smoke like fire

Zhao Kuanyi seems to have to make a change every once in a while.

After Ms. Zhao divorced her third husband, Mr. Xiao, she was depressed a lot. Zhao Kuanyi asked for leave from school and returned to Taiwan to accompany her.

Although my relationship with Zhao Kuanyi faded in the third year of high school, and he didn't even mention that he went abroad, but when we met again, I felt that he had changed a lot.

I went to university in Taiwan, and the school is in the area of ​​Da'an District.I have never been used to going to school by car at home. Of course, I still take the bus or MRT to go to university.

It was the end of July, the summer in Taipei, hot and stuffy,

Originally, I didn’t need to leave the station by taking the MRT line, but I thought of Eslite to buy a magazine, so I left the station.

There are people coming and going in the underground shopping mall, Zhao Kuanyi and I just ran into each other by such a coincidence.

I didn't recognize it at a glance, it was he who called me to stop.

Seeing Zhao Kuanyi, I really couldn't believe it was him.

Since middle school, Zhao Kuanyi has been taller than me, plus he is good-looking, and he often attracts attention on the road, but he doesn't like to be too much attention, and he always only wears black or gray tones.

Although he was not too strict in high school, his overall appearance was still low-key.

But at that time, I saw that he was a little taller, and he had dyed blond hair. As for the clothes, he looked good, but it was not refreshing.

Zhao Kuanyi smiled at me, he said: Cheng Jingcheng, you haven't changed.

I didn't even have a rebuttal.I don't know why it should be changed.

Zhao Kuanyi and I met when we were ten years old. Although we were in the same school, we had never been in the same class.He has his own circle of friends, and so do I.

But I live close to him. Unless we don’t go home directly after school, we will definitely go the same way. Sometimes we make an appointment to do homework and play video games together.

Frankly speaking, our conversations were very trivial, we didn't talk about life aspirations, we only visited each other's house a few times, and we didn't even stay overnight.

I went to ordinary high school, and he went to an American school. Except with his girlfriend, he would ask me if I could go out on Saturdays and Sundays.

Our friendship is nothing more than that.

But many times and many things, I will take him into account unconsciously, and I think he should do the same.

In the summer vacation of my third year in high school, I needed tutoring, and my family began to pay close attention to my homework. It was rare to go out with him a few times.

At that time, Zhao Kuanyi had a girlfriend of mixed American and Thai origin, and she was very clingy to him. The BBCall rang once in less than 10 minutes, so that we didn't say a few words.

I was a little annoyed by this, and I didn't do well with the exam questions, so I told Zhao Kuanyi that it would be better to go out by myself, it would be a waste of time.

Zhao Kuanyi was silent, and I quickly explained that I was worried about going to school, and it might be difficult to hang out with him again.

I know, he said, it's nothing.

So we didn't have much contact for a year.Sometimes when I call his home, the housekeeper always picks up, and occasionally it is Miss Zhao.

He didn't tell me that he applied for a school to go abroad. I thought it would be uncomfortable at most when I thought about it, but when I met him, he was so indifferent, as if we had never been alienated, and I realized that it was more than uncomfortable.

It turned out that I actually blamed him a lot in my heart.

But I never made it clear to him.

Zhao Kuanyi came back to accompany Miss Zhao.It was he who told me that I knew about Mr. Xiao's affair.

He stayed in Taiwan for more than ten days and told me about the things in the United States.

At that time, I had the opportunity to apply for the exchange student program, but I was not very active at first, because Zhao Kuanyi changed his attitude.

The application went very well. Zhao Kuanyi's school and I are not in the same city, but in the same state.

I have been there for more than a year, and there are all kinds of classmates in the class, and they are all interesting people.

There are two Taiwanese in the class, one male and one female.

The male one is a comrade named Qiu Yisen.

After a long time, when I saw him, I couldn't help calling him the God of Songs.

Jacky Cheung is indeed the god of singing, but there is another one as powerful as Eason Chen.

Qiu Yisen and I got along well, he took me to the bar and taught me another world.

Chen Limin and I haven't been together for a long time. We separated almost in the first semester of our freshman year. When we left Taiwan, there was a senior sister who was on good terms with me. It was logical that we should be able to date.

Qiu Yisen asked me, at what point did I get ambiguous with that senior sister?

Is there a step to be ambiguous?I laugh.

Ambiguous, of course, also has ABC, he said, you can get to C even if you don’t talk about it.

What is that relationship called?I asked.

He said, pals, he added, like me and Oliver.

If he didn't talk, I thought they were a couple, because he was very kind to Oliver and responsive to every request.

No wonder, then, that Oliver went to the bar and was always fishing.

Oliver even asked me if I wanted to try kissing him.

I don't know if other men will be disgusted or even beat up when asked this way, but I don't reject it at all.

It's weird, I like women but I don't resist being with a man.

One Friday night, Qiu Yisen took me to the bar.He went to have fun and left me drinking at the bar.

A foreigner came over and bought me a drink.

I did not refuse.

I tried a kiss with that person.It's not disgusting, it's the same feeling as a woman kissing.

I can't help but think of Zhao Kuanyi.

The other party wanted to go to bed, but I wasn't ready to go to that point. Fortunately, he didn't turn his back on him and left me a phone call.

During the Christmas holiday, Zhao Kuanyi did not return to Taiwan, and drove to New York with a male classmate, agreeing to travel together.Of course they didn't book a hotel, they stayed at my place.

I have been here for half a year, and I have only chatted with Zhao Kuanyi on the Internet, so I can't help but look forward to it.

In addition, ever since I actually kissed a man, I always wondered if it would be different if I kissed Zhao Kuanyi.

But that day, Zhao Kuanyi fell asleep as soon as he arrived, and didn't talk to me much.

Zhao Kuanyi's classmate slept with him.

Later that day, when I went upstairs to check on them, the door opened and Zhao Kuanyi was still asleep. His classmate leaned down and kissed him on the lips.

When I found out, the other party was not panicked or embarrassed.

The Brazilian man said to me in English: Let's stay a little longer.

I closed the door politely, not knowing what to feel in my heart.

Qiu Yisen later told me that Zhao Kuanyi's classmates must be comrades.

If the other party is, does Zhao Kuanyi know?I just thought about this.

If Zhao Kuanyi knew, what would he think?

I didn't ask.

When traveling later, Zhao Kuanyi got along with each other, not particularly close.On the contrary, it's been a long time since I haven't seen you, and I've talked to me more.

When it was time to go back, Zhao Kuanyi told me something.

He received a card before the festival, from France, signed Guillaume Chevalier.

※The last paragraph of the last update was modified, so start from that paragraph

After the tour, the day before Zhao Kuanyi was going back to school, Qiu Yisen found an excuse to take his Brazilian classmate out, and he and I were alone.

We sat on the wool rug in the living room drinking beer and chatting casually.

Zhao Kuanyi suddenly told me something.

He received a card before the festival, from France, signed Guillaume Chevalier.

Guillaume Chevalier.Zhao Kuanyi's biological father.

Miss Zhao divorced him and never saw him again, and never knew how he was doing.

If it weren't for the secret entanglement with this person back then, Ms. Zhao's future would not be what she is today.

But frankly speaking, Ms. Zhao's life is much better than that of many divorced people, but people are like this, and they always feel very sorry for regrets.

If Mr. Chevalier had been more tolerant and not let go so easily, Ms. Zhao would not have had to go through several harsh relationships.

Of course, I can't guess what she was thinking, but she even threw away the photos she took when she was sweet, and she probably complained a lot.

I asked Zhao Kuanyi, did his mother know about the card?

The card was forwarded, Zhao Kuanyi only said.

He leaned back against the sofa seat, half of his eyes were covered by his slightly longer front hair.He's still dyed blond this time, but the swirls have faded a bit, showing a little bit of black.

He seemed to be looking at a certain point on the wall in front of him.

Mr. William lives in Rivières, and a photo was attached to the card he sent.

Later, I saw the Chinese-French mixed-race man. He was tall and thin, and his face was full of wrinkles when he smiled.

I have to say that Zhao Kuanyi is more like Ms. Zhao.

Zhao Kuanyi didn't feel much about the divorce of his parents, he was too young at that time.He has no memory of his biological father, and of course he has no so-called sadness.

'I've never felt the need for a father,' he said.

In other words, his mother's marriage was never based on the purpose of organizing a happy family.His mother, falling in love or getting married, has always been only to satisfy his personal sense of security and desire for monopoly in love.

This is the first time I heard Zhao Kuanyi talk about this much.

Long talk, like ordinary chat, but the emotions are hidden between the lines.

I think his mother's three failed marriages must have dealt him some blows.He didn't really care what he had always shown.

Later Zhao Kuanyi never talked about this again.He is colder than when he was young, watching his mother deal with several love affairs; he is indifferent and rational, and he also talks about love, but never falls into it.

But Zhao Kuanyi in college is still young and crazy.

He said, drinking non-stop.

I couldn't tell if he was drunk or not.He once told me that when he competed with his classmates, no one could drink better than him.

Talking late at night, Zhao Kuanyi's cell phone rang.

He spoke English quickly, but in a gentle tone. It took me a while to guess who might have called.

Should be girlfriend.

Or, boyfriend?

I don't know that he has a relationship in the United States, he didn't say it.The picture I saw two days ago jumped into my heart, and when he hung up the phone, I couldn't help asking him.

girlfriend?I asked cautiously.

Zhao Kuanyi smiled.He said, just went to bed.

He suddenly got up and went upstairs, and came down again after a while, with his palm facing me, and two pills lying on it.He said, try it, you will be very happy.

I don't know what that is.

He has already swallowed one.

There was movement at the door, Qiu Yisen and the Brazilian male classmate came back.

Zhao Kuanyi seemed very happy, and leaned over to hook up with his classmate, and asked to go to a nearby bar together.Qiu Yisen didn't know why, but when I saw Zhao Kuanyi getting close to the Brazilian man, I suddenly became impetuous.

We still went to the bar.

I thought Zhao Kuanyi was just a change in appearance.In high school he wasn't the norm, but in college he was really loose; what I saw was just the tip of the iceberg.

He drank, did drugs, had one-night stands.I never dared to guess whether there was a man for his partner, although I did see him kissing a man in a bar that day.

I don't know how to classify the ups and downs of emotions in my heart.I was very drunk afterwards, and I couldn't care which corner Zhao Kuanyi went to with his classmates or whoever they were.

On the next day of that day, Zhao Kuanyi and his classmates went back to school, and I was so hungover that I couldn't get up to see him off.

Qiu Yisen came to ask me, do you like him?

I was silent.

I chatted with Zhao Kuanyi on the Internet, and I even made a vacation to find him.He never mentioned half of what happened after that night, but he never concealed his wildness about life in front of me.

But one day, he suddenly put an end to all his crazy actions.

At the age of 25, Zhao Kuanyi returned to Taiwan with a master's degree. He and a few partners started a company with the graduation bonus given to him by Ms. Zhao's father.

He worked steadily, his business expanded slowly, and he suddenly came to his senses. He has become a shareholder of several companies, and all assets are roughly estimated to exceed several hundred million dollars.

Zhao Kuanyi became low-key, and seemed to be calm about everything.

I took the five-spice salty dumplings to go to a hair salon on Zhongshan North Road.

On weekends and holidays, business is just right, a few designers can't get to the stage quickly, and the assistants are even more flustered.I was precocious and familiar with the way, greeted a few people, and went to the office behind the second floor.

Beside the large desk behind the frosted glass, a handsome man dressed in gorgeous clothes leaned his butt on the edge of the table, happily hanging up the phone.

I ended the student exchange program and still maintain a good friendship with Qiu Yisen.

After Qiu Yisen finished his studies at university, he gave up business and went to design. He went to the UK to study art. He did well and won several awards.

He went back to Taiwan to open a shop and asked me what I meant.I also wanted to taste what it was like to be a shareholder, so I made an investment.

I opened the door and went in, smiled at him and said, "God of Songs is so happy but wants to hold a concert?"

Qiu Yisen gave me a blank look.

"I brought it for you." I put the food box on his table and sat down on the big sofa beside him.

Qiu Yisen sat next to me, "Hey, why don't you go drink tea? It's so early, it's really rare."

"It was dug up." I said, "I want to wash and trim my hair."

"You are too good at choosing the time to come. EJ is on vacation, otherwise you should find Iris." Qiu Yisen said.

"When I came up, I saw two groups of customers in Iris' hands who were taking care of their hair." I lazily raised my legs and looked at Qiu Yisen: "Go to Qiao for a while."

Qiu Yisen gave me a supercilious look for the second time.

"Today is the big day, boss, who do you want me to offend?"

I laughed, "You call me the boss, aren't you afraid of offending me?"

"I'm afraid of you, I'll wash and cut for you myself." Qiu Yisen stood up and gave me a hand: "Hurry up, I have an appointment at [-] o'clock."

Hey, Qiu Yisen has always valued sex over friends.I said, "Don't give me a quick haircut."

"Have I ever smashed a signboard?" Qiu Yisen raised his eyebrows, he almost put his hand on his waist and pointed his finger at me, "Don't worry, it will make you look good even if you are fast."

I was amused, and went out with him to find a seat, then lay comfortably on the washing table and did an essential oil massage and shampoo.

The assistant helped me dry my hair, Qiu Yisen came to talk to me about hairstyles, and my mobile phone on the glass table rang.

Qiu Yisen glanced at it and handed me the phone.

I picked it up, Wen Yan said a few words and hung up.

"Then Miss Zhao won't let you off even on holidays?" Qiu Yisen said.

"What are you talking about?" I laughed.

Qiu Yisen frowned, and said earnestly: "Others don't know, but I know. If you don't have that kind of feeling, you should express your attitude quickly and don't let people pester you."

I was silent, and then said: "She is an elder who loves the younger generation, so there is no entanglement."

Qiu Yisen scoffed, and didn't talk about it anymore.

I know he doesn't think so about my relationship with Ms. Zhao.

But in fact, as I said, it's just the elders and the younger generations.

How did Ms. Zhao and I cross this line.To be honest, I really dare not.

But people are like this, the more they dare not, the more they have to do it.

Love can have nothing to do with whether you like a person or not, it can be so clearly divided.

It's amazing how, when emotional, it's never expected.

I am obsessed with this feeling and can't extricate myself.