madness

Around July, the small county town ushered in the rainy season, and the humidity was so high that it was unhealthy and hot. If clothes were left in the bucket for a few days without washing, colorful mold spots would grow.

There were several dirty stray cats squatting at the entrance of the canteen, looking up at the raindrops falling from the plastic canopy, and they were all crowded together to hide in places without water.

He doesn't seem to like the rain very much.

Someone always feeds them ham, so these stray cats are not afraid of people. Su Zhiyun stood under the canopy, and they eagerly rubbed his trousers.

The pace of life in a small county is very slow, so time seems to slow down, and you can spend it recklessly, but most of the time Su Zhiyun doesn't know what to do, and there seems to be nothing to do.

He sleeps when there is no one around, or watches TV, and there are only a few TV channels in the canteen, which is better than nothing.

He rented some DVDs and always watched them at night. Sometimes he fell asleep while watching them. When the effect of the medicine wore off, he woke up again and got up groggyly. The TV was still buzzing. .

Even at night when there is only one person, it looks lively.

He still often dreamed, those treacherous and bloody nightmares. When he woke up, his heart beat fast, and the sweat and heart palpitations on his forehead made him hear the sound of the heart beating in his chest.

Because he worked two jobs and had almost no time to rest, Su Zhiyun soon fell ill. He was guarding the door at Brother Li's place and suddenly passed out, which shocked everyone.

Swallow said he was sick and wanted to take him to see a doctor.

Su Zhiyun ignored her, and after waking up, he didn't show any gesture of gratitude, so he just couldn't talk about it.

The swallow jumped angrily.

"If you die of illness, forget it."

She had a hard mouth and said a lot of nasty things, nothing more than accusing Su Zhiyun of wanting money but not his life, and also saying that if Su Zhiyun wanted to die, he could just find a place to jump off the building by himself, and don't torture himself in front of her.

Although the words were not pleasant to listen to, Su Zhiyun was stunned.

In the eyes of outsiders, does he want to die? That seems to be the case. He has been indulging and torturing himself, but the reason is not purely for the sake of death.

From this, Su Zhiyun also felt puzzled. He was sure that he had no suicidal thoughts, but he didn't seem to have a strong desire to survive, so what was he doing now?

Seeing that he didn't speak, Yanzi thought he had nothing to say, so he became even angrier and began to curse.

After a while, Su Zhiyun shook his head lightly: "I didn't want to seek death."

"Then who are you showing this half-dead posture?"

Su Zhiyun stopped talking, his eyelashes were drooping, and he still had a sick look that could be crushed with his hands, but his expression was a little confused.

Swallow saw that he was himself and didn't want to understand.

She knew that Su Zhiyun's mind was abnormal, and his thoughts and thinking logic were quite strange. He seemed to have no empathy for people, he was cold, and he didn't show much emotion. Sometimes what he said was so naive.

However, the fragility he showed occasionally made Yanzi really unable to let go easily. She always felt that Su Zhiyun looked like if you didn't reach out and grab him, he could fall off the cliff and break into pieces.

Swallow sighed, ran downstairs, and came up again with a bowl of rum for eggs.

"Eat it, eat this and sleep and get sick."

She used a tone like coaxing a child, which made Wen Lili next to her laugh so hard that her flowers trembled wildly.

"Those who don't know think you are a mother."

Yanzi blushed when she heard the words, and soon became annoyed again. She frowned and grabbed Wen Lili's arm: "What nonsense? I think it's because you want to be a mother when you are young?"

Wen Lili was not as strong as her, so she quickly made a fuss on the ground and surrendered, raising her hands with an innocent face: "I was wrong, I was wrong, Sister Yanzi, please forgive me."

In the end, Su Zhiyun drank less than half of the bowl of sweet wine and eggs, and then casually put it on the table.Yanzi was taken out by the guests, and Wen Lili was cutting his toenails, and when she saw that he stopped drinking, she asked, "Don't you want it?"

"No more."

So Wen Lili washed her hands and drank the remaining half of the bowl in a leisurely manner.

Su Zhiyun saw that there were still a few books on her table, so he couldn't help reading them a few more times, so Wen Lili asked with a smile, "Why, you also read "Crime and Punishment"?"

Of course he didn't read it, but it was inappropriate for these books to appear here.

Wen Lili is a newcomer in the past few days. She is very stylishly dressed, like a girl in her twenties in the city, not like one in the county. She is especially beautiful. She is not a girl-like beauty, but very feminine. She's pretty, with a slender waist and plump buttocks, full of style.

In the beginning, the girls here were a little run on her because of this, but it wasn't until they realized that Wen Lili was really a careless and talkative person, that the relationship gradually eased.

Su Zhiyun could sense that she didn't belong here, but Wen Lili didn't reveal anything, and couldn't see anything else.

Wen Lili burped after drinking the bowl of sweet wine and eggs. She rubbed her belly and smiled.

"I really admire you."

Su Zhiyun didn't know where her envy came from, maybe it was too obvious, Wen Lili said: "You are a man, you really have no money, and you can still work hard to make money, even if you are in the same place as us, you don't need money." Sell, just look at us."

"Besides, none of the girls here are targeting you. You are handsome and tall. It's good if they don't flatter you. I want to have a good relationship with them, and I have to try my best to please you."

Su Zhiyun didn't know how to respond to these words.

So Wen Lili said again: "Just kidding, don't take it to heart."

It's just that the previous tone didn't seem to be a joke.

I don't know if it's the credit of the rum, but after a few days Su Zhiyun's health is almost healed, but because he missed working in the commissary for a few days, he asked the boss to find a reason to resign.

It was still raining outside on the day we left, and Su Zhiyun's cloth shoes were so wet from the rain that they soaked through the socks and stuck to his toes, making them wet and cold.

He passed by the trash can and heard a few immature meows, and saw a skinny kitten, not a little bigger than a palm, and the other cats lying beside him were silent.

Su Zhiyun hesitated for a moment, then heard someone behind him say: "Pick it up, I'll raise it with you."

He turned around and saw Wen Lili and Yanzi. The two girls were holding the same umbrella. The skylight reflected on Wen Lili's face through the umbrella, making her eyelids slightly red, and she looked very gentle when she smiled.

"Why, don't you believe me?"

The cat was picked up by Su Zhiyun. Wen Lili and Yanzi paid for the cat's litter and goat's milk, but they didn't work hard, and Su Zhiyun usually took care of it.

Brother Li knew that Su Zhiyun had been fired, so he tidied up a utility room downstairs. The upstairs was full of women, which was inconvenient.

The cat was too young, less than a month old, and it had to be fed every two or three hours, and it had to be kept warm with a hot water bottle all the time, so as not to catch cold. When it was hungry at night, it would bark, making Su Zhiyun set several alarm clocks in the middle of the night.

Fortunately, he had experience raising dogs before, so he wasn't completely blind.

Seeing that the cat is getting bigger and fatter, and after the blue film on the eyes fades away, there is a little tabby cat with round cheeks and sparkling eyes, but Su Zhiyun has lost weight, which made Li Ge keep teasing whether he would share all his food with the cat up.

It seems that life is not so boring after having a cat. When Su Zhiyun plays with the cat, he feels that time will pass a little faster.

The kitten finally decided on Wen Lili's name, because there are three different colors, it's called Wanzi.

The meatballs are the most lovable when they grow to a little over a month. They are smooth and smooth, round and not slippery, like a small meatball, and they are very loved by relatives.

The ladies upstairs liked it so much that they bought a lot of canned cat food and cat food.

Wen Lili is particularly fond of it, not only coming down to play with it from time to time, but also preparing a lot of beautiful clothes and food for Wanzi.

About one afternoon, after Su Zhiyun woke up, he opened a can to find the cat. Normally, he just knocked on the can and the balls would come out of the corner. But that day, Su Zhiyun searched for several hours, but did not see the cat. figure.

Everyone said that passers-by thought the kitten had been taken away by no one.

Those opened cans were placed at the door of the house, and it may have been a long time since the cat came.

After a few days, Yanzi told him that Wanzi died.

I don't know what I ate, and was poisoned to death beside the road not far from the entrance of the small courtyard.

Canned cats, cat toys, cat clothes were all useless, Su Zhiyun put them in a box, walked to the trash can, stood still for a long time, and carried the box back.

It's just that he sealed the box with tape and put it in the corner, and never opened it again.

……

He got up at night when he heard a woman crying, and saw two people standing vaguely in the yard, a man and a woman, who were arguing for some reason. Her head hit the wall, and the woman lost all strength, so she dragged her head upstairs by her hair.

The patterned frosted glass window can only see the shadow dimly, but not really. From the outside, you can clearly see the shadow of Su Zhiyun Qiye in the room on the first floor.

The man paused, but continued to walk upstairs without hesitation.

Naturally, Su Zhiyun didn't go out to look.

The next day was still calm, everything was normal, Su Zhiyun didn't see Wen Lili, Yanzi told him that Brother Li took Wen Lili out.

It was half a month later that Su Zhiyun saw Wen Lili again. She was still the same as before, but seemed to be a little thinner. When Su Zhiyun saw her, she was talking to Yanzi with a smile, saying that she would take her out to play.

"where to play?"

Yanzi has also been to many places with the boss, and she has been to many places that girls in the county town find interesting.

Wen Lili said: "Naturally, it's a good place. It can make money and have fun. The swimming pool is bigger than the second floor of ours. The big money there is much richer than the country bumpkins here. If you really get close to one, you will fly to the branches." Turned into a phoenix."

Swallow curiously asked Wen Lili why she had the opportunity to go to this kind of party.

"The boss who bought me before was very rich and has been there a few times."

Then how did you come here.

Swallow thought for a while, but held back and swallowed the words.

Wen Lili lit a cigarette, and glanced at Su Zhiyun next to her: "Next time you go, you can go with us."

"Isn't it usually Li Ge who takes you?"

Su Zhiyun said.

"I want you to go, don't you?"

Wen Lili asked back, she bit the last three words a little bit hard, and stared straight at Su Zhiyun, with a hint of not giving up until she reached her goal.

……

Su Zhiyun hasn't been to such a resplendent villa for a long time, and there is an illusion that it feels like a lifetime away.

Seeing him standing at the door without moving for a long time, Yanzi thought Su Zhiyun hadn't seen him, so he took his arm and walked inside.

Wen Lili didn't seem to be here for the first time, she was fiddling with her phone, not interested, as if she was replying to a message.

As soon as you enter, you will be greeted by the smell of tobacco and alcohol. There are many men and women gathered in the hall. Most of the girls are wearing swimsuits, and the men are all neat and tidy.

Su Zhiyun frowned slightly, and soon a man came over, about 30 years old, with an ordinary appearance, eagerly came to hold Wen Lili's hand.

"Lili, you are here."

Wen Lili's face froze for a moment, as if she saw some scourge, and then quickly adjusted her expression, smiling like a flower.

"Long time no see, Mr. Wang."

Su Zhiyun guessed at a glance what the nature of the party was, so he didn't say anything, he just lit a cigarette silently, and let Mr. Wang drag Wen Lili away with an impatient look.

Swallow also went to other places and struck up a conversation.

The scenery in front of him was corrupt and chaotic, and the tinnitus gradually increased. Su Zhiyun lowered his eyelashes, stopped looking, and took out a pack of chewing gum and put it in his mouth. It smelled like oranges, sour and sweet.

He hid in the corner, but his stature and temperament were well known to the public account of the bookstore. Occasionally, a few women who came to strike up a conversation asked him to look up, and he was frightened away.

Su Zhiyun stayed there for a while, only to feel that the air inside was turbid, and the sound gradually became louder and deafening, disturbing his mind. There was no water yet, and after drinking a few glasses of wine, his mind became dizzy.

He wanted to get rid of the smell of alcohol, so he pushed the door and went out, taking a walk in the villa area alone.

The moon was perfectly round, and Su Zhiyun was dressed in black, so he didn't look eye-catching in the night, but halfway through he was still dizzy, dizzy, and not very sober.

Probably there was something in the wine, Su Zhiyun was so dizzy that he didn't even know he bumped into someone.

There was a "bang", but the opponent was still stable, he was knocked back a few steps, and covered his forehead, the pain dissipated the drowsiness a bit.

"Are you okay?"

There were some eager voices, but it didn't seem like they were speaking to themselves.

"fine."

Hearing this voice, Su Zhiyun was stunned suddenly, his whole body was stiff, and even his fingers began to tremble unconsciously.

His mind was blank, just a little dazed - it shouldn't be, it won't be.

How could there be such a coincidence in this world.

There shouldn't be such a coincidence.

How could Gu Zehuan be like this.

"Why don't you apologize for bumping into someone?"

When the partner on the other side confronted Su Zhiyun, his tone became a bit harsh, and he was not so polite, not as cautious as when facing a man.

Su Zhiyun was stunned for a moment, and slowly recovered, but without looking up, he said in a low voice, "Sorry, I didn't see it."

The male companion was still a little reluctant, but suddenly heard someone shout.

"Su Zhiyun! Wen Lili is gone!"

This sound made Su Zhiyun froze, he subconsciously wanted to leave, but someone stopped him.

The force is very light, without any restraint or force, he can break free with a little force.

But Su Zhiyun froze, as if he had been immobilized by a talisman, he did not move, he dared not move, he was reluctant to move.

Gu Zehuan didn't even need to say anything, with just one movement, he easily broke through all his defenses.

Let him fall flat.

Su Zhiyun felt that he should have known that he was hopeless, terminally ill, and destined to be tortured to the point of exhaustion by this love that had no place to rest.

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