crown of thorns

Though I speak, does my sorrow not dissipate; though I stop speaking, will my sorrow leave me?

………………………………………………………——The Bible·Old Testament·The Book of Job

I broke up with Michael.

That day, when I returned to my residence from Lucifer, my heart was extremely sad.

I felt that I had become a tool, and I wondered why God didn’t punish me for falling in love with Michael.Now I know that He used me to take Michael's heart away from Lucifer.

When the world was first established, God always kept silent or gave me a few words about the past events on the first day.Now I gradually have eyebrows.Because the great light and the small light [Note: the sun and the moon, which appear only on the fourth day, and there is no accurate time scale that can be understood by people in the first three days] were born on the fourth day, so the first three days The length of the days cannot be known.

At that time, there were only God and Lucifer in the world.

Lucifer and God have a purely spiritual love for each other.This spiritual love is sublime, and they have eyes only for each other.Because God is God, the feeling of loneliness is very different.Only Lucifer can embrace him and hear his sigh.Because all carnal love is greatly hated by God.Therefore, what He sends out is full of spiritual love.

However, Lucifer disagreed.

He believes that physical love also has its value and character. It has intuitive pleasure. Although it seems low-level, it makes people feel authentic and reliable.So he started looking for a different kind of love, but he knew he couldn't. [Note: He originally refers to the third person of God, because Lucifer is actually listed with God, so Raziel also used him here. 】

The person he took a fancy to earlier was Lilith.

That was the woman who went out with Adam on the sixth day.Because the woman was very cheerful, she received a lot of care from Lucifer.Lucifer felt that she had real vigor and a humanity that angels could not match, so he loved her and was willing to combine with her.

After God knew about this, he drove Lilith out of the Garden of Eden.The woman described it as very ugly, and God also made her a dumb woman, who could no longer speak.And with this ugly body, he will wander around the whole earth, be ridiculed, driven out, persecuted by many peoples, until he dies.Her age is undetermined, depending on the Lord.So she was alive until the death of Enoch.

Lucifer's heart was extremely sad.For this reason they descended to the earth and refused to return.

As for confinement in the cave on the ground, look up at the sky for forty days.Until No.40, I met Michael.

His heart was gradually melted by Michael, for Michael was the liveliest of all the angels.

"Raziel, do you know why God created man?"

I shrugged and said I didn't know.

"Because he feels lonely. Even with angels, he is still lonely. Angels are more perfect than humans in everything. The only thing that is inferior to humans is human nature. Even Adam, who has not eaten the fruit of knowing good and evil, has a rough and simple human nature. .Because of roughness, God feels joy in looking at it. Adam, if you like it, say it, and if you don’t like it, hate it. Although humble, you dare to love. Human beings are presumptuous, chaotic, disorderly, stupid, unclean, and rude, but there are A little more than angels, is reality."

Angels are too calm, not vivid, maybe the angels I see today have a little personality, but in those days when Lucifer sat with God, he said that the angels have almost no personality, all are the same, perfect, considerate , Kindness, and admiration.There were no ups and downs in their faces, no emotions.

And everything began to change from Lucifer's lower realm and self-exile.

God began to gradually allow the angels to have a little bit of personality. At that time, there were three generations of angels, and after endowing the angels with different personalities, Lucifer knew that God wanted him to come back.

He also loves God. From the very beginning, from those ages that cannot tell how many years, He and God depended on each other, and passed through the long period of the loneliest and darkest period.So there is today's rich and colorful world.

Perhaps the first meeting between Michael and Lucifer was also arranged by God. Lucifer's desire to return was also influenced by Michael.But God soon knew that Lucifer was tempted by Michael.However, Michael is also of great significance to God.

He is also a proud creation of God.Although angels come out with the characteristics of God, they also care about God because of the manipulation of the acquired flesh.Although Michael is fit, his figure is very well-proportioned, and his muscles are not exaggerated or redundant.The appearance is extremely handsome, and his appearance is considered outstanding among all kinds of angels. Because he has received special care from God, he has a stronger personality than other angels.The endless personality that Lucifer likes is most prominent in Michael.

Lucifer and I are attracted by this characteristic.

Because when God created me, He didn’t create me so carefully. He originally regarded me as a private secretary. Because I was obedient and well-behaved, and I didn’t speak casually, so He deliberately created me.

However, Lucifer became more and more obsessed with Michael, and God had no choice but to transform me. I never knew the process of transformation, nor did I know when my ordinary body began to approach Lucifer.My appearance is more outstanding than before, and my thinking is also close to that of Lucifer. Although I have a calm personality, I prefer lively and healthy angels in my heart.My body was the slender type that Michael liked, but God made me smaller on purpose.Michael is a brave hero, but actually prefers to be petite.Therefore, my description is more like his liking, slender and well-proportioned, similar to Lucifer, but looks much weaker.Naturally, it is not as perfect as Lucifer, but it can arouse Michael's desire to protect.

So when Michael first met me, he began to fall in love with me.

It's just that this emotion was not noticed at first, and when I first met him, I also began to fall in love with Michael.

Since then, Lucifer has cut off the idea of ​​loving Michael.

It turns out that things that belong to the mutual gratification are all in the hands of God.

After such a long time, I realized for the first time that I am just a doll, and I am just at the mercy of God.Since I was born, I have never doubted God, and I also regard God as the father of all living beings, the master I am devoted to, maybe if I am more ordinary in thinking, I can naturally accept this arrangement, because God is the ruler of all things, Could it be that feelings cannot be mastered by Him?

But I am Raziel, why does Raziel feel cheated by the person closest to her?

I don't know, but I'm so sad.

I burst into tears, terribly sad.

My love for Michael did not come from my original intention. Since then, I feel that the whole world suddenly has nothing to be attached to.Lucifer earnestly told me that because my status was not as high as Michael’s and far inferior to Lucifer’s, so I knew these things, and I must not tell them, because once I said it, God would know that I knew these things.

From then on, when I mentioned Lucifer in private, I no longer used him as a regular person, but called him as a godhead.

Because I know that Lucifer's position is far above all the angels, but I can't say.

From then on, I began to reject Michael, I told him that I was tired of him.

I want him to leave my place, I want to break up with him.

It's hard for me to forget the first time Michael and I had a big fight.Since I left Lucifer's location, I stopped talking. Michael asked me what happened, but I refused to say anything.

My heart is breaking because my crush on Michael is so uncontrollable.I wanted to kiss him and hug him so much, but when I knew that all of this was a scam and was arranged by others, I had no choice but to cry.

Michael, your true love does not belong to me, everything about us is full of manipulation and lies.

I can't say that, I can only pretend to be calm, I deliberately lost a book, put the blame on Michael, and started berating him and yelling at him.I have never said anything harsh since the beginning.But this time I said it, Michael was not convinced at first, and talked back to me, but suddenly he seemed to realize the problem, because this matter is really abnormal.

I've never been so angry with him, nor have I had this kind of temper.I knew he was starting to doubt my motives, so I could only tell him lightly: because, I'm tired of you, I think you're annoying, stupid, and I don't have feelings for you anymore.

"These are not reasons, you are lying to me." Michael's reply was as I expected.

"We have to break up, that's it. You don't come to my place anymore, I don't want to see you." I turned around and didn't look at him anymore.

"Who is it because of? Lucifer? Or God? Is there anyone who won't let us be together?"

"No." I pretended to be calm, "I'm leaving. Emotions are a farce. Emotions come and go quickly. There is no reason. Besides, this is not what an angel should bear. Love is God and nothing else. I've done a lot of wrong things and now I'm going back to God."

I flew away, my wings were so fast, I don't know what happened to Michael, but at least he couldn't catch me.I flew to the Milky Way, and saw many angels by the Milky Way, so I flew to the Garden of Eden, but Raphael was in the garden.I had no choice but to fly to the west bank of the Red Sea, not far away, where I defeated Ephesus with Van Kil.

Then I cried.

Weeping loudly, crying heart-piercingly.

For three days and three nights, tears flowed.

My tears, like an unstoppable river, keep flowing down, and the Red Sea is full of my sorrow.

The author has something to say: