Yunyun

Nuo Da's dining table wished to be lined with ten-centimeter-thick newspapers, and the take-out boxes taken out of the plastic bags were carefully placed on top of it, and a circle of oil was stained in a short while.

"You man, you invited me to your house, and you actually gave me takeaway?" Song Qingyan sat upright on the chair, with both hands supporting the hair rope to tie her hair behind her head.

"Sorry, I didn't have time to buy groceries." He Youning glanced at the kitchen in embarrassment, and Song Qingyan followed her gaze. The kitchen stove was as clean as a newly renovated house, and the dishcloth was folded into a hard square hanging on the wall.

Song Qingyan leaned out, passed the window between the kitchen and the dining room, stretched out her index finger and wiped the stove, a thin layer of fine dust appeared on the fingertips as expected.

"Have you been eating at school lately?"

"Uh... yes. The project time is relatively tight so..."

"Oh~ So it's because the project is tight." Song Qingyan's tone was 100% disbelief, and He Youning didn't dare to answer, knowing that once he refuted, this guy would definitely interpret her clearly. Chu, then silently watched her get up to wash her hands.

"By the way, I thought you had to rush me back home." The sound of the faucet suddenly stopped, and the person who was soaping his hands showed his head from the door, his eyebrows and eyes curved He waited with great interest for He Youning's answer.

"What are you doing, I too... haven't eaten at home for a long time." He Youning turned his head to avoid Song Qingyan's obviously malicious eyes, sat up straight and showed a calm face to her provocation, "Besides Now... you can say whatever you like, it's been so many years... I'm still afraid of you?" As if suddenly gaining courage, the voice also became louder, picked up a piece of broccoli with chopsticks and quickly stuffed it into the into Song Qingyan's mouth.

"Really?" Song Qingyan swallowed the broccoli into her stomach, did not move her chopsticks after she sat down, and patted lightly with one hand on the table, paused, and patted again, "Then I can tell Ah, Ye Fu will return to China next month."

He Youning's extended chopsticks stopped in mid-air.

Song Qingyan's voice was not loud, and her tone was clear and light, like many ordinary evenings many years ago, when the people waiting downstairs in the college rolled down the car window and asked her, "What are you going to eat? Do you want Ye Fu to eat?" stand up?"

It's just that there is no one beside him jumping into the car anymore.

"She posted it in Moments, you really don't know?" Song Qingyan took He Youning's chopsticks out of her hand and put them back on the table, "If you say block it, block it, it's cruel enough, Mr. He."

At that time, WeChat had just become popular, and Ye Fu, who had settled abroad, followed the QQ account and added everyone back one by one, including He Youning.At first, there were some mild greetings, but the stories that ended without a problem were tacitly never brought up again.

Later, Ye Fu got married to a senior who went abroad two years earlier than her.The two embracing in the church in the circle of friends are happy and well-matched, and the sunlight patiently spreads colorful colors on her wedding dress through the stained glass.Like all the teachers and students, He Youning left a message of congratulations under that photo.

Many years ago and many years later, people went round and round, and there were only a few endings, and there were not many choices.

Song Qingyan knew that He Youning blocked Ye Fu's circle of friends later, and she wanted to return to her own life after all.

"Hmm." He Youning lowered his head and found a screenshot on his phone, "There is an announcement from the school office, academic exchange activities, she is one of the speakers, and she will come to give a report."

"are you going?"

"I am... the host of the meeting."

"Then, what do you think?" Song Qingyan propped her chin with one hand, staring at He Youning without blinking.

"Whatever you can think about is a thing of the past."

"No, I'm talking about the kid in the kindergarten." Song Qingyan took out a shrimp from the plate and put it in He Youning's bowl.

"Qing Yan, I am 33 years old this year, and she is only 23."

"So?"

"She still has a long way to go." He Youning put his hands on his face and rubbed it slowly, but he didn't want the glasses to come loose from his ears and fall to the ground, making an abrupt sound.

"What a lousy excuse." Song Qingyan helped He Youning pick up the glasses, but held them in her hand and refused to give them to her. Seeing He Youning's out-of-focus eyesight due to her high myopia, although her tone was a little teasing, her complexion was not He gradually became serious, "Is this the reason why you put him aside for no apparent reason?"

"I just... don't want to delay her. She is also a teacher." He Youning, who had no glasses, narrowed her eyes subconsciously. Although she could no longer see Song Qingyan's face clearly, she still chose to turn her head away, "Rationality Tell me it's the best option."

"No." Song Qingyan suddenly got up and walked around to He Youning's side, "If you were really an absolutely rational person, then you wouldn't know her, let alone bring her here."

"I'm not going back tonight, I'm going to practice calligraphy." Song Qingyan put He Youning's glasses in her hand, took out the pen, ink, paper and inkstone that had been backed up at He Youning's house all year round from the cabinet in the living room, turned and went into the study.

He Youning sighed deeply and leaned back in the chair.

Forgot to turn off the screen of the mobile phone, the schedule of the academic exchange forum was still on, and the word "Ye Fu" in the guest speaker was particularly eye-catching, as if adding a different spectrum to the light of the mobile phone, which was extremely dazzling.

After so many years, what I didn't dare to face at the beginning is still cowardly now.

Once the dusty past is brought up, the memory is like the early spring when the ice and snow melt, and the buried thoughts become invisible again, and the ground that has lost its shade is mottled, full of guilt, self-blame and remorse, year after year, as if The four seasons generally change back and forth, endlessly.

Will there be any dissatisfaction?I will.Otherwise, why did the resolutions made one after another in the dead of night when people were tossing and turning, but when I saw that person the next day, nothing counted.Otherwise, why would I patiently listen to her talk about the bits and pieces of life in those radio waves and signals, and in the days without her, word by word, like a treasure.

He Youning knew that Song Qingyan didn't come to be someone's lobbyist, she just didn't want to see her entangled anymore.The person in the study who was half-bowing and waving his pen knew her plight, so he didn't say the sentence "self-deception" mercilessly, and left her the space to resolve it by herself.Having known each other for many years, they know each other too well, and they know better than each other what it means to be involuntary.

"Om -" the phone vibrated suddenly, He Youning picked it up and took a look, then pressed the mute button and put it aside, his eyebrows furrowed.It was my mother calling, so I knew what to say without guessing.And 5 minutes later, Mother He's sullen messages popped up on the screen one after another.

"You didn't go to see Xiao Zhao?"

"why are you not going?"

"You always embarrass me and your dad like this, you know that?"

"What is the reason this time, you will call me back and explain clearly."

The phone vibrated on the table for a long time, and even the numbness was transmitted to the fingers, bit by bit, spreading along the meridians.He Youning looked at the information on the screen that finally stopped refreshing, and a wry smile appeared on the corner of his mouth.

From the age of 23 until now, the protracted tug-of-war has never seen hope, let alone an end.

But, how can I "explain clearly" that I don't like the opposite sex?If even voluntary singleness is called "embarrassing", then when this matter is told, what will happen to the family?

To live up to the word is too heavy, so we can only drift away from the mainstream like this, but we don't have the courage to resist the mainstream.So how can such a person be worthy of falling in love?

The bell in the distant campus rang, it was past midnight, and it was a new day.He Youning got up and put the almost untouched food on the table into the kitchen. The kitchen window was not sealed well, and the cold air lingered in the room. Occasionally, a drop or two of raindrops splashed in. The moment she opened the door, she shivered and her knees A faint pain.

There were many hardships for the rest of my life, but I only survived one day.