father - home

"what?"

"You didn't have an orgasm yesterday."

"Oh!"

Yesterday, I was terrified and weak, and I held on so that I would not pass out prematurely. I had never been aroused at all, how could I have an orgasm.But I don't want to tell him.He noticed, and that alone was enough to move me. "Fool," I scratched his nose lightly. "I did, but it was too dark, you didn't see it."

Zhao gently turned his face away.He didn't believe it.

We lay naked on the cot, head to head, hands on each other's waists, legs entwined, and we couldn't tell who was who.Neither of us was in a rush to wash our bodies or pull a blanket over us because we were so tired, hot, and exhausted.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault, I didn't tell you, otherwise, we could be together yesterday..."

"You moaned yesterday," Zhao interrupted me, looking at the ceiling. "You moaned so loudly that there was even an echo. I almost reminded you to be quiet. But you didn't just now. Normally you never moan, you never moan during sex, you hardly ever make any sound."

I played with his earlobe and stopped at this moment, feeling both scared and happy.I always thought Zhao was as pure as a blank sheet of paper.Zhao is indeed pure, not a blank sheet of paper.He is a colorful, dazzling, warm and shocking picture scroll that you will never tire of seeing.

"Really? I didn't pay attention." Because of the initial traumatic experience, because of my identity, because of my personality, I never made any sound during sex.Yesterday was just an exception.

"Now that I think about it, your performance yesterday was clumsy and awkward. Tell me why. At first I was so rough, and you didn't say a word, but then... tell me why."

Zhao was asking me, but didn't look at me, still staring at the ceiling.I followed his gaze, and the spider was still there.Is it the original one, or has it been replaced?

I kiss his sweaty short hair.He didn't move. "Yesterday was your first time, baby, I can't let your first time leave any regrets."

"But you don't feel it. I hurt you, you're not excited, you're pretending..."

"I have a feeling, I have a feeling, baby, that feeling is in my heart, being held by you, being hugged by you, being loved by you, how can I not feel it?" I kissed his smooth forehead, his eyelids.

His eyes closed slowly.I kiss the mist off his eyelashes.

"I've always been worried, always afraid," I was worried that Joseph's tragedy would repeat itself on Zhao, but now I'm relieved, and I won't say this either. "I'm worried that I hurt you, that you don't understand, that you mistook gratitude for love...I'm a sinner, I've killed Joseph, I've hurt Verma, I've hurt Sophie, I can't hurt you anymore , killed Yu... baby, you didn't hurt me, you saved me... I haven't come to this hut for 13 years, even if I were asked to look for it, I might not be able to find it. But here I am, suffering from somewhere Following the guidance, I came. I thought it was God's punishment, Sophie was calling me, and it was time to end this sinful life. I kept thinking: If I never appeared..."

"Then I would have disappeared from this earth long ago."

"If I hadn't hinted at you..."

"Then I won't be able to experience such strong emotions."

"If I didn't go to the ward again that night..."

"Then I will wait every day until you show up."

"If I had found Yu sooner, Yu would have come earlier, when nothing happened...you could go home, relaxed, without worries..."

"But my heart will be unwilling." Zhao rolled on top of me, propped himself up on his elbow, and stroked my forehead with the other hand. "If I don't have a chance to confess to you, if I don't say 'love' to you, freedom becomes exile, my heart is like a kite with broken strings, life is like a walking dead, and love will have no destination. Do you want me to live like this for the rest of my life. Will you? Is this what you want? Your confession? Your redemption?" He lay down slowly on top of me, his head on the side of my neck.The sound rang in my ears, very soft but shocking.It was difficult for him to control his emotions, so he could only keep his voice to a minimum. "Why don't you listen to me? Why don't you remember what I said? You think about this and that, but you don't want to believe me. Why? Why do you torture yourself like this?"

"I listen to you, I believe in you, I am willing to hold on, I have nothing but you. But I don't know how to do it. I swore to help you get free and help you go home, if only I could, I Willing to do anything for you." I closed my eyes tightly and forced myself to swallow the tears back.

"Including proposing to Yu for me?"

"Including proposing for you. In order to get Yu to agree, and to let Yu relieve her worries, I have to... I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, Marty," Zhao kissed my eyes, which filled with tears. "I should have told you first."

"Did your mother force you?"

"Madame is right, I was naive. I thought I had a choice. Fortunately, Anders Schulz came, the secret police, and he reminded me. At that time, Yu came to the concentration camp, so I I acquiesce in the identity of my fiancée, and these are all recorded. If I don’t marry her, new doubts will arise, and someone will make use of it, and they will target you, target the manor, and help the Jews... I almost It hurts you a little bit. I'm so stupid, I don't understand anything."

"Why don't you wait for me to come back?"

"I am afraid, I dare not delay, I am afraid that if I delay, I will lose my courage again."

"But what should we do now? Yu refused, will she agree to you?"

"do not know."

"Does she hate you?"

Zhao rolled over and rested his head on my shoulder.I tightened my arms around his back, the bed was too small to keep him from falling.

"I'm sorry for her. At that time, I only thought of myself and us too much. Once I was free, I would be separated from you. I couldn't do anything to be sorry for Yu. But I didn't expect her feelings. For a girl , what does marriage, what does a husband mean, how much can I give her? How much does mere physical confinement mean? You know, Marty, when she rejected me, I was so relieved. It's not too strange ?"

"It's not surprising, because you love her too, and you don't want to hurt her."

"You didn't expect it, Yu asked me to come." When Zhao said this, his tone was quite proud.

"Jade?"

"Yes. I told her the real reason I proposed to her, without the details, of course, and that would be insulting. I told her that the decision was up to her. I knew it wasn't right, but I couldn't help it. I told her that I can't promise to love her, but I can promise that I will never do anything wrong to her during the validity period of our marriage."

"What did she say?" I lay there with a calm tone, listening to my own heartbeat.

"She said: You should be alone for a few days, Marty needs you now, don't do things that you might regret. These are her exact words."

"Yu said so?"

Zhao nodded, unable to restrain his excitement. "She also said the same words. I haven't agreed to your marriage proposal yet."

I let out a long sigh of relief.What an amazing woman, I said to myself, I should be happy to have her by Zhao's side.

"Yu is a good girl."

"Yes. I would love her without you."

"Your rivals in love will definitely be numerous."

"I hope so, I hope she can find a good person who really loves her and loves her."

"I'll be praying for that."

I use my arms to pull Zhao closer.He was half lying on top of me, otherwise he would fall off the bed.I kissed his black hair, his forehead. "I promise that I will never do anything wrong to her during the validity period of our marriage." This is our honeymoon, it is a great favor, thank the merciful God, thank the kind jade, thank the loyal Joseph, this is our The last, only time of love.I finally couldn't hold it back, and tears welled up in my eyes.Why?Who is wrong?Why should it be so painful?Why is no one happy?

It's so hard to live!Love is harder!Protecting love is even harder!