accidentally lost love

Ever since he found out about Xu Dong, Chen Haonan has been staying in the dormitory, surfing the Internet or reading books except for classes.He didn't want to go out, because once he went out, he would hear all kinds of gossip about Xu Dong, including puzzlement, suspicion, and sympathy, but more abuse, contempt, insult, and slanderous words flying all over the sky foul language.Every word they said, even every word, hit Chen Haonan's heart fiercely, like sharp swords, leaving scars in his heart.

Even though he knew he was gay before, all he could think about was how to love Li Zicheng, but he never thought about the difference between homosexual love and ordinary people's love.In his consciousness, who he likes is just his own business. At most, it is just a matter of love or not to love the person he loves. The first time he heard about Xu Dong, he felt very tight in his chest. It turns out that everyone despises homosexuality so much. It turns out that homosexual love cannot be exposed to the sun, but can only hide in the shadows.

He really didn't know what they did wrong, they just fell in love with someone, and that person happened to be a man.

It was another weekend, and Chen Haonan was lying in bed reading a novel. He didn't think of getting up to eat until his stomach growled again and again.Looking at the sky through the window, I saw a gray area, picked up the phone to check the time, but it was already two o'clock in the afternoon.

He got out of bed and walked towards the toilet in a daze. Before taking two steps, he heard a loud bang, which shocked Chen Haonan. Fluorescent shards of glass and slightly steaming liquid.Chen Haonan couldn't help sighing, this habit of throwing away is really bad, the thermos bottle he just bought exploded again!However, thanks to the fact that the water inside was poured yesterday, otherwise these tender feet would not be able to take up space for a few days even if they were not crippled!

After tidying up casually, Chen Haonan went out.When the door was closed, it was unknown whether it was due to excessive hunger, lack of oxygen supply to the brain, or because the nerve cells were not yet fully awake after waking up, only to hear a scream of "Ah--", Chen Haonan squeezed his hand in shock!Hold!What day is it today, should I look at the almanac before getting up in the future?He flicked his sore finger and looked at it, thankfully there was nothing serious.

When I came to the supermarket, oh, good guy, there are so many people, it’s so spectacular!Oh, by the way, today is the weekend, I made a lot of trouble before going out, and now it's time to prepare dinner.Chen Haonan has a habit of buying like crazy when he is in a bad mood.At the risk of being crushed, Chen Haonan crossed the mountain of people, dived through the sea of ​​people, and finally bought all the things, so, holding a pile of things for eating, drinking, and toileting, Chen Haonan began to stand in line behind the long queue.By the time he paid, it was already half an hour later.

After putting the things at the cash register, Chen Haonan started to take the money.Habitually put my hand into the right trouser pocket, uh...it was empty, and quickly searched the left trouser pocket, it was still empty!After Chen Haonan searched his whole body up and down, he finally confirmed that he didn't bring any money!Seeing the cashier's impatient expression, Chen Haonan smiled awkwardly, put down his things and slipped away in disgrace.

Walking on the street and looking up at the increasingly gloomy sky, Chen Haonan became more and more depressed. Sure enough, life is like tea, always soaked in cups (tragedies).

Chen Haonan was pulled back from his fugue by the noise around him, and he had already returned to school by this time.From time to time, groups of people passed by him, and hurriedly ran towards the direction of Erzheng.Normally, he would have rushed over to watch the excitement immediately, but today, with such a decline, he is really not in the mood.

When they reached the crossroads, the two girls looked excited and talked while walking.

"Is that gay?! Didn't he go home!"

"Yeah! I heard that his parents seemed to know about that incident. His parents were so angry that they kicked them out!"

"Such an embarrassing thing, others feel disgusting, let alone his parents, no wonder!"

"I heard that he knelt at home for several days, and his dad's angry sticks were broken several times. My classmate said that when he saw him carrying the box back yesterday, he was walking with a limp."

"It's so pitiful! But don't worry about it!"

"Maybe he's playing tricks, crying, making trouble, hanging himself, classic trick!"

"Hehe, now she's crying, making trouble and jumping off a building, and she's jumping in such a high-profile way!"

"That's right, he thought it was a hype in the entertainment industry, so find a place that is so conspicuous! If I were him, I might as well find a place where no one would drink medicine, so as not to embarrass myself and embarrass my ancestors!"

"Actually, his parents are quite pitiful. I heard that he is an only child, and their family is about to die!"

"Hey, if I had known today, why would I have done it back then! It's really God's sin, but I can't live with my own sin!"

……

What they said behind, Chen Haonan didn't know, he didn't even have the strength to stop them from asking, he just ran towards the direction of No. [-] Zong with all his might.From a distance, he saw a person standing on the edge of the roof of the second complex building, but before he could even see if that person was Xu Dong, that thin figure fell from the roof,

Accompanied by ear-piercing screams, Chen Haonan finally ran to the front of the No. [-] comprehensive building and pushed through the crowd with all his strength. Seeing the scene in front of him, Chen Haonan seemed to have been drained of strength, and could no longer move a step forward.

Xu Dong seemed to be thinner. He just lay quietly in the pool of bright red blood, his white cheeks were so peaceful, as if he was asleep, but the bright red liquid flowing from the corner of his mouth reminded people of what happened all the time.

It wasn't since when the dense dark clouds had quietly dispersed, and the sky seemed to be splashed with blood, dazzlingly red.

Chen Haonan remembered what he was going to say to Xu Dong. He wanted to tell Xu Dong the same way Ye Xiaoting told himself. In fact, it’s no big deal to be G, and I am too. Sometimes, people need to be hurt and rejected. Only in this way can you change. Become stronger and cherish everything you have now.So, injury is not necessarily a big bad thing, the point is whether you can stand up again after falling.Don't be afraid, there's nothing you can't get through, I'll get through it with you...

But before I had time to say anything, before I had time to do anything, I would never have a chance.

It seems like it was just yesterday that he and Xu Dong went to class together. Xu Dong likes to sit in a corner on the edge, quietly listening to the teacher's lecture. Occasionally, when the teacher wakes up to answer questions, he will blush slightly; Patience, always patiently listening to other people's words, and occasionally smiling when encountering interesting things, so sunny, so warm; Xu Dong likes someone when eating, he will not gobble up like other boys, He is always methodical and unhurried; he often sees him when he is playing, sitting quietly in the stands, or staring at the active figures on the court, or meditating empty alone...

On a rainy day not long ago, Xu Dong sent him back to the dormitory...

—No umbrella?

--Ok!

——Let's go together!

——You seem to come to the game often!

--Ok!

——I like basketball very much

--so so!

- to find someone

——No, just come and sit!

……

Bit by bit it became clearer, but the protagonist in the memory had lost its temperature and was icy cold, just like the leaves on the nearby tree, which could hardly resist the cold and fell with the wind.

Who killed Xu Dong, that boy?Xu Dong himself?Public opinion?Maybe everyone who can't accept him.A person can't kill him, but everyone can't wait to stab him, but it is enough to kill him.The world is so big, why can't there be a little Xu Dong.

What about yourself?