ashamed

He likes to do two things at once. For example, when I was tying his tie, he kept his hands free to touch my face while talking on the phone.

If I dodged, his hand would chase after me again, and he would not stop until he reached his goal. He pressed his thumb on my lips and fiddled with it softly. I didn't find it annoying after repeating this several times.

"Ah, that's right... what's next?"

He was still holding the phone, but he wanted to bow his head and kiss me.I didn't dare to make a sound, I just closed my eyes, and saw his slanted and approaching face through a narrowed gap, with a little bit of an arrogant smile flying from the corner of my eyes.

This person was too much, he pressed his face tightly and answered the phone with a "um, um", his breath was warm and scorching.My hands were trembling a little, and I finally pushed the tied knot to the proper position, but I saw him licking the corner of his mouth with the tip of his tongue as if he had stolen some snack, and smiling at me without blinking his eyes.

I made him feel ashamed, and fled to the bedroom in a hurry, and called the nanny who took care of the children.

"You're very obedient... Well, I'm going to take a lunch break now..."

I said, "Excuse me, we may come back later, if you need milk powder or something, call me in advance, I will buy it and take it with you."

"well."

"Where's my dad?"

"Uncle Si is coaxing my sister to sleep. Do you want him to answer the phone?"

"Ah, then there's no need, let him rest for a while, it's really troublesome to you."

"Oh, it doesn't matter, Doctor Tong, both siblings are very well-behaved, so it doesn't bother you."

"Well, let's go out then, goodbye."

I heard Si Jun come up behind me and put something in the drawer. I hung up the phone, knowing that he was ready, so I picked up the things I bought in advance, went out with him, and drove home.

In the year after graduation, I only went home once, and it was by myself.Si Jun knew my parents' attitude, but he still had good expectations. I refused to let him accompany me for the first time when I went back, mainly because I was worried that my father would do something radical. Although he didn't seem to need me to worry, I always There is this hidden worry.

Fortunately, they were finally willing to make concessions and let me go home; when I summoned up the courage to tell them that my baby with Si Jun was about to be born, I have never seen that expression on their faces.

My mother asked me, how do you... have children?

I have answered this question many times, so it is not too difficult to explain.I said, with the current scientific level, this is not difficult.The two of them go to the hospital for an examination first, and if they are successfully matched in the egg bank, they can find a surrogate mother, and they can also get their own child.Mine is a boy and his is a girl, due next month.

This was followed by another unbearable silence.But I am not timid in my heart, no matter what the sentence will be.

"When the baby is born, you can bring him here."

——Si Jun and I were standing at the door, I saw him greet my parents with an uneasy expression, I know this is his skill, he can always handle everything properly.I trust him on that.

We didn't talk much, and I was worried about embarrassment, so I showed my mother a picture of the newborn child, and my father also came over to look at it.One was two children lying in the sterile room, and the other was Si Jun holding them and asked me to take a picture.They were obviously not born to the same mother, but the timing of their birth was not much different, which is amazing.

I never thought about having children.Since I embarked on this path, I have tried to find a balance between gains and losses. There are some things that I am destined not to have.But Si Jun gave me what I dare not expect.

Of course, I never confessed these thoughts to him. I was afraid that the timing would be wrong or the expression would be wrong, and it would lose its proper meaning, so I would rather keep it in my heart.Si Jun didn't ask me any troublesome questions, I guess he probably knew what I was thinking, or maybe he didn't notice it at all.

I sat on the side, not daring to make any unpleasant moves, but actually kept listening to the conversation between Si Jun and his father.It sounds like they can't quite get into their roles with each other, and they hold back every word for fear of getting stuck, even though they're terribly stiff, but I feel relieved.

I am glad that after listening to Si Jun's advice, I finally waited until they were willing to forgive and accept us.

"Did the child's name come up? Do you want clothes? If you are busy, send them here for us to take."

Fortunately, everything was not in vain.

On the way back, we went to the nanny's to see the two children. Because they were too young and we two big men had no experience in raising children, and we were busy with work and neglected to take care of them, we temporarily hired someone to take care of them.

I told Si Jun that I wanted to quit my job for two years and take care of my children at home. He looked incredible and asked me several times if I had thought it through.It's not that I haven't hesitated about this. A man's career can rise for a long time, but the child missed these two years, and he can't make up for it all his life.After thinking about it, I discussed it with him, and he agreed.

"Isn't your husband raising you?"

He made fun of me and rushed me into the house before I was ready to argue, "I put a present for you in the drawer, go and see."

The expression was a bit cramped, "It's the first time I send something like this."

I thought of the drawer that he had tampered with before going out in the morning, and opened it.Inside is a letter.

"Come out to eat after watching." He shouted outside.

"understood."

I say that every time.

Tong Tong:

Writing these words is easier than you think.Maybe it's because I only put my heart and soul into the daydream part before this, and didn't pay much attention to the present. Only when I pick up a pen can I know the severity, which is no more difficult than touching you.

I don't have so much to say about the past with you, and I don't have any precepts and deeds for you to listen to.You are not a child anymore, but I can't help but paranoidly think that you are dependent on me, waiting for my support every step of the way, needing my care and protection, and all giving is meaningful.

I don't know what you think of me, or maybe there are so many unspoken things that make you think they don't exist.

You are not far from me, under the light, the desk is facing the kitchen, I didn't arrange it on purpose.I have to look at you to write it, and the only thing I want you to remember is this sentence.

I live because I miss you.

I am not embarrassed to admit this seemingly unspeakable fact to you, thankfully I have a pen in my hand, otherwise I may never have the chance in my life.

As for the choice, things that cannot be looked back must be willing, and we often use it to measure whether it is worthwhile.

And I have never regretted choosing you.No matter how many times you look back, it's the same.

I remember that you always liked to ask me why, and you were so cautious, afraid that I would be unhappy, I felt that I owed you.

Do you know that the person in this world who is willing to love you with all his heart, regardless of relatives or reasons, must owe you.

When he comes to you exhausted and exhausted, don't ask how far he has gone.

There is ample time.

司峻