Lord Duke

Chapter 20Dream

Payne didn't sleep well tonight.

He felt himself sinking and sinking in the darkness, his fingers were weak, even if he tried to lift up, he could only grasp the endless void.

Ah... the fall went deeper.

He seemed to be falling into the boundless darkness.But his consciousness was clear, Payne knew: he was dreaming again.

It's been a long, long time since I had this dream.Well, let him think about it, wait for another three seconds, and he will see the familiar and unfamiliar Brenger Castle - the place where he stayed until he was 12 years old, the home of the Sosa family, and the clear-cut mom and dad.Yes, the face is clear.

Payne counted 1, 2, 3 in his head.

He thought to himself: Sure enough.

In front of him, a dazzling white light appeared, dispelling the darkness, and after everything subsided, green grass appeared.

Payne watched all this calmly, watching his past self appear in this dream.He is like a bystander, but he is watching his own story.

Little Payne was not at all the same now.He is not the same as he was ten years ago.

He has soft black hair, big blue eyes, and the innocence and carefreeness of a child of this age.He has strict and gentle parents, a lively and lovely sister, and some friends who can play and play together.

When he was a child, Payne felt that when he grew up, he would become the most powerful Duke, like his father, marry a good girl like his mother, and treat her forever.By the way, there is also sister Yisha, let her be happy.

It was great when I was a child, the sun was warm and bright every day, and the grass was green and alive every day.At that time, what he liked was the family crest - the yellow tulip.He thought nothing would change.

Really.

The calm picture seemed to be broken, the picture was pitch black, and then there were snowflakes.Payne watched calmly, but his fingers tightened involuntarily. ...It turned out that he couldn't face that scene calmly after all.Even after watching it so many times, so many years have passed.

The picture is clear again.Payne, who was already a young boy, was wearing a small suit and a dark blue bow tie, playing hide and seek with his friends.He hid in a wardrobe in a room in the castle.He hid it so well that no one found him.After a long, long time, when he felt that it was going to be dark outside, he finally planned to come out.

But he heard the sound of the door being gently opened.He quickly held his breath, thinking that his little partner had come.He suddenly felt something was wrong, because there were two footsteps, one in front and one behind... It didn't sound like a child's.

Payne was taken aback for a moment, the wardrobe was big, dark and warm, and there was a small slit to see the outside.He was about to go out, but he heard someone speak—

It was his father's voice!dad!He whispered in his heart.His heart began to pound, and his intuition told him that he couldn't go out.His intuition saved him.

It was a female voice who spoke next.It has a nice voice, like an oriole in early spring, crisp and fresh, and this sister is not bad looking.Payne thought to himself, he quietly put his face on the seam of the wardrobe, to see what was going on outside——

His father, with a smile on his face, tugged at the beautiful woman's clothes. The woman's clothes were already disheveled, and his father shouted: "Good baby, just follow me." One hand was already restless Steeped into the woman's clothes, with an ambiguous smile on her face.As he spoke, he was about to lean forward to kiss the woman, but was blocked by the woman's hand.

Payne only felt his heart beating wildly, and he almost covered his mouth to prevent himself from screaming.He felt that his head was a little out of control... That man, that man with a salivating face... Is it really his father?Mom, by the way, mom, how dare he... how dare he be sorry for mom?The father who used to be strict but gentle, who always taught him patiently, is gone...?There was steam in Payne's eyes, he was really upset, panicked and scared.

But the sentence he heard the next moment made him feel like falling into an ice cellar, and he felt that the blood in his whole body was frozen.He froze completely, not daring to move, and even breathing deliberately, for fear of alarming them.

He heard the man who could be called his father say: "I have already searched for some information about this country, and you can go back and report to Kelin State." Even though Penn was young, Kelin State knew about it. The education he had received had told him that it was the hostile country of the Eton Kingdom, a deadly feud for generations, and there was almost no possibility of reconciliation.

The man was still talking: "Hey, baby, of course I only have you in my heart. Heh, that woman is really boring and tight, and she is also hard on the bed. If it wasn't for the mission, how could I... How could I have you?" ——Let me never forget it?" Finally, tears fell from Payne's eyes.

He thought of many beautiful scenes when his parents got along with each other before.So it's all fake... The happy family of four is fake, the scene of Hua Haili swearing sincerely is fake, the picture of happily embracing each other is fake, and his love for his mother is fake.

Tears fell to the ground one by one.all fake.

Nothing is true... the love that makes others envious is also fake...

Payne raised his eyes with difficulty, the innocence of his childhood faded away, and there was a trace of determination in his eyes.He shouldn't be that child who is under the wing and doesn't know the world. At this moment, he begins to grow up.Growing up so quickly, the price is so painful.

Payne looked at the two overlapping figures outside, as well as the woman's ambiguous cock, he looked at it almost fiercely, not leaving himself the last retreat.You remember!Penn Sosa!Your father betrayed your mother!Betrayed your country!You can't find a reason to forgive him!you can not!

He thought it was the worst. ...But life tells you with facts, don't be naive, it can be worse.

Payne was found.

Maybe it accidentally bumped into a small corner of the wardrobe, making a moderate noise.The movements of the two people outside froze, and the man got off the woman cursing, and was about to open the closet.

The closet was opened, and the light rushed in, and he could barely keep his eyes open.

He was completely exposed to the air, in front of his father and that woman.He saw his stunned, naked father, and of course the woman.He suddenly felt nauseous.Another strange grievance. ...he was still a child after all.

But his father struggled for a moment in the next moment, then he casually grabbed a vase on the wooden table next to him and wanted to throw it at him, with a cruel expression on his face and no mercy!The woman watched coldly from behind, wrapping her body in a sheet.

Payne felt that the time seemed to be getting longer, the man's movements seemed to be in slow motion, and his heart was empty, as if the grassland in his heart withered in an instant, turned into a wasteland, and then grew a lot of wild grass.He tried his best to escape, but it seemed inevitable.It was at that moment that his father's face quickly blurred and blurred in front of him, and finally he could no longer see clearly.Never, ever again will it be clear.

The vase missed him, and his father immediately threw a wooden sculpture hard at him.Solid wood, very heavy.Hit on the forehead, also very painful.

There was blood gurgling from his forehead, Payne's consciousness was almost blurred.Is he dying?After all, he didn't expect, father, no, this man can be so cruel.Faintly, he heard the sound of the door opening, and he shouted with the greatest strength in his life: "Help!"

The following things are like fast motion, turning into a black and white picture.When he woke up again, everything changed.It was as if a tornado had blown through his world.

——No blade of grass is left in the land you pass by.

Father is dead.

In order to save him, his mother accidentally killed his father. Because there was no evidence to prove his father's treason, his mother was sent to court.

——Because at that time, men could have mistresses.

Mom was executed.

executed...

Didn't even see her for the last time.

He didn't hear a single word she left him.

The gentleness of his mother's hand stroking his hair, with a bit of fresh heat, is alive in his memory.But what to do, his memory is so painful, he doesn't want to think about it...

Payne couldn't hold back his tears at all... He felt that there was an empty corner in his heart, maybe it will be filled in the future, maybe...

Never, never can it be filled.

The screen turns.

Isa cried and said, "It's you, it's all you! If you don't know anything, then there won't be these things!"She ran away crying, and the little cloth bear he gave her was thrown to the ground hard.She ran farther and farther away, as if she would never come back.

——A rift has arisen.Even if Isa understood later, grew up, and apologized to him, they could never go back to the past.

His home... is gone.

He is very aware of this fact at this moment.

The light in his world seemed to be extinguished at once.The world fell into darkness.

Payne, who was lying on the hospital bed, stroked his forehead. There was a bandage on his forehead, and his forehead was still aching.He looked at Isa who was crying away, gently pulled the corners of his mouth, and showed a smile that was uglier than crying: "Blame me. Blame me? This, one, point, no, no, blame, me!" He gritted his teeth He yelled out this sentence, and finally ended his innocent and carefree boyhood with an unscrupulous cry.

He was crying very tired, very hard.Because he told himself that he would never cry again.Although he is young, he is an adult.

He doesn't believe in love.

He only believes in himself.

He hides his true self very, very deeply.

Hide in the boundless darkness.

He told himself: "There is no light in your world, so you can be your own light."

——He heard himself respond in a low voice: "Okay." This was the most serious promise he could have made to himself.

After that.He seemed to be born again overnight.Life has turned the barbed and cruel side on him prematurely. He seems to have betrayed his relatives and friends overnight, and his relatives and friends have all gone away, but he raises a bright smiling face, so he flaunts it wantonly.

He would laugh and flaunt, and he would smile and greet, and he looked the most normal.But in his heart, there seemed to be a separate him, watching his performance objectively and coldly. ... almost no one can stir his emotions, even if he looks like he is smiling.

Fake.Fake.all fake.

- He's trying to be normal instead of being known as a basically emotionless monster.Or, he restrained his emotions extremely deeply, deeper than you can imagine.His raised eyebrows and smiling movements were just his reaction if other people encountered this matter.

That was the original Payne.Who would have thought that the real him would look like this?Outsiders thought he was flamboyant, and he thought so too. He almost fooled himself.He faces the light, but his heart is in darkness.Light and shadow, light and darkness are vividly reflected in him.

He is bound by the family.

He is in love with red tulips.

The faces of parents that I occasionally think of are always blurred.

I will never only think of the picture before the accident happened.

He often presses his forehead unconsciously because he always feels a dull pain there.I don't know whether it is psychological or the cause of the scars left when I was a child. Payne can't tell the difference, and he doesn't want to tell the difference.

……So be it.

very good already.Ended up being a normal duke, high and powerful, like he was as a kid.

——But apart from this, everything else has not been realized.

But he forgot that no matter how restrained he is, he still has human emotions.

You will also have a good impression of people, and you will also like someone.Even if you don't want to admit it.After all, there is a little, a little liking.

Payne thought, he was actually... a little scared.He couldn't believe it a little bit, and went to fight for it.What's more, this is really not an era of tolerance.In this era, he has never seen the true heart.In other words, he has sincerity, but he doesn't have the good luck to meet it.

Cups of wine were intertwined, and between the clothes and temples, there were faces like flowers, with calculations and scrutiny on the faces, maybe there was shyness and joy from seeing his handsome face.

But where to find the eternal sincerity?

＊＊＊＊＊＊

Its daybreak.Payne pressed his painful forehead and sat up slowly.It's another day.Had another long dream last night, Payne smiled self-deprecatingly, thinking of his former self again.

He put on his clothes slowly, buttoning them meticulously from the bottom one to the top one.He arranged his clothes in front of the mirror by the window, put on his wide-brimmed hat, took his cane, and finally confirmed his clothes.

In the mirror, there was another normal duke.Arrogant and indifferent, without sadness or joy.

——As if the previous mood swings were an illusion.

The author has something to say:

It's actually three o'clock~

Explain the protagonist's view of love

He needs to be healed~

^W^