love like drunk

Gu Wenxi smiled at the phone: "Where do you live?"

"Wen Xi," Du Yunyan told him, "I'll be going back tomorrow."

It was noisy on the side of the road, but every syllable he uttered was clearly distinguishable.

"Then I should see you more." Gu Wenxi said.

"Wen Xi, don't do this."

"What kind? Friends from other places come over, can't I meet? And—" Gu Wenxi said nonsense, "Today is my birthday, so you can fulfill my wish."

Anyway, Du Yunyan didn't know when his birthday was.

Sure enough, the other party hesitated, and after a while, he replied "OK", and then said to him, "Tell me where you are, and I will go find you?"

"No, I'm thinking of you," Gu Wenxi insisted, "Could it be that there are other people around you?"

"What are you thinking?" Du Yunyan smiled helplessly, "Then let me send you a location."

Gu Wenxi was relieved when she saw the dialogue box that had been silent for many days surfaced.He didn't call a taxi through the mobile phone app, but directly got into a taxi on the side of the road.

The car was speeding in the night, Gu Wenxi opened the window on the side of her side, and a slight coolness hit her face.

Du Yunyan's foothold is a very ordinary small hotel near the train station. There is a lot of traffic near the station, and the environment is relatively messy. There are many vehicles parked randomly on the roadside, especially at the hotel entrance.The driver managed to stop the car a few meters away.

Gu Wenxi paid the money, and as soon as she opened the car door, she caught a glimpse of a person waiting under the signboard, wearing a khaki long trench coat, stretching her neck and looking towards the road, with neon lights dancing on her face.

He walked fast, because of dizziness, his steps were a little wobbly, and he came straight to Du Yunyan: "Why did you come out?"

Du Yunyan looked around: "It's a bit messy around here."

Gu Wenxi guessed that he was worried about herself, and felt more comfortable, but she just said bravely, patted him on the shoulder and said, "What is there to be afraid of as a big man?"

They haven't seen each other for half a month. In fact, there is not much change between each other, but Gu Wenxi feels like a world apart. Maybe it's because of the drunkenness. The other person's face is doubled, like a hallucination.

Du Yunyan supported him and dragged him into the front hall.The hotel is old, the condition is average, the elevator is also very old, and the opening and closing doors are extremely slow.

After entering the elevator, Du Yunyan asked him: "Did you drink too much?"

"Is there anyone who doesn't drink on his birthday?" Gu Wenxi simply pretended to be a lie.

Du Yunyan looked slightly hesitant, and asked him, "What date is it today?"

"Huh?" Gu Wenxi stayed at home every day, and had no idea of ​​the time and date, let alone not sober now, "What date is it?"

"You don't even know what your birthday is?"

"Of course I remember, it's ten—"

The elevator dinged, and Du Yunyan walked out first.

Gu Wenxi was half sober, desperately counting the date in her head, and quickly followed: "My birthday is——"

"Okay, don't fool me," Du Yunyan opened the door and invited him in, "Isn't your birthday NO.16 in December?"

Gu Wenxi stayed at the door for a while: "How do you know?"

"ID card!" Du Yunyan looked at him speechlessly, "I registered your ID card, did you forget?"

Maybe he is meticulous in nature, and it is easy to remember such trivial things, so he said it so lightly.However, Gu Wenxi's heart is still like a stone stirring up thousands of waves, unable to calm down.And on his birthday, he still remembered that it was the day when the two of them watched the sunset together, and it was only when they came back from the hillside that he saw the blessing message on his phone.

"You took me to see the sunset that day, was it because of my birthday?"

Du Yunyan was uncomfortably stared at by his too straightforward eyes, and turned his head: "Yes."

Gu Wenxi was glad that she had the cheek to insist on coming to him today, and made up such an outrageous lie, so she knew about this previous episode; at the same time, she also understood that even if she knew that he was making it up, Du Yunyan still chose to indulge her unreasonable demands.

"Hey, what about you?" His eyes lit up, "When is your birthday?"

"My birthday is too early."

"When will it be?" Gu Wenxi asked reluctantly.

"November sixth."

"November..." Gu Wenxi calculated, "Then your last birthday has already passed, right? Why didn't you say it earlier?"

Du Yunyan expressed disdain for his fuss: "Why did you say so earlier?"

"I said earlier that I could prepare a surprise for you."

"You did surprise me—"

His expression seemed to be a smile but not a smile, Gu Wenxi had an ominous premonition, did he do something stupid that day that everyone was angry with?

"Almost blew up my kitchen." Du Yunyan calmly reminded him of this fact.

"Cough," he remembered, and it was because of this that he had a big fight with the other party, "Who told you not to tell me, I don't know."

It's no fun to go over old accounts. Du Yunyan didn't intend to talk about it at first, so he took a pot of water and boiled it: "What are you doing standing there, you can just sit down, you don't have to be too particular about it outside."

Gu Wenxi just took a look at this very ordinary standard room. There was only a small bedside table between the two single beds. It looked like Du Yunyan was sleeping with the quilt spread out.

Gu Wenxi sat on the bed he didn't use: "Have you been living here since you came here?"

"Yes, otherwise where else can I live?"

Gu Wenxi recalled what she saw outside the cake shop that day: "I thought you were at Yunhan's..."

"Yunhan?" Du Yunyan was surprised, "How is it possible, Yunhan lives in the dormitory. He happened to contact me two days ago, and just met up by the way."

"He contacted you?" Gu Wenxi was puzzled, "Didn't you come to see him this time?"

"No." Du Yunyan was silent for a while after finishing speaking.

The water in the pot boiled, Du Yunyan walked to the table, poured two cups of hot water to cool down, and said to him with his back: "One of my former teachers passed away, I'm here to worship her."

"Your former teacher?" Gu Wenxi stood up and walked behind him, "Did you go to school here before?"

Du Yunyan said "um", but still didn't turn her head: "It's my Chinese teacher in junior high school. I left after I graduated from junior high school, and she also retired."

It turned out that he came back for this reason, and he also grew up in S City.These two cognitions all surprised Gu Wenxi, he never thought that they had spent more than ten years in the same place.

"That teacher...has a great influence on you?"

"Well," Du Yunyan nodded again, "She is like another relative of mine, we have kept in touch for more than ten years."

Speaking of communication, Gu Wenxi remembered that when he first added WeChat, he said that he was writing a letter, probably to this teacher.

"I'm sorry, Wen Xi, I received the message the day you left. A few days ago I... I just wanted to be alone and nobody would care about me. On the day Yunhan contacted me, I only told him that he was here to deal with it." It's a personal matter, I can't say it..." His breath was unsteady, but no nasal sound could be heard.

"Then let's not talk about it." In addition to the huge amount of information, Gu Wenxi noticed that the grief in Du Yunyan's heart was far more than what appeared on the surface, and now is not the time to entangle with other issues.He took a step forward, "Yun Yan, can you turn around?"

Du Yunyan turned around slowly, his face was pale, his eyes were clear, and he did not shed tears.

Gu Wenxi opened her hands slightly: "Can I hug you?"

Du Yunyan hesitated for a moment, then nodded: "Yes."

Gu Wenxi wrapped her arms around his shoulders, without using much force, and wrapped them very lightly, with her chin resting on his shoulders.After a few seconds, he finally felt that Du Yunyan also raised his hands to hug his back.

After coming here, Du Yunyan felt at ease for the first time, as if he didn't have to face the nightmare he had been trying to dispel.He half closed his eyes.

"Yun Yan, do you want to cry?" Gu Wenxi asked suddenly.

He opened his eyes again: "I won't cry."

"Have you never cried?"

Du Yunyan let out a breath slowly, remembering what happened a long time ago, it was the last time he cried.

In the first year of elementary school, once in a certain sub-class, the teacher asked everyone to talk about their families. Others mentioned father and mother, but he only talked about mother.The students were very curious and kept asking where his father was, but he couldn't tell.

After returning home, he asked Du Yaning why he didn't have a father. After talking about it, he began to cry softly.But Du Yaning, like a different person, scolded him like crazy, and he still can't forget those words.

"You ask me who should I ask? What right do you have to cry? Why do you feel wronged? I should cry! You are as nothing as that man!" That was also the only time Du Yaning hit him.

For nearly an hour, Du Yaning beat and scolded, but out of fear, he stopped talking and didn't dare to resist, just suppressed his voice and sniffed.Afterwards, Du Yaning began to regret again, hugging him and crying, saying sorry, but he didn't dare to cry anymore.

Since then, Du Yaning's mood has become more and more unstable. He is taking antidepressants, and when he is good, he is very gentle. He has taught him many principles of studying and being a man; It's ugly, saying that he is a bastard, saying that he shouldn't be born, as long as he shows a trace of grievance, it will be even more endless abuse.

Until he learned to hide all negativity.

The feeling of crying has long been forgotten, and he would still say to Du Yaning when she was crying: "Mom, I will cook for you."

Now that he thought about it, he didn't think it was worth lamenting. His mother was a real poor person, and this was their fate.So he said to Gu Wenxi: "What's the use of crying? It will only make people who care about you sad."

"No," Gu Wenxi said, "If I see you cry, I will indeed feel sad, but it's not because you cry, but those things that bring you pain also make me uncomfortable."

Du Yunyan let go of his arms, left his embrace, and turned his back to him, maintaining a certain distance: "Wen Xi, thank you.

In the past, Gu Wenxi could not understand Du Yunyan's indifferent and calm appearance, but now he has a vague feeling that this is just a way for him to protect himself.

Gu Wenxi didn't push him anymore, and breathed a sigh of relief: "Can I stay here tonight? It's too late, I drank a little too much, and I'm too lazy to move." He yawned a little exaggeratedly as he spoke.

"Well," Du Yunyan did not refuse, and put the things on the spare bed on the chair, "Drink some water and go to bed early."

Gu Wenxi insisted that he go to take a bath first, but when Du Yunyan came out of the bathroom, Gu Wenxi had already fallen on the bed, took off his coat, uncovered the quilt, and did not know whether he was really asleep or pretending to be asleep.

"Wen Xi?" Du Yunyan waited for a while, but when there was no response, he patted his shoulder twice, "Shall you go take a shower?"

"Huh?" Gu Wenxi turned over from the prone position, her eyes narrowed slightly, as if she was not awake, "I'm so sleepy."

"It's uncomfortable to sleep like this."

Gu Wenxi is actually not sleepy, but drunk, but not very drunk, just a little bit dizzy, and his consciousness is half free: "It's okay, or...do you want to wipe it off for me?"

Du Yunyan's right hand was still on his shoulder, but his expression froze: "Then how can I do it?"

"Hmm... do you want to avoid suspicion because you are gay?" Gu Wenxi said dazedly, "but you don't have a boyfriend, and I don't care, it doesn't matter how you take advantage..."

Du Yunyan couldn't laugh or cry: "Do you know what you are talking about?"

"What's the matter," Gu Wenxi muttered in a low voice, "If you don't feel anything about me, why would you want to deliberately avoid suspicion? How could you allow me to come to you at night?"

"Obviously you look like—"

"Well," Gu Wenxi smiled with satisfaction, her mouth was a little vague, "If you tell me directly that you don't want to see me at all... I might not come, because I won't force people... Who, who let me You can't bear it."

"Wen Xi," Du Yunyan sighed again, "Stay well with your family."

"Look, you still haven't said that you don't want to see me," Gu Wenxi continued to say half-to herself, "I understand, I will go to you, you are very sad now, don't worry about other things anymore."

After saying this, he tilted his head to the side of the pillow and closed his eyes completely, as if he had fallen asleep.

Du Yunyan sat down by the bed and covered him with the quilt. He muttered, "But you have to wait for me."

Strange emotions stuck in his chest, and it took a while before Du Yunyan was able to get rid of the unspeakable soreness.He carefully pushed Gu Wenxi's bangs back behind his ears.