Fate replacement

"...Wake up...Wake up! Hana? It's here, City G." Yu Mu lightly woke herself up, the familiar street scene made me feel dizzy, how long has it been since I came back to this city... the car Stopping casually by the side of the road, "... what time is it?" Rubbing his forehead and turning his head to look at Yu Mu, who was looking at him aside, he asked, ignoring the worried expression on his face.Seeing his worried appearance, I can't help but wonder, is he too sympathetic?

How many times have you seen such a worried expression in just one day?I'm afraid I can't count... I really don't know whether he is really worried about me, or the figure of Xu Zhi on my body.He did give himself the courage to go home, but I really can't give him a guarantee for his attitude, and I can't trust him completely. "It's [-]:[-], do you want to go to the hotel to rest for a night and then visit tomorrow?" [-]: [-], it's the same if you haven't gone back for a long time, their habits will not change, so it should be at this time They've all stopped.

"..." I nodded and didn't say anything, the car started up again, looking at the darkness outside the window with only a few dots of lights, the habits of the countryside are still unchangeable, unlike the bustling cities, they live an incomparably regular life Life.

It's so difficult to break the old ideas because of the rules.

"Uh, it should be here?" After driving for a while, I came to a flat building that was quite different from the one next to it. I was a little stunned looking at the bustling decorations, but we didn't give us much time to think about it, and someone After coming out, he lightly knocked on Yu Mu's car window, and Yu Mu slowly lowered the car window, "Are you a guest who wants to stay?" He looked at the two of us and asked gently, "Yes Yes, can you please arrange it for us?"

"Okay, but there are only suites with double beds left in the hotel. Can two people be okay?" The waiter looked at me and then at Yu Mu. Yu Mu turned to look at me, and I nodded to say yes.

"That's it, where should the car be parked?" Yu Mu turned his head and answered him. "Please follow me in, please. The car will be driven to the parking lot at the back." The waiter still had a smile on his face, and his unhurried attitude made people feel comfortable for a while.

I didn't say anything more to Yu Mu, I picked up my belongings and got out of the car.

When I first entered and saw the hall, I was a little surprised because the exterior decoration looked a bit gorgeous, which was quite different from the rural features, but the interior decoration was elegant and simple, with some rural style.

"Sir, please go to the counter to check in first." The waiter still had a smile on his face, and so did Yu Mu. "Okay, can I trouble you to take him to the room first? I'll just wait and find it myself." Yu Mu pointed at me, and I looked at him suspiciously, "Okay." Following the lead of the waiter Next, I went to the room first, and he took out the proximity card he just took from the counter to open the door and handed it to me, "Have a nice night." After hearing the waiter say this, he suddenly felt a smile on his face. The meaning is deeper.

The waiter left with a smile on his face, but when I entered, I felt that my eyes were about to go blind.

Because I saw a lot of pink.

I was stunned at the door for a long time, and suddenly burst out, "This is called a couple's suite, right!" It was very ordinary, what kind of double bed suite... It's a couple's suite, you bastard!

Some walked into the room with a gloomy face and threw themselves on the bed, and got up from the bed after a while, and then saw Yu Mu who was stunned at the door, "Although, although the counter said it, I didn't expect it to be so exaggerated. ...too pink." Yu Mu closed the door with some embarrassment, and approached me. "This room is horrible." I said sincerely.

He smiled wryly twice, "Go take a bath first, get some sleep quickly..." He rubbed his forehead, this sentence seemed to have another meaning.

For example, the sooner you fix it, the faster you can turn off the lights, so it will be so dark that you can't see the over-powdered room, and so on.

The corners of his mouth curled up and he smiled slightly, "Then I'll wash it first." He waved his hand and took out the computer that he took out of the car just now. The sound of starting up was running softly before I entered the bathroom. .

Putting on the bathrobes that the hotel puts in the room for guests to change, I walked out of the bathroom. The heat flowed freely as the door opened, and then I saw Yu Mu who was sitting by the bed and maintained the same posture for an unknown amount of time, using his laptop again. Office...it should be office.

"It's your turn." Walking out of the warm bathroom and returning to the room, he suddenly shivered, "Ah, good, get dressed quickly." He stared at the computer while casually reminding.

Seeing that he didn't intend to move, I also went to the bed and sat down. Looking at the pink double bed, my thoughts drifted a little.

How long has it been since you slept in the same bed as someone else?Regardless of men and women, regardless of relatives and friends or not, how long has it been?One year, or two years? "He" didn't go home at all before the breakup, and waited for him until late at night every day, until his eyelids couldn't hold on and he fell asleep tiredly, and woke up the next day as if it was the same as yesterday, no different.

What is the meaning of a deserted home and a home without love to me... Even if it hurts, I can't tell anyone.Obviously at that time, I had no one left except him, no friends, no family, only one person who didn't love me.

Shaking my head to bring my thoughts back, I saw Yu Mu looking at me with a worried expression, "What are you doing?" He didn't say anything before I typed back, "No, nothing..." He didn't need to say it, I knew what he wanted to ask, it was nothing more than "──Are you okay?" ’, 『──Are you okay? ’ or something like that?

Suddenly I felt anxious, "I'm going to take a shower, you go to bed first." He patted my head as if coaxing me like a child, and then ran into the bathroom to take a bath.

He was a bit at a loss for his actions before that he had turned the lights to night lights.

After quarreling with my family, I have no friends, no family, and live a life with only "him", but "he" has never cared about me, never comforted me, so I have long been used to living alone, does anyone care? I don't care about myself for a long time, but it always feels good to be cared about.

Lying on the bed and tightening the quilt, with only the faint sound of the water being covered by the door, I slowly fell asleep.

"What do you want to do in the future, Xiaoqing?" Mother's gentle voice echoed in her ears, followed by a soft child's voice, "Well, I want to be a very, very powerful superman, and I want to protect Ma Ma !" The little Hua Yueqing smiled innocently, "Hehe, then mother is waiting for Xiaoqing to protect me." Her mother's silver bell-like voice rang in her ears, as if it was a spell that made people strong, and I couldn't help it for a long time. Disperse.

When did you start to forget this feeling?Simple, naive, the feeling of wanting to protect my mother and family members for the rest of my life...

"Mom... I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, he is really important to me, I love him..." Seeing her mother's expression on the verge of collapse, her sister Hua Yueqing stopped herself from speaking, "Stop talking , Xiaoqing...don't say it..." The elder sister who usually helps her mother to run around, shed the shrewd and capable brilliance of his body, and his body looked precarious. I knew she was frightened by me. "Sister, I'm sorry... I can't, I really can't give him up." I looked at my sister and my mother who was almost out of breath with some bitterness, and I still knelt on the ground and looked at them directly.

From the past to now, the two of them have cared for me carefully, taught me many things and helped me pave the way for the future, but the sudden confession broke the relationship with them and shattered like glass.

As far as I can remember, I have no memory of "father", and they have never mentioned it to me. My sister is much older than me, a full seven years older. How did my mother raise us alone? At this age, I also know that she works non-stop and saves money just to give me a better environment. I hope that I can find a good job by relying on what I have learned in the future so that I will not make myself suffer.

She doesn't expect me to follow the path she laid out. She said that as long as I can feed myself and live a life that is not too hard, she doesn't care what kind of job I have, but I am out of the closet and I like the same sex. This matter was beyond her acceptable range.

Kneeling for a whole night, my mother didn't say anything, neither agreed nor objected. Instead, my sister kept begging me to leave "him". I rubbed my numb feet, shook my head and looked at him bitterly. Sister, "I'm sorry." I couldn't say anything except this sentence.

I heard all her pleadings, but there was nothing I could do for her.Such a firm determination from childhood to adulthood broke their hearts severely.

She keeps asking me who "he" is, but I refuse to reveal a word, for fear that she will run to find "him", the one who I dated with and deeply loved by me——Ruoyu.

I left without saying good-bye to my sister and mother.

Sitting on the double bed in the darkness, my body trembled slightly, and I felt the cold after another while hugging my body... The sad expressions of my sister and mother could not be dispelled in my mind.I dreamed of memories from a long time ago. When I was a child, I vowed to protect my mother, but when I grew up, I broke up on bad terms, and I haven't contacted my family for many years.

His fingers trembled and touched his face, and tears kept dripping down like stars. Seeing Yu Mu who was sleeping soundly beside him, he suddenly felt a burst of fear.

I dare not go home.

Their expressions are still replaying in my mind again and again. What expressions will I see when I go back this time?unimaginable.At this time, I am like a snail trying to get back into the warm shell to escape the cold winter, but the difference between me is that what I want to escape is their chilling expression.

I don't want to see that expression anymore... I am still avoiding it after all.

I'm different from Yu Mu, I don't have his strength, I don't have his decisiveness, what I have is a cowardly heart, afraid of seeing what I'm afraid of, and then keep running away.

But while I was afraid, I was also looking forward to seeing my mother and sister. After so many years of not being in touch, I still miss them, their faces and their voices.

"What the hell... what should I do?" I murmured to myself, unable to get an answer.

Both afraid and looking forward to it.

"Hmm..." Yu Mu, who was sleeping soundly beside him, suddenly opened his eyes and got up, "Huh? How did you wake up?" His somewhat confused appearance was in contrast to his capable appearance, "No... Before he finished speaking, he frowned and stroked my cheek gently, "Why, why are you crying?" He seemed to be woken up by me, and his tone returned to normal.

"It's okay." He turned his head and wiped away the tears on his face with his hands. He lay down with his back behind his back without saying anything, closed his eyes and quickly returned to the black consciousness and drifted with the tide. Yu Mu, who was confused by Tuliu, stared at me blankly.

In the black consciousness of not being able to see anything, I slowly fell asleep again.

I'm afraid of going home but looking forward to it. If I can't get an answer, I might as well stop thinking about it. Everything will be decided tomorrow.

I believe that everything will pass, time may not be able to heal every wound, but at least it can hide that wound and make people forget it.

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