madness

Drowsy, dark dreams.

Accompanied by the surging dizziness, the sky is blocked out.

Su Zhiyun raised his head and looked at the cherry trees in the courtyard, lost in thought.The cherry tree has luxuriant branches and leaves, growing wantonly, full of snow-white petals, and many of them will fall down when the wind blows.

"what are you doing here?"

It was the voice of a young man, wearing thin-rimmed glasses, combing his hair back, and wearing a clean white shirt. He smiled with curved eyes and was amiable.

Su Zhiyun looked up at the treetops: "There is a cat trapped on it."

The young man took a few steps back, squinted his eyes and looked at it for a while, then placed the book in his hand under the tree, and climbed up on the branch by himself.

"come here."

After the young man went up, he patted the branch in front of him.

The snow-white, plush toy-like kitten wobbled towards the young man.

The other party carefully hugged the kitten into his arms, let out a breath slowly, relieved, and showed a little shy expression: "Fortunately, it's okay, I haven't climbed a tree in trousers for so long, I just thought my clothes were going to collapse It's over."

"Is this your cat?"

asked the youth.

Su Zhiyun shook his head: "No, it seems to be a wild cat."

The kitten like glutinous rice dumpling was still whining in his palm, pitifully, it kept sticking out its little pink tongue to lick its wet nose, the young man in glasses lowered his head slightly, and said with pity: "It must be hungry Well, this cat is so small, maybe it hasn't even weaned its milk yet."

He put the kitten into his pocket, fastened the buttons carefully, and climbed down from the overgrown branches.

The kitten seemed to be very scared, and kept grabbing the young man's pocket, meowing.

The young man landed quietly, patted the dust on his pants, and looked up at Su Zhiyun: "Does your family live near here? I don't seem to have seen you much."

Su Zhiyun saw that there was still a dirty mark on his fair cheek, and the other party smiled with a kind of warmth and innocence almost like a small animal, his eyes were bent, like clear water gurgling.

"No, this is my grandparents' house."

"Oh, that's no wonder. I said I've been living here, and I don't seem to have seen you much." The young man took the kitten by the back of the neck and took it out of his pocket. The kitten seemed to regard his fingers as a The pacifier kept sucking desperately: "I see you have been looking at this kitten, do you want to take him back?"

Although he said so, his expression was a little reluctant.

"No, you can keep it."

Su Zhiyun turned his eyes away, lacking interest.

"Hey, do you want to make a friend? Just think that this kitten is raised by the two of us together. You are also very reluctant to part with this little guy."

The other party stopped him.

Su Zhiyun paused, then stopped: "I don't make friends with people who are much older than me."

"I'm only in my twenties this year, and you're too young." The overwhelming snow-white cherry blossoms fell on the young man's dirty shirt. Let me introduce myself, kid."

"Crash" sounded.

There was a gust of wind.

The leaves whirled and swayed, and an unknown heavy snow fell.

"My name is Tang Hong, how about you?"

The snow-like cherry blossoms were profuse, and a translucent, plump little mushroom grew from the wet corner of the wall. A drop of water fell from the canopy and landed on Tang Hong's black shoe.

He was silent for a while: "Su Zhiyun."

The youth said: "It's a good name."

It was a hopeless, jaw-chilling memory, just thinking about it made my whole body shudder, sticky and wet like a gangrene, lingering.

……

Waking up from the unfriendly dream, Su Zhiyun was sweating coldly on his forehead.

The familiar name made a clogged and stagnant vomiting feel in his throat.

come surging.

Splitting headache.

His mind was dizzy, like a rusty machine, and it took a while to spin up again. Su Zhiyun struggled to open his eyes, and saw another face in the soreness and dizziness, reflecting the A little bit of beautiful moon shadow, Yushu Qionghua.

It was snowing heavily outside the window.

All sounds are silent.

The mobile phone shows 03:30 am Beijing time.

Cold sweat broke out on the back, wet the clothes, and it was bitingly cold, Su Zhiyun shrank under the quilt, stretched out his hand involuntarily, and stopped when he was about to touch the other's cheek.

Gu Zehuan seemed to be in a deep sleep. If it wasn't for the slight ups and downs in his chest, it would make one suspect that this is a lifeless sculpture.

The surrounding area is very quiet.

There was only the sound of rustling snow.

Su Zhiyun's hand fumbled under the quilt, and held his palm, which was warm.

The sound of the pulse pulsated with the heartbeat in the palm of his hand.

bang bang.

bang bang.

The drowsiness and drowsiness gradually came back, and the stagnant sourness slowly receded like a tide.

Su Zhiyun slowly closed his eyes and fell into the soft and fluffy bedding.

His fingertips seemed to warm up a little bit.

After a while, Gu Zehuan opened his eyes, very clear.

No sleepiness.

……

The next day, the little fat man was woken up by calling the phone. Su Zhiyun touched the phone next to the pillow, swiped it open, and it was connected. There was an unexpected noise on the other end.

As if in some crowded place.

The voice of the little fat man came through the mobile phone, and it seemed a little distorted in the hazy drowsiness: "How is it? Have you woken up?"

Su Zhiyun sat up, the aftereffects of the hangover made his mind confused, and every hair tip felt like a needle prick: "Well, I just woke up."

"Oh, by the way, I haven't told you Happy New Year yet. It snowed last night. Did you see it?"

Su Zhiyun looked out along the empty edge of the bed, and the world was covered in silver, dazzlingly white.

It was also cold next to the pillow.

No popularity.

Su Zhiyun was a little sleepy and confused, he blinked his eyelashes lightly.

"I see, it's snowing heavily."

The little fat man was silent for a while: "Actually, I want to tell you that I might be going back today."

"Are you going back to America today?"

The little fat man said "hmm": "It's not good to go back too late, I just asked for leave to go back to China."

Su Zhiyun lay on the window sill, exhaled, and drew a crooked smiling face on the glass.

Many round, chubby radish heads came out from every house. They were all playing snowball fights, smiling happily, and they didn’t get angry when the snowball hit their faces. Their fingers and cheeks were red from the cold.

Someone was cleaning the snow on the road, and the neighbor next door came out to take out the garbage in pajamas with his neck shivering and trembling.

Su Zhiyun looked at it for a long time: "I seemed to see Gu Zehuan last night, did you let him stay?"

The little fat man said: "Yeah, you were too drunk yesterday, and my parents urged me to go home again. I really had no choice but to let Gu Zehuan take care of you."

Su Zhiyun didn't speak anymore, his forehead was pressed against the cold glass, and strands of chill seeped in.

So cold.

Aware of Su Zhiyun's silence, the little fat man spoke again, tentatively and cautiously: "Although this is not appropriate for me to say, but you like Gu Zehuan, right?"

Su Zhiyun let out a "hmm".

Since the promulgation of the regulations prohibiting the setting off of fireworks and firecrackers, every family has stopped setting off firecrackers during the New Year, and the streets on the first day of the new year seem a little quiet.

Only the laughter of children echoed through the streets.

Naivety.

"But he doesn't like me."

He said.

The little fat man stopped talking, and after careful consideration, he spoke again: "Why can't I change my request? Since he won't like you, then you will become his special and irreplaceable existence. Let no one Can’t replace you, replace you, so it’s another kind of monopoly from another level, right?”

There was still a smell of disinfectant in the air. In order to make Su Zhiyun's voice clearer, the little fat man walked into the hall from the crowd and found an empty chair to sit down.

The weather was so cold that his fingers were red and swollen. The little fat man put his cold fingertips in his mouth, feeling as if he had bitten on a hard popsicle.

And not sweet at all.

"I don't think you need to be so discouraged. Although Gu Zehuan doesn't like you, he doesn't necessarily like others."

As he said this, he counted the time. With the corridor-like structure, through the clear glass, he could see many doctors in white coats running back and forth on different floors.

Su Zhiyun asked: "Aren't you going to stop me?"

The little fat man gave a wry smile.

"Is it useful to stop you?"

He thought of Su Zhiyun's appearance yesterday, and sighed: "What is the definition of love? Is it to want to be nice to another person, or is it just that the existence of another person is special to you, or do you want to get another person?" The love of one person? The love of ordinary people can also be replaced, there will be a seven-year itch, there will be cheating, and maybe you will be defeated by reality. As long as your relationship becomes irreplaceable and unique in the end, it will be fine.”

The snow-white tiles are shining, reflecting the little fat man's cheeks. He picked up a piece of bubble gum paper thrown by others on the ground, and threw it into the trash can beside him. He said indifferently: "I knew someone before, Dad His mother is not a top rich man, but at least he is not short of him. When he was a child, he was not short of food and drink. He had neither too many nor too few friends. He was no different from ordinary children. He always thought that his parents were in love , and also believed so firmly, and everyone told him so. Until his father was terminally ill recently, and it was found to be terminal lung cancer, his mother divorced his father and transferred most of the property. He came to make trouble at home with a will, his father’s signature is on the will, but the first heir is not his name.”

"That's when he realized that whether it's his father or his mother, both of them have lovers outside."

"It's actually ridiculous. After all, in everyone's mind, his parents are a model couple with deep affection."

The little fat man said to himself, he took out a piece of chocolate from his pocket, opened it and put it in his mouth.

The chocolate melted little by little, turning into a sticky, slippery sweetness with a little bit of bitterness.

"I don't want to be like everyone else telling you to let go and go back to 'normal' in most people's eyes, because I never thought you were abnormal, you were no different from everyone else, I always thought you were fine, they just didn't know you .”

"But it always feels a little nasty to say such things." The little fat man laughed, and fell silent again. The air was cold, and he could smell a little ice and snow retrospectively: "Even if you let go, so what, return to the eyes of most people The mediocrity and normality here, and then become the same as most people. Marry a wife who neither likes nor hates, lives a life step by step, experiences the seven-year itch, goes through the middle-aged crisis, and flutters the colorful flags outside. Will the red flag not fall at home?"

"But Su Zhiyun, this isn't you."

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