Rebirth to the peak of life

The last light in the room was also turned off, and the mottled shadows of lights on the street fell on the floor through the gauze curtains. Chen Yin suddenly said softly in Qin Yan's arms: "Qin Yan, you are not going to steal Is it fishy?"

"...No...not."

"Why did you hesitate when answering?" He stretched out his hand to hold Qin Yan's lifeblood, exerting a little strength.

Qin Yan let out an ouch, and for some reason, his irritable, depressed mood that had been depressed all day was suddenly resolved by Chen Yin's action.

Chen Yin tried again: "Say! Did you do something to be sorry for me?"

"...Chen Yin, if I did a lot of bad things in the past, will you look down on me?"

"Do you want to tell the truth?" Chen Yin laughed.

"Well, don't laugh, I'm asking you seriously."

Chen Yin turned over and lay flat on the bed, his side face reflected a delicate silhouette in the moonlight: "When I first saw you, I thought this boy must be very proud, with a good family background and good looks He's handsome, and he must have played with the emotions and... bodies of many little girls."

As he spoke, he glanced sideways at Qin Yan. "After I got to know each other well, my judgment was correct as expected, but the object of my play was changed to a young man. At that time... I really looked down on you, relying on the power of the family to be lawless, everyone will become your palm ..."

Listening to his words, Qin Yan looked a little sad. "Then you are with me now, is it because I forced you to agree?"

"No." Chen Yin turned back again, holding Qin Yan's face with both hands: "Probably because I lack love, and you are too kind to me... Oh, I forgot that this hand just grabbed your dick. "

Qin Yan grabbed his hand and rubbed it on his face: "A few years ago, when I was in high school, I hurt someone, the kind of injury that can never be undone, and today I met him when I was picking up medicine in the hospital ..."

For Qin Yan, it is not appropriate to describe Meng Zhe as a white moonlight or a cinnabar mole.

In his fearful years of youth and ignorance, Meng Zhe was a stove in the cold winter and a guiding light on the way ahead when he was confused.

Of course there is a good impression. Meng Zhe has a bright mind and is more mature than many of his peers. He exudes a kind of easy-going and indifference that follows the clouds and clouds in the sky.The first time the two met was on the basketball court. In the basketball game of the whole grade, Qin Yan was a player on the court, and Meng Zhe was an audience in the audience.

He leaned his elbows on the railing behind him, and was joking with the girl beside him. The girl asked him about functions, the usage of the verb be, and what deoxyribonucleotides are... Although None of the girl's questions interested him, and out of gentleman's politeness and good manners, he still didn't answer impatiently.

The boy on the field bent his wrist, and fell into the basket in a graceful arc. Immediately, a girl who scored beside him shouted: "Three points!"

The tense muscle lines on his forearm look better than Michelangelo's David. His face suddenly froze in this direction for a few seconds, and the eyes of the two collided, as if something different was growing inside. .

The corner of Meng Zhe's lips curled into a smile, and when he left the stage, he came over with a bottle of chilled mineral water: "Are you from Class [-]? I'm from Class [-], Meng Zhe."

That generous gesture made Qin Yan feel a little nervous, and he wiped the sweat off his face pretending to be calm: "That Meng Zhe who is number one in the whole grade?"

Meng Zhe nodded with a smile: "If this makes you remember me, you can talk to me."

Subsequent interactions went very smoothly.On the second day they met, when eating popsicles together, Meng Zhe said, "I'm gay, are you?"

Qin Yan swallowed the popsicle in one gulp, and then coughed for a long time, the big cool lump stuck in his esophagus, unable to move up or down.After hesitating for a long time, he said, "How do you see that?"

"Intuition." Meng Zhe smiled.

At that time, Qin Yan's understanding of homosexuality was still very narrow, and he kept his sexual orientation secret, because the education he received since he was a child told him that it was abnormal and perverted.

He didn't want to be a pervert, and he didn't want others to treat him as a pervert. On the morning of the first dream of a male body, he cried out in fear, really cried out, crying out of despair, panic, and self-loathing It came out... He beat his head desperately, hoping to drive those messy things out of his mind, but it was useless... The more he was afraid, the more those things would appear in his mind, even when he was exercising, He began to avoid physical contact with other boys...

In high school, his symptoms had improved a lot, but he dared not tell anyone, he was afraid that those good friends who called him brothers would point at him and say, "Look, he's a pervert!" In his subconscious However, homosexuality is still an extremely ugly existence, so he fell into a deeper self-loathing that he couldn't extricate himself from, and the cycle went on and on...

The appearance of Meng Zhe undoubtedly gave him a glimmer of hope. This boy is excellent and handsome, and he is the object of praise from all the teachers and classmates, but now this seemingly very normal and excellent person tells him: "I am gay." That is Can't it be indirectly proved that homosexuality is not abnormal?Homosexuality is not a disease?

Qin Yan carefully cherished this friendship, and he finally found a fellow like him.

Although they have a good impression of each other, they have never done anything beyond friendship, and even have very little normal physical contact.Since getting acquainted with Meng Zhe, Qin Yan's academic performance has improved a lot, and his family is very happy. They think this classmate is very good, polite and strict.

Meng Zhe often went to Qin Yan's home to give him tutoring, and his study skills helped Qin Yan a lot.

After finishing his English homework that day, Meng Zhe sat on the window sill and stretched his waist. His clothes stretched upwards according to the changes in his movements, revealing a piece of fair skin around his waist.Qin Yan stretched out his hand to touch it in a strange way, Meng Zhe sat there stunned, the touch of fingertips and smooth skin made the two young boys a little fascinated, they gradually got closer, Qin Yan used his mouth Go and touch his lips lightly, the taste of a young boy.

When Qin Yijun appeared at the door, none of them paid attention to them. When he saw him, Qin Yan subconsciously took a step back, but before he could say any excuses, the fruit plate in Qin's father's hand had already been thrown towards them. :"brute!"

Meng Zhe put his foot on the edge of the window, and subconsciously dodged backwards. The excessive range of motion made him fall out all at once.

What happened afterwards is known without description. At that time, Meng Zhe's condition was very serious. Not only did he have a broken leg, he had problems with his lumbar spine, and he also suffered trauma to his head.Meng Zhe's parents were both intellectuals, and they didn't care about their demeanor at this time and cried for the Qin family to pay for their lives.

Meng Zhe was very calm after waking up, just staring blankly at his empty leg...

"I was very cowardly at the time, and I didn't even have the guts to come to the door to apologize, and everything after that was done by my mother."

Chen Yin touched his forehead lightly: "So then you started to debauch and degenerate in order to avenge your father?"

Qin Yan smiled self-deprecatingly: "I don't know, probably... This matter is not only my father's fault, I am also responsible."

When I saw Meng Zhe this morning, what he wanted to do the most was to find a place to hide. The debt was too heavy for him to bear, so he could only paralyze himself by escaping... But his hands and feet were not At his command, Meng Zhe said to have lunch at noon, and he went to eat with him. When Chen Yin called him, he subconsciously cut off the call. This kind of embarrassment full of guilt was because he was afraid of being seen. Especially Chen Yin...

Meng Zhe sat opposite him with a leisurely and indifferent attitude, just like when they first met, he also took care of his taste when ordering: "Sweet and sour pork ribs, I don't know if you have changed the taste."

Qin Yan shook his head, probably even if Meng Zhe asked him to eat shit now, he would swallow it without changing his expression.

"I'm fine now, my job is going well, my life is happy, and the people around me are very kind, and I won't be discriminated against..."

Qin Yan nodded nonchalantly. He actually didn't quite understand the purpose of Meng Zhe asking him to eat. They hadn't seen each other for many years. Of course, the incident would still hurt even after many years. If Meng Zhe asked him to injure himself now He also felt that the hatred in his heart was reasonable...

"Your mother remits me money every month. The amount is huge. At first I accepted it with peace of mind. I also felt that your family should live in darkness forever..." He glanced at Qin Yan, the skin on his face Fine white, good gloss. "But I'm very happy now. The money that comes in every month seems to remind me of the moment when I fell off the building. Qin Yan, I don't want to recall it every month again. You told your mother not to send any more money. "

Qin Yan has been sitting across from each other, he didn't know how to react at this time, Meng Zhe smiled and said: "Qin Yan, I always remember the moment when we two met for the first time, when you played basketball..."

Before the meal was over, Meng Zhe received a phone call, with a helpless and tolerant tone: "Didn't I tell you to have dinner with friends?...It's near the hospital...Okay, then come here..."

When the young boy came over, Qin Yan thought it was a high school student who had just finished school, he was wearing a tracksuit, his face was arrogant and domineering, and his eyes were full of hostility. "Hi, I'm Meng Zhe's boyfriend."

Meng Zhe looked back at him with a frown, as if he didn't quite agree with his statement.

The boy raised his hands in a gesture of surrender to him: "Okay, I won't speak."

When the two of them left the restaurant together, Qin Yan sat on the seat for a while and stared blankly until the waiter came over and said, "Sir, our business hours are up in the afternoon, do you want to pay the bill?"

"So you sat in the restaurant all afternoon?" Chen Yin asked, rubbing his head lightly. This was a soothing gesture, which really calmed Qin Yan's heart a lot.

"No, I came out of the hotel and went back to the old house to stand for a while, which is the house where Meng Zhe's accident happened."