The sprayer turned black on me

As early as the early childhood when she was just conscious and thinking, Song Yu felt that she had a problem.

In a small city, they don’t pay much attention to going to hobby classes. The children eat, drink, play and play every day, and they always talk about whether the cartoon just broadcast is good or not, and whether they like the snacks and toys in the canteen.

Only Song Yu is a special case. He is either practicing the piano or on the way to practice the piano every day.

Song Yu wanted to play with the children, so she played the violin to please them.

Not long after I started learning, the playing was not good, and the children said it sounded bad, like sawing wood; there was a naughty boy who secretly cut off the strings of the violin with large scissors, causing Song Yu to cry a lot.

Fortunately, the boy's parents were very open-minded. After knowing this, they specially pressured the boy to come to apologize. The parents also changed Song Yu's strings to new ones.

Things didn't get serious, but Song Yu understood a truth, that is, he had a problem.

The first problem is that he doesn't fit in.

In primary and middle school, children become older children, and they begin to have gender awareness and gradually understand the difference between beauty and ugliness.

Possessing excellent appearance, Song Yu, who was raised by her parents as a future star since she was a child, has already been wildly sought after by people around her during this period.

It's just that Song Yu has been constrained by the educational policy of "you want to be a big star in the future, you are different from others".In other words, his parents asked him to have "idol consciousness" since he was a child.

This caused Song Yu to be a very contradictory child since he was a child: while wanting to make more friends and have more common language with his peers, at the same time, he was thinking about what his parents said, being cautious in words and deeds, and restraining the expression of true thoughts.

Over time, Song Yu became hot outside and cold inside.The hot side is for external business and to deal with the enthusiasm and love of followers around him; the cold side is an introverted character, who hides his true thoughts under the hypocritical skin all day long, fearful and uneasy, and does not know how to express them.

During this period, Song Yu knew his second problem: he had a weird personality, and he was duplicity.

In high school, he was forced by his parents to go north to study, and met Sun Jiejun in the initial tutoring institution.

Sun Jiejun is best at putting long lines and catching big fish.Before this guy revealed his true colors, Song Yu had indeed lived a comfortable life for more than half a year, but less than two semesters, under the "care" of Sun Jiejun.

At the end of the first semester of high school, Song Yu gave Sun Jiejun the simple arrangement of "Runaway", not only as a gift for the end of the school year, but also...

"It's also secretly showing his heart to him."

After Song Yu finished speaking, he took a deep breath.

He has never made such a detailed confession to anyone—not even Er Niu, who he has known the longest and is the most trusted.

But in front of Cheng Qiwen, he explained very clearly.He wished he could tell the man in front of him in detail about all his life experiences and the details that affected the formation of his character.

"I have never liked anyone since I was a child, neither girls nor boys. When I was young, I thought about many possibilities. I even thought that I was asexual, so I would never be moved by others in my life.

"When I met Sun Jiejun, I started to have a hazy feeling. But because I was young and naive at the time, I didn't think it was liking—and I didn't think I was gay."

Song Yu swallowed and took a breath.

It took him too much courage to tell others about the past that he didn't want to be mentioned, and he had to use a lot of energy to even speak.

"Maybe it's because I don't want to admit that I liked a bastard surnamed Sun, or maybe it's because I just don't understand. Anyway... Anyway, I don't admit it, I never admit it.

"Because I didn't want to admit it, I kept avoiding, avoiding, and avoiding again."

Cheng Qiwen had already sat down again, calmed down, and listened to Song Yu's speech quietly.

After hearing this all the way, Cheng Qiwen spoke again and asked, "Why are you telling me these things?"

"Because... because I discovered my third problem at that time: I am not sexually correct, and I cannot fall in love normally."

After Song Yu finished adding, she fell back and sank into the sofa.

"Comprehensive of my three problems, my character has become what it is now: I am in front of me and behind me, with a negative and evasive personality. When encountering things, I always want to dig a hole to hide—or die. .

"I want to quit the circle, I want to find a place deep in the mountains and old forests to live in seclusion, I want to hide to the ends of the earth, so that no one can find me.

"Because it doesn't work, I fell in love with games and e-sports."

Withdrawing her erratic gaze and looking towards the opposite side, Song Yu met Cheng Qiwen's eyes directly.After a jolt, he realized that Cheng Qiwen had been staring at him.

"The reason why I say this is to ask you: what do you like about me?

"You...what do you think I deserve to be loved?"

During Song Yu's confidant, Cheng Qiwen had calmed down very well, regained his usual gentle aura and posture, and his tone was calm.

"Before I answer, I want to correct you: Misfits and duplicity are not 'problems'.

"There are a lot of people who don't fit in and are good at disguising in this world. They are just a part of normal people, one of the diversity of human beings."

Cheng Qiwen kept his eyes on Song Yu all the time.

The burning and powerful eyes seemed to be under invisible oppression, so that Song Yu didn't dare to move away.

"I have all your 'problems', but I don't think it's a big deal.

"I even have sexual orientation, but I don't use words like 'improper' to modify it. Because for me, it is a good thing to have someone I like, no matter whether the other party is a man or a woman, I will Do your best to like and love.”

Hearing this, Song Yu felt suffocated, and couldn't tell if he was nervous or looking forward to it.

"Song Yu, I like you. It's the same as my determination to confess to you in the room that day. I like you, I like you very much.

"It is because of the 'calmness' during this period that I have further confirmed my feelings. I dare say that the love I say now is stronger than the love I said last time; it is a hundred times stronger and a thousand times stronger. , Ten thousand times."

Heart thump, it is the sound of heart.It was only a little short, and Song Yu was about to let go.

"But……"

Resisting his heartbeat and impulse, Song Yu forcibly turned his face away, preventing Cheng Qiwen from seeing his cheeks that continued to heat up and become red.

"You didn't answer my question just now, what do you like about me?

"If you can't answer, it means that you are just on a whim. You can't figure out why you like me, so why should I believe you?"

"Ha." Cheng Qiwen laughed and stood up.

Fortunately, it wasn't a sneer, but a confident smile with a sure chance of victory.Song Yu even saw Cheng Qiwen's slightly raised cheekbones.

"It's not that I don't answer, I'm afraid that I like you too much, and I can't justify it overnight."

"..." Song Yu didn't want to spoil the atmosphere, but she couldn't help but pouted silently, "Cheat."

"It's really not a lie."

Cheng Qiwen made a big stride, walked around the coffee table and came to Song Yu's side, squatted down on one knee, like a knight treating a princess, and raised his head slightly to talk to Song Yu.

"I have to say something, I like your toughness." Cheng Qiwen chuckled, "Toughness, toughness."

Song Yu pouted: "I'm such a negative person, you think I'm resilient? You're not lying, it's really outrageous."

"Why don't you have resilience?"

Cheng Qiwen suddenly had a serious face.

"I want to emphasize: my feelings for you are definitely not on a whim. I don't engage in the routine of falling in love at first sight and falling in love instantly, that's too old-fashioned.

"Through the days and nights I spend with you, countless details and moments, I finally discovered your tenacity, and finally fell in love with you."

Cheng Qiwen's first impression of Song Yu can be said to be very, very bad.Because this person is the "idol" he despises the most.

Even if he took over the company later and often intervened in Song Yu's affairs, it was only business-like and with a humanistic attitude.

When he found out that Song Yu was the anchor who was accidentally injured by him in the game, although he felt guilty, he also knew clearly that he would still rant again, and he would still block the little anchor in the game in front of the house and beat him up.

He dumped the blame on the planning team at the time.Getting rid of the planning team was the biggest compensation he could make for Song Yu.

Later, when he found out that Song Yu was pretending to be a vegetable chicken and deliberately put on a vest to tease him, he was shocked and also felt a little angry—the anger after realizing that he was being teased.

He took the opportunity to let Song Yu move in with him, and made a lot of excuses: cost-saving, convenient work...all fake.

There is only one real reason: he wants to take off Song Yu's vest and recover the debt he was fooled by.

"Obviously I lived with you with such a mood, but in the following days, because of various incidents, I fell step by step."

When Song Yu invited him to play games for the first time, he was really happy.

When Song Yu fulfilled his promise, gave up his position as an exporter, and became a full-time nurse for him, he felt at ease.

Later, my mind became full of Song Yu, Song Yu, Song Yu.

Song Yu has a stomach problem and doesn't eat, Song Yu practiced singing until his voice became hoarse, and Song Yu's leg pressure was so painful that he felt uncomfortable just by peeking at it.

Then Cheng Qiwen discovered that he became more and more double-standard.Encountering difficulties with other artists at work, he was not as patient and careful as he was with Song Yu; he wanted to "caring about humanity" and "doing business as usual" with other artists, but only after trying did he realize——

It is "caring" for Song Yu, and "official" for others.

He also vaguely noticed: this is tempting.

"My brother told me that this feeling is love. So I finally woke up: I paid attention to you and admired you a long time ago.

"Because you are like me, wearing a hypocritical skin and doing things you don't like. But the difference between you and me is that you are tougher than me."

You are stronger than me.

"The moment I sorted out all my emotions, I knew that I fell in love with you, I-- fell in love with you."

Song Yu seemed to understand, but tilted his head: "Huh?

"You said just now that we are the same, we...how exactly are we the same?"

"Same." Cheng Qiwen took Song Yu's hand.

Song Yu was in a daze, afraid that Cheng Qiwen would take out the ring and propose to him in the next second.

"I am learning to be harsh and indifferent in a high-pressure environment, and I am learning to put away my smile and become a 'successor' who can't show emotions and anger, but you, you are pretending to be cheerful and open your heart under persecution.

"I find it harder to pretend to be cheerful than to pretend to be cold."

This is Song Yu's "resilience".

"Pfft—" Song Yu laughed again.

He felt himself becoming lighter, as if floating on a cloud, and he was in such a good mood that he couldn't find himself.

"You really know how to talk, but you just turned hypocrisy into resilience."

"Maybe it's on the word love, so I feel cute when I see my lover's actions."

Cheng Qiwen clenched Song Yu's arm tightly, firmly pinching Song Yu's palm.He looked solemn, and the posture of squatting on one knee had changed to kneeling on one knee.

"I've already answered your question clearly, so shouldn't you accept my confession?"

The author has something to say: Ling Ling Ling ~ ~

I want to save my favorites and enter V ten thousand updates tomorrow!So release the update early today hahaha

The manuscripts are all saved, and it is embarrassing to be reminded that the actual collection is not enough. Give me some collections, treasure~ Do you want to click the collections? (Huh) Oh!