madness

In the middle of the night, it rained heavily, crackling and making loud noises, the dusk was deep, and the sky, the earth, and the sun and moon were not visible.

The whole world is enveloped in the single sound of rain, and beyond that there is nothing, nothing exists.

Su Zhiyun was woken up by the sound of the rain, and it was dark at night, only a few shadows of trees outside the window were mottled and snow-white, like the shadows of broken butterflies, dimly illuminating the way forward.

When he pushed the door to go out, the soles of his feet softened, and he looked down, only to find that it was a dark green skirt, which was connected to a girl, a small ball, with lonely arms and thighs exposed from the short sleeves of the skirt. .

She was thin, curled up in sleep, her hair falling limply over her shoulders like some little rain-soaked animal.

Tiny, poor.

As if keenly aware of some kind of omen, the swallow quickly woke up.

She raised her head in a daze, and after a while, her eyes gradually showed a clear look. When she saw Su Zhiyun, she subconsciously wanted to laugh, but as if she realized something, she forcibly held back.

"Are you awake?"

"Why are you sleeping here alone?"

The two spoke in unison.

It was Yanzi who was the first to react. She stood up in a hurry, stretched out her hands to straighten her hair and skirt, and showed a flattering smile: "I was afraid that you would be afraid of staying in the hospital alone, so I wanted to accompany you, but there is no place in the ward. There were also people sleeping on the seats outside."

She waited, but Su Zhiyun didn't answer her, just raised his hand and froze in the air, after a while, he tapped the corner of Yanzi's mouth lightly.

Yanzi froze on the spot, and it took him a long time to react. She hid back a little bit at a loss, and said with a smile on her mouth: "I met an unreasonable eighth woman on the road, and I fought with her. That three-eighth is quite strong." big."

Su Zhiyun just stood quietly, without saying a word, as if he could see through her disguise of being strong on the outside and being weak on the inside, and could see through her mood through her forced smiling face.

He didn't say a word, Yanzi also forced to do nothing, looked back at him with wide eyes, and refused to avoid his eyes no matter what.

Yanzi's eyes were tight and tired, and suddenly her pupils dilated, and her whole body trembled - Su Zhiyun reached out and touched her head.

Clumsy and silent.

Just because of this, Yanzi almost couldn't help crying.

Just now the wound that didn't seem to hurt started to hurt again, Yanzi's eye sockets were also hot and sore and swollen, she really wanted to throw herself into his arms and cry, or grab Su Zhiyun by the collar and scold him bloody Head, scolding him why he kept it from himself, would he still rob the person he likes?

But those words finally got stuck in her throat, and disappeared on Su Zhiyun's fingertips when he reached out to touch her.

Probably because the fingertips were too warm, so she couldn't say a word of reproach.

Yanzi lowered her head little by little, and slowly buried herself in Su Zhiyun's arms. After a while, Su Zhiyun gradually felt that her chest was hot and humid.

It seems that someone has suffered a lot of grievances, and then shed a lot of tears.

And Su Zhiyun also remained silent, allowing her to rub the melted tears, foundation and eyeliner on her clothes unceremoniously.

……

When the nurse came to see her the next day, she was dumbfounded to find that the two of them had slept together in the hospital bed.

To be precise, it can't be regarded as sleeping in a ball, but most of the bed is occupied by swallows, sleeping with pink cheeks, and the real patient Su Zhiyun is lying on the edge of the bed, only sleeping on a small piece Son.

She sighed, but didn't wake them up, she closed the door lightly and went out.

Last night, the nurse saw the little girl standing outside alone, and told her to go back and wait without going back. She just twisted her fingers in a daze, and said anxiously, "I don't have any money to stay in the hotel."

She looked at this girl who was not much older than her own daughter, and she didn't say anything serious.

Su Zhiyun still woke up Yanzi. She sat on the hospital bed dangling her legs, her eyes were still swollen, and her expression became carefree again. She sniffed and said in a low voice, "When will you go back?"

"Going back to the villa?"

Swallow shook his head: "Go back to us."

Su Zhiyun was silent for a moment: "I can't go back."

The ward suddenly became quiet, Yanzi pursed her lips, stared at Su Zhiyun, and found that he was not wearing her own clothes, but the clothes Gu Zehuan was wearing when he came to see him yesterday.

"Is it because of Gu Zehuan?"

Her expression was stubborn and stubborn, full of determination not to hit the south wall and swear not to look back.

It is probably difficult for anyone to refuse such a pair of eyes.

Su Zhiyun avoided her eyes: "It is."

"Why? Do you like him that much?"

Perhaps it was because of the heavy rain last night, the temperature dropped sharply, the swallow felt a little cold, and couldn't help but hunched over a little.

She heard Su Zhiyun being silent for a long time, and then said: "Do you know the withdrawal reaction? It is a special psychological syndrome that occurs after stopping the use of drugs, reducing the dose, or using antagonists to occupy receptors. Simply put, it is the inability to Get off the medication."

Su Zhiyun lowered his head and grabbed his collar, shrugged his nose slightly, and could still smell some residual smell that belonged to Gu Zehuan.

"Only when Gu Zehuan is by my side can I not get sick. If I leave him, I will have a strong withdrawal reaction."

The half-knowledgeable and ignorant Yanzi looked at Su Zhiyun, frowning childishly.In fact, she doesn't quite understand the term withdrawal reaction, nor can she really understand the meaning of it.

She just suddenly remembered a neighbor she once knew, because it was too long and too far away, she couldn't remember the neighbor's name or what she looked like.

I just remember that he seems to be very good at reading. When the children downstairs in the old-fashioned residents were all wearing brightly colored and tacky cotton-padded jackets lying on the ground and playing marbles dirty, he already knew how to wear a snow-white sweater in the house. read.

Occasionally, Swallow would quietly lie on the window to watch him, secretly picked pink roses, struggled through the rusty anti-theft window, stretched into the glass window that was often opened, and carefully placed it on the dilapidated and withered desk.

She still doesn't understand what kind of emotion this is, but when she sees her neighbor stretch out her slender, strong-boned hand and gently pick up the pink rose, Swallow will feel proud and excited from her heart.

She regards this as a spiritual adjustment, as a secret that cannot be shared between herself and her neighbors. For her, the neighbors are the candy that makes the ordinary life sweet and sweet.

Then the neighbor who looked clean and soft jumped off the building and committed suicide.

I heard that he failed the college entrance examination, his composition was off topic, and his math and English were not satisfactory. The gap between his score and the previous estimate was very large. He couldn't continue studying.

His body was found in the early morning. The blood had dried up and stained the white shirt he usually wore. He was like a piece of cake that had been cut to pieces, bursting colorful and colorful chocolates from under the covering white cloth.

Others said that the neighbor was so stupid that he only had this one thing on his mind, which was too crazy and abnormal.

Yanzi wanted to go to see her neighbor's funeral, but unfortunately, her aunt didn't allow her to go out to play that day and locked her at home.

She had no choice but to lie on the window sill and watch the funeral van, with a large white flower hanging on it, crumbling in the wind.

She thought about it, maybe for Su Zhiyun, Gu Zehuan was that book, the only motivation that supported him to move on and live.

Yanzi's expression suddenly became a little worried.

But is this correct, normal?

It seemed crazy, irrational, and would shatter into pieces.

She saw Su Zhiyun's cell phone rang, and the young man answered the phone, a bright white, shining radiance gradually exuded from his body, like a green seedling that was suddenly watered by rain, and suddenly became energetic again , jubilant.

But Yanzi blinked again, knowing that it was her fantasy, but she also did know who it was calling - Gu Zehuan.

Only Gu Zehuan could break Su Zhiyun out of such a barren and pale state.

Let the burnt ruins be revived.

……

Because it was not a major operation, Su Zhiyun was discharged from the hospital soon, and even the doctors were amazed by his recovery ability.

When he returned to the villa, Gu Zehuan was alone in the swimming pool, and his reflection was like mottled fresh snow, reflected inch by inch on his back and arms.

When he saw Su Zhiyun coming, he stopped swimming, stopped his movements, lay down on the shore, raised his head slightly, and stretched out a hand straight to Su Zhiyun, water droplets rolled down from the tip of his hair, eyelashes stained It shines like a diamond without water stains.

Su Zhiyun remained silent, neither speaking nor responding, so Gu Zehuan raised his head to look at him, unable to see what was in his mind, almost showing a little innocent look that was the same as when he was a teenager.

Su Zhiyun thought of Gu Zehuan in the past, and his mind was in a mess. He should have a condescending posture, looking down at the other party, but he couldn't feel any sense of superiority.

After a long while, Su Zhiyun sensed Gu Zehuan's perseverance, so he bent down and knelt down to pull the siren in the water ashore.

When he held Gu Zehuan's hand, he felt cold, extremely cold, not at all like a warm-blooded animal.

Like some kind of cold-blooded animal ready to go, just waiting for an opportunity to bite off the neck of its prey.

When he realized that Gu Zehuan was also pushing back, Su Zhiyun suddenly woke up. He wanted to let go, but Gu Zehuan held his hand tightly, so hard that there seemed to be no flesh between his hands, only finger bones rubbed against each other, creaking ring.

He was in pain, and only heard a "bang", and fell into the swimming pool together, splashing a huge splash.

Su Zhiyun couldn't swim, so he choked several times in a row, his throat was burning hot, his body suddenly came into contact with the icy cold water, his body temperature dropped rapidly, he couldn't adapt, and it was difficult to breathe for a while.

Unknowingly, he fell backwards, his body sank, and he was about to drown in the water of this side of the pool.

The jagged surface of the pool in front of you reflects the distorted night sky.

His outstretched hand was grabbed.

Gu Zehuan seemed to have had enough fun, grabbed him, and pulled him out of the water.

The author says:

①From Baidu Encyclopedia withdrawal reaction explanation