Ten thousand people think gloom is reborn

Lin Chongtan's smiling face just now turned expressionless, even more frightening than when he came here.I couldn't help letting go of his sleeve, wondering if I said something wrong, but the next moment, I heard him say, "Okay, go to my place tonight."

I lowered my head, and it took me a long time to answer vaguely.

I don't seem to be any different from the prostitutes in the Qin Lou Chu Pavilion. If there is, they are all forced by life to take this road, and I took the initiative.

Before going to Lin Chongtan's place, I washed my body carefully, and the scene of my birthday flashed through my mind.For some reason, I didn't seem to be entirely terrified of what was about to happen.

I didn't dare to think any more, I took off the robe on the screen and got out of the tub.Liangji knew that I was going to Lin Chongtan's place, so he brought a bowl of sweet milk over, "Master Chun, it's cold, you should drink something before leaving."

I took the sweet milk, drank a few sips, and said to Liangji: "I won't be back tonight, you lock the door."

Liangji nodded, "Then I will prepare tomorrow's books later, so that Bai Chi can pick them up in the morning."

When I arrived at Lin Chongtan's dormitory, I found that Bai Chi and Qingqiu were not there, and only Lin Chongtan was sitting in the inner room.He had obviously just finished taking a bath, and his long black hair was loosely tied with a green rope. When I got closer, I could still smell the faint scent of soap locust on his body.

He was reading a book in his hand, a little too engrossed in it, and he didn't realize I was coming until I stopped beside him.

Lin Chongtan turned his face to look at me, the corners of his lips twitched slightly, "Here you come? Is it cold on the road?"

I nodded and shook my head sullenly, because I was too embarrassed to look at him.Not long after, I was hugged by Lin Chongtan. As usual, I asked him to extinguish a few candles, but he ignored me.

I thought he didn't hear me, so I called him a few more times, "Tan Sheng...Tan Sheng, you put out the candle."

Lin Chongtan finally paid attention to me, he stared at me for a moment, and suddenly the corners of his lips deepened, "Xiaodi, you can help me today too."

I froze for a moment, not realizing what he was referring to, until he directed me to look somewhere.

"Hold on." Lin Chongtan said.

Although I have been in a relationship with Lin Chongtan for more than a year, I have never dared to look at him. Lin Chongtan once asked me to help him with my hands, but because I didn't want to, I didn't succeed.

Seeing that I was not moving, Lin Chongtan urged in a gentle voice, "I can't always help you, right? Xiaodi, I'm a little tired today, so can you come by yourself?"

For a moment, I wanted to leave here, but I just took a poem by Lin Chongtan.

"Xiaodi?" Lin Chongtan called me.

My body trembled slightly, and I slowly lowered my head.But after a few breaths, I lay down beside the bed and retched.I couldn't vomit anything, I just coughed violently, and after I gradually suppressed the pain in my stomach, I suddenly realized something, and turned to look at Lin Chongtan beside me.

Lin Chongtan's hand that stroked my long hair just now was already clenched into a fist, and he looked at me coldly with a frosty complexion.My body trembled again, and I tried to get out of here with my arms propped up. I don't want to do this kind of thing anymore.

But Lin Chongtan grabbed my ankle and dragged me back to him.

"What are you hiding from? Don't you want me to write poems and articles for you anymore?" Lin Chongtan held me in his arms and didn't allow me to move.

I always feel that Lin Chongtan tonight is different from the past, his attitude towards me is frivolous and joking.

I didn't know what to say, I could only shake my head and look at him.

"Crying again, why are you crying? Do you think I bullied you?" He said, but he saw that my eyes showed no pity, but rather indifference, "It's fine if you don't want to do what you just did, but Xiaodi Legs apart."

Only then did I know that Lin Chongtan didn't hear me asking him to extinguish the candle, he didn't want to extinguish it, he looked at me with a very superior attitude, and I didn't look like a low-level whore.

"Yangji, open the door!"

Liangji was awakened by my voice, and opened the door sleepily. When he saw me at the door, he was obviously stunned.I wasn't in the mood to care what Liangji was thinking at this moment, I walked into the room with weak steps, locked the door, and then slumped on the floor no longer able to hold on.

"Master Chun, what's wrong with you?"

Liangji asked me outside.

I can't get back to him, because whenever I speak, my crying voice will come out.I sobbed softly, almost breaking down, feeling filthy.

No one is dirtier than me, and no one is meaner than me.

The next day, Bai Chi came to deliver things. The last layer of the food box contained ointment and a piece of paper. On the paper was a new poem written by Lin Chongtan on Maple Leaf letter paper in lower case with hairpin flowers.

Before Bai Chi left, he hesitated to speak, I had no intention of meeting anyone at this time, I just pretended I didn't see it, hid my face in the brocade quilt, and let Liangji see off the guest with a hoarse voice.

A few days later, Xu Dianxue returned my seal and found the paper on which I had copied Lin Chongtan's new poem on the desk.Before I could stop him, he had already picked up the paper and read out the poem.

"Bing but lovesickness, I know it's useless recently. You can't throw it away, and you will find each other in your dreams... Chundi, your new poem is also very well written. Lovesickness can't be achieved in reality, but it can only be realized in dreams, but the big dream Fang Xing, there are only lilacs in front of the window, and there are no beautiful women. Recently, some friends and I are preparing a collection of poems, so let’s include yours in it too.”

"No." I instinctively refused, but after meeting Xu Dianxue's strange eyes, I stopped talking.

"Chundi, do you have any concerns? Don't worry, this poem will be included in the anthology, and your name will be signed. If the book sells well and spreads all over the world, you will naturally receive money."

Spread to the north and south?

Will my father who is far away in Gusu also see it?

I tried to show Xu Dianxue the new poem I wrote with so much effort, but Xu Dianxue only glanced at it briefly, and then picked up the poem written by Lin Chongtan.The words of my refusal became unspoken, and finally I watched Xu Dianxue take away the poem written by Lin Chongtan.

Friends of Xu Dianxue also liked the poem written by Lin Chongtan very much. They asked Xu Dianxue to come to me again, hoping that I could write some more poems.

I declined and said that I had no inspiration recently, Xu Dianxue showed regret, but soon, he reassured me that there is no need to worry.

Since Lin Chongtan's poem was spread to the brothel music workshop and was widely sung by women in the workshop, the third uncle heard it by chance at a banquet, and because he thought the lyrics were good, he asked the author of the next lyrics.

"Chundi, you are late to enlightenment, and you can write such things in just a few years, which shows that you have deep intentions. I don't think you need to worry about you, brother. You will be able to stand out one day. When the time comes, you will gain fame and glory for the Lin family. .”

The third uncle boasted about me a few times when I returned home from a rest, and then said to my cousin: "You need to learn more from the two cousins, you know?"

My cousin nodded obediently. Over the past two years, he is finally willing to talk to me, but sometimes he still likes to run away suddenly in front of me.

The third uncle asked him to learn from me, and my cousin came to me with his own book that day.Stupid as I was, I knew a thing or two about what he was learning.My cousin listened to my explanation and nodded like a little hamster from time to time. Seeing that he was cute, I couldn't help pinching his cheek for a moment.

With this pinch, my cousin's face suddenly turned crimson.He stared at me with wide eyes. I thought I was hurting from pinching, so I quickly touched the place I just pinched with my fingers, "Does it hurt?"

My cousin blushed even more, he shook his head desperately, stared at me for a while, and said abruptly, "Cousin Chun, can I touch your face?"

I froze for a moment, touching my face?What kind of strange request is this?

My cousin glanced at me, turned his face away again, and made a mosquito-like noise, "The teacher in our private school said... that he wants to learn how to draw figures, but I... I can't always draw well."

It turned out to be this reason.

I've tasted what it's like to be scolded by the master, and I didn't want my cousin to be scolded, so I poked my face forward, "Touch it."

The cousin shut his mouth tightly, as if he was afraid of me getting angry or something, he held his breath.Cautiously, he stretched out his fingers and touched my face lightly.It's just that he just bumped into it when a human voice suddenly sounded outside the window.

"Yunxiu, what are you doing?"

The cousin immediately withdrew his hand, stood up and smiled at the people outside the window, "Brother Tan."

I looked in the direction my cousin was looking at, and found that Lin Chongtan was standing under the magnolia tree outside the window.The magnolia flowers withered early, leaving only dead branches.He was dressed in a fine attire, and looked at this side with cold eyes.Seeing this, my cousin hurriedly put away his scroll and ran out.

After a while, I heard Lin Chongtan scolding my cousin, because he lowered his voice, I could only hear half a word.

"...Don't do it again... If there is anything you don't understand in the future, just ask me..."

Does he think I'm not worthy of a church brother?

I felt embarrassed and embarrassed, and thought that if it wasn't for Lin Chongtan's poem, my third uncle would not let my cousin learn from me.

After that day, my cousin never came to me to help me with my studies. Occasionally bumped into me alone, and then returned to his original form, hiding from me when he saw me.

And when I returned to Taixue after my rest, Qingqiu asked me to go to Lin Chongtan that night.I didn't want to go, but I wanted to ask him if he asked my cousin to ignore me.

After I went there, I saw a drunk Lin Chongtan.

Lin Chongtan was drunk again, and he was more clingy than last time. He hugged me and did ridiculous things in the bathtub. I was so angry that I couldn't bear it.But after being caught by him and kissing his feet repeatedly, that anger gradually turned into shame.

He was like a glutton, as if he was going to swallow me whole, but in this chaotic situation, I actually felt a tiny bit of need.

Lin Chongtan must have lied to me when he said that he would give me to the prince, he would not treat me like this.

I stayed at Lin Chongtan's place that night. The next day, I woke up earlier than the hangover Lin Chongtan. When I woke up, I was shocked to find that Lin Chongtan was still inside.I was too ashamed to look at him, I bit my lips and tried to separate carefully, but because of my actions, he woke up instead.

Lin Chongtan woke up and instinctively held me down. I closed my eyes at that moment, feeling ashamed to face others.The surroundings suddenly fell silent, and I found that Lin Chongtan didn't speak or move, so I slowly opened my eyes.

Finding him looking down at me, I nervously closed my eyes again.

"I owe you last night and today first." Lin Chongtan said softly, "I'm a little busy recently, so I'll write new words for you in a few days."

The shyness and tension in my heart faded like a tide, and I finally realized that the slightest need was just my own delusion.

I held back my tears and let out a hum.

Since then, every time I do that kind of thing with Lin Chongtan, he will write me poems, sometimes articles.

The collection of poems edited by Xu Dianxue and his friends began to be sold, and the response was good. Li Dianxue gave me part of the money from the sale, and I confiscated it and asked him to donate it as sesame oil.

Xu Dianxue said: "I still have something to do today. We are going to publish a second collection of poems. I wonder if you have any good works recently?"

I was silent for a long time and said, "Yes."