【Flying Cloud Series】Poverty Music

When I feel uneasy, I often play the music I am familiar with in the earphones in a loop. Maybe it is Jay Chou's "Lanting Preface", maybe it is Stefanie Sun's "Dark Black", or it may be a sudden colorful music at a certain moment, as long as it is nice The soothing, reassuring, and melodious can all be used to comfort oneself, which is one of the self-healing methods of adults.

However, at the moment, Chen Feiyu's earphones were playing the sad "Ninth Symphony", and the pencil sharpener was only a hair's breadth away from his wrist artery.

Nearly an inch, and then an inch closer.

If blood splatters everywhere, he will be free.

He has lived through everything, has nothing to pursue, and no longer intends to be entangled with the darkness of this world.

a little closer

……

The three violin chords in the earphones ended the whole movement, and switched to the next song along the playlist.

The prelude is like snowflakes in the mountains and rivers, the erhu vomits, the keys of the piano are scattered, the ice melts, the strings rise four times, and the east wind comes from afar, rushing to the world of spring.

The title of the song is "The Joy of Bashu in March on the Hour",

It is an accidental song by an electronic music player signed by D God.

Chen Feiyu stopped the knife, threw the knife to the corner of the table, and slid down to the floor.

He was rescued again.

It wasn't God D who saved him, Chen Feiyu was just an ordinary listener, and God D didn't even know his last name.

He was saving himself, desperately trying to save himself.

Confused in a situation where no one around him understood, and seized by thoughts of committing suicide in the middle of the night again and again, Chen Feiyu had to wear headphones and use the sudden change of music to regain his sanity.In his playlist, every song is interspersed with the earthy and joyful pure music produced by God D. He must ensure that he is saved by the songs of God D before he goes crazy.

How to do!

There is nowhere to seek medical attention as a child!

As a student, you have no friends to sue!

As an actor, there is no reason to be cowardly!

He has saved himself for seven years in the panic of uncontrollable depression. The symptoms are not serious, and even his parents have noticed!

How to do! !

Chen Feiyu clenched his heart tightly and panted heavily. The oppressive feeling of oversaturation with carbon dioxide made him break out in cold sweat again, and he had nowhere to turn for help.

In the music of the earphones, there are dexterous little squirrels jumping off the branches, wild bears waking up from hibernation to bathe in the Yalong River, and wild geese flying north, telling the larks about the various styles and beautiful natural scenery of the southern country when they roost.

He closed his eyes and listened, but inexplicable tears fell down.

Why is it that some people can see the bright moon, but all they can see is the ditch.

It is clear that the world of childhood is full of light.

why why why!

The music was about to end, Chen Feiyu turned on the phone tremblingly, wanting to switch to the next song of God D quickly.

The reunion of the animals is over, and the "Confession" from his playlist will be played next.

Don't listen if you can't listen, he will pick up the knife again if he hears it later.

What to do, the music is over!His hands can't move because of carbon dioxide poisoning, what to do!

"Do you think it's over, ha, Yin Pao Sibo, I wish all listeners and friends a happy Year of the Rabbit, 1115|3331|1355|432—... It's Chinese New Year, go home and spend time with your family."

It was a clear and joyful voice, which suddenly sounded when the music was buffering, praying for the early years.

family……

Chen Feiyu returned rationally, took off the earphones playing the mourning music and shouted, "Mom! Dad!"

Save Arthur!

Chen Feiyu privately thought that he was shouting very loudly, but he couldn't hear his own voice at all, his voice was hoarse and there was no sound.

Respiratory carbon dioxide poisoning, lying, palpitations, fainting.

Infinitely close to death.

-----

Chen Feiyu woke up three days later.

He silently sat up with his waist, saw his parents resting on the cot, and reached over to help them pull up the quilt.

They are getting old.

It is not spiritual aging, but an inevitable gift of time.

Chen Feiyu always knew.

A long time ago, one day he suddenly discovered that he was taller than his father, and he dragged his father to compare for a long time, and ran to his mother to share his new discovery, "Mom, I am taller than my father. I protect you!"

Now he can't recall how he felt at that time, but he knows that he has been completely reduced to a negative example in taking care of his parents, and he still makes them worry about him in his twenties.How he was discovered by his parents, he has no way of knowing; he has no memory of the difficult rescue he went through during the coma;

All he knows is that his parents gave him another life.

But even so, the depression that suppressed him so much that he couldn't breathe still made him want to despise his precious life, as if he was choked by the throat of the underworld Rakshasa, knowingly committing a crime, there is no other way.

The road is long and dark, and there is no guiding light to go forward.

Chen Feiyu turned on his mobile phone, put on his earphones, and clicked on the special edition of the Year of the Ox by God D to listen. The gloomy night before dawn was oppressive, and he could only rely on these subtle sounds to survive: listening to a composition composed by a person he had never met before, and listening to him tell about the history of mountains and rivers. The local conditions and customs in the book, waiting for his irregular updates, repeating old songs over and over again, as if this can make me regain my childhood fascination with the world.

What is playing now is the song "The Essence of Dandan Noodles is Sichuan Opera Mask" produced by D God five years ago. The prelude is the big drum, and the "Blue-faced Dou Erdun" is playing fiercely. , crackling, the sound welcomes the new year, the rain in Shu is bleak, and the people are always happy.

The composer must have no worries about food and clothing, and a smooth life, maybe a sensationalist who writes these weird ballads to make women smile.

Chen Feiyu is not a beauty,

Also unable to sincerely smile.

-----

"Snapped!"

With a slap on Chen Feiyu's shoulder, he turned his head, the earphones slipped out and fell onto the bed that smelled of disinfectant.

His father hit him for the first time.

Chen Feiyu raised his head sadly, looked at Director Chen's flushed face, and remained silent.

The young man was born too beautifully. His slender eyelashes covered the pearls in his eyes, his pale lips were covered with wound rouge, his sunken cheeks were delicate and soft, and his clear collarbone was looming under his hospital gown. Sitting silently like this seemed like a mistake. A fallen fairy.

Director Chen couldn't believe that he really did something to Chen Feiyu. This is an old man who was not willing to beat him even when he flushed his watch into the sewer when he was a child. The son moved his hand.

"Your pencil sharpener, the blood test results are also type O."

When Chen Feiyu saw his bandaged wrist, he had no position to explain that he just wanted to use the knife's pain to call back his reason and ask his parents for help.

"Ah."

Director Chen has experienced so many storms, and he still can't control the shock right now, and he tightly gripped Chen Feiyu's thin shoulders, "What are you thinking! After playing a few tragic roles, you can't get out of the show!"

The second explosive news at the end of the Year of the Ox——[Three Golden Film King Chen Feiyu suspected of fainting due to illness]

Only the family members know that it was not fainting due to illness, but self-mutilation.

Sister Hong woke up and pulled Director Chen away, "Why are you so angry with Pippi, he finally woke up."

Director Chen let go of Chen Feiyu, and Sister Hong sat on the side of the bed, her hair was still messy, and took the lead in holding Chen Feiyu's thin cheeks, "Are you still feeling bad? Mom, go call the doctor."

Chen Feiyu shook his head, nodded again, finally lost his strength and leaned into Sister Hong's arms, "Mom..."

Sister Hong and Director Chen looked at each other, and hugged Chen Feiyu tightly with heartache, "It's okay Pipi, you're just sick and you're cured."

Chen Feiyu didn't answer, just looked at the song still playing on the phone, dumb and silent.

He was already terminally ill.

It can't be cured.

-----

small theater:

Teacher Chen did not hurt himself, and the reason for the injury will be clarified later.