt that I had failed his good intentions, and I felt very guilty.From that day on, I realized that my feelings for Lao Jiang were a little abnormal. I checked the Internet at night, and this situation was already within the scope of homosexuality. When I wanted to look back, I realized that I had fallen into it. Lao Jiang was always in my mind. figure

Sometimes when I think about it, homosexuality may not be born, it just encounters special things at different times, maybe in childhood, childhood, adolescence, or a little later, the thought of liking homosexuality is slowly ingrained

I spent the whole summer vacation learning about this. When I was bored, I read some fancy novels to pass the time. The first time I came into contact with homosexual novels was on the Tianya forum. After it was over, the whole person was not well, and tears flowed down his face involuntarily.

As school was approaching, I was packing my bags alone, but I was always concerned about someone. I struggled for a long time, and finally gave up on this decision.

On the day I left home, I felt a little relieved because I could finally escape from here.