【Bungo Stray Dog Taton】Dream

0.

In the winter of 1915, the whole Hanamachi was covered with snow.

Osamu Dazai was sitting on the corridor in the courtyard watching the snow, the charming prostitute tiptoed over to pour the wine, the gorgeous petals on the hair ornament hung down, kneading in the cold snow with a seductive aroma.

The snow was like a curtain, and the bright red lanterns on the corridor were inlaid with snow and stretched unsteadily to the end of the corridor. Osamu Dazai looked down at the melting snowflakes in the wine cup and smiled, the white cat on his lap rubbed against his cool fingertips Making a coquettish coquettish sound, the prostitute turned her head and whispered, "Sir?" He took a sip of his wine and shook his head, with a bit of expected joy.

"There are guests here."

She heard him say that.

The corridor hidden in the shadow of the lights gradually outlined the shadow of a person. The prostitute was a little curious but did not dare to look clearly, so she squinted at the shadow on the ground and cautiously peeped at the appearance of the person coming.The sound of messy footsteps was mixed with the cat's petty coquettishness. She heard the panting that belonged to the young man alone, rubbing the cold snow air was as refreshing as the new rain in early spring.

This is a student.

She looked at the swaying silhouette on the ground and poured wine into the guest's glass. Osamu Dazai smiled softly. She looked over for his reputation and bumped into the smiling eyes of the other party.

The soft red light diffused from the thin lantern paper and fell into the dark corridor, and the eyes were so gentle that they seemed to be drowned in the intoxicating aroma of wine.The prostitute blushed involuntarily and turned her head away, Dazai Osamu's voice floated from above her head, as if she was the one who was drunk in the haze.

"You can't spy on him, he's just a child."

The snow in the sky mixed with the cold wind seems to disappear in an instant. The prostitute in the flickering lights sees the uninvited guests running from the end of the corridor. The young guests catch up with the brown cat running towards them, and the cool winter night blows His snow-white hair revealed those crystal-clear eyes. For a moment, it was as if time had stood still.

She thought of the clear pool water in the courtyard reflecting the broken sunlight in the afternoon, she remembered the lights on the celebrations when she was a child, and remembered the Chinese and Western style churches being built in the bustling crowd back then, when the bright sunlight fell through the colorful glass windows The grotesque shadow, the little she was crowded by the crowd and sat on the ground, looking up as if she saw a god.

"Sir," the boy a few steps away gasped while hugging the brown cat. The student uniform with a stand-up collar outlines a thin figure, which is as clean as new snow reflected in the dim lights of the night, "This is your cat. ?"

The prostitute watched him walking towards him step by step, those purple-gold eyes rubbed a warm red halo and shimmered lightly, and the beauty that did not belong to this world fell into the pupils of the young man, in a trance.

It's like a dream.

1.

That was not the first time Dazai met Atsushi Nakajima.

When he first met the kid, the white-haired cub hadn't even grown a low bench.The homeless child huddled up in the garbage dump in the freezing cold night. He thought of the cat rescued by this little thing from under the wheel that day, and remembered the pair of eyes that were as bright as amber. Finally, he threw away the The flagon picked up the dirty little thing.

Atsushi Nakajima had a fever, his whole body was burning hot and he was delirious and could only utter small ravings.Master Yaohu, who has never taken care of the child, was worried. He rolled the child's white and tender legs with his tail and shook them. Come down, lap in your arms and pat your back carefully.

This is life.

The fox demon, who had lived for so long and almost forgot about the different ways of being a human being, squinted his eyes and sighed.

He is still alive.

Then things went smoothly, he took the drowsy Atsushi Nakajima to meet Akiko Yosano, and brought the lively child home under the eyes of the other party as if he had seen a ghost.

【"What are you going to do with him?"】

That day he hugged Atsushi Nakajima, who had fallen asleep, stepping on the fresh snow outside the door, and Akiko Yosano leaned against the solid wood door frame to smoke. Wrapping the child's palm-sized head tightly with a blanket, he stared blankly at the gloomy sky for a while, and faced Atsushi Nakajima's sleeping face in his arms.

The red lips and white eyelashes trembled slightly, and he knew that there was a pair of bewitching eyes underneath, which seemed to absorb all the light in the world.

"What should I do with you?"

Osamu Dazai asked softly, and was not annoyed if he didn't get an answer, he just shook his head and laughed, stepping into Xiwei's sky step by step under the heavy snow.He didn't know where he was going. The life of the fox demon was so long that all his emotions were blurred, but Atsushi Nakajima must know that he would wait for the child to wake up, and then ask him where he likes.

He thought that he still had a lot of time to think about.

When Atsushi Nakajima was seven years old, Osamu Dazai had raised him for three years.The young Douding grew from the legs of the stool to the legs of the table and then jumped to reach the keys on the cabinet. He was already able to hug Osamu Dazai's waist and act like a baby to eat tea and rice at night, so he could open the door with the key and walk by himself. to the street.

white hair, purple eyes

Osamu Dazai leaned on the soft recliner, slightly bent his lips and closed his eyes. He thought about his little tiger walking on the street, facing all kinds of people and all kinds of eyes. Maybe someone would hit him with things, use rotten vegetables The dirty rag and the finished wine bottle stained his snow-white hair and made it lose its luster.

His little tiger might cry, clutching the key in his hand and tremblingly struggling to say the words he had practiced thousands of times, and then he was thrown out and sat on the muddy floor.He wanted to hug him, wrap his little tiger in his arms to wipe off the filth on his face, look into those tear-filled eyes, and tell him how dirty human beings are.

【"They...they said my hair color is different..."】

His little tiger might choke and complain and cry to wet his clothes, or hiccup and pout his mouth to shed tears, then he can pat Atsushi Nakajima on the head and tell him ["What's the matter, Nakaya's hair It’s like being stained with honey, I’m saying this, don’t pounce on it next time and take a bite”], he can comfort him, make the little tiger giggle and forget all the previous unpleasantness, you can take it out and prepare it long ago put the candy in his white and tender palm, and asked him.

【"Didn't you go out to prepare a gift for me? Then Dun Jun, would you like to give this to me now?"】

However, they cannot be together forever.

The fox demon has lived so long that he has forgotten the boundaries of time. Osamu Dazai is sometimes afraid that when he opens his eyes, the person sleeping next to him is already dying of old age. Fall into a long sleep.

Atsushi Nakajima is a person.

The chasm of time runs between them.

Osamu Dazai lay on the recliner and closed his eyes as if he was asleep. He thought of Atsushi Nakajima crying and the sun that was too dazzling when he met the child. He felt a dull pain in his chest. It was like a winter's bitter river flowing from the limbs and bones, outlining the appearance of death.

sorry.

Osamu Dazai thought about the child sobbing, then reached out and stroked his soft hair.

Sorry, this dream is still about to wake up.

2.

Atsushi Nakajima was orphaned when he was seven years old.

He vaguely remembered that he lost his family members earlier, but the layers of snow covered his childhood memories had long since disappeared. He forgot what kind of family he had and what kind of family he had. Life, what kind of people have you had.

He forgot everything that had happened. The clearest memory is that the raging fire burned down his home. He ran staggeringly and asked a person who did not exist, but no one knew, no one told him.

He is like a lunatic, with weird hair color and strange eye color. He is evil, dirty or ghost, and he should die in a corner where no one can see, waiting for the fresh winter snow to wash away his decayed soul.

Why is he still alive.

He remembered that cold night when he collapsed in the hall of the orphanage, the wound the director whipped was soaked in salt water so painful that he almost lost his ability to breathe, the overwhelming rain fell on the distant window and wept mournfully Sound, there was a man sitting there, the blood-stained bandage hanging from his wrist and falling on the rain-stained window sill, Atsushi Nakajima moved his fingers and found that he couldn’t lift his strength at all, between them, there seemed to be a gap With an insurmountable distance.

"you know……"

He squeezed out a hoarse voice from his throat, but found that he had forgotten the name of the person he was looking for.

Then, he heard a familiar voice.

Someone walked over a long distance to his side with the sound of roaring rain, and those cool hands touched his hair and covered his eyes.He heard the sound of thunder, and all his thoughts exploded in his mind and then crumbled into that soft kiss and turned into ashes. The uninvited guest was like a dream, leaving only an almost inaudible whisper.

"Only when you are alive will you have the chance to see it."

Atsushi Nakajima covered his lips and wept silently in the cold hall on a rainy night. He tried his best to keep his eyes open and looked in the direction of the window and kept nodding, as if he wanted to keep the dream that was scattered in the rain.

"Wait for me to pick you up."

3.

In this world, are there any gods?

Mr. Fox Demon, as a demon who has lived for too long, believes in all supernatural beings and believes that existence is the truth, but he has never believed in gods.

He has no desire to achieve urgently, and he has no goal to achieve even if he is desperate. He has heard too many stories and fairy tales. Tampering with Numerology.

He didn't believe in God.

Osamu Dazai stepped up the steps leading to the shrine step by step on the rainwater, and the Reiatsu devoured the human form and burned his body. In the end, he could only kneel step by step, letting the blood drip on the road leading to the shrine.

"I don't actually have a big wish." He looked down at the dirty blood on his body and squeezed out a hoarse voice from his throat. "I've lived too long. I'm not old or dead. How can I be with that child..."

"If you could hear..."

Mr. Fox Demon, who had never kneeled before anyone in his life, seemed to be tired. He bent down, and little by little, he put his head on the cold floor tiles of the shrine.

"If you can hear... Please let me have the same life span as that child, let me become a person, accompany him to grow old, and accompany him to leave this world."

"Please."

Osamu Dazai repeated unconsciously listening to the roaring rain.

"Please."

God didn't answer.

4.

Atsushi Nakajima met a brown kitten when he was 18 years old. It squatted in the middle of the road and blinked at him, then turned and ran towards Hanamachi.

By coincidence, he followed.

The sudden outbreak of Western consciousness in the past few years has completely changed people's views. Atsushi Nakajima has become popular. His hair color and eye color are different from ordinary people, with an inexplicable mixed-blood atmosphere, which ignited a heat wave of envy among students. The very thing that had driven him home and beaten was back in the spotlight, with an entirely different result.

So what?

It will become like this, but because he is still alive.

That night, he chased the spiritual kitten into Hanamachi, walked through the dark alleyway to squeeze through the bustling crowd, and met the man named Dazai Osamu in the red corridor covered by countless lanterns.

That demon fox named Osamu Dazai.

"..."

"What are you looking at?"

The lover nestled by the bed closed the book and turned his head to look at him. Nakajima Atsushi pulled his hair a little shyly, and asked him with a wandering gaze.

"If Dazai-san is a fox...will he have a tail?"

It seemed that this was the first time for the young lover to hear such a question. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyebrows and smiled. Atsushi Nakajima felt something move his waist. He turned around suspiciously, and then Startled by something that suddenly appeared, he let out a low cry.

It was a fluffy tail.

"It's not just a tail." Osamu Dazai slightly bent his lips and pressed his body down. The dark brown eyes close to him met his eyes, which were so warm as if they were filled with the charming fragrance of wine. "There are also ears."

The fluffy ears trembled in response to the occasion, and Atsushi Nakajima couldn't help reaching out to touch it, but he was grabbed by his hands and blocked his lips.

The tip of the tongue wrapped around and licked to outline the taste of lust, and the vicious lover wrapped his tail around his waist to suck his remaining breath.Heartbeat, wheezing and panting, reason seems to have been wiped out, and he seemed to hear Osamu Dazai smile in a haze, and then the slightly warm and subtle pleasure in the earlobe rushed into the limbs with electric current, and someone sighed and murmured.

"What will you pay me for?"

What is the reward?

I give you the rest of my life, please stay with me for a while longer.

After that day, Dazai Osamu no longer restrained his tail, perhaps because he liked it more, bad lovers always love to kill him on the spot when he can't stand the temptation.Mr. Fox Demon, who has lived for too long, can always come up with all kinds of ghost ideas. He will turn into an old man to pick him up from school, turn into a girl to accompany him on a date, and even occasionally turn into a child, pulling him hand called daddy.

"Mr. Dazai."

He picked up his lover who looked younger and sat on his lap, and the girl who accosted him just now ran away with a pale face, so he could guess what kind of jokes would come out tomorrow without even thinking about it.

"I won't fall in love with others, please have more confidence in me?"

"I don't believe you," the little boy on his knee tilted his head and smiled like an angel. He let the other party pull his collar and press his forehead together. Exclusive imprint, "I'm just jealous."

Being jealous, she has the same life as you, being jealous, she can grow old with you, being jealous, she is alive, but I have no right to die.

Osamu Dazai slightly drooped his eyelashes and lightly bit his lover's lips, Atsushi Nakajima didn't hide, closed his eyes and imitated the other party's strength and kissed him.The sweet kiss mixed with the salty blood replaced the tears that could not be welled up, he silently counted.

, he still has more than 50 years to live.

5.

If there are gods in this world, they probably hate me.

Atsushi Nakajima thought about this more than once.

When he was gradually approaching death, he once thought of curling up alone in a corner that no one knew and rotted into sand, but that morning when he saw Osamu Dazai who had become an old man, he suddenly burst out crying uncontrollably, he was like a little boy. Sobbing and weeping in a hoarse voice like a child, his elderly lover hugged him and patted his back, coaxing him slowly.

He said Dun Jun, don't cry, don't you love me when I'm old? It's really hurtful.

He said, you see, I lost all my teeth, and I still leaked air when I spoke. Didn't you let me comfort you with such ramblings, didn't you mean to see my jokes?

He said that we should go to Zhongye, and the two of us would go secretly and burn all his western hats. If he wanted to do something, we would cry, saying that he was not a good boy to bully the elderly.

He said Dun Jun, don't cry, I'm still here...

Later, they walked all over the streets and alleys and went to every place they had never been to. Osamu Dazai took him to visit his former friends. His old appearance was reflected in the ageless pupils of the monsters, and his bones outlined the appearance of life.They made an appointment to go to Hanamachi again next winter, to catch fireflies, to visit the grave of a dead cat, and they planned to really burn a Chuya Nakahara hat, but in the end it was too late .

When the new snow just fell that winter, he lay in Dazai Osamu's arms, begging him to change himself back to his youthful appearance.

"Why?" Osamu Dazai held his hand and tilted his head and smiled, "No matter what Atsu-kun looks like, he is the one I like..."

"But it's inconvenient..."

He shook his head.The old lover sighed, he heard the sound of the wind blowing across the window sill and the sound of falling snow, Dazai Osamu was still sitting there, with red lips, white eyebrows and eyes picturesque, while that self stood quietly in his pupils.

"That's great..." Atsushi Nakajima smiled softly, "That's great..."

He suddenly felt pain, and tears rolled down his eyes and soaked the pale pillow. Osamu Dazai hugged him and stroked his hair. He thought that from now on, he would be free from life and turn into ashes, and there would be nothing left, but Dazai Zhi is still here, still here, will not grow old or even have the right to die.

He was left here by himself, guarding alone for hundreds of thousands of years.

Atsushi Nakajima has never been so eager for life. He doesn't want to die. Once he thinks of the pain that the left behind will face, he longs to live, even if he sacrifices to the devil.

If there are gods in this world, they probably hate me.

How cruel.

The devil didn't answer.

6.

In the winter of 2013, the streets and alleys of Yokohama were covered with snow.

Osamu Dazai, who had failed to enter the water for countless times, lay on the bank of the river and looked at the gray sky expressionlessly.He heard the sound of panting, and the slight heat on his cheek pulled his thoughts back to the land from the height of thousands of miles. He stared at the little white tiger next to his head and licked him. This child is too petite and probably underage. , but with the breath of heaven and earth spirit beasts.

Where did this young master come from?

He sat up and grabbed the opponent's tail and slid the whole tiger up. If this little thing hadn't plunged its head into his arms in the river just now, he probably would have drifted along the water for a while.The young tiger cub fluttered his limbs and struggled uncomfortably. He stared at the purple-gold eyes of the opponent for a while, and suddenly burst out laughing uncontrollably.

"Atsu-kun?" Osamu Dazai licked his lips and sighed with a smile, "How is that possible?"

Then, the sound disappeared in the kiss from the little white tiger.

End.