father - home

Mother and the Reiningers were going to church, and I happened to be driving them off.Along the way, many acquaintances who went to church greeted us and cast surprised and joyful eyes at the same time.Also, I don't go home very often, and even less often I go to church, and I think I'm going to disappoint them again this time.

I parked the car in the yard of the church, separated from my mother in full view of everyone, went out the gate, followed the path outside the wall, and walked around to the back of the church.The family cemetery is on the hillside behind the church.I have never brought Zhao here, and I never had a chance.I heard that Joseph brought him here once.Before getting married, he should have come here once.

The church was first funded and built by the Meissenbach family, and the Meissenbach family also borne most of the cost of each repair. The most recent one was repaired by the father after World War I. It is said that it was Grandpa’s last wish.Although the cemetery of the church belongs to the entire diocese, a large area is set up on a high place, surrounded by rose hedges, as the exclusive cemetery of the Meissenbach family.

The unique autumn morning fog has dissipated, and the moist air is left to permeate the surroundings. I looked up the slope, and in the morning light, I crossed those stone monuments, crosses, and rose hedges. Under the oak tree stands a tombstone of a man, a horse, and a piece of granite.

As soon as Chitu saw me, he ran down excitedly.Zhao did not tie it, nor did he hold its rein.It looked left and right around me, looked at the way I came, ran downhill and back, tilted its head and blinked at me with big eyes, it was asking: Where is the silver sword?

That day, I took away the silver sword in front of Chitu, and now facing its perplexed, puzzled, and disappointed eyes, I felt sad, and reached out to touch its neck, but it shook its head angrily, refusing to let me Touched, and then suddenly hit my big head, almost hitting me, I quickly dodged sideways.The red rabbit is a little irritable, it is not happy, it is not to blame, it must have hated me.

I picked up the red rabbit's rein, pulled it closer, grabbed the bridle with one hand, and stretched out with the other to scratch behind its ears, which is its favorite.It tilted its head and closed its eyes comfortably.I switched to the other side to scratch it, scratching with both hands, arching my big head into my arms.

I walked past the tomb of a Baron of Meissenbach.Chitu followed me, lowered his head quietly, and stopped in front of the tombstone of his great-grandfather, gnawing the grass beside the tombstone.

There was still dew on the dark green leaves of the oak tree, and his father's tombstone was as clean and shiny as if it had been washed with water. Zhao's shoulders and white shirt were completely soaked, and his short black hair was wet on his forehead.He stood under the oak tree and in front of the tombstone for a long time, motionless, gazing into the distance, like a marble statue.His face was as pale and perfect as a statue, and his figure was as straight and firm as a statue, and perhaps, as cold as a statue.

The organ sounded in the church, and the service began.

This was my first visit to the cemetery since my father died, and the reason was not to see him.No, that's not right, I did want to come, for my father, whom I miss very, very much after he stopped me just in time to give up my life.

I stood in front of my father's tombstone, staring at it.Because I came in a hurry, I didn't bring flowers, but there were already blue cornflowers, red carnations and white roses in front of my father's tombstone.Judging from the freshness of the flowers, they were not picked in one day. Zhao came here every day. No need to ask, he must have put these flowers.

A hand on my shoulder, as I expected, the temperature is not high, but very strong.

"Thank you!" I said in a low voice.

"You should have brought me here earlier, this is an excellent place." Zhao's voice was a little hoarse.He cleared his throat. "Joseph said he was coming to see the master, who was not there when your father died, and asked me if I would come with you. I said yes. You know, I really blame you, why didn't you bring me earlier. Such a beautiful view, Such a beautiful scenery, so peaceful, so serene. The voice of God echoed in the air; there were elves dancing around; in front of me was a beautiful and rich home; in the distance was my blessed place."

I feel bitterness, and that bitterness spreads in my mouth.

"It's not your fault. It has a completely different meaning to you than it does to me and Joseph. Your father must understand."

I raised my head and met Shang Zhao's eyes.It's still clear, beautiful, and affectionate, but it's a little different. What's more and what's missing?

"Sorry." I said.

Zhao shook his head, put his arms around my shoulders, and looked past his father's tombstone to the valley.

"Joseph said, this is the best place to overlook the Kaiser Manor and Lake Chiem. It is really good. The Kaiser Manor is my home in Germany. I am not very familiar with it. I want to see more. It is very peaceful and detached. The solemn atmosphere just makes me think. I haven't met your father, but he makes me feel very close. You have the same blue eyes as him, calm and aloof, but also passionate. I think he can Help me clear my mind and solve my worries."

"Have you solved it yet?"

"I'm too young. Maybe there are many things in life that don't have answers."

We stopped talking.Silence is so safe and enjoyable at this moment.I am willing to remain silent like this forever, without opening my mouth or speaking, because I don’t know what the next sentence or topic will be, because I have too many hidden reefs and traps I want to bypass.Can it be bypassed?I'm afraid, it's impossible.

"Marty."

"Ah."

"You married her."

Zhao's voice was very light and flat, and he couldn't hear any emotion. His eyes were still looking at the valley without any change, but I knew that his heart was surging, because at this moment, I was like this, and my heart was about to jump out of my throat. .Zhao knows!How did he know?This is not important anymore, what matters is how I answer.

"What did you say?"

"You married Mary."

good!very good!During this period of time, how many people have asked me this question, but when it comes to you, it is no longer a question, but an order?ask?persuasion?Anger, guilt, panic, irritability, all things are tangled together, I don't know which emotion is the most serious, they block my breath.

"You want me to marry her? Do you really think so? Or is it like this, we're even?...As long as you ask, I will..."

"No!" Zhao hurriedly shook his head, trembling slightly. "I'm not...but..."

"what happened?"

"We can't be too selfish. We can't just let women cover for us. It's not a sin to fall in love with us, and they shouldn't suffer because of it." Zhao didn't roar, but hiss was full of painful and suppressed hissing.

He closes his eyes.I know, what is more and what is missing in his eyes.Marriage may be really special and very strange. It is such a ceremony, and in just a short moment, people will undergo great changes.Maturity means more responsibilities and fetters.

"Actually, I've already mentioned it to her, but she refuses. She can't be Baroness von Meissenbach, and she knows that better than I do."

"But she is your woman now. She is divorced, and it will be very difficult to live alone."

"Don't worry, I will always take care of her, just like now."

"It can only be this way?"

"it's the only way."

"Will you forgive me if I tell you it's all my fault? Marty, I'm so young."

"What? You made her..."

"I didn't tell her to go to the concentration camp to find you, but I told her my concerns."

"you……"

"I didn't go to the opera that day."

"why?"

"I don't have ID."

"But they told me they wouldn't check ID."

"That's for the Germans."

"When booking the ticket, I said you are Chinese."

"That must be accompanied by you."

I froze, completely unexpected.If Zhao's identity card is really checked, it will be terrible. I almost killed him, and Qiu and Yu will be in trouble. "It's a good thing you didn't go, then you..."

"That opportunity is rare. We don't want to waste it. Qiu and Yu both wanted to go, so I was alone and had no place to stay, so I ran to find Mary."

"Did you... see?" I asked tentatively.

Zhao nodded. "On that occasion, if I came forward, things would be more complicated, but I didn't expect you to be so close..."

"Someone called the police, the ambulance came in time, and...you pushed Julian?"

"Yes, it's me." Zhao's voice was very soft, as if he had made a huge mistake.But it was me who made the mistake.If it wasn't for him, I might be dead already.I can't imagine how he passed that day.He knew everything, but he could only leave silently alone.These days, he hasn't said a word to me, hasn't complained, questioned, or called me to go home.At the moment of parting, he still has to endure my infidelity.Unfaithful!Unfaithful!For the first time, I felt deeply guilty about what happened with Mary.No matter what the reason, infidelity is unfaithfulness!

"sorry!"

"No! That's not important." Zhao replied immediately.

"You don't have to comfort me."

"I'm not saying that, you don't worry... I was happy, really happy... Finally it worked out, it all worked out... I want to thank Mary and her husband... At the time, I was just worried about you, you Just got out of the hospital." Zhao spoke quickly, but intermittently, as if he always said the last sentence and forgot the next sentence, and seemed to change his words temporarily, there were many things he wanted to say but he didn't want to say, or he felt that Needless to say.

"Zhao..." Whether he said it or not, I felt ashamed.

"For a long time, I accepted everything you gave me with peace of mind, your love, your life, I hardly thought about you..."

"no……"

"No, listen to me, Marty." Zhao finally slowed down.He squinted his eyes and looked at the valley, talking to me and talking to himself.I stopped trying to interrupt him. "I'm really too young, and I can't think of many things at all. It's not that I don't want to, but I don't understand. I used to think that Joseph was a good man, but he was too cowardly. He didn't know how to fight, he didn't fight, he was worthy Not on you. I was wrong, if I knew that accepting your love would bring you such great harm, I would rather... I am not regretting, I just... If my life can be used to exchange your life for peace, I would rather , because I love you so much... I'm scared, I'm really scared, I'm gone, but you're still here. Anders Schulz didn't just say it, and he won't let it go, today It's the silver sword, what is tomorrow? I understand now why Joseph left far away. Only by leaving you can we protect you, but we have gone too far... Marty, do you think I still care about it now Are you with Mary? No, I'm very happy, I'm just sorry for Mary... I went to ask Mary about the situation. She told me she was divorced and it was you who helped me. I told her that I was worried, and the battalion treats you and me There was a lot of discussion about it, but I never thought that she would go to the concentration camp to find you."

No wonder Mary first went to the battalion commander and complained, asking me to borrow a house for her because Julian was harassing her.I have always wondered that Mary is not that kind of person. It turned out that she wanted to make this incident known to everyone in order to protect me.I actually kept reassuring myself that she didn't love me.Their sin is just falling in love with someone they shouldn't love. Can we take it for granted?Do they have to suffer for this?tormented?Maybe I should really marry Mary and give her a title anyway, but does it matter to her?She doesn't need this!But I can't give what she wants!Zhao can't give what Yu wants!