dust and ash

Wretched man

It just so unfortunate that these three people are the three people I fear the most.

Most of the customers at Vill Bar are Chinese and tourists, and I used to learn English the hard way for a fucking thing.Of course, it has no effect, we are not that material.

It's a long story, but in short, I met someone who was not quite right.

In our day, pen pals were popular.At that time, mobile phones were rare, but letters were frequent.When I was in high school, I made an American pen pal by accident, purely because he was learning Chinese. (He probably wouldn’t have read this article, dude, I’m offended so much) He taught English in a middle school in another city. Once during a holiday, he said he wanted to meet me, so he brought a group of his American friends.

There are men and women among my friends, I don't know that they are all gay.That night I stayed at a friend's house. Some people laid the floor in the living room, and some crowded the room.A guy, older than me, I don't know how much, asked to sleep with me.Of course I didn't agree. I said I wanted to sleep with my American pen pal. After all, I knew him well and could trust him.

The matter started from discussing the problem of who sleeps with whom. On the surface, it is really as simple as sleeping. In fact, it is conceivable that it is a pairing.I really didn't think about one-night stands at the time, thinking that I was just a soy saucer.

Unexpectedly, that wretched man stretched out his hand to me while no one was looking.I was only young at that time, and I didn’t understand anything when I was a teenager. I didn’t dare to speak, I didn’t dare to scream, and I didn’t even dare to move.My English is so bad that I didn't even say a few words all night.But my pen pal, who is quite interesting, refuses to sleep on the bed. He wants me to sleep on the bed and he sleeps on the floor.The floor was cold, so naturally I couldn't sleep all night. At dawn, I still pulled him into bed.For that matter, I was quite impressed with him.

The next day, we went to dinner together.The wretched man pulled me onto him and asked me to sit next to him.I stood up immediately and retreated behind my pen pal.The pen pal finally realized that something was wrong, and foolishly apologized for him.After dinner, a few of us took a taxi and went our separate ways.So unfortunately, the wretched man and I were the last two to get off the bus, and we rode together for a while.

He turned to kiss me without hesitation, and I struggled desperately to push him away.His expression became particularly weird, and he began to call me Bichi rudely.I'm a man, and it's the first time in my life that someone scolds me as a bitch.I widened my eyes and listened to him scolding all the way. What I could understand was that he said that I was unhappy.I don't know if it has something to do with cultural differences, and I don't think I've done anything outrageous and should be scolded for it.

Finally, he got out of the car with a red face and slammed the door behind him.

Isn't it just that he didn't touch it, as for?

Like a child who did something wrong, I returned home with a heavy heart, feeling very uncomfortable.

Isaac doesn't look like a sleazy guy, but he's too active and speaks Dutch, which I don't understand.

I am afraid, I am afraid.

Not yet?

Pedophilia

The boy who haunted me reminded me of an old incident.

I dare not tell my parents about that matter, I dare not tell anyone, adults or children, who will people believe?Anyway, I don't think anyone will believe me.

I have an uncle, I call him Uncle, who is ten years older than me, and is the newlywed husband of one of my cousins.From elementary school to high school, and even college, every time he saw me, he always smiled lewdly and called me "Yizhi".

At first I thought it was a delusion, until one year during the Spring Festival, my cousin brought him to my house to pay New Year's greetings, and I confirmed it.

I will never forget that afternoon.

My parents and my cousin were eating melon seeds downstairs, and my uncle followed me when I went upstairs to go back to my room.Silently, he followed me into the room and closed the door behind him.I turned around and saw that something was wrong with his expression.

I said, "Uncle, what's the matter?"

He looked around for a while and said, "Is this your room?"

I nodded.

He walked towards me slowly until he cornered me on the desk.I looked at him with some panic, but the corner of his mouth still had that unexplained smile.

We didn't say anything after that, he looked at me for a long time, then suddenly put his hand around my back and grabbed my butt.

I almost cried out in fright, but I didn't dare, I was afraid of being discovered and adults would scold me.I don't know if it's a child's mentality, thinking that everything is my fault.If I make mistakes, I will be punished. My mother often beats me, not really, but to scare people.Said that if I behaved she would sell me or leave me in the woods to be picked up by wolves.

I was terrified, and later realized how useless I was.

I don't know how long it took, as if time was frozen, someone knocked on the door from outside, and before I opened it, he came in by himself, it was my mother.Of course she didn't see anything, and when my uncle explained that he wanted to ask about my homework, she didn't bother to ask.

Since then, I have always been on guard against my uncle, and I rarely went home after living in school, and I also went to other cities to study in university.

Perhaps because of the shadow left by this incident, I am afraid when I see children, afraid that they will think I will do something outrageous to them.

Probably because of this incident, I tried to change myself. Only by making myself stronger can I not be bullied by others.

lover

Let's continue writing in the next chapter.oops.I have a meal.