Miss Tsushima

"Miss Tsushima, where are you going?" Osamu Dazai pressed the light switch, and suddenly the light came on. He? Slightly narrowed his eyes, with long eyelashes drooping down, covering the iris-colored storm in his eyes.

Osamu Dazai put his hand on the switch, his slender fingers exuded a marble-like color under the light, like a cold ice cube, white and transparent almost melting, he lowered his head and raised it again "When I looked at Tsushima Hiiragi, I asked again.

"Miss Tsushima, where are you going?"

Even though he installed a bug in Tsushima Hiiragi's clothes before, and the sound from the bug was normal, and the time and distance it took were also consistent, Dazai Osamu still noticed that Tsushima Hiiragi must have did something.

He? Lying on the bed, with an expression of falling into a deep sleep?, but inside he kept thinking, waiting for that moment to come.

It turned out that it wasn't him? Suspicious, after waiting quietly for a few hours, he finally heard the sound of the door opening gently.

Sure enough... There is no development beyond his calculations, it has always been like this, and the development of things is under control. Osamu Dazai sat up, lifted the quilt, and quietly Go downstairs.

What will happen in the future, in their eyes, is as boring as what has already happened. Is it this side or the other side?It's as simple as if it's already caught in the eye.But even if it was expected, they couldn't face it with the original calm mood.

He couldn't tell what it was like, which was expected, but made him sad.

Standing outside the door, Tsushima Hiiragi was always behind the light, her face was also blurred, the dark sky was heavy, her figure merged with the night, and the street lamps on the side of the road flickered, casting dim light.

Osamu Dazai pressed his forehead, his brain was in a daze. He could see the moths around the streetlight clearly, but couldn't see the expression of Hiiragi Tsushima? Osamu Dazai was a little angry, even if he could guess I realized that they also hate the feeling that Tsushima Hiiragi always has something to hide from them.

Tsushima Hiiragi's figure was like a black silhouette in the dark night.

Coming into the winter night, it was cold and windy, and they were only wearing thin pajamas. The biting coldness made them start to shiver.

That black shadow seemed to have heard their call, and turned her head slightly, as if looking at them, but after a moment of hesitation, she still turned around without saying a word, raised her ? Feet, walked into the depths of the night.

Osamu Dazai froze in place, turned around when he looked at Tsushima Hiiragi, his anger dissipated instantly, and he was suddenly at a loss.

No matter how he acted coquettishly to provoke her, the angry Tsushima Hiiragi had never been like this, he clearly heard their call, but left him where he was.

She? She should turn back.

why?

Why did he just turn around and leave like he didn't hear his call, leaving him where he was?

The asphalt pavement glowed with water, and the water mist generated by the cold weather drenched the ground.Is it because the temperature is too low?A sudden chill oppressed their bodies, and Osamu Dazai felt his nose sore. This coldness swirled in their bodies, and gradually evolved into a surging grievance.

Their hands were still on the light switch, and they stared blankly at Tsushima Hiiragi's back going further and further away, stiff as if being pinned, and his throat no longer made any sound.

They can't feel their own existence, and they take the first step uncontrollably.

He pursed his lips and said nothing, slowly stepped out of the porch, walked through the garden, passed the peach blossom tree, and opened the door of the house. His footsteps became faster and faster, and he came to the back of Tsushima Hiiragi. Take her by the wrist.

Tsushima Hiiragi stopped in his tracks and stood there silently.

The old walls covered with moss, the damp air, and the heavy sky seemed to be stained with ink, so black that you couldn’t see it? A pair of lights, with a slight coolness fluttering in the sky, the faint light of stars flickered between the clouds, and soon disappeared. Hidden by dark clouds.

The ground is cold and wet.

"Tsushima..." Osamu Dazai looked at her without turning around, and suddenly didn't know what to say, should have questioned her? Why did he leave secretly, but was replaced by a sudden sense of grievance, he ? Standing in place, I feel like I can't say anything. ?

Nothing can be done well, nothing can be left behind, and everything will be lost. After all, nothing in this world belongs to him. What position does he have to ask her? Where is he going?Because of her? Was he ever responsive to his? Because of her? Zeng Jin, as long as it was his call, would he definitely respond?

No, she? She will also leave without looking back like now.

Sorrow and loneliness will drown him like a vast ocean.

The hand that tightly held her wrist was as cold as hers. This hand tightly encircled her wrist, but it didn't move. It just stood there quietly, but Tsushima Hiiragi Feeling a force that he couldn't refuse from his cold hands, he finally turned around slowly.

A gust of wind blew by, and Dazai Osamu's thin clothes fluttered up and down in the wind. The cold wind blew him. The tip of his nose turned red, his lips lost their color, and they were as pale as water vapor that was about to rise. He looked at her persistently as if blown away by the wind.

Those eyes were full of panic and grievance, and the water mist that gradually filled the sky was blown by the wind and dissipated, and finally it was empty again.

He wanted to say something, but in the end he didn't say anything.

After a long silence, Tsushima Hiiragi struggled lightly with the held hand, and Dazai subconsciously tightened his fingers, leaving no gap between the tightly encircled skin. When he recovered, he was stunned. Startled, he slowly let go of his fingers.

His fingers stopped a centimeter above Tsushima Hiiragi's hand, stayed in the void, and finally withdrew his hand.

"Why did you chase it out? Come on? Go home, it's too cold here."

Tsushima Hiiragi turned around and looked at them, those sad eyes in the darkness drifted across their faces without leaving a trace.From what she knew about Osamu Dazai, Osamu Dazai probably wouldn't catch up.

Just like they didn't go after Oda Sakunosuke, but chose to jump from the top of the port mafia.

They're so alike, cowards.

"……Family?"

Osamu Dazai pursed his lips, and under Tsushima Hiiragi's urging gaze, he stubbornly stood still, the withered bushes were rustling by the wind, the trees were swaying in pain, the streets were quiet, Empty and uninhabited.

Osamu Dazai breathed out a breath, seemingly giving up the topic easily, and opened his mouth dryly, the heat solidified into a white mist, "You? Do you want to go?"

"……Um."

"Where are you going?"

Tsushima Hiiragi was silent, she raised her head, staring at the boundless night, Dazai Osamu walked to her side, touched her shoulder, also raised her head, pointed to the sky, as if muttering Said like a language, "Is that the star?"

"Is it so far away that I'll never see you again?" His voice was trembling.

Tsushima Hiiragi was silent again.

"...Then, what about Miss Meizhi? It has lived for ten years and has never left you. Do you want to abandon it?"

"...I have already asked Kishi to take care of Meizhi, who used to take care of Meizhi."

"As for the house, this house, the peach blossoms and hydrangeas planted are all Miss Tsushima's favorite, well-cared for. If? You? Are not here, they will wither soon."

"Dazai-kun..." Tsushima Hiiragi paused, and turned around in Dazai's expectant eyes. Her long black hair fluttered in the wind, and she pulled it behind her ears, "This house Just leave it to you? When I left Yokohama during the Dragon Head Wars, you? Didn't you take care of it?

When you want to leave, you can leave everything behind, even if you like it in the past, can you leave without looking back?Osamu Dazai smiled, that smile was like a flower that quietly bloomed at the corner of his mouth, and soon withered again.

"What should I do?"

"..."

Tsushima Hiiragi didn't say a word, her fingers hanging in her sleeves trembled, and she quietly looked towards the sky.

Osamu Dazai repeated it again, asking in a murmur,

"Then... what should I do?"

Their eyes were confused and lonely, like a helpless child, standing in the same place blankly, shrinking and not daring to go forward, asking questions cautiously, when Tsushima Hiiragi looked into their eyes, they... Slowly close your eyes.

Here, he spent four years, from the age of 14 to.

The warm sunshine, the petals falling from the trees, the verdant summer, the tinkling wind chimes, the bamboo poles propped up in the courtyard, and the warm quilt, are the sunny weather that makes people? Beside the porch, close your eyes, the sun shines through the thin eyelids, and there is a layer of light red in your sight, with the halo of the sun.

How dazzling, that kind of sunshine, Osamu Dazai thought, how did those ordinary days come to this day, how did he live to this day?Can't remember at this moment? Come on, those memories are beginning to blur, gradually withering in the memory, is it an illusion?

He? Looking at the moon, the moon is not in the sky, only a few stars, like ink stains stained with water, blurred into a ball, gradually doubled in the sight.

The cold wind blew on the skin, and a cumulus cloud floated in the sky. At this moment, even the faint starlight could not be seen.

Four years ago, when I met this woman by the river, she also had the same expression. She sat on the embankment with a smile and stretched out her hand to him. What she said at that time, her The look in his eyes made him who was lonely? Follow her? Back home.

They are similar existences, with the same feelings, dreamers who are also pursuing illusory existence, because they are both timid and lonely, so they can be with her, he knows? Knowing that they cannot change the existence of being unable to love their loved ones, they can be with them at ease.

However, only he has changed.

What remains unchanged is the monster named Tsushima Hiiragi.

"It's so beautiful...whether it's the sun...it's so good...everything in this world is really beautiful."

"I really love this world..."

"follow me……"

At that time, why on earth would I hold the hand that woman? stretched out?

"You? Will you leave me?"

The night is very dark, very dark, the darkness is very deep, the world with closed eyes is very dark, and the world with open eyes is very dark.

"No, I will always be with you?"

Whether you open your eyes or close them, it is always the same black.Nothing at all.

"Always with you?"

Nothing at all.

"fraud."

They are alone again.

The author has something to say: There are more changes today, the time is uncertain, you can watch it together in the evening, I think I will finish it in one breath today

In addition, I recommend that starting from this chapter, you can open the music software and watch the single loop:

renjian datte hara ma ki han

(The title of the song was once born to be a man - it was Sakamoto who sang by Spring Roll Rice)

Very nice song, strong Amway (thumbs up)