but you never loved me

If you ask Yan Zimu how he feels when he thinks of Ning Yi, there is only one word "pain".It hurts so much that even if the person touches him, it will cause physical pain.But from the beginning until now, he has been numb from the pain.He thought that now, he could feel nothing when he saw that person.

But when Ning An said that Ning Yi had depression, he wondered that his heart still hurt.But now he knew that this kind of pain was nothing at all.When he heard that Ning Yi had entered the emergency room because of cutting his wrist.His heart began to shatter from the very center, and the severe pain almost made him suffocate.

But Ning An on the opposite side lowered his head and couldn't see his pain, and he was still talking to himself: "The doctor said that if it was later, he would not be able to be rescued. Even if TSXDZ recovers later, his left hand will no longer be able to hold heavy weights." The doctor told my brother to take good care of it and insist on going to the hospital for rehabilitation. But my brother... not only does he not pay attention, he often hurts himself."

Then he raised his red eyes and said, "Brother Yan, you haven't seen his arm, have you? You don't know, there is hardly any complete skin there. His left hand has no place to cut, so he changed his right hand..."

Yan Zimu's face gradually turned pale, and he interrupted him abruptly: "Don't tell me... where is he now?" Ning An replied: "He has been living in the apartment you used to live in for these few years. He only moved into the apartment after he came back. Maybe he was afraid of what you might see, because that's where he committed suicide after all."

"Is he there now?" Yan Zimu didn't want to hear any more, so he interrupted him directly.Ning An's pale face was a little surprised at this time, and he nodded blankly.

As soon as he finished speaking, Yan Zimu got up from his chair.He got up quickly and said anxiously, "Brother Yan, wait for me."

Walking through the dark corridor, even though he couldn't see anything, Yan Zimu felt inexplicably familiar, after all, he had lived here for a long time.

When Ning An opened the door, there was a soaring smell of wine and a faint fishy-sweet smell from the dark room.Yan Zimu suddenly felt extremely uneasy.

He searched for the memories of the past and pressed the switch on the wall.The moment the light came on, it hurt my eyes a little.He walked into the house without stopping for a moment.

After a quick glance, he found that everything in this room was exactly the same as when he left three years ago.Turn around the wine cabinet in front of the door, and a few steps ahead is the sofa in the living room.

There were wine bottles all over the floor, all piled up beside the sofa.There was a fruit knife on the ground, and there was scarlet liquid on the sharp blade, which looked extraordinarily gorgeous under the cold light of the knife.

Yan Zimu's eyes slowly lifted up, the bright red blood fell on the beige sofa, gradually blurred, pieces like flowers blooming in the dark night, Ning Yi's pale hands were hanging in it, There is a strange and decadent beauty.It's just that the wound was extremely ferocious, the flesh and blood were cut open by the sharp blade, and the red and tender flesh and blood inside turned outwards, which made people look terrified.

But the owner of this hand didn't seem to feel anything.He lay there quietly, without a trace of pain on his face.If it weren't for the heaving of his chest, people would suspect that he was already a corpse.

Yan Zimu's heart stopped for a moment, and then he quickly pressed down on his bleeding wound.Ning Yi slowly opened his eyes, and when he saw it was him, a look of surprise flashed in his eyes for an instant, and then gradually dimmed for a while.

Yan Zimuxue's face was pale, and he yelled at him: "Don't move!" Ning Yi's face flashed a moment of confusion, and he stretched out his right hand to touch Yan Zimu's face awkwardly, feeling the warmth from his fingertips. When it was hot to the touch, he asked uncertainly, "Zi Mu?"

Yan Zimu pressed his wound firmly with one hand, and pushed him back onto the sofa with the other.When he yelled at him, his voice was hoarse like a beast: "I told you not to move the fuck, can't you hear me?"

Then he turned his head and said to Ning An who was still in a daze, "Why are you standing there? Go get me the first aid kit and call 120." Only then did Ning An come to his senses and quickly ran into the room.

Ning Yi didn't seem to hear what he was saying at all, but just kept watching him, his eyes slowly filled with light, and there was happiness in the corners of his brows and eyes.

He said with a smile: "Is it really you? Do you know that I really miss you." The moment he heard his words, the corners of Yan Zimu's eyes turned red.He really wanted to kill this bastard right now.

He looked up and was about to scold him, when he saw Ning Yi slowly collapsed on the sofa with a smile on his face.Yan Zimu's heart fell into the abyss in an instant. He wanted to reach out to help him, but he couldn't do so, and just watched him faint.

The last thing Ning Yi saw with his eyes closed was the flustered expression on Yan Zimu's face.He thought it was worth dying just for this.

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Outside the emergency room of City A Hospital, Ning An saw Yan Zimu's pale face, and comforted him, "Brother Yan, you don't have to worry too much. Nothing will happen. That time was much more serious than this time." His words As soon as it fell, Yan Zimu's face became even more ugly, and he realized that he had said the wrong thing, so he quickly shut up.

But the result was indeed as he said, Ning Yi's life was not in danger, but his left hand was completely useless.The doctor said that I might not even be able to use pens and chopsticks in the future.Hearing this sentence, Ning An's eyes turned red again.

Yan Zimu didn't respond, he turned around and went straight into the ward.When he saw the thin and disfigured person on the hospital bed, he suddenly felt a little strange.

But is it really strange?No, as long as he sees this person, his heart still aches habitually.But how did Ning Yi become like this?How could that high-spirited, arrogant, and aloof Ning Yi be willing to let herself become so embarrassed.He stretched out his hand to touch the faint eye lines under the man's eyes, feeling desolate in his heart.

He lifted the quilt, revealing Ning Yi's hand.He remembered Ning An's words, he said 'Ning Yi doesn't have a good place in his hands'.He gently pushed up his sleeve, and there was a white bandage around his wrist, with some blood stains faintly soaked.But that's probably the least intimidating thing he's got on his hands.

The upper part is full of dense scars, stacked together one after another, with deep and shallow colors.Some are deep, and you can tell at a glance that they are left over from years.However, these scars cannot be formed all at once.

Yan Zimu caressed that scar, and he felt a tingling sensation in his arm, as if those scars had been transferred to him.

He closed his eyes, a drop of crystal clear liquid slipped from the corner of his eyes and landed on Ning Yi's wound.Until this moment, Yan Zimu could no longer escape, nor did he want to refuse to admit that he still loved Ning Yi.