The actor is sick, I have no medicine

Xing Xuan almost never dreams.

Moderate to severe alexithymia makes his brain lack hallucinations, making it difficult to dream during sleep.To put it in an easy-to-understand way, he can't "make up" anything beyond reality.

Everything he sees is real to him.

Like right now, he's standing alone at the end of an empty aisle.

You can't see your fingers when you stretch out your hands, and you can't see around in the dark.In front is a bright door, and behind it is endless darkness.

His intuition told him that he couldn't go any further.

Hearing someone calling his name from a distance, Xing Xuan turned his head and looked into the darkness, but saw nothing.

Only one step away from the gate at the end, something grabbed the hem of his clothes, preventing him from moving forward.

He lowered his eyes and saw a pair of thin, little girl's hands.

He stopped in his tracks and said to the owner of his hand, "Let me go."

"Do you know what's ahead?"

A childish female voice came from the darkness. She had been holding on to his clothes tightly behind her back, preventing the man in front of her from entering the door, "That's the place where people go after they die. I can't come back."

Xing Xuan didn't speak.

Standing deadlocked with the owner of the hand in the dark for a long time, he apologized for the first time in his life: "I'm sorry."

Hearing Xing Xuan's apology, the girl giggled in the dark: "Xing Xuan, thank you."

Her laughter was sweet, echoing in the empty corridor, but it didn't sound scary.

"Yueyue is going to take the high school entrance examination soon, and she has wanted to take the high school entrance examination for a long time. Qizai just bought a train ticket to the beach, and she should be on the train by now. Ah Han, Lin Gou and the others also made an appointment to watch your concert, so Let's go to the amusement park in the city together."

The girl said seriously in the dark: "Thank you for saving them. If it wasn't for you, they would never have the chance to do these things again."

Xing Xuan's voice was hoarse: "...What about you?"

Since he was dead, why did he stay here all the time, why didn't he walk through that door?

The girl smiled sweetly: "I can't make it through, I don't have legs."

Xing Xuan's face froze.

He turned his head and saw a little girl wearing a beautiful skirt sitting on the ground, she was tightly pulling his back hem, preventing him from going to death.

The girl's face was hidden in the darkness, she sat obediently on the cold floor, her white skirt was spread all over the floor.

It was empty under the skirt, nothing.

--

"...Young Master, Eldest Young Master?"

As soon as the girl's voice fell, Xing Shi's call suddenly came from a very far away place at the end of the corridor.

A dull pain hit his mind, and the human voice in his mind pulled him back to reality.

Slowly opening his eyes on the hospital bed, Xing Xuan only felt a severe headache.

He seemed to have had a dream just now.

The content of the dream gradually became somewhat blurred, and although there were a few sporadic fragments in my mind, they were not complete.

Because the scene was too real, a thin layer of cold sweat soaked his back.

Seeing the young master frowning and opening his eyes, Xing Shi hastily bowed down and said respectfully, "Master Lu, Doctor Lu is here, and he is waiting outside."

In normal times, even if he was given ten guts, he wouldn't dare to wake up his sleeping master easily.But the person who came today was none other than Dr. Lu whom the Eldest Young Master asked to see by name.

Doctor Lu's face was full of "I'm very upset and annoying, please don't provoke me", if he didn't wake up the young master in time, and let the angry doctor run away without paying attention, then he would definitely have nothing good to eat in the future .

Seeing that the young master didn't respond, Xing Shi asked humbly again: "Master, then, shall I invite Dr. Lu in?"

The young master kept a cold face and said nothing, just raised his eyelids, and glanced at the door lightly.

After serving the young master for so long, Xing Shi has long learned the ability to observe words and expressions, knowing that this is the default meaning.

Opening the door of the ward and preparing to go out to fetch someone, Xing Shi vaguely heard the rustling of the bedclothes behind him.

Through the reflection of the glass door, he saw that the young master grabbed the capsule of psychotropic drugs on the bedside table and stuffed it under the pillow calmly.

Why does this picture look so familiar...

While walking out of the ward, Xing Shi's mind came up with the Science and Education Channel cartoons he had watched when he was a child.

The adults went into the bedroom to check the guards, and the children quickly got under the covers and secretly hid all the candies.

……

Shaking his head, Xing Shi quickly threw out all the subtle thoughts in his mind.

As soon as Xing Xuan hid the pills, Lu Danggui followed Xing Shi into the ward.

Holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

Glancing at the things in the hands of the visitor, Xing Xing turned his head to look at the dark night outside the window, and said softly, "Doctor Lu is so elegant."

After receiving the flowers from Dr. Lu, Xing Shi was about to pick them up and put them in the vase on the bedside table, when he suddenly realized that the flowers seemed to be... made of plastic.

"Doctor Lu, this is—"

"Oh, no need to intervene." Seeing Xing Shi's action, Lu Danggui quickly waved his hand, "It's not worth the money to send it by scanning the QR code at the entrance of the subway station."

Glancing anxiously at his master on the hospital bed, Xing Shi silently put the flowers back beside the bed.

Sensing the low air pressure on the Eldest Young Master, he didn't even dare to breathe out, and turned around decisively to close the door of the ward, allowing Eldest Young Master to spend time with Dr. Lu.

Looking at the silent man on the hospital bed, Lu Danggui felt that there must be something wrong in his mind.

What a perfect night it would have been, without the night shift and those spreadsheets on the computer.Going home to play games and watch movies, why can't he do anything, why did he come to the hospital to see this person?

Coming out of his younger sister's school today, he held back a lot of questions and wanted to question Xing Xuan.Unexpectedly, after hearing what the tall man said on the phone, his swollen stomach felt like someone had pricked him with a needle, and most of his anger was vented immediately.

He got on the subway and got home in only two or three stops. He got off the station halfway and took the subway back to the hospital.

When he came out of the subway station, a girl selling cosmetics stopped him, saying that he could send flowers by scanning the QR code and paying attention, and he could take them back to give to his girlfriend.

Waving his hand to reject the enthusiastic salesman, he walked 100 meters along the subway entrance, and Lu Danggui turned around and turned back.

Touching the tip of his nose, he said to the salesman unnaturally: "Then I'd better scan one."

Anyway, it can be regarded as visiting patients, and it is really not good to be empty-handed.

Besides, how appropriate is the plastic flower, the relationship between him and Xing Xuan is so plastic.

Before coming here, he thought it was because the last time he was discharged from the hospital too quickly and the sequelae of the car accident had not been completely cured, so Xing Xuan was admitted to the rehabilitation department again.

Sitting in front of the sofa in the VIP ward, paying attention to the people on the bed, Lu Danggui noticed something was wrong.

Before working with Director Wang as a clinical assistant, he gradually developed the habit of quickly gaining insight into the mental state of patients.

Putting his hands on the edge of the bed, his knuckles were slightly curled and hooked inwards, deliberately blocking the scars on the inside of his wrists—an act of self-mutilation.

When I saw myself coming in, my first reaction was to avoid my eyes, pretending to be the same as usual - to avoid defense.

Thinking of this, Lu Danggui frowned slightly: "When did you start?"

Xing Xuan pretended to be puzzled: "What is Dr. Lu talking about?"

Lu Danggui immediately got up from the sofa and walked to the hospital bed.

"Turn your right hand over," he ordered Xing Xuan, "open your palm."

Xing Xuan sat on the bed and didn't move for a long time.

Lu Danggui was not in a good mood tonight, so without further ado, he grabbed Xing Xuan's wrist, turned his whole hand over, and prepared to check it carefully.

Thinking of the last time this person "hissed" and complained of pain, he subconsciously lowered the pressure so as not to involve his wound again.

The burn on Xing Xuan's palm hadn't fully healed yet, and new scratches were left behind, and new wounds covered old wounds, which was shocking to see.

The guess in my heart was verified, and the expression on Lu Danggui's face was not very good-looking.

Although he is no longer his patient, he still knows very well about Xing Xuan's condition.

Xing Xuan's mental illness does not belong to the category of active seizures, and generally needs to be triggered by external forces. For example, the previous movie "Vicious Dog" was an important factor that stimulated his delusional symptoms.

Self-harm is a precursor to a worsening condition, and the person is not doing well right now.

Lu Danggui was about to ask again, when he suddenly realized that at some point, Xing Xing had tensed his back, and his eyes were staring straight out of the window.

There was a sound of sirens downstairs from far to near. It was not known where the fire broke out in the urban area, and the fire truck was dispatched urgently.

Xing Xuan's whole body began to tremble violently.

He grabbed the hand of the person next to him violently and refused to let go.

--

Everything around is moving backward rapidly, and the vision becomes more and more blurred.Opening his eyes again, he found himself in a sea of ​​flames.

All he could see were flames, and the thick smoke choked him almost out of breath.

He was backstage at that concert again.

Standing at a narrow intersection, less than 100 meters to the left is the central control room of the gymnasium.

Holding his breath tightly, he ignored the tongue of flames licking his trousers, and staggered towards the control room.

The door to the control room was getting closer and closer.

50 meters, 20 meters, ten meters——

When he was less than ten meters away from the control room, he found the girl lying at the aisle.

The girl was face down, covered in blood all over her body, and appeared to be unconscious.Her lower body was crushed under the collapsed wall, and her legs were so twisted that they couldn't see their original shape.

Hearing footsteps not far away, the girl moved her fingers slightly.

"Who... help, please, help me—"

The safety light of the emergency exit flickered a few times and then went out completely.There was a dull sound not far away, and a door that had been in disrepair for a long time could not bear the erosion of the flames, and it crashed to the ground.

The girl's weak cry came from the thick smoke, and she began to yell indiscriminately: "Brother, brother..."

"I don't want to die yet—"

The fire spread quickly, and the corridor where the control room was located was filled with acrid smoke.

He didn't know if the fire truck was coming, but he knew that time was running out.

As long as they rushed into the control room immediately and obtained the authority to open the gate, the [-] spectators in the stadium could safely evacuate.

However, once he left this corridor, the already narrow path was bound to be engulfed in flames.

And the little girl was still crushed under the rubble, crying and looking for her brother.

A burst of fishy sweetness welled up in his throat, and the light of the fire reflected his pale face.

Xing Xuan stopped in the corridor, his whole body began to tremble uncontrollably.

control room.

little girl.

He can only choose one.

The author has something to say: Thanks for following up~

感谢在2021-05-1102:13:45~2021-05-1202:22:41期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 10 bottles of Qingxuan; 9 bottles of Chaoyi; 6 bottles of Feifei Bufei; 3 bottles of Mr. Mu Xin;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!