dear psychiatrist

When Zhuo Qihua calmed down, she began to worry about the safety of Zhao Xiaoqi and Tao Yaoyao.Taking out the mobile phone in his pocket, flipping through the address book, he was shocked to find that he did not have Tao Yaoyao's mobile phone number.

It turned out that the throbbing towards Tao Yaoyao was just a self-righteous illusion.After all, the relationship with Tao Yaoyao is that they don't even have the other party's phone number... Ordinary friends.

In all fairness, in front of Tao Yaoyao, Zhuo Qihua chose to deliberately conceal the existence of Zhao Xiaoqi, which is very despicable.What can she do?More than once, she wanted to tell Tao Yaoyao that she had a girlfriend who had treated her kindly since childhood.

Every time the words came to his lips, they were swallowed abruptly.But this time, what Zhuo Qihua swallowed was no longer an unspoken truth, but a bitter fruit after the truth came out.

Don't say it's just a bitter fruit, even if it's a deadly poison/drug, Zhuo Qihua has no right to refuse it.

Presumably, Tao Yaoyao won't want to see herself in the future, right?Zhuo Qihua sighed deeply, trying not to think of Tao Yaoyao.But the astonishment when I met Tao Yaoyao for the first time is still fresh in my memory.

Zhuo Qihua clearly remembered that day, Tao Yaoyao stood under a ginkgo tree, talking on the phone with her shoulders in her arms.What's interesting is that Zhuo Qihua didn't realize until later that the content of Tao Yaoyao's chat was related to him.

For some reason, Zhuo Qihua couldn't restrain the sense of loss in his heart when he learned that the short-lived sense of happiness he had experienced in Tao Yaoyao had completely disappeared, and he still felt that it was a pity to miss it.

But at this moment, Zhuo Qihua didn't have much energy to think about Tao Yaoyao.After fumbling through the phone book twice, she found Zhao Xiaoqi's name and dialed the number.But Zhao Xiaoqi didn't pick up the phone until the phone timed out and hung up.

Zhao Xiaoqi did not blacklist herself, nor did she choose to hang up the phone directly. Does this mean that there is still room for change between the two?

After tidying up his emotions, Zhuo Qihua rushed upstairs, took two spare light tubes, and ran out of the house in a hurry.

Standing on the side of the empty road, Zhuo Qihua anxiously waited for an empty taxi.

With a little impatience, Zhuo Qihua raised his arm and looked at the time on his watch, it was already two o'clock in the morning.In such a late night, someone is destined to suffer from insomnia.

Some people say that love is a game, the more serious it is, the easier it is to lose.And people will always convince themselves that it is good to play in the colorful world, but who can really treat feelings as a game?Ideal is full, the reality is very skinny.In such a real and cruel reality, who can stand on the commanding heights of feelings and be a general who can always win?

The taxi driver is an optimistic middle-aged man. He is full of pride along the way, telling about his up-and-coming son.The driver said that he had suffered for most of his life. Although his family was poor, the moment he learned that his son was admitted to university, he felt that the hardships he had suffered in the past were not hardships.

So... what is happiness?For Zhuo Qihua, the taxi driver at this moment is happy, he is almost lying in a honeypot.

The driver was still babbling about his family's short stories, and a song "Story" by Man Wenjun came from the radio in the car, which interrupted the driver's words.

Zhuo Qihua choked up and asked the driver to turn up the volume of the radio broadcast.Ever since, the two strangers in the car listened to the whole song quietly.

"

Some stories are still moving after listening to them.

As if I am inside, always twists and turns,

The old roads are deserted, and people want to turn back.

Some stories still shed tears when told,

Regret hides in my heart and hurts, drifting with the wind,

Love turns into wine, every drop is loneliness.

Loved deeply in the past but separated,

There are always hardships, the pain that can be said is not pain,

Now that fate has passed away, where will the nostalgia go,

What else can I do for you.

"

Until the end of the music, Zhuo Qihua couldn't relax for a long time.Almost subconsciously, he took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, lit one for himself, and then turned the pack to the direction of the driver and asked, "Do you smoke?"

The driver didn't show the slightest surprise at Zhuo Qihua's behavior of a woman smoking. It seemed to be commonplace and not surprising.Glancing at the cigarette case, he tilted his mouth and said, "Hey...a pack of Zhongnanhai costs 20 yuan."

Seeing that Zhuo Qihua didn't speak, the driver took out his usual cigarette from his pocket, waved it in front of Zhuo Qihua's eyes, and sighed deeply again: "It's really annoying to compare people to others." , your pack of Zhongnanhai is worth the money of my five packs of peonies. Hey, man, it’s just cheap! I’m not satisfied!"

Although he knew what the driver said, he didn't say it to himself.But Zhuo Qihua's heart still tightened subconsciously, just because of that sentence, "Human, I'm a bitch!"Not satisfied! '.

Perhaps, this is human nature, never knowing how to be satisfied.When you are envious of others, others are also envious of you!The world is unpredictable, no one can tell.

When getting out of the car, Zhuo Qihua left the remaining half pack of cigarettes with the driver.Seeing the driver cheerfully putting half a pack of cigarettes into his pocket like a treasure, Zhuo Qihua finally had a smile on his face—it turns out that happiness is not far away.

Although he knew that Zhao Xiaoqi would not open the door, Zhuo Qihua still stubbornly straightened his back and knocked on the door of Zhao Xiaoqi's house.

"Xiaoqi, can you open the door?"

There was no response from Zhao Xiaoqi from inside the house, Zhuo Qihua didn't want to leave, but just stood at the door stupidly, knocking on the door non-stop.

"What's the noise at night?! You don't let people sleep!" Finally, someone got tired of Zhuo Qihua's endless knocking on the door, and the door next door was opened by a woman who was over fifty years old. Seeing that she was wearing pajamas, she almost yelled at Zhuo Qihua.

"I'm sorry." Zhuo Qihua said in a low voice, he stopped knocking on the door, but leaned against the wall and squatted down.

The woman cursed a few more times, and then slammed the door with a 'bang' to show her dissatisfaction.

It didn't take long for the voice-activated lights to dim, and the moment the darkness struck, the world also became quiet.Finally, I heard the small movements coming from the house, and a familiar voice was crying like tearing on the other side of the door.

After an unknown amount of time, the door was finally opened by Zhao Xiaoqi.Hearing her hoarse tone, she said plainly: "Qihua, come in, it's cold outside."

With a sore nose, Zhuo Qihua's eyes became moist.Until this time... Zhao Xiaoqi was still thinking about herself.

A few half-burned candles were lit in the house, and wax tears fell from time to time.Zhuo Qihua felt guilty for a while, and hurriedly replaced the broken light bulb with the spare light tube he brought from home.

Until the room was brightened again, Zhuo Qihua finally saw clearly Zhao Xiaoqi's face soaked in tears.It was Zhao Xiaoqi in front of her who accompanied her through the loneliest teenage years and witnessed all her joys and sorrows.Now it is because of his own fault that tears are streaming down his face.

"Thank you." After blowing out the candle, Zhao Xiaoqi turned her head and said politely to Zhuo Qihua.

Before Zhuo Qihua could say anything, Zhao Xiaoqi spoke again: "I have to go to work tomorrow morning, go to bed early. If you don't want to go home, you can stay with me."

At this moment, Zhao Xiaoqi must be angry in her heart, but she still feels sorry for her running back and forth in this cold winter.From the perspective of empathy, Zhuo Qihua thought that he could not do what Zhao Xiaoqi did.

Perhaps, when you love so much that you are selfless, you forget to consider your own feelings, and all you pretend to be satisfied with is the other party.

……

……

The sleet outside the window had already stopped.It seems that a few hours ago, the unexpected snowy night was just a mirage that was short-lived.And the childlike agreement with Tao Yaoyao to build a snowman is just a blank check after all.

After a simple wash, the two lay on a double bed, separated by a piece of sea.

"Qihua, are you asleep?"

"No."

After a while of silence, Zhao Xiaoqi said again: "Aren't you going to sleep?"

"I'll sleep when you fall asleep." Zhuo Qihua looked at the ceiling, although he was sleepy, he couldn't fall asleep.

"Qihua, I can't sleep." Zhao Xiaoqi's soft voice came over, still reassuring as before.

Zhuo Qihua's voice became a little softer: "If you can't sleep, count the sheep, one sheep, two sheep, three sheep."

"Then why don't you count sheep?"

"I like counting pigs, one pig, two pigs, three pigs."

According to the past, Zhao Xiaoqi would definitely laugh out loud because of Zhuo Qihua's boring joke.But today Zhao Xiaoqi didn't laugh out loud.

"My happiness lies in the ordinary. Someone can light a lamp for me and cook a table of hot dishes. My happiness is firewood, rice, oil, salt, and a gust of wind on an isolated island. But I can't swim, how can I reach that isolated island " Zhao Xiaoqi said in a low voice, the intermittent description almost made Zhuo Qihua think it was just a mumbling before falling into a dream.

At that moment, the softness in Zhuo Qihua's heart was touched.I really want to take this woman by my side to swim to the isolated island of her dreams.Even if you are exhausted, you have to grit your teeth and let her take a look at the ordinary happiness.