father - home

During my time off, there were new medics in the battalion and a lot of new people in the lab.The scale of the experiment will be expanded and the number of projects will increase. The third floor of the hospital can no longer meet the needs. It is planned to build an independent new laboratory next to the hospital immediately.As soon as I got to work, I faced two difficult and arduous tasks: according to the needs, I proposed new laboratory requirements to the architectural design engineer; I was responsible for formulating a series of test plans such as procedures, steps, and data collection for various new tests.The former thing is a little bit better, anyway, it’s building a house, I can put aside my feelings, but the latter, I found it difficult to control my emotions when discussing the experimental plan in a meeting, and it’s no longer possible for me to feel like I just came here. Dachau treated the test samples as just guinea pigs. They were one person, skinny people in gray prison uniforms, with miserable expressions.Sometimes they are expressionless, or even faceless; and other times their faces will be clear and vivid, laughing, crying, becoming a...

I can't stand it, I can't control it, I can only end the meeting before I go crazy. "I have something to go out in the afternoon. You continue. Lieutenant Foss, you are in charge. Put the first draft of the experimental protocol on my desk by 8:00 next Monday morning."

"Find a German girl." It was easier said than done. Except for my mother and family members, I rarely had contact with women, and I never had a close girlfriend. Who could I turn to for help?Only Mary.

On the afternoon of the weekend, I came to Mary's cabin.After the kiss, I shook my head at her deep, longing gaze. "I want to ask you a favor, Mary."

I couldn't have sex with her, I said no, because I felt like, after sex, I couldn't say anything.

Mary poured me coffee, sat down at the table, and bowed her head.With me, she is always submissive, like a slave.

"Mary, you know Zhao's situation. Although his homosexuality is unjust, but to completely regain his freedom, he must do one more thing, which is to date and have sex with a girl at a certain time and in a certain restaurant. You know Zhao can't make a girlfriend by himself, and I have no other way, so please help me."

Mary didn't look up at me as I spoke, which allowed me to continue.

"I'm looking for a German girl, not a whore, or a slut, a good girl, maybe married. I'll let them meet, and she'll play Zhao's girlfriend. I want that girl to know, it's just a show It is impossible for Zhao to fall in love with her, and she should not be emotionally involved, of course I will thank her, a very generous thank you."

Mary didn't answer, didn't look up.I waited for a while, and finally couldn't bear it. "Will you help me?"

"I can try."

"Thank you!"

"But it's not easy."

"how?"

"A good girl, not only for money, will definitely ask why."

"uh-huh."

"Since he was wronged, why can't he find a girlfriend by himself? It should be easy for Zhao."

"You mean, it's risky."

Mary didn't answer.

Very risky indeed.How many Germans are willing to help a foreigner, gay, nowadays?At first, he might be attracted by money or Zhao's appearance, but later, after learning the truth, he will still report it. The better a person is, the more he will fulfill his due responsibilities as a citizen.The more I thought about it, the more frightened I became, and the hand holding the cigarette shook more and more, and I couldn't get the cigarette into my mouth.

The hand was lightly held, and Mary was already standing in front of me, taking the cigarette butt and snuffing it out in the tray.

I grabbed that cold little hand, like grabbing a life-saving straw.

"Don't look for others, don't worry."

I looked up at Mary, what shocking words are you going to say?

"I am the most suitable."

No smile, no expression, the thoughts hidden behind the eyes are so complicated, yet so simple?

"No! No!" I shook my head vigorously, not only to deny Mary's proposal, but also to get rid of those memories in my mind.

"Impossible! Absolutely not!" I shook off Mary and rushed out the door.

I suddenly regretted asking Mary for help, and even regretted having a relationship with Mary for the first time.

At first, I took Mary as Zhao; then, I thought that Mary needed it, and I needed it too.Mary needs warmth, signs of life; I need proof, relaxation and peace.None of us need feelings.However, feelings are very mysterious things. Of course, I would not fall in love with Mary. When I had sex with her, I would not admit the slightest bit of love, but when I heard her proposal, my first reaction was to refuse.Reason tells me that Mary did this just to help us, just like Ernst, who helped us without complaint or regret, she could sacrifice her life or anything, but emotionally, I couldn’t accept it.I don't know why, but seeing Mary propose so calmly makes me angry.By the way, I am not angry with the content of her proposal, but with the attitude of her proposal.Was there no difference between Akira, me, and Ernst to her?Yes, Mary hasn't met Zhao yet, so she can't have feelings, so she is willing to do this just for me?Since you love me, why do you think that I will accept her doing this?Am I so selfish?Does she think I don't care about her at all?Really just treat her like a thing?

I have a splitting headache.Ladies, I really don't understand.The wind at dusk carried a hint of coolness, which somewhat cleared my mind.By the time I approached the estate, I had stripped away all unnecessary affectation and made the only sane decision: Mary was the best fit.

But Zhao didn't see it that way.

"Mary, Ernst's lover?" Zhao stared at me with wide eyes in surprise.

"Yes, she is the only one suitable." I avoided Zhao's sharp gaze and continued quickly.Not only did I have to convince Zhao, but I had to convince myself again. "Because Mary is Ernst's lover, it is reasonable for you to know her, and the development of your relationship is also understandable. Mary has known about us for a long time, and she will never betray you. She took the initiative to ask to help us .And Mary is someone who has experienced it, Zhao, she has experience, and she is the most suitable for you."

Zhao shook his head resolutely. "no!"

"Zhao, listen to me..." I still want to explain, I want to explain all the stakes to Zhao, I want to explain Mary's thoughts to him, I... I get scared, if I continue talking, it will lead to those... Those weren't betrayals, I never betrayed Zhao, Mary didn't betray Ernst, but what about the truth?

"Stop talking! Don't mention this matter again!"

The sound was not very loud, but I was frightened.That kind of sternness and determination, that kind of coldness and anger, I have never seen Zhaofa with such a big temper.

That night, Zhao never said a word to me again.Because of this, I was so restless that I didn't fall asleep until the second half of the night.Finally, Zhao stretched out his hand, hooked my neck, and pulled me over.

"sorry!"

Zhao didn't answer, just pressed my head against his chest.

At first I was still a little nervous, but gradually I relaxed, listening to the "boom, boom" heartbeat in his chest, I fell asleep very quickly.Since that night of rescue, Zhao's heartbeat has become my most effective lullaby.Zhao understands what he means to me.Zhao will never be angry with me.Even if the reality is too cruel, he still has to work hard to keep his heart, keep my heart, and protect our love.

Lying on Zhao's chest, I fell asleep peacefully.