fall in love too early

The author has something to say: Although I have done a lot of mistakes, but love is true love

Naturally, Lu Baifei had an uneasy night.The embarrassment and indignation of Qi Jia when he left in a hurry made him unbearable, and he also felt that he had done too much.

As soon as Qi Jia got home, she rushed into the bathroom, lay down next to the toilet and vomited up the wine she drank that night.But the memory cannot be reset, the cold voice and expression when Lu Baifei asked him to take off his clothes has been lingering in his mind, Qi Jia trembles whenever he thinks about it.

He felt that Lu Baifei really didn't love him anymore.No matter what Qi Jia did again, it would be of no avail.

Not long after falling asleep that night, Qi Jia developed a fever, and she still felt cold even after covering two quilts.The sequelae of that broken relationship didn't fully flare up until six years later, as if they were going to force Qi Jia to feel the same feelings that Lu Baifei once had.

After being ill for three or four days in a row, when Qi Jia occasionally woke up, she repeatedly decided not to think about Lu Baifei anymore.But once he fell asleep, his dream was full of his shadow, speaking soft words, holding Qi Jia, making it hard for Qi Jia to let go.

Lu Baifei didn't know about Qi Jia's illness, but he didn't receive any breakfast or soup since then, which seemed to imply that Qi Jia had given up.

The cleaned insulation boxes in the kitchen were still stacked by the dining table and were not returned as scheduled.Every time Lu Baifei saw it, the sourness in his heart seemed to increase a little.

Until early in the morning a few days later, he ran into Qi Jia's assistant at the stairs.Wearing a gray professional suit and holding two breakfast bags in his hand, the other party greeted Lu Baifei politely, "Mr. Lu, good morning."

Lu Baifei's first reaction was to ask how Qi Jia was doing, but he hesitated and couldn't ask.

On the contrary, the assistant was very good at observing words and expressions, and took the initiative to tell him, "Our Boss Qi has been sick for a few days and was too sick to get out of bed. I just got better today, so I'm going back to work."

In this way, the reason for the interruption of breakfast is explained sideways.

Lu Baifei still told her as before, don't give her breakfast anymore.

The assistant still smiled politely as before, "Ms. Lu, if you don't eat, you can deal with it as you like. We use money to do things. If we don't bring breakfast, Mr. Qi will think that we are not doing our job well."

So Lu Baifei didn't want to embarrass the other party anymore, so he had to take the bag, take it home and put it in the refrigerator, only to find that there was still a soup made by Qi Jia in it, which was still in the same type of heat preservation box, with a sticker on it. A handwritten note: Sydney Polygonatum Soup.

A patient who probably didn't even take good care of himself, how did he cook soup for Lu Baifei?

Holding the warm insulation box in his hand, Lu Baifei squatted in front of the refrigerator for a while, feeling quite complicated.

There is no way to go on like this, he thought.It's better to find an opportunity to make it clear to Qi Jia face to face.

Because of the delay due to illness, Qi Jia accumulated a lot of work in his hands.It was already late that day when the driver took him home, and as soon as he got out of the car, he received another call from his partner.

Qi Jia simply didn't go upstairs, and waved the driver to leave first.He stood by the garden of the community, talking to his partner while letting himself breathe.

Lu Baifei also passed by the garden at about the same time, he slowed down because he heard a familiar voice, and followed the sound to look over.I saw Qi Jia standing under a street lamp not far away, holding a mobile phone in one hand and rubbing his forehead with the other, with a cigarette between the fingers of the hand rubbing his head.

Lu Baifei looked at him quietly for half a minute through the low bushes.

I don't know if it was because of illness, but Qi Jia looked thinner than the day before.The shirt was worn on him, and the waistline was so cinched that it looked like a tight grip.But after all, he is not the thin boy that he was back then. When Lu Baifei saw him recently, Qi Jia was wearing a shirt and trousers. He fits well with this kind of attire, and he always has a bit of gentle and stern abstinence feel.

Qi Jia was talking on the phone, covered her mouth and coughed twice, unexpectedly raised her eyes, and saw Lu Baifei a few steps away.The partner was still talking on the other end of the phone, but Qi Jia's voice stopped abruptly.

Lu Baifei was standing under the steps of the bushes, his face was calm, as if he was waiting for Qi Jia to finish talking on the phone.

Qi Jia apologized to his partner and said that he would contact him later, then hastily closed the line, turned around and extinguished the cigarette butt in the trash can beside him.Lu Baifei had already climbed up the stairs and walked towards him.

Qi Jia turned around and looked at him, until there was only one step between the two of them.Qi Jia called Lu Baifei in a low voice, "Brother Lu."

His voice was still a little hoarse, and he looked pale and lacked energy.

Lu Baifei said, "I'm still smoking when I'm sick." The tone was flat and straightforward, and it was hard to tell if he was blaming or caring.

Qi Jia smiled and nodded, "Stop smoking."

"I'm not addicted. I just get busy sometimes and find something to refresh myself." He said again, actually wanting to say "If you don't like it, I won't smoke in the future", but then I thought it was out of proportion, He must be hated by Lu Baifei, so he suppressed it and said nothing more.

Both were silent for a moment.It was Lu Baifei who spoke again.

He said, "Qi Jia, don't deliver after breakfast, and don't make soup anymore."

Qi Jia's pupils contracted a little, and his expression seemed to be suffocated.

Lu Baifei hardened her heart and continued, "What happened that night... I was not calm enough, I hope you can understand. We have been separated for so long, it is very difficult to be friends, and it is unrealistic to get back together."

He made his refusal clear and clear, leaving no room for Qi Jia to change things.

Qi Jia has heard many people call her name, but no one is like Lu Baifei, with a deep voice and a gentle tone, which always makes Qi Jia feel a heartbreaking fall.

"Qi Jia, maybe I should have made it clear earlier, and shouldn't delay until now." Lu Baifei spoke slowly and calmly, with his hands in his trouser pockets.But in this place where Qi Jia couldn't see, he pinched his palm.

"Some feelings in this world may be like this, and there is no way to do it all over again."

After Lu Baifei finished speaking, he didn't leave immediately.Probably because he wanted to give Qi Jia some time to let the two of them talk.

Qi Jia remained silent for a longer period of time. He took a deep breath before saying, "I went to see a psychiatrist and had an in-depth conversation. The conclusion of the diagnosis is that my self-injury behavior does not involve mental problems. There is an instinctual resistance to the processing of negative emotions. In other words, I am so dependent on an emotion that I have lost the ability to properly fight it."

"The psychiatrist believed that my self-will was strong enough and suggested that I use a strong psychological suggestion to end this behavior pattern. After thinking about it, I chose...that tattoo, and since then there has been no self-harm behavior. "

Qi Jia tried to explain his changes over the years. Although his heart was swept by the tide of despair, the man standing in front of him still made him unable to give up.

He rubbed his face, looked at Lu Baifei, and said in a calm manner, "I guess you only have a few minutes for me, which is not enough for me to explain to you that I am no longer the ex that I can't bear to look back on."

"We once said that if we want to break up, we must think of a way. Don't let go so easily."

When Qi Jia said this, there were faint tears in his eyes, and his voice trembled faintly.

He was trying his best to calm down, and Lu Baifei felt distressed when he saw that he was obviously in pain but trying to restrain himself.

"Lu Baifei, is this good?" Qi Jia said very slowly, as if he was afraid that after saying this sentence, the belief in his heart that had been supported for six years would be shattered into pieces.

"This time you stand where you are, you don't have to do anything. I'll come back and find you instead."