Unreasonable

Another door was added to the forever closed door.

Younan stopped crying and closed the notebook.

see.In fact, I have always had nothing.

He tilted his head to look at the scenery outside the window. The sky was blue and white clouds were long, but he seemed to see the world turned upside down again in a trance, a magnificent scene, and a dead silence.

The picture flickered, and it was still the old sky, a blue sky and white clouds that had not changed for thousands of years.

He silently walked to the door of Zhiling's room, and knocked on the door:

"Zhiling, I was wrong. Don't leave, okay?"

Younan stood outside the door and stood there all the time, as if he would never leave.

He has always been looking, waiting, and expecting like a dog.No matter how you cold him, hang him, push him, or yell at him, he won't leave.

He doesn't go.

He never leaves.

Youyi chased him away, made a wish to chase him away, and Zhiling chased him away, let alone leave.

Even if it is unreasonable to make trouble and stalking, he will continue to insist on it, and will not let go.

"Zhiling, I'll be waiting for you outside the door, and I will never leave. Just treat me as your loyal dog who will not betray, or an AI programmed to never leave. Just Zhiling, I beg you , don't ignore me."

Zhiling leaned against the door, grabbed the doorknob with his backhand, and turned his face to the crack of the door.

He sighed lightly:

"Yunan, listen to me, I'm really sorry that I can't face you right now. I'm really messed up. I think I should think about it by myself and be quiet for a while. You...don't be sad I don't know how to comfort you...Don't be sad, there is nothing wrong with liking someone, even if he doesn't like you...I'm not saying I don't like you, I just want to say it's okay It's embarrassing, you just like someone, even if he doesn't like you there's nothing embarrassing... sorry I don't know what I'm talking about...you just like someone.... ..”

Younan's heart sank when he heard Zhiling's words.

He stretched out his hand, and with his fingertips on the door, he said softly:

"I know. You know I like you and you don't like me, but you don't want me to feel bad about it."

Zhiling slowly let go of the doorknob, and slid with his back against the door.

After a long time, he suddenly said:

"maybe."

Repeat again:

"It's not necessarily that I don't like you."

He sat on the ground with his back against the door, and his eyes fell on the window.

"But there is Nan. You give me a little time, let me think. Think about my feelings for you, and our future..."

Younan's heart tightened suddenly!

Many years later, when Younan recalled it, he still felt that it was really the longest evening in his life.

He has survived countless sunrises and sunsets, the ice and snow wasteland, and the sea and desert, but he has never been more unbearable than this ordinary front door.

It's like the last judgment, like the moment when the infinitely extended life hangs by a thread, like chasing after a mirage, like Kuafu rushing day by day.

In fact, there is nothing to compare.

Nothing made him feel more uncomfortable than waiting for Zhiling to open the door.

The sun fell weakly, buried in the overlapping buildings.Dark blue clouds floated from afar, covering the city.

Younan's legs were stiff, but he didn't move.

This house, when Younan stepped into it for the first time, was filled with a warm smell of fireworks, but at this time it was shrouded in darkness.

In the huge space, only one person could be vaguely seen standing at the door on the second floor, the only person.

There was no light on in the door he was guarding.

44. No.40 Four unreasonable troubles

◎I really committed a crime. ◎

Zhiling was still leaning against the door, as if thinking, but he wasn't.

He was completely sluggish, and the words Nan Nian kept playing back in his mind.

He thought, what is the long cold night, what is the gloomy sea of ​​stars, what is the endless poetry and distant places.

Why the journey is loneliness, why I am delusional, why... light...

He also remembered the last time Younan lost control of his emotions and said to him in the rose garden: "I begged for the blessing of the stars in the dark sky, and struggled silently in the loneliness behind me. Swirling in the mist."

What is the dark sky, what is the starlight.

Why is it lonely by myself, and why is it said that I was born in the mist?

"It's nothing, I just suddenly wanted to ask, Zhiling, do you like me?"

"Then can I trouble you to like me a little more?"

"Because I'm a baby."

"When I was young, I was always alone and had a bad life. I felt that the only pain I could get was the loneliness with blank eyes. I didn't understand the meaning of living. So often, I would try to end my life."

"You always have what you want, but I don't have what I want."

"18 years can make a person know nothing about society, can't peel eggs or care for quilts, and can also make a person lose the courage to make demands on the world."

"If possible, who wouldn't want to be a more greedy person? Who wouldn't want to be pampered, who wouldn't want to be pampered, who wouldn't want someone to come and ask you why you're sad when everyone is pointing at you and making trouble for no reason."

Zhiling sighed in the dark, not knowing what to do.

The room was pitch-black, and the street lamps downstairs faintly shone with soft light, which looked like jumping stars on the ground in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows.

He touched his heart and found that it was beating very fast.

He thought, do I like You Nan?How could I like You Nan?He is Younan, he should be his younger brother, how could he like Younan?

He kept thinking like that, kept asking, until...

A ray of sunlight in the distant sky broke through the clouds and fell into the room.

And then another trace, two traces, three traces...

The sky is slowly brightening up, it seems to be a great sunny day.

When the sun was high, Zhiling looked at the golden squares on the white tiles, and suddenly felt something loose in his heart.

Once there is a crack, those emotions that are well hidden, well concealed, and deliberately whitewashed will shatter that layer of barriers like the sun breaking through the clouds!

If you like it, you will like it.Zhiling suddenly thought that if two people are in love, they should be together.

but......

When did it start to be different?

When?Zhiling asked in his heart.

Thinking about it, it seems that it was different from the beginning.

It's just that every time he faces him, he's so used to it that he subconsciously forgets that he has such a good temper towards children.

Maybe I liked him from the beginning?

Zhiling stood up, thought for a while, took a few steps to the computer desk, turned over a piece of paper, picked up a pen, wrote a few lines carefully, and folded it.

He gently turned the doorknob, and the moment he opened the door, he met Younan's unbelievable eyes, and then, those dark eyes shone with full expectations, full of ecstasy and slight fear.

Younan stared blankly at Zhiling.

All his 18 years of persistence have been spent on waiting for someone to open the door.

Fortunately, this time, the door opened.

Zhi Lingqu wiped You Nan's tears with his index finger, and said softly, "You Nan, don't cry."

Younan cried even harder.

You see, I said, my tears only work here at Zhiling.

In 12 years, from ignorant preference to obsession that must be alone.During the years when I was alone, I fantasized about "if I was by his side", while laughing at my own wishful thinking, and having delusional thoughts in the blue sky and white day.

Every day is extravagant, every day is eagerly looking forward to, but more clearly than anyone else, he knows that this is impossible.

This is impossible.

Every time I think of him like a rose in my heart, I bite my lips and feel disappointed.

So at this moment, standing beside him, it was like living in a dream.

I was doing what I called yesterday's "extravagant wishing."

That's great, he is the only treasure I can get from the world.

Let’s go to Yuda’s wish list next year to fulfill my wish, haha.

Zhiling caressed the end of his eyes with his thumb, took his left hand, kissed him lightly on the ulna, and then stuffed the paper into Younan's hand.

"I'll watch it when you're alone.—Then I'm going to wake Li Ziyang up now?"

You Nan nodded, and went downstairs to the living room to put away his notebook.

Li Ziyang came out stretching his waist and was taken aback when he saw his relaxed and cheerful appearance, then turned to look at Ling with question marks all over his face.

Li Ziyang asked Zhiling in a low voice: "Did he go crazy after being stimulated?"

Zhiling shook his head: "No. But you will be driven crazy."

"why?"

"Because we're together."

Li Ziyang petrified on the spot.

Zhiling continued: "Yes, I, Younan, we are locked up, and we can't be separated."

When Li Ziyang heard it, he jumped up to the ceiling: "Zhiling! You must be careful! He is a man! I can't give birth to you!"

You Nan said: "No, no? Have we cut off your sons and grandchildren? You don't engage in homosexuality and you don't see you have a baby at this age? Also, I'm still a boy, not a man .”

Li Ziyang was shocked, mixed with shame and indignation, turned around and slammed the door with a "bang".

Younan Wuwu and Zhiling looked at each other, and Zhiling smiled: "Let's go out and have breakfast."

He hooked Younan's index finger with his index finger, and they went out together.

Through the gap in the door, Li Ziyang watched the two people hook their fingers and leave happily, completely abandoning himself, his eyes widened in disbelief.

He didn't know that Ling also had the implicit setting of being oblivious to sex!

However, he was determined to wait at home for Zhiling to come back to bring him brunch, but he waited until dark.

The two walked into the hallway talking and laughing, and saw Li Ziyang sitting slumped in the living room, with the tea in front of him.