father - home

When I went upstairs, Zhao stared at me in my arms again: "I just found out today."

"what?"

"The lady's eyes are gray."

"what happened?"

"You are very similar to Madam, but I always feel that there is a little difference. It turns out that it is the color of your eyes. You are blue."

"Yes, I look like my mother in everything else, except for the color of my eyes like my father."

"Your father..."

"Ok?"

"When will you take me to see it?"

"OK.

I wasn't surprised that Zhao wanted to visit his father.Just like I want to know everything about Zhao, Zhao also wants to know about me, but I really never thought about taking Zhao to see my father.Sometimes I wonder if this is God's will. The time of my father's death, neither early nor late, seems to be God's intentional arrangement.

My father's reaction was the strongest when my relationship with Joseph was revealed to the family.Due to my mother's dissuasion, my father did not disown me, but he forbade me from going to church again.Even my father himself doubted how binding his ban would be on me as an unfilial son, but I really never stepped into any church, attended mass, or confessed or repented to anyone.The reason for this is not because of my father, but because of the deep fear in my heart.My father's contempt, my mother's sorrow, my family's pity, Joseph's escape and my own loneliness made me fall into deep fear.I may be really guilty, I am afraid of being abandoned, exiled, I am afraid of entering the church, and I dare not face up to the sad tears in the eyes of Jesus and the Virgin who suffered for me on the cross.At that time, his only son would not have been present at his father's funeral, but not now.Zhao and I have walked along the way, miracles, the Lord's care and blessings, I have seen the Lord's kindness and tolerance, the Lord loves the world, and loves them for what they are.I love you, father, even though my father would not even look at me until he died.I walked into the church and saw my father off, without fear or apprehension, I was calm, apart from sadness, I also had wishes and some regrets——I haven’t had the chance to introduce Zhao to you, Father.

However, I won't do that, and I don't want Zhao to suffer any more grievances.As my mother said, if Zhao was just my ordinary friend, everything would be very simple.Father would like Zhao very much. They have many things in common, and they hit it off just because they love horses.But...if my father is still there, I don't know how to deal with the relationship between him and Zhao.

Zhao saw that I was silent, so he didn't speak, just looked at me until I put him on the sofa. "Sit down for a while, I'll put some water in."

Zhao grabbed me. "Not today, I just washed it before dinner."

Zhao was very tired, and his eyelids dropped unconsciously.I couldn't bear it in my heart, but I still insisted: "Just soak for a while."

Every day before going to bed, I let Zhao soak in hot water for 20 minutes, and then massage him.This relaxes the body and aids sleep.Maybe not today.

I turned on the water and went back to the house. Zhao had already fallen asleep on the sofa.

I unbuttoned it for him.He was disturbed by me, he didn't open his eyes, but moved the corners of his mouth.I stopped being stubborn, kissed him tenderly, and put him to bed.

Under the dim light, Zhao's face was soft and peaceful, his forehead and temples were covered with a thin layer of sweat, his chest rose and fell slightly, and his slow, long breathing made me feel at ease, and my hanging heart was relieved. Anxiety and tension are also relieved.Zhao finally started to get better, he will recover, he will recover, and he will leave.

That night, Zhao slept soundly, but I kept dreaming and woke up several times.The dream, almost every day, is nothing special, especially after waking up again and again, I don't remember what I dreamed at all, just cold sweat, panting, and trembling.

A bandaged hand fell on my chest, and Zhao asked softly, "What's wrong?"

I didn't answer, I opened my eyes wide, stared at the top of the black hole, panting heavily.The shadows of the trees on the wall swayed with the wind, changing into various hideous and terrifying figures.All was silent except for the monotonous ticking of the cuckoo clock.

Soft lips covered my cheeks, and warm hands touched my forehead.

I was scared, still shaking, in the dream, don't know what, I just felt scared, very scared.Fear is everywhere, pressing towards me like a mountain, tying me tightly like an iron chain, and drowning me like sea water.I hunched over, unable to breathe, and trembling uncontrollably.

Zhao's hands circled around my body and pulled me into his arms.

I put my face against his chest, feeling his heartbeat, I put my arms around his waist, the tighter the hug, the tighter the face.

We didn't talk anymore.

He kisses my hair and touches my shoulder.I couldn't help crying.Tears dripped again on his chest, where his heart beat.Under his caress, I fell asleep again in his arms.

The faint morning light shone into the room through the white linen curtains, and the shadows of trees on the wall were blurred, and the darkness and fear disappeared together.

I was still lying in Zhao's arms.His touching and kissing came and went.I raised my head, and that pure, sweet kiss fell, and my eyelashes were gently pressed together.I smiled and closed my eyes, but parted my lips.

The unique softness and moistness covered my dryness, and our lips stuck together.I stuck out my tongue from between my lips, and before I touched those two rows of shiny, neat white teeth, I encountered the same urgent and eager search.Our tongues collided and entangled.

I straightened up involuntarily, and squeezed into his arms. When I met his heat, I realized that I was also strong.

Zhao tightly wrapped my back with one hand, and held the two of them together tightly with the other.

I seemed to just wake up, and my eyes widened in horror.

Our tongues are entangled, our lips cannot be separated, the tips of our noses rub against each other, and our eyes look into each other's hearts.

I frowned and shook my head again and again.No!This will not work!Zhao!Your body... I can't!I wanted to push him away, to escape the lingering kiss, but every minute I stepped back, he would move forward.

His eyes smiled, and that tender look broke my will.You want it, I know, because I want it too.In this dawn of hope, with the same power and passion in our bodies, love me!my sweetheart.

In the morning light, Zhao's complexion was glowing with health, his red lips were plump and crystal clear, and his eyes were burning with flames of lust.

"What are you doing! Let go! No, no, no..." I was still struggling to escape, but he wouldn't let go.

"I won't let you go! I know you want to! Our bodies can speak for themselves. Love me! Love me!" Zhao looked at me firmly, with firm and eager eyes, but there was a trace of choking in his voice.

Zhao stretched out his right hand, more or less pale and slender fingers stroked my cheeks, from the eyes to the corners of the lips, as if he was exploring something, which made me breathless, the desire accumulated for a long time made my whole body hot, and the hot feeling made my body His breathing became short of breath.I suddenly felt dry lips, opened my mouth, took his bandaged fingers in my mouth, and sucked greedily.I propped myself up on top of him, my arms trembling slightly.

Zhao's fingers continued to move down my neck to the collarbone, and the excited pulse became more active under the touch of his magical fingertips.I couldn't help but feel my chest tightening and rising and falling with the rapid breathing.I took one side of his chest and rubbed it gently.

His hands wrapped around my back, stroking up and down, "You warm me like the sun, you are my guardian angel." He continued to look at me with that kind of gentle eyes, trying to raise his head, Wanders lightly on my lips.

I felt a kind of warmth that I had never experienced before, from my lower abdomen, from my lips, from Zhao's palm, chest, and whole body and mind.

Although we are together all the time, the concern for each other's health and deep love make us restrain ourselves consciously or unconsciously.Now, the heat radiated from each other's body seeps into each other's blood little by little, into every part of the body, and we burn.

I looked straight into his eyes, with tears in my eyes, and said in a low voice, "You know, I've been suppressed so painfully, I'm so scared, I always think that you will leave me suddenly, promise me , never leave me."

Zhao looked at me, and put one arm around my waist tightly, so that there was no gap between us at all. "I agree." Zhao pressed my palm on his own left chest. "This is my heart, it's my heart that beats hard for you, and it's real, and it'll never leave you."