The burden of true and false idols

What is the so-called redemption?

Luo Jun thought that it was to judge himself and to stay away from Yu Mi.One day, he will exhaust Yu Mi's expectation and exhaust Yu Mi's affection for him.

He was so lonely.So lonely, he clearly felt his malice.The devil robbed him of his breath, making his chest heave and conspiratorial.

He is dirty and world-weary, cold and paranoid.Occasionally pampering himself, he used the most despicable means to tarnish the relationship between him and Yu Mi.

So what?

Painful.As Oscar Wilde said, "Pain, unlike pleasure, is maskless."

He was heartbroken and wept bitterly.He hopes that one day, he can stay away from the pain of being dominated by love, family, and friendship, and he is willing to become unreasonable.

Sometimes he feels like a bird in a cage.He really yearns for freedom so much, so he cares too much about every move of the people around him.

Excessive sensitivity made him vulnerable.He loathed himself deeply, felt like a stupid, slutty piece of shit.

But people, when they are most afraid of something, they often become something.

He felt rejected, a lonely drifter.But Yu Mi, damn Yu Mi, came to harass him.

At the age of five, he had nothing left. He watched his father's back disappear and his mother's blood spread and stained the carpet red.He fell and sat in the blood, his hands and face were dirty.

His little Yu Mi stubbornly came to grab his hand, wiped away his tears vigorously, and hugged him tightly with her small arms.

Even now, he has become like this, the lunatic that Chen Ling said.Yu Mi was willing to give him a piece of candy.

Each of us is a driftwood swinging on the sea.Occasionally our thoughts change with the wind and waves, and Luo Jun does not always want to do bad things.

He also wants to get better.He wanted to be clean and decent.

When he left Yu Mi, he gave up polluting Yu Mi.He didn't mind if Chen Ling was led astray by him, he was already a lunatic.But he couldn't bear it, he couldn't bear to let his little Yumi become like him.He is well aware of his own pain, so he is absolutely unwilling to make Yu Mi suffer such loneliness and pain.

Love, Luo Jun dare not want it.Hate is good, he is good at bearing hatred, even though the emotion is as sharp as a knife, but he is covered with knives, what is he afraid of?

There was a thumping sound on the road, like footsteps.Luo Jun curled his mouth: Look, it's the devil, it's come to grab my soul.

I will have the final judgment.

But it doesn't want to succeed easily.I have the only redeeming power upon which to live: I have none, with the ruins left behind.

"Fuck you!" Someone punched him in the jaw.

Luo Jun cried out in pain and opened his eyes suddenly.He froze in place, seemingly numb from the excruciating pain.

Not the devil.It's Yu Mi!

Yu Mi was furious, even his eyes were burning with anger, and with the anger that would crush him to ashes, he clenched his fist again and slammed at him.

The raindrops of fists fell on his eye sockets, cheeks, abdomen... Yu Mi hit hard, almost wanting to smash his bones to pieces.

Luo Jun was slammed to the ground by his fist, his chin rubbed against the gravel, and he looked blankly at Yu Mi above.

Behind the young man was the dark sky, and the broken river lamp was lingering and flickering in the distance. His expression was agitated, his breath was short of breath, and he was staring at him from top to bottom.

Luo Jun moved his lips: "Why are you here?"

Yu Mi was so tired that she was sweating profusely, she collapsed and fell beside him, lying on the sand like him.

He gasped heavily, staring straight up: "You stole my girlfriend, don't you apologize?"

Luo Jun was taken aback, and he slowly turned his head.

Yu Mi also turned her head sideways and looked at him, with no emotion in her eyes.

Luo Jun held his breath, and jumped out word by word: "Do you want me to compensate you?"

"Are you going to pay yourself?" Yu Mi said angrily.

Luo Jun's nose was so sore that he let out an "ah" and turned his eyes: "Yes."

Yu Mi said: "I don't want it. I like women."

Luo Jun's emotions were all broken up by him, and the gloom just now disintegrated into a pan of sand, and he couldn't get together no matter what.He talked to Yu Mi almost instinctively: "You came here to find me?"

But Yu Mi calmed down, her voice was very soft: "Yes. I have been looking for you for a whole day."

Luo Jun said in a low voice: "I don't like Chen Ling. I was with her on purpose."

"I know." Yu Mi replied.

"So," Luo Jun suddenly propped himself up on his elbows and approached Yu Mi, "You don't hate me?"

Yu Mi raised her eyes to look at him, clearly seeing the almost pleading desire in his eyes.

"Hate." He said heavily.

Luo Jun loosened his elbows, almost unable to hold on anymore, a tingling numbness spread from his elbows.He felt a puff of thick smoke hit his head and face, choking him terribly, but he couldn't make a sound from his throat.

"I fucking hate you, I hate you for not treating me as a brother."

Luo Jun's heart sank heavily, and he looked at him in astonishment.

Yu Mi hit the ground with a fist, and said bitterly: "Who do you think you are? Why do you say that to me? 'Because Yu Mi, you don't deserve anything', fuck it, I want whatever I want What!"

Luo Jun took a deep breath, sat up, turned his back to Yu Mi, and asked, "So, do you want..."

Yu Mi interrupted him: "I choose you! I want you! Do you understand? I don't choose Chen Ling, I choose you!"

Luo Jun was stunned for a while.After Yu Mi beat him fiercely and yelled at him maniacally, both of them fell silent, and the atmosphere became weird.

It was Luo Jun who broke the atmosphere. He seemed to have suddenly remembered something, and said slowly: "Do you remember the oasis we went to when we were young?"

Yu Mi showed a puzzled look, and he said carelessly, "What is it?"

Luo Jun felt that the sound of water was too clear in his ears, and his heart seemed to flow away with the water, empty and empty, even the little warmth that had just been gathered was exhausted.

In the darkness, both of them couldn't find it. Luo Jun's face lost all color, and his lips were shockingly white.His thin lips opened and closed, his voice was as soft as a butterfly flapping its wings, extremely fragile:

"When I was young, you took me to the old city to play. There is an oasis in this place. We..."

Yu Mi listened quietly and listened to his lonely sentences.

After Luo Jun finished speaking, Yu Mi remained silent.He looked at the water under the bridge, the black flowing water, as if his own life had been washed away.

At the last moment of despair, the current was switched on, and a pleasant voice rang in my ears.

"I remember." Yu Mi said, "I remember everything."

Luo Jun suddenly turned to look at him.

Yu Mi also looked at him, and said seriously: "Really. It's just that I don't call it an oasis. Otherwise, how do you think I found this place?"

At this moment, Luo Jun felt a little sour.

Yu Mi was still looking at him, his eyes seemed to be shining with light in the darkness, his voice became soft, just like when he carefully showed him the doll he bought for Chen Ling that night.

No, not so much.If he had been like a firefly in the forest then, he is now like a distant flame in the sky.

"One winter, we went there to play, and there was a bird that froze to death in the bushes. We were very sad at the time. It was a newborn bird that died before it even had its feathers."

"You said we buried it and let it rest in peace. We dug the soil and dug a small hole. You were a little scared at the time. I put the bird's body in it."

Yu Mi blinked slightly, and looked at Luo Jun calmly: "We have dug a grave for the little bird. On the small soil bag, I erected a monument for it with flat stones. I don't know how to write on the tomb. It was you who wrote 'a little bird's grave' stroke by stroke."

"Do you remember, what else did we do?" Yu Mi asked him.

Luo Jun bit his lip, at that moment he felt a little scared, he wanted to shake his head, trying to use the dark sky to hide his emotions.

But Yu Mi didn't take the dark night seriously, he said with certainty: "You remember."

Luo Jun's shoulders began to tremble slightly, his heart seemed to be frozen, it was surprisingly cold, trembling along with his shoulders.

Yu Mi stretched out her hand and held it in front of his eyes.

Luo Jun took a deep breath and didn't dare to touch it.Yu Mi grabbed his hand suddenly, held it tightly, and looked at him.

The temperature of that hand was scalding.The boy finally whimpered, like the sound of a glass bottle hitting the wall, the sound of a broken heart: "I inserted two reeds obliquely on the small soil bag, that is, that is..."

Yu Mi thoughtfully finished for him: "It's so small, it can't fly yet. Say it, it's the wings for a bird."

Luo Jun's heart ached. Under the bridge hole, he seemed to be hiding very well, but Yu Mi found him so quickly, just like his heart.

It turned out that he once had such clean and pure feelings.He wasn't the cold, shameless bastard his father said he was.

Luo Jun showed a dazed expression: "Actually, I'm not that bad."

After finishing speaking, he felt remorse again, what a ridiculous thing to say, he obviously did that to Yu Mi, so he added a sentence: "No."

Luo Jun straightened his expression, and showed that indifferent expression again: "After all, I am not only a few years old."

He turned around, trying to wipe the cold sweat off his forehead, but just as he turned his head, Yu Mi grabbed him.

Yu Mi hugged his shoulders vigorously, turned him around, and then Luo Jun felt a soft thing plugging his lips.

Luo Jun forgot to breathe for a moment.The electric current rushed through his whole body, making his bones crack, as if the earth was shaking, destroying the bones.

He couldn't say anything, he couldn't move his feet at all, he couldn't move at all—

Yu Mi kissed him.

Yu Mi's arms tightened little by little, and held him firmly, before she moved her lips.

"I have no desire/desire for you." Yu Mi's first sentence was like this.

Luo Jun's heart was both cold and hot, he almost melted.He moved his body, but was hugged tightly by Yu Mi again.

"But I love you."

There was a bang in Luo Jun's ears, and the blood in his whole body seemed to flow backwards. He raised his head in embarrassment: "What do you mean?"

Yu Mi looked at him, those eyes were calm and full of strength, Luo Jun had never felt like this moment: Yu Mi has grown up.

Yu Mi said, "I don't know what to say."

A row of lights suddenly lit up on the other side of the river, as if the broken route had been repaired.

Yu Mi's voice reached Luo Jun's ears firmly: "But I kiss you because I care about you."

Yu Mi looked at the young man in front of him with a very calm gaze.

Human joys and sorrows are not connected.I can't share your pain in a far away place where I can't see you.

Sometimes even in front of our eyes, face to face, and speaking the truth with our mouths, we cannot inject power into each other's hearts.

I'm really panicking and I'm worried that there's nothing I can do to let you know you're not alone.

Fortunately, there are still limbs.This body is used to carry the soul, and it should be used to its full potential.Words have no warmth, but skin and breath do.

So I come to you, I come to hug you, I come to kiss you.I hope my kiss can make you feel my mood:

"I don't want you to feel alone."

Intense pain flashed in Luo Jun's eyes. He felt incomprehensible, confused, and deeply... redeemed.

He asked Yu Mi: "Is it that kind of love?"

Yu Mi said: "There is no desire/desire, I only want the kind of love that you are not alone."

Luo Jun looked at him.

But Yu Mi laughed a little, opened her hands, and said to him: "There are no more reeds. These are my wings. I can borrow you to fly as long as you want. But as long as your wings grow out, you must give them back to me. Because of me, I have to protect the girl I like."

Luo Jun hugged him and gently rested his head on his shoulder.

"Then, don't you need to protect Chen Ling now?"

Yu Mi sighed in her heart: I know how much you need me.So he whispered in Luo Jun's ear, "This time, I choose to protect you."

On this desolate land, a flourishing spring was finally born again, large swaths of flowers bloomed in full bloom, shrubs squeezed into a pile, and vines entangled, exuding a fragrant scent of vegetation.The trees are tall and grow together with the lush green grass, which shades the sky.

Two teenagers holding hands playing hide and seek.

At first they turned their backs to each other, and no one could find the other. When the reed leaves on the oasis touched their fingertips and filled the gap, they realized: Oh, we are always together.

The dark side can never deprive us of our soul as long as we do not surrender to our solitude.

I know what a terrible emotion loneliness is, and I also know that the human condition is loneliness.But despite being riddled with holes, my innocent heart never repented, and I still believed that love was in the not-too-distant future.

I would like to dedicate this film to every lonely day and night.Or cry, or be silent.in anticipation.

The author has something to say: This movie is over.My personal emotions were revealed too much, and the story was too unrestrained and failed, but it was cool.So be it, I hope Luo Jun and Yu Mi can bravely fight against loneliness.Next, it will be Xiao Fu and Xu Wang's sand sculpture love session.