humble as dust

In fact, silence is also a sound, it represents cowardice and fear.

"Hey, I'm back, tsk, why did it happen like this, next time you come back remember to take Bao Yuxi and put it in the drawer, there are no cigarettes after finishing today." Zhao Ji had just walked out the door when he met Qian Chen who was walking home.

Qian Chen was covered in bruises, his left cheek was swollen, and he lowered his head and said nothing.The corner of Zhao Jigang's mouth twitched, and he withdrew the hand that was about to pat the opponent's head. He never liked Qian Chen, and his thin and cowardly character disgusted him, but it didn't matter, as long as it was easy to run errands.

The two passed by each other on the stairs. Qian Chen's 1.7-meter height seemed very small in front of the burly and sturdy 1.9-meter Zhao Jigang.Years of decoration work and low cultural level have formed Zhao Jigang's vulgar and arrogant character.The aisle wasn't wide enough, so Qian Chen had to step aside, "You said what's the use of reading a book, it can only waste money. I told you to drop out of school and follow me." Zhao Jigang spat on the ground as he spoke. A mouthful of thick phlegm.

Qian Chen didn't know what to say, but he knew that if he didn't respond, this man would definitely cause trouble the next time he met. "Ah, I, I don't know either." With his head down, timidly, he spit out this sentence.

Tsk, the man snorted coldly. He didn't know whether it was because of the answer or the other party's coy attitude, so he turned his head and left without saying anything.

Qian Chen came back to his senses, sighed aloud, and thought of the woman staying at home again, an unspeakable irritability rose up.

Just as the key was inserted into the lock, a clear female voice sounded from the door.

"Chen Chen is back, wash up and get ready to eat." The gentle breeze makes anyone's heart tremble, but unexpectedly, Qian Chen's face was twisted together, his right hand was tightly clenched into a fist, and he took several deep breaths, finally Pushed open the door.

What catches the eye is a graceful face, with a smile on his brows, and the half-curly long hair that reaches his waist is scattered in front of him, covering the fine lines that appear at the corners of his eyes to a full extent.The flushing of her cheeks and the slight beads of sweat oozing from her forehead added to her charm.The half-open neckline fluctuated up and down with the heaving chest. No need to think about it, Qian Chen already knew what happened in this room just now.Fuck, he cursed secretly in his heart.

"God, what's wrong with you, Chenchen, how did you become like this, it's okay, let me see." The woman exclaimed, her smile disappeared immediately, and she stretched out her hands like a hen to protect her cub, trying to hold Qian Chen into her arms .

"I'm fine. I fell down on the road. It's none of your business." Qian Chen shook off the woman's outstretched hand, turned his head, took off his shoes, and went straight to his room.

The woman's hand hung in the air and did not take it back for a long time, her concerned face turned into a sour and wry smile, he clearly knew why his son was like this.

She is a jerk.

More than ten years ago, late at night, she was dominated by a feeling of vomiting that she had never felt before.At first, she just thought she was suffering from a cold.After a few more days, she thought of a possibility without getting better, and finally the two bright red lines on the early pregnancy test paper told her the answer, and a dark cloud of sorrow enveloped her tightly.At that time, she was still working under Aunt Chen. Pregnancy was tantamount to being abandoned. Although abortion was harmful to the body, she could barely keep herself by gritting her teeth and chatting with customers.She couldn't sleep the whole night, stroking her belly and fighting fiercely.The balance of good and evil kept tilting, and whenever I made up my mind to send it away, the maternal love and affection whipped me over and over again.She is counting down the countdown to her life every day, as if when the invisible clock comes to an end, she will have the answer, or in other words, she can force herself to make that choice until then.The sky failed as people wished, and the accident happened at the time of picking up the guests. The violent nausea rushed towards her, and it was inevitable that she vomited on the guests.

She had a hard time that day. Not only was she deducted all her money, but she was also beaten up by Aunt Chen's concubine. Finally, when she lay down on her own vomit and made a noise, she realized that the countdown had reached zero.

She hugged her best friend and cried all night. Others just thought she felt uncomfortable because of the deduction of money, but she clearly knew that she was crying bitterly about her cruelty and weakness. She really felt every tear she shed. Everywhere was accompanied by the anger of the fetus, the tears dried up, and the child died.

That night, she seemed to be drained of all her strength, she didn't know what happened the next day, as if another self in her body was leading everything.Asking for leave and "seeing a doctor", when I came back to my senses, I had been pushed into the outpatient operating room.

She didn't do painless, of course the main reason is not enough money, but from the bottom of her heart, she wanted to remember this unforgettable experience, tragic, ruthless, everything from the outside world swept in like wild beasts, and did not give her child a little way out.

Looking up at the Shadowless Lamp, her eyes were pale, but not sad, she thought her heart had stopped beating for a while.Inexplicably, I thought of my mother. In that small village with beautiful mountains and clear waters, the evening glow reflected my mother's face, covered with a layer of gold, and I was lying on my mother's knees, with my delicate eyes shining, She asked in a childish voice, "Mom, why did you name me that?"

Waving the cattail fan up and down, my mother smiled and said, "This rain, naturally I hope you can be free and moisten the emerald green eyes, dew, it is the hope that you can condense on the leaves, wash away the dust, and welcome the rising sun. Yulu, Yulu, what a good name.

Qian Yulu's thoughts were flying, and the next moment, the nightmare that surrounded her and refused to leave appeared in front of her eyes again. The mudslides destroyed the whole village. Her mother told her to run, but she returned home to collect money and belongings. That night, I stayed up all night, leaning against my firefighter uncle, my eyes full of hope, hoping that the figure in my mind would overlap in front of my eyes, and the sun would rise again, but I still didn't wait for her in the end.

After that, there is no need to talk about my own life, let alone talk about it.

He closed his eyes lightly and finally accepted his fate.I'm sorry, child, it's all my mother's fault... Her heart trembled, her throat turned up and down, and the last tear dripped slowly down the corner of her eye onto the pillow, splashing a hot flower.

The drainage device reflecting the shadowless lamp appeared brightly in front of her eyes. She took a deep breath and jumped into the abyss.

Teng Teng, Teng Teng, as if passing through the ancient years flashed in front of her eyes, Qian Yulu instantly opened her eyes wide, and her bright pupils shone with a clear light.She felt the life, the throbbing of the newborn trembled the beating heart, she felt that her soul was being refined, and she felt the faint fetal movement.

She bounced up in an instant, jumped off the bed, kicked over the doctor's operating table, the doctor called her crazy, she just ran out, the tears from the corners of her eyes melted into the wind in her ears, whistling non-stop.

When she walked out of the hospital, that beam of bright light illuminated her clearly, and she still remembers it to this day.

When she came back to her senses, seeing Qian Chen walking back to her room, Qian Yulu shook her head, thought for a while, and suddenly understood that her son had just met Zhao Jigang again.He had always been afraid of his man, and she hated the word concubine.When they first moved here, Zhao Jigang had been taking good care of their mother and son, and it didn't take long for the two to get along well.She really likes the sense of steadfastness and security that man brought her. Even after he knew about her work, he didn't say much. Popping out of the mud swamp for a while, a brief escape from this shitty life.Every time he left with a handful of change, it was as if a piece of his heart had been gouged out, and the emptiness and loneliness instantly invaded every pore of her, rooted in every cell, and he was almost unable to extricate himself.

There was still chicken soup on the table, which she specially prepared for her two men today.

Qian Chen saw it clearly, he saw the white mist steaming from the pot, tightly wrapping the dim yellow oil film, a large piece of tender white chicken protruding from the soup, with reddish edges, like ,It's just like……

The woman's thigh, Qian Chen murmured silently in his heart, turned his head, and flashed back to the room.

The rustling water flowed down the shower to the top of Qian Chen's head, washing away the mud all over his body. He rubbed his left cheek vigorously, even though he grinned in pain.He wanted to rub off this layer of skin, as if he could get rid of that inhuman insult.After repeating it several times, it hurts too much to continue.He waved his hands in the air for a while, as if he was fighting against the enemy, or against this unfair fate.Finally he squatted down, wrapped his hands firmly around his head, and curled up into a ball like a shrimp.

"Wuuuuh..." Intermittent sobbing accompanied by the painful growl of water droplets hitting the wound, all were covered by the sound of dripping water, but the icy water was like hot oil, pouring blood on his eyes and covering his body. fiery...

"Chenchen, change clothes and eat." He wiped his whole body, and then he heard the call from the living room.Only then did he feel that his stomach pouch was empty, and the stomach acid corroded the stomach wall, making him uncomfortable.Stepping forward quickly, the wound was painfully torn, Qian Chen couldn't help grinning and shaking his head, but saw his mother's bedroom appeared in front of him, the door was ajar, just enough for his sight to pass through the gap, falling on the messy room. A strong stench came from the bedding and the fresh liquid that soaked the sheets, and the hunger disappeared instantly. He felt his stomach acid roaring, and he wanted to vomit his soul.

Resisting to sit at the table, he trembled and lowered his head to calm down his emotions.

"Chenchen, let's eat. I specially made soup for you today. Let's see if it tastes good." Qian Yulu's loving voice sounded at the right time. She leaned forward and stretched out her hand to caress Qian Chen's wound.

He raised his head, a large mass of plump breasts almost covered his sight, a strong sense of vomiting came again, the tender white chicken in front of him overlapped with the appearance of his mother negotiating with different men, he had already arrived limit.

"It's all your fucking fault, why did you give birth to me!" roaring like a wild beast, he opened his mouth and pointed his finger at the woman fiercely.

Exhausting all his strength, he pushed Qian Yulu to the ground, reflecting her astonished and frightened eyes, Qian Chen overturned the dining table with both hands.Porcelain rice bowls and soup pots shattered into fragments and fell to the ground, bouncing up and causing several wounds on the man's legs, but he didn't care anymore.

Tears welled up in Qian Yulu's eyes, staining her messy hair everywhere.

"Chenchen..., what's the matter with you..." The woman groaned, pain mixed with fear, she ignored the pain all over her body when she knocked down on the cabinet, and moved forward on half her stomach, trying to hold her son, spreading The oily soup soaked the fiery skirt.

"If it wasn't for you, how could I have suffered so many insults? It's all because of you that I became a bastard without a father. It's all because of you... because of you!"

While speaking, his shoulders began to tremble uncontrollably, and his fingers were also trembling.His face was flushed red, his facial features were tightly twisted together, his anger was dominated by endless pain, and he was also full of tears.

For a moment, the whole room fell into silence, nothing but sobbing.

Qian Chen froze in place, his throat choked but he couldn't utter a word, only the violent ups and downs of his chest showed his excitement.

The two fingers overlapped, and the woman finally pinched the corner of her son's clothes. Before she could open her mouth, the violent blow knocked her to the ground again, and her hand was stuck in the debris, excruciating pain.

"I, never want to see you again..." Without roaring or accusing, Qian Chen clenched his teeth, and the words came out of his teeth.

He finally turned around and opened the door with a limp. Qian Yulu lay on the ground with her hair disheveled, crying loudly behind him, her salty tears dripping into the bright red hand, she watched Qian Chen disappear into the into the endless darkness.