father - home

Zhao is home, and I want to go home too, but where is home?Where there is a lover is home, therefore, I have nowhere to be home, no home to return to.

As in Hamburg, I left a contact address for the German branch of the Red Cross in Berlin, and told them to notify me as soon as they had news.Every few weeks, I will find a way to go to Berlin to visit Yu, and at the same time, I will go to the Red Cross branch to ask.Time passed day by day without any news.Yu didn't ask me about Zhao's situation again, and I didn't have the courage to lie anymore.As the month progressed, Yu's pregnancy reaction eased. When I was away, she could go to the Red Cross branch to inquire.She must have asked.We all believe that as long as Zhao can, he will find a way to report our safety, through the embassy, ​​or the Red Cross, or other channels.But no, half a year has passed, good or bad, no matter what, there is no news at all.

Every time I come and go to Berlin, when I wait for the train, I will go around to the freight platform, because I have never been blocked in this military uniform, and I look at platforms 2 and 3 from afar, which are sometimes crowded with people. With a yellow Star of David pinned to his chest and a notice in his hand, his face was full of confusion, fear, and hope.But that sunshine... sometimes the whole platform is empty.There are no more horses.The stables have been cleaned thoroughly, the fodder has been emptied, the saddles and rigging have been wiped clean and put away, the walls, the room, and the training ground are all empty, there is no neighing, no figure, even the smell of horse manure and fodder in the air. there is none left.On the couch in front of the window of the study room, there is no blanket that Zhao Chang covered, and there is no imprint on Zhao's body, and the body temperature left behind.I played the prelude of "Melody" on the piano, but I couldn't wait for the melodious music of the violin; I set up the Amati violin, and it was difficult to play the first note without hearing the guidance of the prelude.The manor is bleak and full of autumn, there are no galloping horses, young and hearty laughter, bright and brilliant rainbows, and warm and strong chests...

I'm always looking, waiting, but I can't wait, I can't find...hope...disappointment...despair...no, nowhere, not even in dreams.I dream every night, more and more frequently, more and more clearly, one by one familiar, strange, dead, alive, relatives, friends, enemies, one by one figure appears in the dream, but there is no Zhao, I My lover, what I love, what I want, but I can't even see him in my dream.That dream, that dream I had twice, God called me to save him, I hope it can reappear, but I'm afraid it will reappear.That dream never appeared again, did God think that I was no longer able, or Zhao was no longer needed?I am no longer capable of saving him, and Akira is no longer needed.But I need it!

I began to open the windows of the dormitory every morning to welcome the dawn sun and look for the familiar figure on the playground.It was snowing, the first snow in the winter of 1940, the same as last year, the rain mixed with snow seeds.I opened the window, out of sight, and ran out of the lab to the fence where I could see the entire playground.The sky is dark, completely black, the rain has turned into snowflakes, soon, I smiled gratifiedly, breathed in the cold air, and felt a bit of coolness in my burning chest.The snow was getting bigger and bigger, and the feathers were flying all over the sky. I couldn't see clearly, for fear of missing the figure I missed so hard.I go through the fence, get closer, still can't see, get closer.I stood in the middle of the playground, wrapped in the overwhelming snow... Before I was frozen, Walter dragged me back to the dormitory.I still wait every day, looking everywhere.

I miss him, I want to see him, I miss him terribly, I miss him so much, it drives me crazy, my heart hurts, I suffocate.When I was on the verge of death, I met my father, so if Zhao is really gone and has really gone to heaven, then if I am on the verge of death again, can I have a chance to see him?Even if it's just a possibility, I'm willing, if I really die here, wouldn't it be better.Because this hopeless waiting is too painful.

This time when I came home, there was a pile of drawing paper spread out on the carpet in front of the couch in the study, who looked at it and confiscated it?These should be jade paintings, landscape oil paintings, Caesar Manor, Lake Chiem, churches, vineyards, streams, big houses, fountains, vegetable fields, stables... I browsed randomly.I have never paid attention to Yu's paintings, and I didn't expect him to draw so well.Art is fundamentally the expression of human emotion, and painting is the most direct one.These paintings, these scenes, are all too familiar, but I have never realized that they are so beautiful, so beautiful that it hurts the heart and makes people cry.And... and... the silver sword!Chitu!Zhao!I!I sat on the sofa and looked at each one carefully and greedily, especially Zhao, that light, that shadow, that smile, that eyes, that shining pupil, that gorgeous rainbow... I finally saw You are gone, although only in the painting.

I don't know if Zhao had a premonition, or it was God's will. If it wasn't for taking care of Yuhe's unborn child, I don't know how long I can hold on.But in these painful and difficult days, Yu's paintings have become my greatest comfort.I understood the reason why Yu didn't go back to the manor with me. She was not afraid that the scene here would make people feel emotional, which would only increase the sadness. She was giving me the time and space to recover and heal.Thank you, my goddess, you are always so considerate, always so strong and tolerant, don’t worry, I will not fail Zhao, nor will I fail you, for him, for your children, I will live a good life .

I found time to find Anders Schulz a few times, and sent him famous wines and gold watches that had been preserved for many years.These are not what he asked for. I gave them to him on my own initiative, in order to ask him to help find Natalie's whereabouts.

Nathalie was at the women's concentration camp in Ravensbrück, near Furstenberg, 80 kilometers north of Berlin. (Note: The Ravensbrück Women's Concentration Camp was built in 1939. A 3-storey office building stands at the entrance of the concentration camp, and the words "Work makes people free" are written on the gate at the entrance. That is, from this Under the signboard, 13.3 women, children, and young people once walked in. They were forced to do heavy physical labor such as road construction, and some women were used for medical experiments. Before the Soviet Red Army liberated here in 1945, about Nearly 5 people were persecuted to death.)

I made an order through him, sent a pair of cufflinks set with two one-carat diamonds, and arranged for Natalie to work in the cafeteria, so that she could eat better and suffer less cold in winter.I told Christine the news to reassure him, and I also told the owner of the Moonfall Bar.

The owner of the Moonfall Bar is a friend of Christine's who helped Christine hide Natalie's parents.As a precaution, the boss didn't take me to see Natalie's parents, and I didn't question them, but they were very happy with Natalie's news and couldn't be more grateful to me.

"That's the only way for now. I will try my best to reassure the elderly. Maybe they should consider leaving Germany first." It is an unreasonable suggestion for parents to abandon their daughters and leave, but the reality is like this, I No more fantasies.

"Yes, yes. They are very strong. Although they can't bear it, Natalie also has a younger brother. But the problem is that we still don't have a reliable and safe route to send them away."

"That's it."

I don't have any resources for this either.To really help them is to send them away safely, but who should I turn to?I thought of Dean Catherine. Before I went to the island this time, I hadn’t seen her for several years, and I didn’t know her attitude towards the current situation. But when she presided over Zhao’s wedding that time, what she said: “Sometimes I feel my powers are limited because God seems to be out of our lives during this difficult time, but God is still in our hearts and I see him manifest in you now." Yes, I remember this This paragraph, she said at the beginning of the wedding, when I was still relatively sober, and most of the churches did not support the Nazis.

Maybe I should ask her for help?Or try it out first?Should I ask my mother for her opinion?She and Abbot Catherine are best friends, and they must know each other.No!Or don't tell mother!I shouldn't implicate her, and if she objects after she finds out, then I can't do anything.

Just when I was thinking about it and hesitating, I suddenly received a call from Berlin, which was from Uncle Yu.

"Jade is under arrest, Baron!"

I don't know if it's because of the wiring problem or he was slurring his words. I didn't hear clearly at all, but that anxious tone. "What did you say?" I called into the receiver.

"Jade is under arrest, Baron, Jade is under arrest."