father - home

Joseph's eyes darkened, he helped me up and sat down at the table. "Do you think I'm so stingy? I won't leave until the end of the vacation. There are still many things to do in the manor. Building a greenhouse, harvesting grapes, and I promised Zhao to work with him to restore the cement road to a stone road."

"That's a big project, don't you..."

Joseph looked at me, and I quickly shut up.

"Don't worry, I will go to the village to find some people, and I won't tire him."

"That's not what I meant...I hope you don't blame him."

Joseph fell silent.

I waited for a while, Joseph still had no voice, I had to go on. "I'm not talking about this vacation... No matter how angry you are, at me, or at my mother... I hope you don't leave, never... This is your home... Zhao is going to leave... ...Of course, if you don't want to see me again, I don't have to come back, it's easier for me to be outside than you."

After I finally finished talking, Joseph finally spoke. "Marty, does Zhao really love you?"

"what?"

"Marty, you are born with rights and advantages. It is difficult for others to reject you. Are you sure it was his will?"

I looked at Joseph in bewilderment.I dare not imagine that the honest and kind Joseph would say such a thing, and there is still some confusion in his heart.

"Isn't Zhao going to marry Yu?"

"It was imperative."

"No!" Joseph shook his head, "Even Zhao didn't show the joy and happiness of the groom-to-be, but Yu is no stranger to him."

"That's natural, Yu loves him, he feels guilty and contradictory."

"And compassion."

I looked up again in astonishment.

Joseph closed his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching in pain. "Thinking about it now, I finally understand his eyes and his mood. He likes jade, at least he once liked it. He is in pain because of the loss of his beloved girl, and he can only taste this pain alone, because This is his own choice. I understand, I will not blame him, he is as miserable as me... No, he is more miserable than me," Joseph smiled wryly, "not only can he not protect Yu, but also hurt her, in the end , he himself has nothing."

"Joseph!" I was shocked.

Freud seems to have said that behind a person losing his temper, he hides his unconscious desire to reveal himself to you.So is Joseph going to tell me something I've avoided talking about for years?

"Could it be...Joseph...do you like Verma?" I asked tentatively.

Horribly, Joseph nodded.

"Then why did you promise me?"

"Don't you know, Marty, it's very difficult for anyone to refuse you, and I couldn't refuse you, not to mention that you were so fragile and needed me so much at that time."

At that time... my heart began to tremble, my hands and feet were cold, and a terrible scene appeared before my eyes again... It was Joseph who helped me out of the shadows, and he used his love to warm and protect my fragile and lonely heart... Could it be that all of this was caused by Forced, wrong from the beginning?

"Don't you love me?" My world began to crumble.

"I love you, from the first moment I saw you, I fell in love with you, like a brother to a brother, like a father..."

I shook my head in horror.Don't!Say no more!

Joseph ignored it and continued on. "The first thing I remember in my life is hugging you. I clearly remember that afternoon... yeah, it's your birthday in a few days... That afternoon, everyone was busy, and I was in the kitchen with Verma Have a snack. I remember we had creamy swiss rolls. That is not very common, except for major holidays. It is not a major holiday, but a big event is going to happen at the manor—the lady is about to give birth. Verma asked me: You What do you think Madam will have? I replied without thinking: Master. No, I said it must be. Why must it be? I asked. Because I like it. Verma is five months older than me, and for a four-year-old child For me, five months older is much older, so Verma always speaks a little domineeringly to me. I didn't dare to refute her, but I decided in my heart that it must be a boy. Sure enough, Mr. Leininger came to report that Mrs. gave birth, It's the young master! Everyone rushed to the hall happily, but no one dared to go up the stairs, except me. I don't know where the courage came from. I followed Mr. Reininger and went up the stairs without a sound. Outside the bedroom door, the old lady was sitting on a chair, the master was pacing back and forth anxiously, and I was standing in the corner. After a while, you came out. The nurse carried you out, a pink ball. The master took you from the nurse. Pass you, and then give it to the old lady. I walked over trembling, stood in front of the old lady, and said: Can I hug you? Mr. Reininger was startled, I don’t know where I got out of, Wanting to pull me away, the old lady stopped him. The old lady smiled at me kindly: He is very small, you have to be careful. I nodded vigorously. I held you in my arms. From that moment on, I loved you Fuck you. Your little face is wrinkled, your eyes are closed, your eyelashes are long, golden and shiny, your hair is already thick and soft, like golden satin, your nose bridge is very straight, The mouth is very small, very cute. From then on, I fell in love with you, like a brother to a younger brother, like a father to a child."

"But that's not love! You should reject me!" I was dying in pain.

"I can't say no to you, Marty. I took you off my horse late that night, and you're almost unconscious. You're as pale and fragile as you are now. I can't say no to you."

It was a school makeup carnival at the beginning of the year.I was 14 at the time.I am precocious and aloof, and I disdain this kind of childish nonsense.But I was wrong, it was not a simple nonsense that time, let alone a child.Because they are afraid of the trouble of cleaning afterwards, most students will choose to put on a fake nose, wear a fake ear, draw a few mustaches, pretend to be a cat or a dog, or just put on a mask. I just put on a mask. Apollo's mask, but there are also students who paint a lot of oil paint on their faces, making them unrecognizable, and then put them on. If you don't know in advance, you can't tell who is who.

At the end of the party, the students were still very excited, fighting and making noise in the dormitory. I was a little annoyed, so I simply took a novel and ran to the bathroom.

I was so fascinated that I didn't pay attention to the movement outside until the compartment door was knocked open.Before I could utter a sound, my mouth was gagged and my eyes were covered. Before that, I saw several faces of clowns crowded together.They dragged me out of the cubicle, poured cold water on me, tied my hands and feet with ropes, wrapped me in a sheet, carried me away on their shoulders.

They threw me on the ground and ripped the sheets.The biting wind, the fragrance of the grass, and the pungent pine resin told me that it was probably in the pine forest behind the school.

Your uncle is a dead gay.You feel honored, don't you?Are you also like him?Do you want us to help you?Or let us help you and help you make sure, otherwise how would you know if you are right?

They tore off my clothes, pulled, pinched, and bit my body, and beat and kicked me if they were dishonest.At first I resisted, but gradually, the cold, the pain, the humiliation, the anger, I became more and more tired and weak, and I lost consciousness several times.I thought it would end here, but I didn't expect that after waking up, it was still dark, and there were still endless violations and insults.

Look, see?He's yeah lol, he's fucking gay.Look at him, how arrogant and noble he is usually, it turns out he is just pretending.Haha, enjoy it, do you want to do it again?another one!not enough?No amount is enough!It's your turn!bring it on!Don't be afraid!He is a scumbag!Bitch!Like his uncle, bloody gay!

Throughout the long, endless torture, I gradually felt that a hand, a body, and a breath were different from other people, different from a teenager like me.His voice should also be different from the voices of other teenagers. I have been trying to capture that voice in the dark, but no, he hasn't said a word from the beginning to the end, but I can smell a faint scent of cologne.

I woke up from the cold, cold all over.The ropes on my hands and feet were untied, and I groped to tear off the black cloth that blindfolded me.Fortunately, it was still dark, and the moonlight was enough for me to see my surroundings clearly.I struggled to turn over, bent my legs, hugged the tree trunk, slowly knelt up, and then stood up straight again. This action made me drip with cold sweat.I found the pajamas I was wearing, which had turned into strips, and the bed sheet on the floor, which was at least useful even though it was dirty, so I wrapped it around my body.I helped from tree to tree, walked out of the woods, and faced the strict school, I couldn't go back to the dormitory, at least for now.Fortunately, the stables are very close, on this side of the school.I groped into the stables and rode on Qing Zai, a pure black thoroughbred mare I brought from home.I want to go home, I want to see those soft, loving blue-gray eyes that once appeared in the dark.