non-absolute crush

Human feelings are a wonderful thing.There are many kinds of feelings, but Xia Xingchen believes that the most complicated one may be liking.

Others may think that these two words, this kind of emotion, are nothing complicated, just one person's affection for another person, which can be easily detected and understood.

But Xia Xingchen didn't think so.He felt that this kind of emotion was elusive, invisible, and secretly planted seeds in his heart so that he could not detect it.He didn't realize this emotion until after a long period of time, when the seeds broke through the ground and grew towering trees and bear fruit.

But when that time comes, the fruit has already been picked by others, and it is too late.

When some people find that they like another person, they can secretly fall in love with each other, and they also have the opportunity to express their emotions to the other person and eventually get married, just like Song Ran and Jiang Xun.And some people, when they find out that they like another person, don't even have the chance to sneak up and express their love, like Xia Xingchen.

This year is the third year of college graduation, and today is the wedding of Tan Wei and Xu Zitong.

Looking at the couple on the stage, Xia Xingchen shook the red wine glass in his hand, resting his chin and thinking: When did I fall in love with Tan Wei?

Is it the freshman year of high school?Xia Xingchen remembered that when he met Tan Wei for the first time, he was lazily hiding in the equipment room during military training with Jiang Xun.

At that time, Tan Wei and another boy came in through the door and threw him to the ground.At that time Tan Wei was quite heavy, Xia Xingchen was so overwhelmed by Tan Wei that he got up out of breath.

Tan Wei became obedient, and Xia Xingchen saw him in his entirety.To be honest, Xia Xingchen was very impressed with Tan Wei at that time.Because although Tan Wei is fat, he is handsome and very white. Besides, when Tan Wei fell on him, he seemed to smell a faint milk fragrance.

Xia Xingchen had seen a lot of fat people who looked fat in vain, but Xia Xingchen had only seen fat people who smelled like milk in his body among children under the age of ten.

When Tan Wei got up and didn't speak, he thought that this milky little fat man would cry as soon as he was cowardly. As a result, Tan Wei got up and said in a loud voice: "Fuck" "Hey!" Dude" and "Idiot", the contrast was so great that Xia Xingchen couldn't help but look at Tan Wei a few more times, and managed to remember his face and name.

After a long time of basketball and physical education classes together, Xia Xingchen found out that Tan Wei is a talkative guy, he can't stop talking for a moment, and he can answer no matter what other people say, and he answers it very well.He once thought that letting Tan Wei take a bag of sunflower seeds would allow him to chat with the aunt in the square all afternoon.But listening to Tan Wei chatting with others is very interesting, there are a lot of laughs, and it is easy to get lost in listening.

Probably not in freshman year of high school, Xia Xingchen has always hated chatter.

Is it the second year of high school?At that time, Xia Xingchen never expected that Song Ran, Tan Wei, Jiang Xun and himself were in the same class.

As witty as he is, he soon discovered that his good brother Jiang Xun had other plans for Tan Wei's good brother Song Ran. Jiang Xun, who was exposed, was very calm and abandoned Xia Xingchen, who had been at the same table for a long time, and sat with Song Ran. .

Xia Xingchen saw that Tan Wei was at the same table as him, thinking that he wouldn't be bored in and out of class this way.

Tan Wei did not make him bored, he could talk about it from morning to night all day long.

Seeing that Jiang Xun and Song Ran have newcomers and forget the old ones, Tan Wei also pulled Xia Xingchen to compare with them, to see who is better for each other.

Xia Xingchen thought it was quite boring. Boys should be more broad-minded, so there is no need to be jealous among friends.

But he himself didn't know why he agreed to Tan Wei without hesitation. After the two deliberately "intimate" for a while, Xia Xingchen felt a little tired, but he could still accept it and was not bored. will get tired of it.

But before he got bored, Tan Wei proposed not to continue because he fell in love with Xu Zitong.Tan Wei, who surrounded Xia Xingchen all day long, began to surround Xu Zitong.Xia Xingchen, who was used to having little bees beeping by her side, began to feel a little lost.

Seeing Tan Wei starting to surround Xu Zitong every day, Xia Xingchen felt uncomfortable all the time.Xu Zitong was in the same class as them in junior high school, and became a brother of the opposite sex after playing for a long time. Tan Wei was also a good brother he knew in high school.It turns out that good brothers do get jealous, he thought.

Just when Xia Xingchen's little accident was about to explode, Tan Wei asked them to go to Yunshang Park, and confessed to Xu Zitong, but was rejected.

Tan Wei was very sad at that time and drank a lot of wine, but Xia Xingchen was in a good mood.That night he took a lot of effort to drag Tan Wei back to the room, dragged back to the room, threw Tan Wei on the bed, and lay down on the bed with his eyes closed, not wanting to move.

The next morning, he found that he was sleeping with Tan Wei in his arms. Tan Wei was fleshy and soft to hold, like a human pillow.

That whole day, Xia Xingchen was in a happy mood.

In the second year of high school, my good friend Jiang Xun had Song Ran, Tan Wei went to find Xu Zitong, and Xia Xingchen was alone for a long time.

But Tan Wei was rejected, he restrained himself and stopped being around Xu Zitong all the time, and his new good brother came back, he was no longer alone, it was normal to be happy, it was just jealousy among friends, not liking, Xia Xingchen I think so.

When he was in the third year of high school, Tan Wei seemed to be a different person. His small mouth no longer babbled, and when he calmed down, he became thinner and more handsome.

When he went to participate in the physics competition and saw Tan Wei again after a week, Xia Xingchen was amazed at the first sight.

He didn't expect the little fat man to be so handsome after losing weight.After a week of hard training, I was very irritable at first, but when I saw Tan Wei, I felt relaxed and happy.

Jiang Xun felt that something was wrong at the time, so he made a side note to mention Xia Xingchen.

But Xia Xingchen thought, how is it possible?I'm not like you, my ex-girlfriend can be arranged from class one to class five.Isn't it bad for a girl with soft fragrant breasts, big butt and big ass?Why do you want boys with the same configuration?

At that time, it was the critical period when the competition was about to start, Xia Xingchen didn't have the time to think about it.As soon as he returned from the competition, it was the monthly exam for No. [-] Middle School. Xia Xingchen was so busy that he gradually forgot about it.

It wasn't until the end of the third year of high school that Tan Wei confessed to Xu Zitong again, and Xu Zitong agreed, and they hugged each other on the spot. Tan Wei was so excited that Xia Xingchen realized that his heart was hurting.Only then did he realize the emotion called "like" that had been buried for a long time but had not been noticed by him.

He realized that he didn't fall in love with him at a certain point in time, it started from the moment he met Tan Wei in high school.

The seeds were planted the day they met.Otherwise, Xia Xingchen, who hates chatterbox, would not listen to Tan Wei's babbling all day long; otherwise, Xia Xingchen, who has always been open-minded, would not be unhappy when Tan Wei is around Xu Zitong; otherwise, it would be difficult to control his mood all the time Xia Xingchen, who hasn't seen him for just a week, will not be so emotional when he sees Tan Wei...

The authorities were confused by the onlookers, Xia Xingchen, who could tell at a glance that Jiang Xun and Song Ran were wrong, couldn't see his long-awaited feelings for Tan Wei.

Xia Xingchen found it ridiculous and pathetic. He could see others clearly but not himself. When he realized everything, there was already someone beside Tan Wei. He didn't even have a chance to express his thoughts from the beginning to the end, so he could only swallow this in silence. The bitter fruit of his secret love.

After the results of the college entrance examination came out, Xia Xingchen knew that Tan Wei was going to apply to the Department of Economics of Tsinghua University, and he knew that he had no chance to say this.He originally wanted to enroll in schools in other provinces and cut himself off from Tan Weiyuan, but he found that he couldn't do it.

A few minutes before the deadline for volunteering, he logged into his account and changed his volunteering, applying to Peking University.He didn't want to get too close to Tan Wei for fear of losing control of his emotions, and he didn't want to be too far away from Tan Wei without seeing anyone for a year.

After four years of university and three years of graduation, Xia Xingchen still couldn't let go of Tan Wei.Tan Wei and Xu Zitong have a very good relationship, occasionally quarreled and quickly reconciled, never mentioned breaking up, and Xia Xingchen didn't have a chance to express their love.

……

Xia Xingchen pulled up the corners of his mouth and smiled bitterly, picked up the wine glass and toasted Tan Wei and Xu Zitong who were kissing amidst the cheers of the crowd, closed his eyes to hide the red eye sockets, and raised his head to drink the wine in the glass. Drank the red wine in one gulp: Since we are not destined, I wish you happiness.