please love me

Where is man now? "

I walked to a large pile of daisies and said to myself: "Daisies will keep blooming, but the person who loves daisies has been given up by me in the season when it blooms most luxuriantly." As I spoke, a few tears Landed on the daisy, "never coming back..."

He also said he would hate me forever and never forgive me.

Yeah, I can't even forgive myself.

If I had chosen to believe in him and help him back then, he would not have come to that point.

Everything is due to my distrust.

At the end of the day, I can't love enough.

I have been confessing all these years and I have never been able to forgive myself.I tossed and turned countless nights, unable to sleep.I wanted to dream about him, but he never came even once in my dreams.

Maybe he hates me so much that he doesn't want to see me even in his dreams.

I confess day and night, and I can't sleep day and night.

After he was put in prison, I watched his video, which recorded what Luo Jidong did to him, and all the processes.His heart-piercing cries and undignified begging for mercy were constantly heard in the video, but Luo Jidong's torture never stopped.

I turned off my phone several times and I couldn't watch it anymore.

I dare not think that the loving third uncle would be so perverted and vicious.I can't even imagine how desperate he has been all these years and how disappointed he has been with me.

I sent Luo Jidong to prison with my own hands and made him pay for his actions.Also after that, I repented all the time, longing for Jia Yi's forgiveness.I dare not write to him, dare not know how miserable he is in prison.

After this incident happened, Chen Qi saw me hitting me once, but every time I didn't fight back, I didn't dare to fight back, and Jiang Shu's attitude towards me also changed drastically, his eyes were always full of disgust when he looked at me.

I really want Jia Yi's forgiveness.

Unfortunately, he is dead and I can't find him anymore.

On the way to the light, there is a person who will never be absent but has never been baptized by the light. That person is Jia Yi.

If you meet him, tell him I've always loved him.

I died at 95, lying in bed looking out the window at the daisies.

I know, he and I are going to meet.

I miss him so much, but I'm afraid to meet him again.

All the past came to mind, I wanted to say 'I love you' to him, but in the end, I couldn't even say 'forgive me'.

Perhaps in this relationship, both of us are still too naive to bear the great love and the most basic trust in each other.

But when we are truly mature, we are separated from each other, Yin and Yang are separated.

I hate that fate has arranged us like this, and I hate myself for not being able to change my fate.

Jia Yi, I wanted to ask you from the beginning to the end.

How much do you love me?How much do you hate me?

The dawn light hits my window, and I look up, tears running down my face.

I laughed.

I was wrong, can you love me again?

59. Silly is blessed

◎My name is Xu Gui. People who know me say that my name can make me either rich or noble, especially my cousin Jiang Shu, but I never think so.

……◎

My name is Xu Gui. People who know me say that my name can make me rich or noble, especially my cousin Jiang Shu, but I never think so.

I'm almost 34 this year, and I still don't have a partner.

I've made appointments before, but none of them liked me.The reason is very simple, no car, no money, only the country house at home, the rented house is only that big, and it looks ugly.

I usually wear ordinary clothes, and sometimes I am reluctant to replace the socks when they are torn. I just want to save more money so that I can marry a wife in the future.

I have been alone for too long, I hope I can have a home.

The days passed day by day, but I didn't meet anyone who was willing to marry me, but I picked up a young man with a problematic mind.

Originally, I didn't want to take him in, but he has mental problems, and it's not safe to let him outside. I thought about sending him to the police station tomorrow to find his family members, but that kid would never go out, which made me so angry.

After calming down, he felt that it would be nice to have someone with him, but he didn't want to leave anyway.

After a few days, I regretted it again. One more person and one more meal will cost an extra portion of the money.

It's not worth it.

Coaxed him to the police station.

But I didn't expect that within a few days, the police station called again, saying that he was an orphan and had no home, and the previous orphanage was gone.It's pitiful to think of such a silly young man walking on the street with no one to rely on. Anyway, it's just an extra mouth to eat and a few extra bricks to repair.I brought him back, and when he saw me from afar, he rushed over to grab my hand, and called back with an aggrieved face.

I was sitting in the rented room smoking a cigarette, and he ran over and slapped the cigarette in my hand, crying, "Don't smoke! You will die." I hurriedly got up to extinguish the cigarette, looked up at him, and didn't know he was there. what to shout.Does smoking kill a person?So how many times do I have to die?

What a sick mind.

From that day on, when I lighted a cigarette, he ran over and yelled, making me very irritable.

Simply quit smoking.

Very good, save money on cigarettes.

After he came to my house, he never stayed in bed, usually when I got up, he got up, and stayed at home obediently waiting for me to come back.

At the beginning, he always had to cook and wait for me to come back.But his cooking is too wasteful, so I won't let him do it.

Who made saving my habit.

It was really tiring during that time, and I had to cook for others when I came back from the construction site.But later he learned to control the amount of cooking, and his life became much better.

After all, I don’t need to wash my clothes anymore. When I get home, someone is cooking delicious food and waiting for me. There are also people who massage my shoulders and wash my feet. It’s like marrying a wife.

One day, the workers came to my house for dinner, and one of the workers made fun of me, saying that I raised a wife.Before I could say anything, a few other workers started to fuss, "Oh, don't disgust us."

"How is it possible for two men, you must have drunk too much."

"Just don't embarrass us."

I don't know why, listening to what they said, I feel very uncomfortable, and I can't drink much wine.After the workers left, I ran to the corner to smoke a cigarette, calm down.

As a result, I took out my bag and found that I had quit smoking a long time ago, and there was nothing in the bag.

Really annoying.

He ran over and handed me a mint and said, "When you want to smoke, just... just eat it..."

I raised my hand and opened it fiercely, "What the fuck, can this stuff be the same as cigarettes?"

As if he was stimulated by something, he cried frantically: "I will die! I will die!"

I'm starting to get very tired of his behavior.He has a problem with his mind. I always gave way before, thinking that I don't need to argue so much with a person with a problem in his mind.

Why do you die if you smoke a cigarette?Curse me.

After smoking a cigarette and calming down, I looked at him, trembling in the corner.I looked at the cigarette in my hand and then at him, threw the cigarette away depressedly, stepped forward and patted him on the shoulder.

He dodged subconsciously, and I frowned, "Get up!"

This guy didn't know what was going on, and tears flowed out all at once.To be honest, I have seen many people cry, but I have never seen such a young man crying with snot and tears.

Really embarrassing.

I grabbed him and let him sit on the stool.I have never comforted anyone, and I really don't know what to do.Stop crying when he gets tired of crying.

This silly boy can really cry.

He cried until I almost fell asleep before he calmed down.I woke up and asked him why he thought smoking would kill people, and he faltered a lot.I concluded that the director of the orphanage he was in used to die because of smoking, and once the director died, the orphanage would close down and he would be homeless.

The co-author felt that I was smoking to death, and he had no home again.

This silly boy isn't that stupid, he used his cleverness on me.

I patiently told him that smoking once in a while wouldn't kill people, but he insisted on that truth, and insisted on playing against me, saying that smoking would kill people.

After a long time, I also lost my temper. My parents didn't care about my smoking and drinking, but this silly boy did.But then for some reason, I started to quit smoking and drinking.

Anyway, I refused to admit that I quit smoking and drinking because of that silly boy. I told myself that it was for the sake of my own health, and I would earn a few hundred dollars more if I lived a few more days.If you can't get along with anything, you can't get along with money.

Usually when I go to work on the construction site, he will wash my clothes and cook for me at home. Anyway, he does all the housework.Not to mention that this idiot is quite agile in doing housework, usually the rental house is messy like a kennel, but once cleaned up, this idiot looks quite handsome.

It's kind of like home.

I am very satisfied.

Occasionally, I would bring back something that their young people like to eat, such as milk tea. Anyway, I don’t know much about it, so I don’t know what it tastes like, and it’s quite expensive.

But that silly boy is happy to drink.

Prices in this city are already high, and a cup of milk tea costs more than ten yuan. If I were to be the only one, I would really be reluctant to buy it.

As time went by, the relationship between me and that silly boy became better and better. When I finished the work on the construction site, I went out with him to visit the vegetable market and supermarket, and taught him to pay for vegetables.

That silly boy learned it for half a year. Of course, I was not idle during the six months. I taught him while I was working, and sometimes I taught him while eating.This silly boy is not good at learning these things, but the paintings are beautiful.

One day I came back from work, tired