please love me

What kind of crime do you suffer?Did you know that your creditor chased me home and forced my mother to death?You don't know anything fucking!You fucking only know whoring and gambling!When you took the money from selling your son to whoring women, my mother was in tears and was being chased for debts!What the hell are you entitled to be forgiven by me now?Do you think that you can kidnap me with morality if you kneel down and beg me under the eyes of the public?Do you think so?ah?Do you think I'm a fool?Someone sold me, and I happily counted the money for others, and then forgave him and said it was all right.I'm not fucking retarded. "

After all this was said, I felt more relaxed than ever.All the stones rolled off me, and I asked all the questions that had tormented me for so many years.

In so many years, except for the days with Luo Sheng, this is the first time I feel so relaxed.

But I didn't expect what happened next to completely soften my heart.He suddenly picked up the wooden stick he brought with him and broke his hand. I froze in place, and he still begged for my forgiveness.

Did he really repent?

But what's the use?My mother is dead, and I have become like this.

Yup……

It's all like this, what's the use of hating him?

Words kept coming to my mind, making me dizzy.

At that moment, everything around me seemed to be far away from me, and I could only vaguely hear the surrounding sounds, but the sounds became farther and farther away.

When I regained my senses, Luo Sheng was sitting beside me, it was already dark, and there was no one around, just the two of us.

"How did you get out?"

"I see you haven't come back."

"Let's go back."

"Aren't you going to ask that person?"

I asked Luo Sheng without any emotion: "Where is that person?"

"I let him go. I presumptuously told him that it would be best if he never appeared in front of you."

That's fine, so be it.

Just let everything be as it is.

"Jia Yi." Luo Sheng called my name softly, as if it brought me back to my school days, I looked at him numbly, he just looked into my eyes and said: "I don't know if this is the right time to say these things words, but I still want to talk."

"We have been going around for so many years, and we finally came together. We are very lucky, aren't we? We never saw each other again. Although we were separated for a few years, we finally met again. I I'm stupid, I don't know how to explain this subtle thing, I think you should understand what I mean."

"I, Luo Sheng, have never been that interested in anything since I was a child, but I just took one look at you and I fell in love with you anyway. What you said at the third uncle's house that day, I can take it for granted. You didn't say it. I believe that what you said was just some angry words, shall we start over again? This time you don't want to disappear for a few years for no reason, okay? "

I look at him and he looks at me.I saw stars shining in his eyes, but I was afraid that the stars in his eyes would disappear because of me one day in the future.

I wanted to be with him in my heart, but as time went by, I disliked my body more and more. I was afraid that my body was too dirty and would pollute him.

I am afraid……

But I worked hard to collect evidence, didn't I also want to be with him?I thought so well before, as long as I win the lawsuit, I will be free, and with freedom, I can be with him.

But I forgot how dirty my body is.

Dirty to the bone.

Suddenly, what Luo Sheng said after I hugged Jiang Shu back then came to my mind. He said that I was so dirty when I hugged someone else.

At that time, he was very possessive of me. He didn't like my contact with others. Once there was contact, he would feel angry.Then how could he accept me who has been raped by a pervert for more than ten years?

I'm really dirty.

But he stood in front of me and asked me if we could be together like before.How could I refuse?

I asked him, "If one day I told you that I was raped, would you think I was dirty?"

He froze, but quickly replied: "...No. I have always loved you."

Really……

Luo Sheng will always love me...

What a beautiful word...

We're okay, like before, but it's just a relationship.I don't treat him as well as I did when I was in love before. I prefer the way that after many years of marriage, the wife has no feelings for her husband and is purely for life.

But I still love him, but I can't get back to the me I was back then. I wasn't crippled back then, and my body wasn't as weak as it is now.

Back then, I had fantasies about everything.

Now I'm like a piece of shit, I can't draw good manga anymore.I face the sun every day, but I am in the dark all the time.

Luo Jidong still exists in my life. Although he didn't monitor me like before, he would call me back every now and then.

What else can you do if you call me back?

I still have no room for struggle with Luo Jidong, he has been keeping fit and his physique is much better than mine.Under his torture for so many years, my body is completely broken, and my resistance is like an ant, and I will only get more terrible and perverted torture.

I went out every now and then, and when I came back, I looked weak and uncomfortable, so Luo Sheng began to ask me what I was doing, and every time I evaded it with very reasonable and well-founded reasons.

Gradually he doesn't care about these things of mine, but he still asks me to take care of my body, I think I am taking care of it.

Luo Sheng also often buys me some nourishing food for my body. Every day, he cooks a table of nourishing food for my body. Most of them are my favorite food. He rarely gives himself food.

I found out later that I don't like what he likes to eat, and sometimes I even have allergies. For example, mango and lobster, which he likes most, I will be severely allergic to.

I suddenly recalled that since he gave me mango juice for the first time and knew that I would be allergic to mangoes, he never ate mangoes in front of me again.

Not once.

Every time I see him busy in the kitchen, foolishly drying my hair, I always feel that I am not good enough for him.

He is still as good to me as ever.

But I have always adhered to the principle of not giving to him.

I want to make a change for him, but I really can't.

Chapter 51

◎One night as soon as I fell asleep, I received a call from Chen Qi.There was a lot of trouble at Chen Qi's side, but I heard a sentence clearly - Jiang Shu and Jiang Ding

One night, as soon as I fell asleep, I received a call from Chen Qi.There was a lot of trouble at Chen Qi's side, but I heard a sentence clearly-Jiang Shu and Jiang Yan broke up, and Jiang Shu is now getting drunk in the bar.

I hurriedly asked the location of the bar and hurried over.

When I arrived at the bar, I saw Jiang Shu holding the wine bottle and crying loudly: "He wants to break up with me! He wants to leave, can I tie him up by my side all the time? What kind of tie? I can't be a big man. Daojia said on his neck, if he breaks up with me, I will die for him today, right? I was photographed... What will he do! I must choose to respect his choice. I can afford to wait, I will wait for my Jiang Yan to come back! I don't believe that Jiang Mo's heart is made of iron, I don't believe that Jiang Mo can let me go like that...my Jiang Mo is so good..."

Looking at Jiang Shu in such distress and pain, my heart seemed to be pulled hard. Jiang Shu also had such painful times.

I have met Jiang Yan several times, and checked his information on the Internet. I didn't do it deliberately, but I just saw a hot search about him by chance.

Those comments that hacked him are indeed groundless, it's fine if it's unrealistic, there is no evidence, but how easy it is for this network to scold a person now.

People raised their keyboards, attacked one after another, and vented all their dissatisfaction. They hid behind their mobile phones and computers, and stabbed a person with a knife, tearing their nerves.

If you drive people crazy, you can see it as a joke, if you drive people to death, you shirk all your responsibilities.

This is very realistic. You don't know who is who through the screen, and you can do whatever you want as long as you don't touch the law.

Chen Qi and I looked at each other, picked up the wine beside Jiang Shu and drank it with Jiang Shu.But I can't drink very much, and I hate the smell of alcohol, so I didn't drink a few sips, and Chen Qi was drinking with Jiang Shu.

Jiang Shu's family brews wine, so he can hold a lot of alcohol. I don't know how much I can drink today.

Chen Qi started to react after drinking a few bottles of wine. He vomited twice, so I had no choice but to persuade the two of them not to drink. I found Jiang Yun's phone number from Chen Qi and asked Jiang Yun to come over and look at the two of them.

Jiang Yun was very fast, and came within half an hour. Looking at Jiang Shu, who was delirious from drinking, he was very angry.When he walked up, he dragged Jiang Shu to go back. I hurriedly pulled him to tell Jiang Yun not to be so impulsive.

Jiang Yun slapped Jiang Shu on the back and cursed: "Drink like this! If your grandfather is here, I will break your leg!"

At this time my cell phone rang, it was Luo Sheng calling, I answered it.

"Hello? Jia Yi, where have you been?"

"I'm at the bar."

"What are you doing at the bar?"

I found a place where no one was around, which is actually a toilet. In entertainment places like bars, there seems to be no other place except for the quieter toilets. "Jiang Shu and Jiang Mo broke up. If he gets drunk, Chen Qi and I will come to accompany him."

"They have such a good relationship, why did they suddenly break up?"

"Maybe Jiang Yan didn't want Jiang Shu to be involved.