Unreasonable

Ye sat on the cold floor in the bedroom, weeping origami stars.

"Youyi, why don't you hold my hand?"

"Youyi, do you not like me?"

Younan once asked him this way, mixed with his straight gaze and stubborn "You know?" just now, and played it back in his mind repeatedly.

Youyi began to tremble a little while breathing, and a faint pain crawled out from the depths of his chest, making his heart twist.

He thought, when did I put that small-mouthed chatter into memory.Every word, every laugh, every tear is clear and sharp.

It hurt his heart.

He seemed to be starting to regret it a little.

His gaze shifted and landed on a corner of the desk.

There lay a piece of star paper quietly, as if it had accidentally dropped it when packing up.

All alone, no one cares.

He picked it up lightly, rubbed the blue paper with his fingertips, and deftly turned the long paper over with his thumb. A line of neat handwriting suddenly hit his eyes, piercing the softest part of his heart like a sharp knife, making his pupils twitch. Shrink:

"For the thousand and sixth time, I hope you can hug me."

Youyi only felt that for a moment, it was like an invisible blunt knife slashed hard at the heart, and a wordless emotion permeated into the bone marrow.

His bones ached, and he was short of breath as if he couldn't breathe.

He looked at the ceiling and cursed "bastard".

He almost hastily opened a nearby star bottle, poured out some with trembling hands, and opened another paper star, the slightly immature font instantly choked his breath:

"I opened the picture book and told myself stories. This is one. I didn't fall asleep and he didn't come to me."

Youyi's throat was blocked, and tears overflowed from the corners of his eyes.

"I cried so loudly and he didn't look back."

He panted heavily and rubbed his heart, but the pain couldn't be relieved.

"I'm not being vexatious. I just want you to see me."

"Let the street gangsters beat me up hard. Will Youyi feel a little distressed?"

"I want to pick the most beautiful flower and give it to Youyi."

"This is my third day in the hospital. I'm still lying by the window alone."

tears fall heavily

For 19 years, I walked alone like a walking dead, struggling with myself and saying that the world is unfair.

When I finally raised my head from the ivory tower one day and realized that I owed him a lot, he had already taken away all the past, and shattered the hope that had never been answered.

I went around the world, not knowing which direction to say sorry.

If there is really a time shuttle in the world, he just wants to go back to the past and do two things.

One is to tighten the wishing hand on the day of the wedding, but to visit Younan at night.

Tell him a story and give him a hug.

If it really doesn't work, let him go forward ten years and say "I love you" to Younan.Before he got sick.

He wrote so many joys and sorrows, trying to get rid of the pain 19 years ago, but he had no intention of pushing another life into the abyss.

He was wrong once, and wrong again the next time.

From then on, he will bear two heavy burdens, go on forever, and struggle with regret and pain for the rest of his life.

This is the first time I begged the heavens.

I beg you to make the rest of your life safe and happy.

This is my father's atonement for escaping my 19 years of obligation.

He glanced back one last time, and the stars all over the room were gorgeous and beautiful under the setting sun, like a futile dream.

Like a, futile, dream.

The sun is setting little by little, and the dusk at the alley is longer than the top of the mountain.

The orange-red light and shadow are elongated, crawling in the sky, making it difficult to distinguish between the glow and the setting sun.

In the depths of the alley that has been abandoned for many years, no one cares about it, except for an unknown weed in the corner swaying in the breeze.

Younan has experienced such twilight countless times, and the figure that has been waiting for the darkness to fall for 14 years coincides with this moment, as if he has returned to his childhood, sitting alone on the top of an empty mountain, waiting for an unexpected person to come.

The orange light faded little by little, and the night slowly fell.

The part where the sky meets the old buildings is a milky white dyed with a little orange, and it gradually changes to a light blue that is a little darker.

The dark blue clouds, like cotton stretched horizontally, are uneven in size, floating up and down in the sky, drifting away to the east, and the clouds coming from behind are getting darker, and the sky is getting darker.

until it was pitch black.

The evening breeze is cool, rustling the invisible weeds in the corner of the wall in the quiet alley.

The night is a torment longer than dusk, and the ignorance of the eyes gives birth to the fear in the bottom of the heart, making people have to huddle in the corner, hoping for the light of day.

Difficult.

The time that doesn't know the taste crawls away dully, cool, cold, icy cold, silent, silent, silent, and then suddenly a little bit of light comes from the sky.

The twilight slowly magnifies and magnifies, and at the moment when dawn is about to break, the sound of footsteps echoes abruptly in the deep alley from far to near.

finally--

It was light.

You Nan raised his head and saw the man walking towards him in a hurry - white down jacket, straight back, beautiful shoulders, delicate lips, clean eyes...

Ling.

He was embraced by someone, turned his head, and saw the morning light jumping on the man's shoulder.

"Zhiling, do you know?"

Zhi Ling was silent and hugged him even tighter.

Younan said to himself: "Look, Zhiling, this Yucheng seems to be divided into two circles. One circle is open and bright, and the other circle is dark and vast... One circle ran concisely and smiled Xia Jiu, and the other circle crawled Xiaoxiao crying There is South."

Zhiling moved, and finally said, "What about me?"

Younan said: "You are the light that Younan desperately pulled over."

Zhiling finally let go of Younan, curled up his index finger, and stroked the tears with his knuckles.

"Younan, I'm here to pick you up down the mountain."

Younan was stunned.

"Just let my Younan grow up again from the age of four, okay?"

Younan laughed suddenly, and then couldn't help laughing out loud.

"Zhiling. In fact, I'm not really desperate or can't get over it. I'm a person who doesn't have deep obsessions, and I won't get stuck in any emotions and can't get out. I always think that I can't be in good times. , allowing himself to be narrowed by the anguish of past misfortunes."

"But the moment I knew the truth, I still felt overwhelmingly sad. I was sad because I was alone at such an ignorant and fragile age with a thin body and reconciled with the boundless darkness and loneliness. I love me, 18 years, Not loved."

"But it's just a small part of sadness. Because I know, I still have wind and snow, clouds and moon, and lingering clouds."

"So I'm sitting at the entrance of the alley, not just looking at my shadow and feeling sorry for myself, but just—"

"Waiting for you."

(End of the article)