salt by salt

I looked up at myself in the mirror.

The face is still the same, the facial features are well-behaved, there is nothing outstanding, the combination is nothing more than one sentence, which is pleasing to the eye.

There is one advantage of being oblivious to everyone, that is, you don't look old very much.

There is not much difference in appearance between the 30-year-old and the 20-year-old me.But because I gradually became able to hide my emotions and anger, my temperament became calmer, and my gestures became more mature.

I don’t remember how long it’s been since I looked at myself so seriously—times have changed, and now that I’m approaching my age, I no longer care about my appearance as much as I did when I was a teenager.

Although being good-looking can make people's eyes shine, it will not make the other party voluntarily back down during negotiations.People don't care who the partner is, but how much benefit he can bring.

I raised the corners of my lips, bent my slightly drooping eyes, and made a usual standard smile.The smile is warm and friendly enough, but the eyes are very gentle, just like Lu Changbai.

I think the bloodline is indeed cut continuously.Even when he's not around me, we're becoming more and more alike.

The mobile phone that was placed aside buzzed and vibrated, and it was a message from Andre: "Brother, I'll wait for you in the lobby."

I returned an OK expression, and adjusted the collar of my shirt slightly in the mirror.

Today is Wu Yanrui's birthday. Knowing that she loves stories about Disney princesses, I specially held a fairy tale-themed dress-up party for her in the banquet hall.Considering that there were only a few adults present, it would be deserted, so I simply invited all families with children in the hotel to participate——I paid for the whole process.

It's not easy to throw a qualified party. Fortunately, I don't need to worry about these tasks. I hired a professional team to complete them. All I have to do is sign the bill.

Stepping out of the elevator, the corridor into the lobby has been decorated, and roses are blooming everywhere, like a dream.There is a pumpkin carriage at the entrance of the banquet hall, which is exactly the same as the one in the fairy tale movie. I don't know where it was moved from.

I originally thought that only children would be interested in dressing up, but I didn’t expect parents to participate in it enthusiastically. The characters they chose were surprising. There was even a couple who played Mrs. Tea Pot and Mr. Candlestick in Beauty and the Beast.

That's fine... at least the atmosphere will definitely be very lively.

Against the background of a group of strange shapes, Andre, who is wearing a medieval dress, has a straight figure, a striking appearance, and the features of blond hair and blue eyes. He is a well-deserved prince himself.

He was talking to a staff member with his head turned sideways, all the broken hair on his forehead was brushed up, revealing a clean outline, and his beautiful and delicate face was literally shining.

"elder brother--"

While I was staring at him in a daze, Andre had already walked towards me quickly, and asked in a drawn out tone, "How am I looking today?"

The noble and elegant image was instantly destroyed, turning into a large dog wagging its tail.I couldn't help laughing, and nodded: "Well, there is no one more like a prince than you."

His emotions became visible to the naked eye, and his tone became sweeter: "I am your brother's prince!" He lowered his voice and whispered in my ear: "I will still wear this suit tonight, okay...?"

His cheeks became hot all of a sudden, and Andre was used to being shameless. I really had nothing to do with him, and I didn't want to admit that I was captured by the beauty, so I said vaguely: "Let's talk, talk."

But he seemed to have insight into my acquiescence, took my hand contentedly, leaned over and kissed the back of it lightly, and blinked: "Oui, monamour (yes, my dear)."

The gift Sun Ning gave Wu Yanrui was a blue princess dress from Cinderella, which she liked very much, and she was coaxed to put it on immediately, and she even wore a sparkling crystal crown on her head.

Wu Mian took her by the hand and entered the banquet hall. The little girl thought she was invited to play, and she was so happy from ear to ear along the way.

Knowing that I prepared all of this for her, Wu Yanrui sniffled as she looked at the colorful fireworks falling down, and threw herself into my arms: "Jun, brother Junyan... woo woo, you are too Well... I will definitely marry you in the future!"

The faces of Wu Mian and Andre changed color almost at the same time, and they said in unison: "No!"

I smiled slightly, and stretched out my arms to hug her—she was ten years old, and her weight was heavier than I imagined, and I almost choked my breath—fortunately, there was no joke, so I managed to wipe her tears with my hand: "Silly girl , Called brother or Shunzui, I am in the same generation as your Aunt Sun, don’t you remember?”

She pouted, successfully diverted her attention, and stopped talking about marrying me: "I know, but I'm used to it. Besides, I don't want to be called Uncle Andre, he's more like a child than me. "

Andre made a gesture to grab her by the braid, Wu Yanrui hurriedly asked Wu Mian for help: "Daddy, protect me!"

Little Baozi Sun Zhengyi's comprehension is limited for the time being, but he still clapped his hands in Sun Ning's arms and laughed: "Sister Rui Rui! Come on, sister!"

This small episode did not affect everyone's mood, and everyone was very happy. Today's little birthday star also received many greeting cards made by foreign friends and parents.

The children are having fun together, and it is inevitable that they will be a little noisy.

My scalp was numb from the high decibels in the banquet hall. While the children were busy chasing each other and no one was paying attention, I quietly went downstairs to take a breather.

There is an open-air bar in the outdoor lounge area of ​​the hotel. The bartender is a Spaniard. I speak Spanish well, so I chatted with him for a while.Waiting for him to mix drinks for the tourists on the other side, I drank the remaining whiskey in the glass and looked up at the sky.

The night sky is clear and cloudless, and tomorrow must be a fine day.

It's time to go back, otherwise Xiaoshouxing will be very disappointed if he can't find anyone.Just when I wanted to get up, the bartender suddenly returned to my side and handed me a glass of cocktail with a note on it.

Seeing me raise my eyebrows, he winked at me, pouted his lips, and the meaning was obvious: someone wants to strike up a conversation with the opportunity of drinking, and the contact information is written on the note, so there is no need to explain, as everyone understands.

I have already decided to cultivate my body and rest, and I will not be sensitive to any encounters.

Shrugging helplessly, he picked up the note and glanced at it, thinking that I won't contact you anyway, and this thing will go into the trash can later... After seeing what was written on it, he froze in place .

No phone number was written, only a familiar poem.

"If the ocean is destined to burst its banks, let all the bitter waters pour into my heart."

The edges of the paper are a bit worn out, and the writing strength is a bit vain, which is my own handwriting.When Song Cheng was interrogated, the person in charge of the investigation once talked with me about the verses on this note, and my memory is not so bad that I don’t even remember it.

But how did it end up here?

I stood up abruptly, raised my eyes and looked around, but I couldn't see any familiar figure.I clenched the piece of paper with my fingers, and I felt my heart was in a mess, and I couldn't tell the complex emotions in my chest.

Surprised, disappointed, or whatever.

Impossible, Song Cheng should still be in the northwest, he made such a big mistake, he must have been silent for a long time, and he will no longer be able to do whatever he wants like in the past.

Someone patted me on the shoulder, and I was so absorbed in thinking that I took two steps back in fright.Looking back, it was Sun Ning with a confused face: "It's time to cut the birthday cake. I went around for a long time but couldn't find you. What are you doing standing here?"

"It's too noisy inside, come out and have a sit." I suppressed my thoughts, without revealing anything on my face, "Where's your son?"

"I left it to Andre to take care of, I think he's pretty good at coaxing." She frowned and looked at me keenly, "Are you all right?"

I said, "I'm thinking about which sponsors to look for for the next season's touring exhibition. Is it a big deal?"

Sun Ning gave me a blank look: "Private time, refuse to work overtime." After a pause, he stretched out his hand and patted my forehead: "Don't push yourself too hard, the Xu Junyan I know can't even solve this problem People, otherwise I would have jumped ship."

I looked at her pretty face, and my beating heart calmed down.

She said briskly: "The most important thing is to cherish the moment. Let's go, you are the sponsor of tonight's birthday party, how can you get the biggest piece of cake, right?"

At the end of the dress-up party, Wu Yanrui laughed and made a fuss until her voice became hoarse, and she still had a lot to say.

Sun Zhengyi nodded his head in sleepiness, Sun Ning returned to his room early to take care of him, leaving Andre and I to accompany Wu Yanrui to unwrap presents.She opened it halfway, raised her face and asked, "Brother Junyan, can I come to play with you every year?"

I smiled and said, "Okay, but you have to study hard and don't make your mother angry at home."

She promised to keep her word, Wu Mian sighed: "Junyan, I have caused you a lot of trouble."

I was about to answer when I heard Wu Yanrui wow: "This is so cute!"

There is a pink watch in the unpacked box. The large pink diamond inlaid on the dial reflects the dazzling light under the light, and it is worth a lot of money at first glance.

I thought that Andre knew the little girl's hobbies quite well, but when I raised my eyes, I met his suspicious eyes.

I was stunned for a few seconds: "Didn't you send it?"

"I gave that one, and she hasn't opened it yet." He pointed to the biggest gift in the corner, with the same confused tone, "Isn't this from my brother?"

Wu Mian and I looked at each other, he immediately understood, and asked Wu Yanrui who was fond of wristwatches in a gentle voice: "Rui Rui, do you still remember who gave you this thing?"

Without even thinking about it, Wu Yanrui replied directly: "He is a very handsome uncle!"

He gestured twice: "It's about the same height as Andre, and he speaks Chinese—oh, I didn't ask for it at first, but he said his surname was Yang, and he was a friend of brother Junyan. I just accepted the gift and said thank you." Uncle Yang!"

Andre's expression froze for a moment, and he cast a wronged glance at me: "Brother!"

I helplessly raised my forehead, Wu Mian knew about my messy past, so he naturally coaxed Wu Yanrui at this moment: "This watch is too expensive, Dad put it away for you, thank Uncle Yang formally some other day, you can wear it again. "

Although the little girl couldn't put it down, she passed it to Wu Mian sensibly: "Okay."

He patted Wu Yanrui's head: "Brother Junyan also worked very hard today, let Andre accompany you to unwrap the other presents, and dad will send him back to rest, okay?"

Wu Yanrui nodded sharply and smiled sweetly: "Brother Junyan, good night, I am super happy today!"

Although Andre was slightly dissatisfied with this arrangement, the little girl hugged her arms full of expectations, and he couldn't say anything to complain. He muttered: "The wicked guy, who came so far to disturb my brother and me, How thick-skinned..."

Leaving the room, Wu Mian asked me: "Shall I accompany you to the beach for a walk?"

I appreciate his thoughtfulness, but I don't need to be so cautious: "No, I'll just walk around by myself."

He looked worried and said in a low voice: "Let him pass the past, don't worry about it."

"I really don't care." I spread my hands, and said in a brisk tone, "Come on, whether you pass by by chance or want to catch up with old friends, there is no need to worry at all. Now I am not a fish on the chopping board, since they come Yes, and I'd be happy to accompany you."

Wu Mian and I looked at each other, and after a long time he smiled, with a somewhat relieved expression on his face, and said softly: "Junyan, in fact, I told you these words - true love doesn't depend on anyone, it depends on a person. A power that no one can take away, it will make you braver and stronger."

Mother.Father.brother.companion.

The longing and yearning that had never been faced squarely turned into an ever-expanding black hole, pulling away my reason, distorting my soul, until it swallowed up my whole being.

Not enough.

No matter how many beautiful lovers you sleep with, how many tearful vows you get, how many nostalgic warmth you capture, they can't fill the void in your heart.

——Compared to being loved, learn to love yourself first.

I smiled: "I understand. Dr. Wu, I already understand everything."

I step forward, stepping on the milky fine gravel, the tide kissing my toes.

One day in my early twenties, I said that I would commit suicide by jumping into the sea, but I really thought about it.There is no way, life is really bleak, and I am tortured repeatedly in endless pain every moment, I can't see the bright future, I still have to laugh, I have to cheer up, and I have to move forward step by step.

Let go of everything, only when I fall on the pillow can I get a little comfort. I want to fly, I want to close my eyes without opening them. Sleep is my harbor, and death is just a good night without dreams.

But I've been dead, too, and it's no different than living.

I suddenly remembered the shady bedroom in my childhood, the glass windows facing the tall camphor trees in the garden.In the midsummer, I lay on the mat and carefully opened the picture album that I bought with the pocket money I saved for a long time. The wind blew into the room through the half-open window, and the bright green of the branches fell on the paper, full of vitality and hope.

Use a pen to carefully write your name on the title page, stroke by stroke.Xu Junyan, I read silently in my heart, this is Xu Junyan's book.I like it so much, I am so happy, I am so happy, even if no one cares, no one cares about the corner where I grew up, I still feel satisfied.

I used to be such a happy child.

The sea water was a little warm, so soft, it slowly submerged my ankles.Everything is illuminated by silver, losing its original shape in the moonlight.Many images flashed through my mind, and all that remained was the full moon in front of me, hanging brightly and calmly over the sea.

This is the night when I was 29 years old, I stared into the distance for a long time, until someone called my name behind me.

"Xu Junyan—"

I turned around and walked around.

End of full text

It took me two and a half years to write by salt, from February 19 to August 2. It was a long battle. Even I was shocked that I didn't abandon the article and run away.

The ending is not written too straightforwardly. Personally, I feel that everything that needs to be said has been said, and everything is left unsaid.

But in case of misunderstanding, let me explain in plain English: Yanyan felt the long-lost happiness, and was "reborn" at the age when he swore to die. Yang & Song also chased after them. Their story is not over yet, maybe they will Entangled for a long time.

But these are the worlds outside the camera lens. The last scene of Chasing Salt is always fixed at the moment when Yanyan turns his head back. The next road is to bid farewell to the company of readers and let him go by himself.

The following are the author's thoughts on the creative process:

Let me talk about Xu Junyan first.

Although it is this NP (tentatively defined as NP), there is only one protagonist from the beginning to the end, and the main line of my effort to write is also his growth.In the rough outline, there are three key words for his setting: face control, good nature, and unwillingness to bow.

The first point is color control.There is no need to explain, it was fully reflected in the early stage.

The second point, nature is not bad.I have always believed that kindness is not innate, but a choice.The role of Xu Junyan is not so noble and flawless. At the beginning, he also used mean words and behavior as a scumbag. After countless difficult choices, he finally became what he is now.

The third point is not to bow your head.This point is probably inherited. There is a persistent and tough part in his personality that cannot be ignored. No matter how painful his heart is, he can still reject Yang Chen and Song Cheng mercilessly and insist on letting them get corresponding retribution.

Say three more attacks.

Children are the epitome of their parents, and the way San Gong treats their lover is completely copied from their previous generation.Generally speaking, in the second half of the cruel attack on the crematorium, the three of them should cry bitterly, change their appearance, and then pay a small price to successfully end happily.But unfortunately, their changes were not thorough enough, and they happened to meet Lu Changbai's son (Sad), so they were still tortured to the end, and continued to chase their wives for a long time.

(Since Andre has already been punished and has the status of a younger brother, Yanyan showed mercy to his subordinates and gave him the only 1V1 seat in the open ending. In addition, a spoiled man is the best life.)

The topic of chasing salt is the pursuit of a beautiful "face", the pursuit of a handsome "yan" in three attacks, and Xu Junyan's constant pursuit of himself.

After writing the above thoughts, I dug out the humble cover I made for this book in 19, and there was a sentence on it, which was also my heartfelt voice at the time: "May you finally get the love of your life and be loved by others. "

Two years later, I can say frankly that I don't need to live so hard. Compared with being loved, it is more important to love myself.

Thank you for your company all the way, see you in the next book!

Huishan is jealous at noon on 2021.08.23