moon boy

Ainur and I came to the lake, sat on the shore and watched the beautiful scenery in front of us quietly.Those Tibetans who worshiped by the lake have disappeared. Ainuer said that their life is very primitive and very busy. It is already very good to take a little time out of their busy schedules to worship.

Looking at the extremely clear lake water, I couldn't help but ask, "Can I swim?"

"Okay, no one cares about you," said Ainur, who dipped his hand into the lake, and said, "but the water is a bit cold now, we'd better wait all morning, let the sun warm the water, by three o'clock in the afternoon Swim at four o'clock."

Immediately I looked forward to this afternoon, but wouldn't it be rude to go into the water in just shorts without swimming trunks?But I can't remember clearly, I seem to have changed into a pair of boxer shorts today, which look like swimming trunks.

Thinking of this, I quietly reached into my trousers to see which underpants I was wearing.

Suddenly, Ainuer's voice, holding back a laugh, came from my ear: "What are you doing, in front of the holy lake." I was shocked by him, and explained to him for a long time, Ainur still Laughing, as if I was caught on the spot.

I checked that there was no one around, and leaned my head on Ainur's shoulder, and said, "That Uighur girl seems to be called Ibadati, does she like you very much?"

"Yeah," Ainu'er stretched out his arms to wrap my arms around me, "There are so many Uighur girls who like me, but I only like you."

I slapped him on the back: "Shao Poor, Ibdati told me."

"Oh... I didn't know she told you, I thought she would never tell you," Ainur was not particularly surprised, "She knows I like you."

"She also said that, that girl is very nice and tolerant, and why is she so open?"

"How did she open up?"

"She doesn't think it's awkward for us two men to be together. We Han people and many people don't accept homosexuality..."

Ainur interrupted me: "I have always disagreed with this word, "homosexuality", it seems to have a derogatory connotation. To like someone is to simply like it, regardless of gender. Who stipulates that you must like the opposite sex?"

Why?Ibbadati also seems to have said, "Who stipulates that you must like the opposite sex"?A sentence full of domineering and heroic but very reasonable.It turns out that their "enlightenment" is actually pure, pure liking, no matter men or women, regardless of the consequences, liking is liking, and they can face it calmly.

"I didn't like people of the same sex before." I squeezed Ainur's palm.

"But speaking of it, have you ever been in love before?"

I truthfully confessed: "I talked about it, with the little girl."

"Do you like them so much? You want to hug and kiss them so much?"

"No... go, go, go, what's your problem." I pushed Ainu'er, my face seemed to be on fire.

"If it's not like this, how can it be considered a real liking?" Ainur turned his head to look at me, and I could see his sparkling eyes, "It's like I like you so much, I want to kiss you anytime."

Saying that, Ainur kissed me on the lips.Sunshine, snow-capped mountains, grasslands, lakes, quiet environment, plus my favorite person, it should be very romantic, but I have been looking at that inn nervously, afraid of being bumped into by grandpa and grandma.

I continued to lean my head on Ainur's shoulder, and suddenly remembered what Zhang Qiling said, and asked him, "Do you think 'meaning' has any meaning?"

Ainuer was stunned for a long time without answering, and squeezed my chin: "Why do you ask such a strange question all of a sudden?"

"It's not 'suddenly'," I sighed quietly in my heart, "I've struggled with this problem for a long time."

"But it never occurred to me..."

"Then tell me this, what do you think is the meaning of your life?" I have read countless articles saying that the meaning of life lies in dedication, but I think this is just a slogan, and no one's life lies in dedication.

"To be honest, the meaning of my life lies in that belief."

"Oh...that's it." I expected this answer, and I understood how important that unknown belief was in his heart.

"Huh? Strange," Ainur looked at me, as if he had discovered something, "You're not angry."

I was full of doubts: "Why are you angry?"

"Because I said the meaning lies in that belief, not you."

"The meaning of your life lies in me?" I thought to myself, romance is romance, but it is a bit hypocritical, "You have your own choice, you don't have to blame me. Compared with faith, I am nothing."

Ainu'er hugged me and rubbed against me twice: "You are really a good wife and mother."

"..."

"Actually, you and belief are almost as important, but if I say you, I would be too indebted to my ancestors. The meaning of our nation's existence lies in that belief."

"If you don't have faith, the meaning of your life is me?"

"Correct."

I smiled: "Then I am very satisfied."

Ainur asked me: "Then what is the meaning of your life?"

"I don't know, I'm much more at a loss than you."

"Let's put it this way, what is your purpose for coming to Hoh Xil?"

I thought about it for a long time, and gave an answer that has been revised countless times: "At first, I followed the professor for no purpose, just to complete the task, or even go to prison, because I didn't get along well with my teammates. Later, I saw the particularly beautiful night in Hoh Xil and saw our mountain, and I felt that the beauty seemed to have changed me a little bit."

"Well, well said, let's continue." Ainur encouraged me to recall.

"But I didn't know what this change was until I met you. At first I didn't like you very much, but you let me see some wonderful things in Hoh Xil, such as religion, such as belief, such as the magical pool The caves, caves, and golden eagles, whether natural or man-made, make me feel that Hoh Xil is not so ordinary, or not so simple.

"I think since then, my purpose has changed. I started to want to make myself 'a little bit different'. Even though I still understand that when I go home, I have to be a city person, After finishing school, working, getting married and having children, I was under pressure all day long and became depressed and irritable, but at that time I was still planning to go home.

"But it's really tempting to 'be a little bit different'. It's a little bit different, maybe it's learning a secret, maybe seeing a scene that no one else sees, maybe understanding a hard-to-understand knowledge. These things can set me apart from others, and they are all very attractive.

"Later I fell in love with you. My goal was simple: to stay with you in Hoh Xil. But I still want to be different. After all, my life was too routine before. Before I came to Hoh Xil and met you, I always felt that My own life sucks, I can't control my own destiny at all, but now, I can. Maybe this is "a little bit different."

Ainuer looked at me quietly, the sun slanted on his face, making him look extremely handsome."Actually, you should always want to be different," he said.

"Where do you start?"

"Did you ever want to learn anything when you were a kid?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation, "skating. I fell in love with figure skating when I was 12 years old. I went to skate once or twice. The teacher said that I was very resilient and would learn well. But that At that time, my father’s company just closed down, and he spent all his time drinking to drown his sorrows, and was angry with me, and he would not spend a lot of money to let me buy skates and send me to learn to skate. I cried quietly all night, feeling very wronged and Disappointed. Wanting to learn something is a good thing, but it can’t be realized. For this reason, I never went to the ice rink again, because I would be envious and jealous when I saw others learning figure skating. After that, skating became my lifelong passion. Pity."

"Oh..." Ainuer sighed and hugged me tightly, "My poor little boy, if I were your father..."

"Go aside!"

"Have you ever thought about what growth is?"

I honestly shook my head.

"In the process of growing up, you will continue to become smarter and more mature. Everyone is motivated. As you said, they all hope to master the skills they like. You were also very motivated when you were young. Maybe your growth environment temporarily buried it. It hurt your self-motivation, and caused you to be very confused and world-weary when you were a good young man. Am I right?"

I nodded.

"You want to learn something, become mature, these growing things, aren't they all 'becoming a little bit different'?"

I suddenly trembled.So, this is what "becoming a little bit different" means?

Ainuer went on to say: "Continuously improving yourself while growing up is also different. Only those who are not motivated will not want to be different. Whether you are tired of following the rules or want to learn , I can say that until now, your growth has not ended, because you still have the desire to grow."

I didn't bother to nod, because I think what Ainuer said really made sense.

"Being different, it's very simple, it depends on how you understand this 'different'. I just heard you say, learn a secret, see all the beauty, gain knowledge, I think these are very good, they are easy to do, And it really does make a difference.”

"Yeah," I laughed, "the golden eagle took me away because I thought the pool was strange and wanted to explore it, 'learn a secret', so I moved the pool... oh yes !"

Ainu'er was startled by me: "It's here again, I'm so startled, sooner or later I'm going to have a heart attack from being scared by you."

"I'm sorry, I was so excited that I didn't ask you one thing."

"what?"

"There is a whirlpool in the pool, why does it rotate clockwise?"

"Oh, no wonder, I also asked Grandpa this question at the time. The magnetic field of that mountain is very strong and weird. I can only say this, because I can't explain how strong and weird it is."

Ainuer explained it to me in just one sentence, and I was a little bit unwilling... I regretted that I didn't study physics when I went to college, but studied a shabby geology.However, if I don't study geology, I won't meet Ainur, right?

"Where did I just say?" I asked Ainur.

"I learned a secret, so I moved the pool."

"Ah, yes. I really think it's weird..."

"Actually, I can take you to see that belief." Ainur said slowly.