time for sysyphus

Three years passed by in a flash, like quicksand at fingertips that cannot be grasped.

Lin Si and Ji Zhongnian have been in love for three years. In my memory, there are very few quarrels, but bickering from time to time.They are more eloquent now than when they first started dating.

In the past three years, Ji Zhongnian could not help but lament the kindness of Lin Si.

He is a young master with a cold and arrogant temper. It is common for him to lose his temper, but every time at this time, Lin Si would just keep silent, wait patiently for him to finish his temper, and then gently coax him to call him "Master Ji" ".

In Ji Zhongnian's eyes, Lin Si seemed born to be incapable of getting angry.

Day after day like this, even if the two had conflicts or quarreled over trivial matters, it was always Lin Si who compromised first, and he would give in unconditionally for the sake of Ji Zhongnian.

Over time, Ji Zhongnian always sighed, "Lin Si, why do you have such a good temper?"

"What kind of temper can I have with you?" Lin Si laughed.

In fact, he didn't quarrel with Ji Zhongnian not because he had no temper, but because he didn't want to spend the limited time on things that made each other unhappy.

If possible, he would like to use the limited time to love each other as much as possible, to leave some good memories for Ji Zhongnian as much as he can, so that the happy time is greater than the painful time.

In that way, maybe after he left, Ji Zhongnian could use these memories as compensation for the pain, slowly heal himself, and have the strength to support himself to live.

Lin Si said to Ji Zhongnian again: "Besides, how could I be willing to waste the time with you arguing? How unfriendly."

When he said that, Ji Zhongnian was very happy when he heard it, but he laughed at him instead, "How can this be called waste? Even if it is waste, we will waste our whole life, so what are we afraid of?"

"Forever..." Lin Si lowered his eyes, deliberated over the three simple words, and at the end, silently said in a voice that only he could hear: "Yes, forever."

He tried to think about it: If there is no time loop, how long will his and Ji Zhongnian's life be? ,

20 years, 30 years, 50 years... It may be a long time, and when you are a hundred years old, hold your hand.

But God has set an infinite time loop, and their life is only three years, and these three years are about to expire, like a precarious rock hanging on the edge of a cliff, it will end at any time.

Because these three years are so precious, so precious that Lin Si wants to fill every minute and every second, so he has one more thing that he will insist on every day——

Every day, he never forgets to give Ji Zhongnian a hug in front of the door.

This hug was solid without leaving a gap, chest to chest, breathing in each other's ears, like a sense of established ritual.

Lin Si wants to hug his lover intimately, to give this time together a deeper meaning, so that even if this memory follows him to the next cycle, it is still worth recalling.

"You are the only person in this world who treats me so well unconditionally. Only you can love me so much."

This is a short love story that Ji Zhongnian said when he sent flowers to Lin Si on a whim.

Such a straightforward, unabashed expression of his warm and sincere heart, although it is not like Ji Ershao's style, but he feels that it is okay to be a little romantic once in a while.

But Lin Si, who was holding the flower, did not end up being romantic. Instead, he said something unsightly, "Well, I love you very much, but if there will be someone like me in the future, you want to replace me... with that person , I wouldn't mind either."

Ji Zhongnian was taken aback for a moment, thinking he was joking, and didn't take his words to heart, "You are being a bit hypocritical for being generous."

"No hypocrisy, tell the truth," Lin Si said with a smile on his face.

Ji Zhongnian didn't believe it at all, and even sneered to dismantle him, "Okay, I've never seen anyone as generous as you. Why, if there is another person who treats me nicely, you still have to let me out?"

Lin Si smiled without saying a word, playing with the beautiful flowers in his hand.

He is not generous.

Just because you love each other too much.

He doesn't mind being replaced by someone after his death, and he doesn't mind Ji Zhongnian donating his love to others. Although this is a heart-wrenching thing to think about, compared to being remembered forever, Lin Si I would rather... Ji Zhongnian could find his next happiness and start a new life.

"Well, you should think about it carefully," Lin Si said to Ji Zhongnian so firmly.

On this day, the night sky was full of haze, and the moonlight was deeply covered by thick clouds.

Ji Zhongnian has not returned home for a long time.

Lin Si, who had been waiting at home, was a little worried, because Ji Zhongnian didn't answer the calls he made a few times. Although Ji Zhongnian would occasionally return late due to work, it was rare for him not to answer the phone like today.

"Mr. Lin, why don't you go back to your room and wait? The second young master doesn't know when he will come back." Uncle Dong came over and put down a cup of hot water, and asked Lin Si, "This drama master will provide you with the latest TV series plot introduction, TV series episode introduction, movie plot analysis, star personal data.

It's late, it's still cold, let me wait for you. "

Lin Si sat on the sofa in the living room, took a sip of hot water, "I can't sleep when I go back to my room, I want to wait here. Go to sleep first, and leave me alone."

"Hey, pay attention to your body," Dong Shu had no choice but to go to sleep first.

In a living room in Nuoda, it was so quiet that only Lin Si and a dark lamp were left here.

The water in the glass gradually cooled down, and there was a mess of wind whistling outside the window. Because of boredom, Lin Si took a desk calendar on the table next to him, and flipped through it casually.

Looking at the year and numbers on it, he felt a little uneasy for no reason.

Suddenly, there was movement at the gate of Ji's house.Lin Si lifted the blanket and stood up from the sofa, and sure enough, he saw Ji Zhongnian enter the door.

"Why is it so late? Did you work a lot today?" Lin Si stepped on soft cotton slippers and walked over, "I didn't answer your calls for several times."

Silently, Ji Zhongnian took out his cell phone from his coat, only to find that there were indeed several "missed calls" inside.

"I didn't notice..." His voice was extremely low and hoarse, weak.

Lin Si helped him take off his coat and the tie that was tightly tied around his neck, and said in a warm voice, "I made you some soup, do you want to warm it up for you?"

Ji Zhongnian shook his head, "No need, I don't have much appetite."

Lin Si paused, and being sensitive, he immediately noticed something was wrong with Ji Zhongnian.

What is different from usual is that Ji Zhongnian's face today is full of exhaustion, and it is obviously not the kind of exhaustion from heavy work, but... mentally gloomy, the whole person is devastated, and even the usual Shuoshuo's bright eyes dimmed.

Lin Si held Ji Zhongnian's wrist and asked him softly, "How are you? Today. I think you seem very tired, otherwise I—"

Before he finished speaking, he was pulled over by Ji Zhongnian.

Ji Zhongnian suddenly embraced Lin Si's whole body, clasped Lin Si's waist tightly with his hands, buried his head in Lin Si's neck, and breathed heavily.

"Lin Si..." Ji Zhongnian's voice seemed to be broken, and he hoarsely called the name of the lover in his arms.

Lin Si knew Ji Zhongnian too well, and immediately noticed that the other party's mood had reached the bottom, which was a side that this man rarely showed.

He raised his hands and slowly hugged Ji Zhongnian back, hoping to convey the sense of security to him as much as possible.

"I'm here."

In the living room, only one floor lamp that was not very bright was turned on, its color was dim yellow, and it slanted on their embracing bodies, casting two shadows that were close to each other on the floor, like... two people surrounded by light. Blurred soul.

Lin Si patted Ji Zhongnian's back lightly, only felt the man's heavy and wet breath on his shoulders, he didn't know if it was an illusion, he felt that Ji Zhongnian at this time was like a wet and rotten mossy stone, barely breathing Wanting to lean on something around me.

Lin Si tried his best to keep his voice as soft as possible, and asked cautiously, "Zhongnian, did... something happen?"

After waiting for a while, he didn't wait for the other party's answer, Ji Zhongnian seemed unable to speak.

The man quietly leaned on Lin Si's shoulder, and slowly closed his sour eyes. A certain kind of intense sadness was exposed from his heaving chest. Even if he remained motionless, it was difficult to suppress this emotion from the inside out. .

The long silence is like a plastic film covering the mouth and nose, bringing a vague sense of suffocation, which makes Lin Si seem to have an ominous premonition.

Then his whole heart beat abnormally, as if it was suddenly caught by an extremely sharp silk thread and pulled it violently.

——This kind of unknown feeling is familiar, as if it has been there before.

After a while, he heard Ji Zhongnian speak hoarsely: "I killed someone...Tao Die and her son...are dead."

The author says:

Two more today