ashamed

His father's hands trembled, whether it was from emotion or aftershocks from overexertion.

Tong Youming stood there, his body was trembling and he forgot any reaction, the soles of his feet were covered with splashed glass shards, a large wet mark appeared on the surface of his clothes soaked in water, and the hot smoke dissipated in the blink of an eye.

He woke up like a dream, turned around and ran to the bathroom, turned the cold water to the maximum to rinse his red hands, the initial feeling made him grit his teeth.His hands are meant to save people, and he always remembers them, even if he can't remember anything now.

My father's roar echoed throughout the room, in my head.

"I saw you and that man at the entrance of the hospital...I don't even want to say you...this kind of violation of human relations...is simply a pervert!" He yelled loudly, "I feel ashamed for you!"

"Your mother and I didn't believe it at first... We tried every means to lead you to the right path, but what about you? What did you do?!"

"You have learned to speak nonsense with your eyes open, are you crazy because of that man! Ah?!"

"...It's extremely disgusting." He trembled his lips, as if he had suffered a great humiliation, "You still have the face to come back..."

Tong Youming turned off the tap.

The light above his head was still the soft white that had touched him before. He couldn't see his face in the full-length mirror, and his hands were spread out above the pool.

He suddenly desperately hoped that there would be someone by his side, someone he could rely on and be a supportive companion, and he soon found that he was like a wanderer living in isolation, those happy harbors and solid arms were just ridiculous daydreams .

The father behind him stopped talking, and his mother just looked at him a few steps away, whether it was pity or disgust, the eyes had the same irony, which made Tong Youming dare not look up.

——Until he walked directly to the door of the house, put on his shoes and opened the door and walked into the wind and snow without hesitation, he didn't even have the courage to look up.

Because he was afraid of the gaze he met, as if he was looking at a passerby who was neither relative nor familiar.

He closed his eyes the moment the feathery snowflakes fell on his face, his cheeks were hot and swollen, the wind passed through his body, and the biting cold was not as good as he felt at this moment.

It's hard to describe.

Before he found a suitable expression, he could only keep walking forward. It would be more appropriate to say "escape". He was as embarrassed as an uninvited guest who strayed into someone else's territory. He walked slowly, but he did not hesitate.

At last he felt cold, and he felt a thick layer of snow on his arm wrapped in two layers of single clothes, so he stopped walking and found a small shop by the roadside that had been closed and stood under the eaves. with.

The snowy night sky was dark red, and the white catkins were blown away by the car and fell to the ground.

He found that his father's voice was still in his ears, and he couldn't dissipate it. He took out the only mobile phone in his pocket, and the battery was still [-]%.

He wanted to laugh a little, the kind of ridicule that would be produced when he saw stupid and stupid things, he couldn't distinguish between good and evil, so he just smiled.

Then he dialed Si Jun's number with his blue fingers.

Red lanterns symbolizing the New Year are hung on the side of the road, bright and festive in the night.

"Hello, Tongtong."

The phone rang twice and then got connected. He opened his mouth for the first time but couldn't say anything. He squatted down and moved two steps into the corner sheltered from the wind under the eaves. He looked down and saw the dirty black snow on the sides of his shoes. .

"what happened to you?"

There was also the voice of Si Jun's father calling him, but he stopped him with hiss, and moved closer to the receiver, as if he was keenly aware of something unusual. "Where are you?"

"……I."

He spoke several times, his voice was so weak that he only breathed, "I miss you."

After saying these three words, tears rolled down his cheeks without any warning, which made him feel unreasonable.

Before I met you, I never thought that one day I would be defeated by these three words.

And for things that we can never expect, we have to get used to being disappointed.

——But after I was convinced of the fact that "they may not love me very much", I couldn't help but feel sad.

"..."

Si Jun stood up suddenly from the wooden chair, and his knee touched the table leg, which startled his father.But contrary to his panicked movements, his voice represented the peace of things not out of the situation, "Well, do you want to see me now?"

While speaking, he made several gestures with the old man behind him, grabbed the coat hanging on the hanger, opened the door and was about to go out, the old man hurriedly followed him and whispered, "There is a taxi at the second intersection...!"

Si Jun nodded at him, and said, "You can find a place that is not so cold and wait for me for a while, okay?"

The snow outside was falling faster than when he came here. From this posture, one could imagine the whole city covered in snow when he went out tomorrow morning, but he didn't expect it. He changed from walking to running, and large fluffy snow was covered He stepped out of the widely spaced pits, and the trousers were immediately wet.

"Okay." There was a subdued sound on the other end of the receiver, and Tong Youming seemed to smile very lightly. "Anything is fine."

"You'll come, won't you?"

Si Jun saw what his father said was a row of taxis parked at the intersection, he went to the front one and knocked on the door to give his address.

When the driver said listlessly that the journey was too far and refused to take the car, he didn't let go of his hand holding the car door.

After a moment of stalemate, he bent down and stuffed a few banknotes into the breast pocket of the bewildered driver, and closed the door.

"I will."

I know you will come.

I don't need temptation, I don't need proof, I don't need those tiresome trivial emotions to make useless laying out, like firmly believing in some small oath that goes straight to the bottom of my heart, every word you said, every word, every unspeakable Sigh softly, they are the bits and pieces of my final defense.I know, I know as clearly as I can say your name silently when I am about to die, that you will come.

So I will wait.

——Si Jun got off the car on the main road in front of Tong Youming's house. There were three streets on one side of the road, one of which forked into two small roads, and he searched for them one by one.The mobile phone has been automatically turned off a long time ago, and there is not even a street light in the back alley. After finding the second road, he stopped, and he could only hear his own panting. All he could see was white snow, and his face in the night. similar buildings.His back was soaked with sweat, and his exposed hands and face were painfully scratched by the snow. He turned into the path on the right hand side, and finally saw the person huddled in the corner, with steps all over him. A thick layer of snow has accumulated on the ground.

Si Jun picked him up, took off his own clothes and put them on for him. He couldn't even stand up straight, and hugged him like a drowning man grabbing a rescuer, almost losing his mind.

You came.