hold a cigarette

20 Jin Shengyang

I hate being interrupted at work, especially if the person who interrupts me says something annoying on purpose.

I looked at the words that Li Mu sent during working hours, subconsciously recalled which pair of underwear I gave him before going out this morning, and then blocked him casually.

Originally, he just took two hours off to go home to unlock the lock, but he didn't come back until after get off work. I mercilessly recorded a sum for him in the office system.

There was a lot of traffic on the way home, which made me feel bad.

Answered two work calls, and the attitude of the response was a bit unfriendly.

I opened the window and turned on the radio to listen to the traffic.

In fact, I know why I am so angry, but I just don't want to admit it.

Now that I am angry and have nowhere to vent, I plan to go back to take a shower, change clothes, and go to the bar when I get home.

Haven't been there for a while.

These days I deliberately restrain myself, and I try my best to suppress all kinds of desires.

I restrained my desire to wear a cheongsam, and talked to the self in my heart over and over again, telling that self: He is dead, you don't have to be afraid.

I restrained my desire to go to that bar in a cheongsam, and every time I was about to move, I said to myself: It’s not just that place that can give you a sense of security, you can’t take any place as a safe haven.

For so many years, I have been avoiding, knowing that I am so weird, shameful and funny, but I have been unable to get out of the cover.

I thought about overcoming, thinking about changing, and I also know how disgusting I am now - a big man has to put on a woman's cheongsam at night to sleep peacefully.

Isn't this a pervert?

In the past few years, I have been unable to sleep peacefully at night, so I can only hide in the only cheongsam that can make me feel safe.

But now that he is dead, what am I still afraid of?

So I endured and forced myself to be a normal person.

It's so tiring.

I'm in a terrible mood and I'm giving myself a break tonight.

After driving for nearly an hour, I finally arrived at home. After I parked the car, I went down and went directly upstairs.

I never expected that Li Mu, who had been blocked by me and hadn't shown up all afternoon, was actually sitting in front of my house.

He was still wearing my clothes, and when he saw me coming out of the elevator, his face was full of surprise.

"You can be regarded as coming back." He supported the wall and stood up, "I'm hungry after waiting for you."

"What are you doing here?" I was very surprised, I never thought that Li Mu would come to my house.

"Why are you so unwelcoming? Didn't you have a good time last night?" He urged me, "Open the door quickly, I'm exhausted."

I stood still, determined to see what he was playing.

After confronting each other like this for a long time, Li Mu leaned against the door and sighed: "I really admire you."

He came over and wrapped his hands around my neck: "Are you competing with me? Or are you competing with yourself?"

I looked at him coldly, seeing myself in his dark brown pupils.

"It was pretty hot this morning, but now you turn your face and deny people." Li Mu said, "You also blocked my WeChat, you are really good."

I pulled him off me, bypassed him and opened the door into the house.

Li Mu followed closely, entered the room regardless, and lay down on my sofa.

He said, "Aren't you going to exchange terms with me? I've figured out what to do with you."

I had just changed my shoes and came over, seeing him lying there lazily, my heart grew even more angry.

"Say it." I responded to him angrily, "Go away after you finish speaking."

He sneered and didn't care about my bad attitude.

"I want to live with you," he said, "you can move to my house, or I can move to your house."

He smiled jokingly, and he was playing tricks on me on purpose.

I was annoyed by him, so I went over and grabbed his arm and pulled him up.

Li Mu didn't have time to put on his slippers, so I dragged him towards the door.

"Fuck, Jin Shengyang, are you some kind of inhuman bastard?" He cursed at me, and I threw him out of the house straight away in a rage.

Li Mu was still cursing outside when I closed the door, he was outside and I was inside.

Originally, I planned to change clothes and go to the bar later, but now I'm not in the mood.

Li Mu is a bastard, he lives to ruin my interest.

I sat on the shoe stool by the door and smoked. The people outside scolded me for a long time, and then there was no movement.

After about half an hour, the light in the room had already dimmed. I reckoned that Li Mu had already left, but I shamelessly hoped that he hadn't left yet.

I know that I am so contradictory and shameful, I despise myself, and I can't face myself.

When I got up to open the door, I actually didn't give any hope. I said to myself that the dog must have left after hitting a wall, but I didn't expect that when I opened the door, Li Mu was sitting in front of my house with a stern face. stare at me.

Like a ghost who came to kill.

"Yo, are you willing to open the door?" Li Mu sneered, "Are you a fucking split personality? Obviously you said it yourself, let me make whatever request you want, and I fucking made it, and you have this attitude."

"Why don't you go?" I looked down at him.

"I fucking want to go, give me back my shoes!"

Only then did I realize that Li Mu's shoes were still at home.

"Give me back the shoes, and I'll leave right away. Don't even try to catch up with me in your life."

He stood up and looked at me, his eyes became fierce.

I watched him for a while, and when he tried to squeeze into my house, he picked him up unexpectedly and led him into the house.

Li Mu was taken aback, this time I really angered him, he continued to scold me while struggling.

He is a grown man, it was not easy for me to lift him up, and he kept moving around, which made me confused.

After a few steps, we both fell down together.

Li Mu's head hit the foot of the sofa, and he shrank into a ball in pain. I also lay on the ground, and my knees hurt.

We are like two straw bags that accidentally fell, rolling around in this world on our own.

Unexpectedly, the four eyes met, and after a few seconds, he looked at me inexplicably and laughed.

"Jin Shengyang, you're an idiot."

I listened to him scolding me, the voice echoing in the already dark living room.

"Big idiot."

He was still cursing, endlessly.

"I'm fucking out of my mind to provoke you."

I listened to his babbling like Mrs. Xianglin, then leaned forward, squeezed his chin hard and kissed him.

Li Mu stopped scolding me, and stopped talking about anything.

He lay on the ground and kissed me, kissed and lay in my arms and laughed.

"What are you laughing at?" I asked him.

He licked my lips, eyes still shining in the dark.

He said, "You have fallen into my trap."

"You can't get enough of me," he said.