dust and ash

crash like me

I'm not a bad person, am I?Why do I have bad intentions towards Su Chengcheng?

This is not right, and I am also puzzled.He is not the kind of person with a face like a crown and eyes like a bright star. Logically speaking, that kind of talent is more attractive to me.

Su Chengcheng is like a cat or a dog beside Gu Tingyu.

Occasionally ask me out, and I will meet when I am interested.He has no emotions, and he won't take the initiative to talk to me if I don't talk.But the more he is like this, the more I want to ravage him.

Once, in bed, I couldn't bear it.

"I'm not talking about you. If you don't want to, you can resist."

He blinked a few times.

"Do you know how to resist?"

Still he said nothing.What's the difference between this and a toy?I'm in a state of collapse, half excited, half disappointed, I can't be cruel, and I can't be gentle.

"You're really boring like this, don't you know?"

"If you have any dissatisfaction, you can tell me."

"What are you doing like this? Look at yourself," I pulled him in front of the mirror, he sucked and hung his head.

After waiting for a long time, I found that he was crying, so I lent him a shoulder to lean on.

He was out of control, making use of the topic, and tears poured down like a flood.

Two big men, naked, stood in front of the mirror, but the picture was a bit bleak.I suddenly figured out one thing, Su Chengcheng is not Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, nor can he be said to be hiding something, but one thing is for sure, the way I get along with him is not correct.

I figured this out myself, am I easy?

Performance Art

I took Su Chengcheng as a test subject and studied him in different ways.

Once the four of us went on vacation to the Maldives, and Ji An was on the other bed, whining and whining at Gu Tingyu, being coquettish.

I was also very excited because Su Chengcheng agreed to play performance art with me.

What we play is very simple, just look at each other all night, at least for no less than an hour, and at most for no more than three hours.

It was quite embarrassing at first, neither Zhuo Minhao nor I have played this before.

The hardest part is the first half hour.I couldn't believe it, Su Chengcheng just looked at me so quietly, staring at me made my scalp tingle.I am actually shy in front of a person who is extremely shy. Does this count as being close to vermilion and red, and close to ink to be black?

Half an hour later, I started itching all over my body.

I finally couldn't help but whispered: "Su Chengcheng, I want to know you better. What do you like? Let me guess."

"Uh, black stuff, and gray."

"A dark corner, a street at night, a place without light?"

"A quiet library, by the way, there is also an aquarium. If you can, you should want to live under the sea."

Su Chengcheng was amused by me, the kind of laughter that I wanted to laugh but had to hold back, it was the first time I saw him like this, it was so charming.

Does this count as a successful experiment?Unsuccessful, it can be regarded as progress.

Change job

The money has been scraped together, and the passport and visa have been completed.

During those days, the relationship between Ji An and Gu Tingyu became more and more intense, and his thoughts were not on me at all.

I proposed to take him abroad together, but because he was angry with Gu Tingyu, he agreed.

It's the first time I came to Vail, everything is quite new.He also neglected Ji An, making him feel the loneliness of leaving his hometown and making his home all over the world.

Three weeks later, he returned to the country alone, and our relationship was nowhere to be found.

In fact, I can't stay for half a year, I miss Zhuo Minhao, I miss Su Chengcheng, I will be lonely too.

But Zhuo Minhao is not mine, nor is Su Chengcheng, my heart is still wandering.