residual injury

On Wednesday, Su Shiqing's outpatient clinic day, it costs 30 yuan to register his account, which is a cardiothoracic surgery specialist outpatient account.

The assistant doctor pressed the calling device: "Jian Feng, please go to surgery clinic No. 3."

Su Shiqing's hands trembled, and the hot water just poured out of the thermos cup splashed a few drops onto the back of his hand.

No pain.

Put down the cup, wipe off the water droplets, and put on the mask.

"Director Su, this Jianfeng is so strange. It has been three weeks in a row. He has registered with you every week, and he is the first to come every week. According to his description, the pain is different every week, but he looks very energetic. , I don’t think he came to see the doctor sincerely, but rather to find fault.” said the assistant doctor.

There was a knock on the door, and a smiling innocent face squeezed in through the crack of the door: "Good morning, Doctor Su!"

The assistant physician hurriedly sat aside, watched Director Su turn on the computer, and said, "Medical card."

Director Su didn't need to look at the medical card at all, he just entered a series of numbers on the number keys, and simplified the medical records.

"It's uncomfortable there?" Su Shiqing stared at the computer, his tone was very calm, a normal conversation tone between a doctor and a patient.

"Doctor Su, I have insomnia, severe insomnia."

Su Shiqing didn't look at him, and said, "Re-register, neurology department on the third floor."

Jian Feng quickly covered his chest, pretending to be in pain: "No, no, Dr. Su, I still have chest tightness and shortness of breath."

Su Shi scanned the records of several medical visits in front of him. The first time he had a heartache, the second time he said he had a headache, and he didn't pay for the ECG and color Doppler ultrasound twice, so he's still hanging there.

Su Shiqing continued to prescribe prescriptions according to the disease, and said: "First, do a chest X-ray, take a film, pay the fee on the first floor, and check on the sixth floor."

Jian Feng nodded, and when he reached out to accept the medical card, he asked without thinking: "Are you still applying medicine to your leg?"

The assistant doctor looked at Director Su and then at the patient, the atmosphere was a little weird.

Su Shiqing pressed the caller, and today's second patient was already waiting at the door, so Jian Feng had to get up and go out.

At noon, the assistant doctor was eating in the cafeteria. Today, he came a little earlier, and there were not so many people. The nurses at the next table were chatting. The older nurse said, "The boy with long legs today is Jian Feng, right?"

The other answered: "No, the face hasn't changed much, you can recognize it at a glance. She looks like a celebrity, but her clothes are more mature."

"Hey, what do you think he's here for?"

"What can I do in the hospital, go to a concert? Of course it's to see a doctor."

The older nurse lowered her voice: "Let me tell you, he has the number of Director Su."

"Wow, God! If I were him, I would be embarrassed to see Director Su in my life."

The little nurse on the side looked confused, "Sister, who is Jian Feng you are talking about?"

"Oh, you only came to our hospital last year, you don't know, that Jian Feng..."

Assistant physician Li Chengze listened to it, remembered the first patient today, squeezed his ass to the nurse's desk, and asked, "Sister, the Jian Feng you are talking about, is our director an old acquaintance?"

"Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go." After the elderly nurse said something, the nurses picked up their trays and walked away.

Li Chengze was left muttering: Your nursing department is really busy, every time you are so busy you don’t want to talk to me.

Li Chengze just transferred to the No.1 civilian hospital a few years ago, and he hasn't fully integrated into the group yet. He usually hears some news about Director Su from the chatter of the nurses. Director Su is a legend in the hospital at a young age, and won City Excellent Physician Award", and the office pennants are even hung up endlessly, all of which are gifts from patients. They are either "magic swordsmen" or "Huatuo in the present age", and they are role models for many young doctors.

It's just that Dr. Su was promoted to director only at the end of last year. It is said that it is related to the vice president. Last year, the vice president was invited to drink long-term tea. The old director of surgery wrote the application report immediately, and Dr. Su was promoted to deputy director. Doctor, everyone used to call him Director Su.

There was no surgery scheduled on the outpatient day, and Su Shiqing rarely got off the morning shift. As soon as he arrived at the parking lot, he saw a man leaning beside the car from afar. Su Shiqing pressed the unlock button. The man looked up, and the moment he saw Su Shiqing, his eyes were full of smiles: " I waited for you a long time."

Su Shiqing subconsciously withdrew his fist and made a gesture of invitation, Jian Feng stepped aside, Su Shiqing opened the car door, Jian Feng pressed on the car door again, and closed the door.

"I'm sorry." Jian Feng said, "Brother, can you hear me say a few words?"

As the name suggests, Su Shiqing was cold and cheerless, with no expression on his face: "Please get out of the way."

The two confronted each other for a few seconds, Jian Feng looked at him very hurt, finally let go, took a step back, and watched Su Shiqing's car drive out of the parking lot.

Su Shiqing stepped on the gas pedal, and the security guard said to himself, "That's Dr. Su's car. Dr. Su usually drives very slowly. What's going on today? You're driving a rocket!"

Driving on the main road, Su Shiqing slowed down, his heart throbbing, his eyes staring ahead, his indifferent face just now was reflected in the rearview mirror, full of disappointment.

At three o'clock in the morning, Su Shiqing, who had been lying on the bed for several hours but could not fall asleep, got up and found alprazolam tablets in the medicine box. He knows that he can't rely on drugs, but he can't do it today. If he doesn't take medicine, he won't be able to go to the operating table at dawn.

Jian Feng, who also didn't sleep, was sitting on the balcony blowing the night breeze, enjoying the torment of loneliness and longing all by himself. He almost couldn't remember what it felt like to be in Su Shiqing's arms. Missing gnawed away.

Su Shiqing didn't smile again today, maybe he won't.

The TV in the living room is still playing a series, Jian Feng didn't pay attention to the content, he never pays attention to these, he is just afraid of loneliness, he likes the sound at home, the sound of the TV is the only thing that accompanies him the most in recent years.

The whistle of the 120 ambulance came from the TV. Jian Feng covered his ears, and waited for the sound to disappear before letting go of his hands and taking a long breath.

He didn't listen to the whistle, every time he heard it, his heart was stabbed with guilt.

Jian Feng got up and took a bottle of wine, 42 degrees, foreign wine.

After half a bottle of wine, the whole room was spinning, and Jian Feng saw the scene of their last meeting in a daze...

"Su Shiqing, we race motorcycles, and if you beat me, we won't break up."

"it is good."

Jian Feng planned to let him go early in the morning. He just wanted to find himself a step down. He didn't intend to really compare with Su Shiqing. He is a professional motorcycle racer who has received professional training, and Su Shiqing is just learning to ride a motorcycle. ordinary people.

Su Shiqing really wanted to win, and he pushed the accelerator to the maximum like crazy. Jian Feng started to get scared, he didn't dare to chase too closely, and shouted Su Shiqing's name in the wind, telling him that he had won, but Su Shiqing couldn't hear him.

He rushed to the finish line, the speed was too fast to stop the car, and the whole person and the motorcycle crashed into the roadside hillside.

In the ambulance, his legs were covered with blood. Jian Feng cried so much that his whole body trembled. He cried and said, "I will never mention breaking up again. We will never break up. I will always love you."

Su Shiqing was sweating from the pain. He looked at Jian Feng and wiped away the tears on his face. His voice was soft but firm, his eyes were gentle and cruel, and he said, "Jian Feng, let's break up."

At six o'clock in the morning, the alarm clock rang. Su Shiqing opened his eyes. Fortunately, he was able to wake up.

As soon as he arrived downstairs, he saw another car parked next to his car from a distance. It was a very ordinary black Audi. The focus was on the person standing beside the car, Jian Feng.

Jian Feng's hair was messy, he was wearing a simple white T-shirt, black trousers, and he was carrying a food box in his hand. When he saw Su Shiqing coming out, he immediately stood up and went up to him, and said, "Brother, I brought you breakfast."

Su Shiqing walked straight past him, nodded to him, polite and alienated: "Thank you, doctors can't accept patients with one needle and one thread, one meter of water."

"Su Shiqing," Jian Feng shouted behind him, "I knew I was wrong two years ago, and I regretted it, but I didn't dare to come to you. You are right. You have no obligation to wait for me to grow up. In the past two years, I Try to get rid of the bad habits of the past, just to stand in front of you better, Su Shiqing, can you look back at me?"

Su Shiqing closed the car door, fastened his seat belt, and started the car away from Jian Feng's sight.

There was mist in front of Jian Feng's eyes, and he muttered to himself: "Actually, I have many ways to get close to you. I can stab myself, or get out of the car and hurt myself, so that I can see you every day in the hospital, but then It's too naive, you don't like it, I can't do it, Su Shiqing, what do I have to do to make you look back at me..."

Su Shiqing had been busy with two surgeries all morning, and when he got off the operating table, he was almost exhausted. The roving nurse quickly poured him a glass of glucose, "Director, are you okay? Do you need to rest for a while? Please help me, the old director." Let's have an operation, your face is really ugly."

"No need." Su Shiqing drank the glucose water and took off his protective clothing. The clothes inside were so wet that water could be squeezed out. "The director is not in good health. I'll take a 10-minute rest and call me when I'm ready."

The nurse put a set of dry clothes beside him, and left the office with a sigh.

It was only when I got off work that I found out that on Mid-Autumn Festival today, the hospital distributed two single-package mooncakes to everyone. Li Chengze kept two for Su Shiqing, took out two more from his pocket, and said mysteriously, "Director, look, snowy mooncakes." , the kid in the ward insisted on giving it to me, I don’t count it as bribery, I gave him two lollipops in return, I haven’t eaten ice skin yet, I’ll give you one!”

Su Shiqing stared at the glutinous and crystal-clear mooncake, "Eat it by yourself, I don't like sweet ones."

"Director, today's Mid-Autumn Festival, don't you want any of it? It's the festival!"

Su Shiqing waved his hand, feeling dizzy for a while.

It was the Mid-Autumn Festival again. Su Shiqing came out of the hospital and looked up at the moon. It was round and big, like it every year.

Before reaching the parking lot, I saw Jian Feng for the second time today. Without saying anything, Jian Feng handed him the box in his hand and stuffed it stubbornly into his hand. Su Shiqing took it and walked to the trash can beside him. He opened the box in front of him, and dumped the mooncakes and the ice cubes in the box out of the trash can.

"This is the snowy mooncake I made myself, not that sweet." Jian Feng squatted next to the trash can to pick up the mooncake, unpacked it and put it in his mouth, "Let me eat it for you, it's really not sweet, and it's not too sweet." Not hard..."

All of Su Shiqing's tenacity and patience collapsed in an instant, and he snatched the mooncake from Jian Feng's hand, his hands trembling violently, "Jian Feng, don't go crazy, and don't bother me, if you want to abuse yourself, you can do whatever you want, as long as you are not here Where I can see it."

Jian Feng sat on the ground, pulled up his trouser legs, pointed to the tattoo on his leg and said, "Do you remember this?"

There, there should have been a long scar, but now the scar is covered by a tattoo, and an electrocardiogram fluctuating line that matches the scar.

"This is the frequency of my heartbeat when I fell in love with you." Jian Feng pointed to the ECG fluctuating line tattoo on his leg and said.

Su Shiqing met Jian Feng's eyes, there was no moon in Jian Feng's eyes, only Su Shiqing.

If only time could go back.

The author says:

(Reminiscences in the next chapter)

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