just in time

When Yun Fang unscrewed the cap of the sleeping pill bottle, he felt very calm.

It was an ordinary night that couldn't be more ordinary.

He discussed with Wu He, Chen Qianyang and Zhang Haize in the self-study class how to solve a competition problem the most concisely. The four of them discussed together for half the class. He also had a fight with Chen Qianyang about how to use a formula, jokingly wanting to break up with her.

When school was about to leave, Lao He also said that he had found the test paper for this competition and asked him to go to the office to get it tomorrow, and he smiled and said yes.

On the way home, he ran into Song Cun, who hesitated to speak while watching him.

Yun Fang ignored him, Song Cun followed behind him with his schoolbag on his back, and followed him all the way.

He stopped at the gate of the community, turned around and looked at Song Cun, "Stop following me."

Song Cun's handsome face flushed, "Yes, I'm sorry."

Yunfang looked at him, he and Song Cun grew up together, in his impression Song Cun was a cheerful and sunny person, always very gentle to him, but he was very puzzled, now he can't find anything from Song Cun shadow of the past.

The Song Cun he liked disappeared.

"I'm sorry, Tangtang." Song Cun's tone was very guilty, and he grabbed his hand in panic, "I've already tried to destroy those photos, and nothing will happen!"

"I, I'm very regretful these days, and I've thought a lot about it. All my mistakes are my fault, I'm sorry!" Song Cun apologized to him over and over again, "I actually like you! Tangtang! I like you you!"

Yun Fang bent his eyes and smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes, "Oh, so you like me too."

Song Cun blushed, as if he really liked him, "I, can be your boyfriend! Can you forgive me?"

"Do you want me to forgive you, or do you want to be my boyfriend?" Yun Fang looked at him quietly, "Or, do you want to get my forgiveness through being my boyfriend?"

Song Cun choked.

Yun Fang sometimes dislikes his faults of being inquisitive, and fades away the layer of liking that is full of adolescent hormones. Just looking at Song Cun objectively, he finds that this perfect crush is actually nothing more than that. .

He is cowardly, hesitant, and a little greedy, and likes to play tricks.

Now he is still trying to use the cheap liking in his mouth, as if bearing the burden of humiliation, using his shameless identity to ask for his forgiveness, which is actually used to make up for his inferiority complex and hatred for his cowardice.

Ridiculously selfish.

"I like you." Song Cun seemed to be saying to him seriously.

"Okay." Yun Fang smiled slightly, "If you can enter the top [-] in the next monthly exam, we will be together."

Song Cun's eyes lit up, "Okay, Tangtang, you wait for me."

Yun Fang smiled at him, turned around and entered the community.

It turns out that what he likes is not the real Song Cun, what he really likes is just a perfect crush he imagined.

When he got home, he confessed his sexual orientation to his parents.

Tang Yi, Yun and Yu were shocked and could not accept it. They even got angry because of his blunt speech and attitude, and scolded him rarely.

The reaction was not much different from what he expected.

He sat quietly on the sofa, looked at his parents' rage, and prayed secretly, begging you to be a little more angry and hate me a little more.

It's better to wish I had never been born, so that I won't be sad because of my departure.

He tried his best to play a high school student with a sharp breakdown, but his heart was full of sadness. The ones he made the most sorry for were his parents.

But he is really tired.

He couldn't hold on anymore.

He sat at the desk and wrote a suicide note with sharp words and emotional breakdown with a blank face. At least in the eyes of others, he was an irritable and irrational high school student who acted impulsively because he couldn't bear the accusations of his parents.

He couldn't bear to let his parents blame themselves, but he didn't want to write down those horrible things, and he didn't want those disgusting people to be the reason for his suicide.

He was selfish and willful for the last time, making his parents the reason for his suicide.

He stood up, folded the suicide note and put it under the lamp, and fearing that they might not find it in a hurry, he leaned over and pulled out a small corner.

It contains good reasons for him to help his parents. If others or the police ask about it, they will only lament that he is an ignorant, selfish and impulsive child. It is best to help him comfort his parents.

Then he sat on the bed, unscrewed the bottle cap of the sleeping pill, poured out the fatal amount accurately, picked up the water glass, and swallowed it without hesitation.

He screwed on the bottle cap, put the medicine bottle in a conspicuous place, then went to the kitchen to clean the water glass and put it on the coffee table, and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face.

He went back to the bedroom and closed the door, lay down on the bed and closed his eyes.

Even now, those disgusting guys still refuse to let him go, those noisy images linger in his mind, scolding him for being disgusting and disgusting, stepping on his face, no matter what No matter how hard you struggle, you can't get away.

He is still angry.

He thought about killing those people in the past, and through learning, he realized that there would be no mistakes. Maybe it would take a lot of time, many years, to kill them one by one to vent his anger.

But he didn't want to get his hands dirty, and he didn't want to spend so much time doing such meaningless things, and he didn't want his parents to have a murderer's son.

When he found that he couldn't resolve the anger no matter what, he faintly felt something was wrong, and then, as he expected, he gradually began to lose control of his emotions, and the rationality and calmness he was proud of were vulnerable , collapsed suddenly.

Just because of a couple of irrelevant crappy people.

It frustrates him.

He knew that he had made the stupidest decision. He chose to end his life, causing irreparable harm to his parents. He punished himself with other people's mistakes and tortured his parents. He was simply a fool.

He also clearly knows that he can seek help from a psychiatrist and use drugs to calm his collapsed emotions. When he gets older, he will find that these things he is going through are not a big deal. When he gets older, You can even talk about it with others in an understatement, and then sigh with emotion.

He knew very well that he could analyze what was most beneficial to him, and if it didn't work out, he could settle for the next best thing. In short, he wouldn't be paying his life.

But he didn't choose to commit suicide because of revenge.

He just couldn't stand himself like this.

If he had to find a culprit, then the ultimate murderer was himself, and he was the one who executed the death penalty.

He would rather.

Consciousness gradually began to collapse, and Yun Fang breathed a sigh of relief.

That's it, he couldn't hold on anymore.

I'm just so sorry for my parents.

It would be great if... it would be great if someone could replace him as Yunfang.

Then mom and dad don't have to be sad.

He prayed silently in his heart with his last consciousness, and finally lost consciousness completely.

Finally able to sleep peacefully.