Li Zhang

Sima Yi seemed to know what Feng Yu was thinking, and before he could come up with any tricks, he took advantage of the approaching Ghost Festival to announce his audience.

Feng Yu only said that Sima Yi only saw him, and went over happily, but saw many officials sitting or standing in the room, discussing something with Sima Yi, Feng Yu was stopped by Eunuch Xi.

He stood on one side in a regular manner, although he was curious in his heart, he remembered that rules are rules.

Eunuch Xi is an old man next to Emperor Jing, who was kept by Sima Yi because of his tight mouth and decent handling of affairs. He still had some relationship with the Empress Dowager in private, but he didn't dare to sell Sima Yi completely.After all, Sima Yi is the emperor, and the empress dowager will only be in charge of the harem, so he always says one thing and leaves three things behind.

At this time, he looked at Fengyu's beautiful face and graceful figure, and thought of Li Zhang for no reason, and felt that compared with Li Zhang, who was as thorny as the ash tree in his hometown, the delicate Fengyu had a softer and softer style, He is more like a fox demon than Li Zhang.

Eunuch Xi's slander was silent, but Feng Yu turned her head to look at him as if sensing something, hesitated, and showed a beautiful and innocent smile.

Eunuch Xi trembled unconsciously, knowing that this person is also a powerful character, he pretended to cough, and went back to the house with his whisk.

Feng Yu stood outside with back ache, and saw people coming out one after another after noon, thinking about Sima Yi's order, she lowered her head a little more.Fortunately, everyone didn't pay attention to the little imperial edict who was waiting at the side, Feng Yu let out a sigh of relief, but felt a little bit disappointed.

After Mr. Xi passed the meal in, he also passed Feng Yu in.Feng Yu saw that there was no one else in the room except Eunuch Xi, so after saluting, she naturally approached to serve Sima Yi with vegetables, and said slightly complaining: "The emperor is really hard to see."

Sima Yi was in a good mood, and introduced to Eunuch Xi with a smile: "This is Feng Yu, who has been with Gu for many years. It's a little bit of effort. Gu just allowed him to be such a small official, and I still need Mr. Xi to take care of him and teach him the rules, so as not to accidentally offend the empress dowager again..."

Eunuch Xi nodded and bowed his head while listening, but at the end he was taken aback and looked at Sima Yi cautiously.Sima Yihun asked Fengyu indifferently: "Have you been familiar with the affairs of the tenure these few days?"

Feng Yu replied politely: "It's all clear."

Sima Yi nodded, and continued with a serious expression: "The case of King Ning back then involved a lot of blood and blood, and I was always uneasy. Now that the rebellion has suffered repeated setbacks, and Mu Yan is also blood-stained on the battlefield. It’s hard to sleep at night. As the Mid-Yuan Festival is approaching, I just want to hold a Yulan basin ceremony in the palace to save those souls who died due to loneliness.”

Feng Yu recalled the scene she saw in West Market that day, and her heart was also heavy, and she answered "The Emperor is merciful" in a low voice, her voice was also solemn.

Sima Yi glanced at Eunuch Xi seemingly inadvertently, and continued: "The purchase of the clothes for the festival is left to the Imperial Household Order. Don't make up your own mind. You need to listen carefully to the advice of the Empress Dowager, and don't annoy her!"

Feng Yu was a little nervous when she heard the words, looked up at Sima Yi who opened his mouth to say something and then swallowed it back, Eunuch Xi agreed from the side, "Your maidservant will bring the imperial edict over there personally."

Sima Yi nodded, and added another sentence at the end: "I want the whole palace to sacrifice together, don't miss anyone!"

Feng Yu gritted her teeth secretly.

The long-awaited meeting ended like this, and Feng Yu didn't even know what Sima Yi wanted to do.Just to help Li Zhang make a dress?please!Then there is no need to go by yourself!

Feng Yu returned to the courtyard where she was working, listlessly listening to the assistant's various reports, and suddenly felt extremely bored.With a cold face, he threw up his sleeves, left the assistant who didn't know why, and went out.

He wandered around the palace aimlessly, not daring to go to crowded places, and gradually walked more and more secluded.After passing through a moon gate, a garden with luxuriant vegetation and red flowers and willows suddenly appeared in front of my eyes, which was several times larger than the palace.Feng Yu immediately felt relieved.He walked along the path, looking for his favorite water.

Sure enough, after bypassing several confusing winding paths, the eyes suddenly opened up, a pool of clear water reflected the blue sky, and the breath of the water floated up and down with the fragrance of flowers and herbs, making me feel drunk.He sighed and closed his eyes, and used to touch the flute at his waist, but opened his eyes again in disappointment.

At this moment, he heard some strange sounds not far away, like metal hitting the ground, but there was the sound of a broom mopping back and forth. He followed the sound curiously to find it.

Behind a fake mountain gate, it is no longer within the scope of the forest garden. A tidy cobblestone road is in front of you. On the opposite side is a towering palace wall with several cornices protruding majestically from the top of the wall.

Feng Yu knew that the inner palace was already on the opposite side, so she couldn't help hesitating, and was about to turn back, when she caught a glimpse of a man with his head bowed and sweeping the floor not far away, coming towards this side.Feng Yu's heartbeat increased for no reason, and she hid sideways in the dark of the rockery, waiting for the man to approach step by step.

It seemed like an hour had passed before Feng Yu saw that person emerging from the door opening, but who was it if it wasn't Li Zhang? !

Feng Yu covered her mouth in shock.

It was already summer, and the sun was starting to be scorching. People in the palace had changed into light summer clothes, but Li Zhang was still wearing a cotton jacket with sweat stains on the neckline, and it was loosely covering his body, as if he was wearing a lonely body. skeleton.

When Feng Yu saw Li Zhang last time, she already felt that he was too thin, and now she has completely lost his previous appearance.Except for the still beautiful pair of distant mountain ink eyebrows, and the thick and long eyelashes under the eyebrows, there is no trace of Feng Yu's familiarity on his face, and even the full lips have lost the last trace of color, becoming Pale and withered.

Li Zhang stopped, and Feng Yu shrank back a little bit into the shadows in fear of being discovered.

Li Zhang who stopped moving raised his hand to wipe off the fine sweat on his forehead, closed his eyes dizzily for a while, took off the water bag hanging from his waist, and drank the water slowly.The inner eunuch who guarded him dragged the chain and locked it to the front, only then did Feng Yu see clearly that the chain was directly around Li Zhang's waist, and a big lock was hung behind him.

"You can just finish sweeping this road today. The sun is very poisonous. Our family has a rest, so don't be lazy!"

After listening to the eunuch's bluffing orders, Feng Yu stomped away without waiting for Li Zhang to answer.He was curious in his heart, and had some unexplained sympathy for Li Zhang, so he suddenly walked out from behind the fake mountain gate while there was no one around.

Suddenly seeing Feng Yu and Li Zhang, he was taken aback for a moment, and after seeing his clothes clearly, he lowered his eyes again.Feng Yu suddenly felt a little proud.

"Young Master Li, are you offending the Empress Dowager?"

Li Zhang didn't answer, but lifted his spirits and continued to sweep the floor.

Feng Yu held the broom unhappyly, Li Zhang struggled, but failed to break free, so he simply stood still and looked up at Feng Yu.

Feng Yu took a deep breath.

Li Zhang's eyes were still dark and deep, with less agility and brilliance, but more quiet and introverted eyes, so deep that it seemed to make people addicted, Feng Yu took a step back involuntarily.

Li Zhang didn't pay attention for a moment, the broom was brought into his arms by Feng Yu.

He thought it was a little funny, but he didn't want to make an effort to laugh. He looked at Feng Yu silently for a while, reached out to hold the broom, and brought the belt slightly to his side.

Feng Yu let go as if awakened.

Li Zhang, who regained his broom, bypassed Feng Yu and continued to sweep the floor. His movements were sluggish and procrastinated, as if he had exhausted all his strength with each stroke.

Unwillingly, Feng Yu stood in front of Li Zhang again: "The emperor wants to see you, you can't continue like this!"

Li Zhang didn't raise his head: "I don't want to see him."

Feng Yu was stunned, and looked at Li Zhang in disbelief: "Why? If the emperor knew about you like this, he would definitely not..."

Li Zhang was indifferent: "So what?"

Feng Yu closed her mouth.

Knowing that the three of them have fallen into the vicious circle of wanting nothing, they just can't get out.Ask, can't, can't ask, can't.

The crazy idea in Feng Yu's heart popped up again, hating herself and Li Zhang even more, just like when she was standing in the dungeon that day, she looked at Li Zhang coldly and aloofly, and said: "I swore, I won't let you hurt him again."

Li Zhang straightened up and looked at Feng Yu like a monster: "Shall I hurt him? Well, how can I not hurt him? Li Zhang is very dull, please ask Mr. Feng for advice!"

Feng Yu was so angry that she grabbed Li Zhang's collar, gritted her teeth and said, "You are such a goblin! You only harm people! Last time, I should have killed you directly!"

Li Zhang heard people scolding the evildoer for several months, but at this moment he was aroused by Feng Yu's voice, and tried his best to pull Feng Yu's hand away, and said coldly: "If I am really a monster, maybe Let you people live in peace!"

Snapped!

Feng Yu slapped Li Zhang hard on the head, his eyes were so red that they were about to bleed, as if he was facing a sworn enemy.

Li Zhang swayed dizzily, all kinds of discomfort came to his head, and he suddenly broke out in a cold sweat, so uncomfortable that he wanted to vomit.But he looked at Feng Yu indifferently, and continued to say with a sneer on his face: "I am a demon, and I know that monsters have different ways, but you people, why do you want to get entangled with monsters? In the end, you have to say that they are all demons, right?" ! Ha ha! This is not a matter of right and wrong, it really is not something a demon can understand!"

He has accumulated grievances for a long time, and since he was forced by Sima Yi during his illness, he has been pressing one by one heavily in his heart.The death of his mother, the unfeelingness of his master, and Jin Bai's abandonment were like heavy pillars, which made him unable to straighten up.He had already doubted the meaning of insisting at the beginning, and suspected that the path he took was wrong at all.However, the more he thought about it, the more his heart ached, it was like cutting his heart out, and he knew that he couldn't even regret it.

Can't regret it.

Can't regret it.

But there is no way forward.

What else can he do? !

Desire to die, but always unwilling.Only then did Jin Bai's request be forced to continue living.

Alive.

just live.

But his heart didn't die like he thought it would. Slowly, he was moved by Bai Qi, Sun Yuyi, and those beautiful things in the world that seemed to have nothing to do with him, and he gradually regained the idea of ​​living.

But those heavy burdens still weighed on him, pulling his heart up and down in sinking and sublimation.He was irresistibly overwhelmed, could only not think about it, could only do his best to ignore it.Now Feng Yu directly pierced the shell directly, like a dam filled with an ant's nest, it can no longer stop the rushing flood, and it bursts down in one fell swoop!

He couldn't hold back the grief and grievance in his heart anymore, light flashed out of his dark eyes again, but there was a self-destructive madness: "Since you insist on saying that I am a demon, then I am a demon! Walking in the way of demons, I have no intention of walking your Kangzhuang way, and you should not blame me for all the shit you step on! How difficult is it to want me to die, I am a little demon with no mountains and no caves Is it possible to find out the sky? Why bother with those who want to commit crimes! Even if Li Zhang dies, no one will seek justice for me, Mr. Feng will do it himself!"

Li Zhang talked too much at once, his heart was beating like a drum, and the veins in his temples seemed to burst.He felt all kinds of discomforts in this dilapidated body, and his heart became more and more sad. He only felt that the world was vast, but there was no way for him, and he wanted to live, but there was no way to live.

He didn't know when he squatted down, hugged his knees with his hands and tightly huddled himself up, exposing his fragile neck as if resigned to his fate.

Feng Yu was completely frightened.

He has watched Li Zhang for many years, from the young and timid when he first entered the mansion, to the later silence and forbearance, Li Zhang has always had a tooth-breaking and blood-swallowing temper, no matter how much punishment he receives, he will not say a word.But today, what happened today?

No one will seek justice for him, the emperor is so big, who dares to touch his beard!

Thinking of Sima Yi, Feng Yu immediately turned over the vinegar vat again, not knowing what Li Zhang was tossing about, he already held the emperor tightly, what else could he do? !If it goes well, will the emperor be worse than he is now? !Thinking of how I tried my best to please him, but didn't get a little more review from that person, I felt even more self-pity, and couldn't help picking up the broom on the ground bitterly, and swung it against Li Zhang's back.

There was a light snort, and Feng Yu's shoulders were in sharp pain, and the broom fell to the ground, and she was suddenly covered in cold sweat.He didn't dare to think about who it was, he could only secretly pray that he would not sell himself to the emperor, and retreated from Linyuan in a panic.

Li Zhang buried himself for a long time before he calmed down the turmoil in his heart. His heart was full of exhaustion and self-abandonment as if he had died once again. He didn't care when Feng Yu left. Take him back to the abandoned courtyard without saying a word.

As soon as the inner prisoner left, Bai Qi appeared from the hiding place, stood in front of Li Zhang who was sitting on the chair and didn't know where to look, and asked nonchalantly, "Are you okay?"

Li Zhang returned to his senses slightly, and replied with a smile, but he didn't know that the smile didn't even lift the lines on his lips, it was more like hesitating to speak.

Bai Qi couldn't bear it, and continued to ask in a rare way: "Who is he?"

Li Zhang was stunned for a while before he realized it, he was surprised that Bai Qi was asking the bottom line, but he still simply told him: "He is Feng Yu, the male servant of the palace."

He didn't want to mention Sima Yi, so he simply mentioned the palace, and Bai Qi continued to look at him with a strange expression.

After being disturbed by Bai Qi, Li Zhang's dead feeling in his heart loosened a little, so he got up to fetch water. When he closed the door, he saw that Bai Qi was still standing there, not moving. How about going out for a while?"

Bai Qi came back to his senses suddenly as if startled, and rushed out like boiling water scalding his feet, and disappeared in a flash.

Li Zhang was stunned for a moment, then shook his head amusedly, feeling lighter again.

Although he was under the supervision of Bai Qi and took medicine and porridge for more than a month, his stomach pain improved a lot, but his body was weak and suffered serious injuries one after another. However, the vitality of the body itself has not been replenished. Until now, it is still very weak, and the coolness in the morning and evening of summer cannot be resisted.

He untied his clothes and wiped his body carefully, even his hair, carefully and attentively.He lives alone in an abandoned courtyard, and Yongshou Palace only delivers food once a day, and even the tea is often cold, let alone hot water.His body was weak and couldn't bear the cold water, and it had been a long time since he had a good bath. For him who loves cleanliness by nature, he had already disliked himself for a long time.

The sun went down, but the heat was still transpiring on the barren grass in the yard.Li Zhang hurriedly washed his clothes while there was still light, but Bai Qi suddenly jumped out again and handed him a pack of sauced meat and two steamed buns.

Li Zhang glanced at it, but didn't answer it.

Because the food and beverages distributed by Yongshou Palace made Imperial Physician Sun slander endlessly, Bai Qi, who couldn't stand his nagging, finally made his own claim again, and secretly went to the Imperial Dining Room to bring some delicious food to Li Zhang.Doctor Sun was also there that day, and he smiled furtively when he saw it, but told Li Zhang not to disappoint Bai Qi's kindness.After that, Bai Qi would bring some food to Li Zhang every now and then, and Li Zhang's heart was warmed by him and Sun Yuyi, and he no longer wanted to die, so he always refused to come.But today, he didn't have any appetite for food.

"What?" Bai Qi didn't know why, and frowned blankly.

While drying the clothes, Li Zhang said, "I'm already healed, so you don't need to take care of me anymore."

Bai Qi raised his eyebrows and looked him up and down, then curled his lips disapprovingly.

Li Zhang laughed and said, "I was born weak by my mother, and I can't compare to you."

Bai Qi was silent for a while, and asked, "Because of that Feng Yu?"

Li Zhang's smile faded away, looking at the gradually darkening sky, after a long time, he said softly: "If I'm really a monster, it would be great!"

"you……"

Li Zhang laughed again, in Bai Qi's eyes, he suddenly understood what a forced smile is.He smiled and patted the front of his clothes, turned around and walked into the house, casually saying as he walked, "One day when the outside calms down, let me know."

"Outside? Calm down?" Bai Qi looked confused.

Li Zhang looked at him strangely: "Is there no war?"

"You mean rebellious?"

"Ah."

"..."

"how?"

"Master Mu, he is dead."

Li Zhang shook his body and stared at Bai Qi in disbelief.Bai Qi was a little flustered, and stammered a few words. Li Zhang sat down against the door frame as if he couldn't stand, his face was frighteningly white, his eyes were stunned, and there was a faint frenzy beating at the end of the blackness. .

Bai Qi bent down to look at him worriedly: "Are you okay?"

Li Zhang closed his eyes.It took a long time to open it again, and looked down at the hand that was tightly grasping the skirt of the shirt, and slowly and little by little let it go.

He stood up slowly, keeping his eyes on the ground, and said dumbly: "Master is gone because of my fault, can I be okay?"

Bai Qi was speechless, watched him enter the room silently, and closed the door behind his back.

Li Zhang was sleepless all night.As long as you close your eyes, you will see all kinds of majestic forms in front of you, serious, gentle, annoyed, satisfied, hating iron, confused, and finally frozen in the moment when the eyes full of pain and despair are closed , the meridian points between his chest and abdomen felt severe pain at the same time, just like the moment when Mu Yan closed his eyes that day.

Tears flowed from his wide-open eyes in the darkness, silently sliding down his cheeks, endlessly.

It turned out that the mistakes I made were so unforgivable, and my grievances were hypocritical.He has no right to complain about anything.

The next day, when Bai Qi saw Li Zhang again, he felt that he had turned back into Li Zhang who was against him and refused to take medicine. He didn't know what to do, but looked at him more carefully.

The author has something to say:

Li Zhang is so pitiful, he was forced into this by me...

Of course, what clothes to make for the Ghost Festival is all my nonsense.