How to break into a Chinese book

Before me, I was not called Shen Zhu.

When I was three years old, I already hated my name.

Li Yuan.

What good name can a dad who dropped out of high school expect to blow up girls' bellies to come up with?

Let me assume that he wants me to "abandon the jade and cherish the ambition" like Li Shimin, but in fact, he probably doesn't know this poem by Li Shimin at all.

Yes, I was the kind of kid who wasn't expected.

My mother was only 15 years old when she gave birth to me, and she was still just in high school, because of puppy love, she tasted the forbidden fruit and eloped with her underage father.

They think that there is a more beautiful tower outside the ivory tower, but the reality is telling them what does not study bring.

Fleeing from my parents to work in a small town in the far south, the two of us squeezed into a dormitory of less than [-] square meters, including me, the "burden".

A few days after I was born, they regarded me as a burden.

My childhood has been spent in endless quarrels between my parents. When they quarreled, I went to read under the street lamp in the corridor.

My mother used to occasionally read fairy tales to me impatiently. I have a good memory, and it didn't take me long to master and recognize Chinese characters.When they thought I was still obsessed with children's literature, in fact, I was already rolling in the pile of books picked up by the scrap collector next door.

He read "Zi Zhi Tong Jian" at the age of four, and "A Brief History of Time" at the age of five.

My parents' ignorance always tells me how important culture is.

Finally, one day when I was five years old, my mother said to me in a rare way that she would take me to the largest library in the city to read.

Looking at her nervous look, I knew that they were going to abandon me.

Just go with her.

I didn't care that much. I spent a whole day reading in the library without sleeping and eating. I read a lot of biological works, and I was most interested in Morgan's "Genes".

Just as I was going to learn more about the relationship between DNA, chromosomes, and RNA, the library was about to close.

A female administrator in her early 20s wanted to send me home, but I could only tell her: My parents abandoned me on purpose.

She wanted to send me to the police station again, and I rationally analyzed the situation I would encounter next: the police would look for my parents, and if they found them, they would probably abandon me again, and maybe I would be trafficked next time Human organ traffickers are not so lucky.

If the police can't find my parents, they will send me to an orphanage. It is very difficult for a child of my age to be adopted, and he may spend his whole life in an orphanage.

She really hesitated.

She is a pure and kind girl who decided to take me in temporarily.

Later it became forever temporarily, she told me that I will never be abandoned again, she is my relative, let me call her aunt.

My aunt's surname is Shen, and she gave me a new name: Shen Yi.

[Don't love this body, and don't hate this body.No love and no boredom, he is a carefree person. 】

I think she really hopes that I will forget the troubles of my life, because the next few years will be the warmest time for me.

I don't like this troublesome emotion between people, but I like her.

But the good times come to an end.

My aunt got married, and the man's family didn't want me to be a burden to their new family.

That’s right, it’s cumbersome again.

Seeing her fighting for my reasons and crying every night until she couldn't sleep, I was still shaken.

I was already able to take care of myself, so I asked her to send me to boarding school.

I became more indifferent, only knowledge can fill my emotional emptiness, only knowledge can be the salvation of my tragic life.

What I didn't expect was that in my barren life, another person who was willing to give me a little warmth broke into me.

His name is Lu Gaoyuan.

His mother passed away, his father quickly remarried, and gave birth to another son. The family of three was harmonious and beautiful, and Lu Gaoyuan was thrown to boarding school like this.

He is different from me.

He was still a stubborn kid at heart, trying to win his father's attention and a little love by rebellious ways.

But fool, love this kind of thing, if you don't have it, you won't have it, no matter how hard you fight, you can't get it back.

I know this very well, so I never expected to get it.

There are many things in life that are far more important than love.

For example knowledge.

So every time Lu Gaoyuan tried to win his father's attention by playing truant and playing games, I would advise him: Embrace knowledge, only knowledge can change destiny.

But he still doesn't seem to understand this.

The fuse was that Dad Lu was invited to school by the teacher, and Lu Gaoyuan had a big fight with him in the corridor.

After that he disappeared and spent three days and three nights in the Internet cafe.

When he was found by the school and came back, he was in a trance.

I understand that games are an outlet for him to vent, but why can't he face up to his own life?

Obviously there is still a long way to go, obviously wasting my time, and obviously that father who exists in name only will not care about him because of this little rebellion...

What I didn't expect was that he had a way to despise himself even more.

When I saw the man lying in a pool of blood, I felt angry for the first time.

That father just collected the body hastily for him, and specially bribed the media, giving Lu Gaoyuan's death the illusion that he was addicted to online games and became obsessed, so he committed suicide by jumping off a building.

The Lu family is not short of money. Lu Gaoyuan's father is the owner of a publishing house, and he has many best-selling books under his banner.

It's just that I don't understand, how can such a person who confuses right and wrong become a disseminator of culture?

It turns out that this kind of person, like my poor and hateful parents, has never respected knowledge.

In their view, writing is just a tool for making money and twisting right and wrong.

I've grown to resent people who don't respect cultural knowledge.

Father Lu, the maker of the game "Devil Tribe", and even Lu Gaoyuan himself who doesn't like to learn, I began to paranoidly convince myself that it is because they don't understand the sacred meaning of knowledge at all, so they do so many things that harm others and benefit themselves. things.

It is precisely because they don't know how to arm their hearts with knowledge that the tragedy of Lu Gaoyuan's death was caused.

I have warned Guo Lu Gaoyuan countless times that rational knowledge is far more useful than those meaningless emotions, and he laughed at me at the time: Are you really willing to be a person who will never have emotions?

I really am.

I expanded the anger and sadness that Lu Gaoyuan's death brought me to the most macro perspective. He died not because of emotion, but because of ignorance.

I'm also sad not because of my friendship with him, but because of his ignorance.

All the joys and sorrows in this world are the fault of ignorance.

There are clearly answers in books that can relieve all their sorrows, why don't they know how to learn?

I can't ask others, I can only redeem myself.

So I study harder, I have learned many fields of knowledge: biology, physics, chemistry, philosophy...

When I learn enough, I find that I can rely on them to see a whole new world.

A world where everyone is learned and sane, a world free from tragedy and error.

I began to yearn for that idealized country, and I was also trying to use my own ability to awaken more people who were unwilling to accept knowledge.

However, at this critical moment, something went wrong with my body.

Probably due to excessive use of the brain, I was diagnosed with brain cancer when I was in the third year of high school, and something grew in my head.

The doctor insisted that I inform my family, but I didn't want my aunt to know.

I don't want to burden her any more.

Cancer is an incurable disease. The doctor's treatment suggestion is to remove the cancerous part as soon as possible, but there is a half chance that I will spend the rest of my life in a vegetative state.

Of course I can't accept such an answer.

I wasted a whole day complaining about everyone.

Why did cancer appear in my body, and why even though I tried my best to make my life less sad, there were still countless resistances.

I can control my emotions through reading, change my way of thinking through reading, and have a healthy body through reading.

A crazy plan came to my mind.

When I was interested in the stock market two years ago, I made a small investment and had a lot of money in my hand.

I originally planned to leave the money to my aunt after I died, but now the money has a new destination.

In the abandoned factory near the school, I built my own laboratory, and it was here that I started working on that crazy project.

Everyone wants to live healthy and healthy, and so do I.

After more than a month of repeated experiments, I finally got the first cloned mouse.

So I extracted the cells and tissues of my own body, and started to raise a child, and cultivated a clone that was exactly like me. He will become my organ bank, and replace my healthy brain with a healthy brain when it grows up at the right time.

At that time, the cancerous tumor in the brain had already strongly oppressed my nerves.

I often had headaches, and my thinking became more and more paranoid. I looked at the duplicate version of me that looked exactly like me soaked in a petri dish, and suddenly felt a trance.

His existence obviously brought me hope of life, but... I don't seem to be happy.

I hate being so involuntarily dominated by illness.

If he were me, would he make the same choice as me?

Will he be... happy like a normal person?

The brain is the most sophisticated organ in the human body, and it is not so easy to transplant it.

Besides, with my ability, I still have no way to operate on myself.

There is only one way, let me enter his body and let him live instead of me.

The human brain is like a smart hard drive with a very high storage capacity. I have long found a way to copy and transfer the thinking information of the human brain in the field of bioinformatics. As long as I copy my brain memory to the clone, I can New ways to replicate survive.

And my festering body will also be abandoned.

This experiment has been going on for more than half a year, and it has taken up almost all of my time. I didn't even attend school classes on time.

When I tidied up the transmission line and was about to transfer the brain data to the clone, my aunt called.

I never let her worry about her studies, and I never let her worry about her life, but this time her tone was full of worry: "Xiaoyi, you... the teacher told me that you've been skipping classes recently... to spend time studying What extracurricular knowledge?"

"My aunt knows that you are a good boy, and you will never do bad things. Next week is your birthday, can you come home? My uncle, your brother, and I all want to celebrate your birthday..."

I looked at myself reflected in the glass mirror not far away.

The skin is dry and yellow, the hair is thin and dull, and the whole person looks skinny, shriveled and terminally ill. So I want it.

Today is actually not my birthday, but the day I met my aunt.

She said that she wanted me to forget the unhappiness of the past, and treat the day we met as a new life.

Speaking of it, I also forgot which day my real birthday is, but I can always remember this day.

Facing the abandonment of my parents stubbornly and coldly, I pretended to be brave and rational. I refused to go to the orphanage at the police station, and even wanted to wander alone.

But on the saddest day, I met the most gentle person in my life.

She is probably my only emotional bond to this rational world armed with knowledge.

I don't want to refuse my aunt's invitation, because I can imagine her worrying tears on the other end of the phone.

It was impossible for me to meet her in this morbid state.

I can only let the clone replace me with my memory.

But one second before the transmission, I hesitated.

Do you really want to give him all my memories?

From a biological point of view, he is me, and I am him, but from a philosophical and ethical point of view, during the period of time before I die, I will just watch another me live with my face and memory.

It's like... not me.

He went to celebrate his birthday with his aunt, and he enjoyed my life, but I could only sink into decay in this cold laboratory.

The longing for warmth before death prompted me to see my aunt for the last time.

So I made a bold decision.

Let me survive in his brain, and monitor him to complete my life in the form of a second personality.

I subconsciously deleted those sad fragments in my memory, being abandoned by my parents, Lu Gaoyuan's death, and all crazy thoughts...

The new "Shen Yi" is a pure, optimistic person without any blemishes.

And I put half of my consciousness in his brain and watched him make a completely different choice from mine.

He went to see his aunt with an optimistic and happy new look, and the family had a happy birthday party together.

Everyone's faces were filled with happy smiles, and the one who was most gratified was of course my aunt: "Xiao Yi, it seems that you had a very happy time at school. Happiness is the most important thing. As long as you are happy every day, I will I am satisfied..."

This Shen Yi, who is completely different from me, makes everyone very happy, but I am experiencing the contradiction of being separated.

On the one hand, I want to see him happy, but on the other hand, I am jealous of him.

My broken body was still controlled by the other half of my consciousness, so I made the happiest and most reckless decision.

I want to take revenge on this world, those who can make me as simple and happy as Shen Yi, but let me experience endless pain and darkness.

I even gave this revenge a convincing reason: they are all people who do not respect knowledge and culture.

I picked nine people:

The game developer who developed "Devil Tribe", his game indirectly caused Lu Gaoyuan's death;

A female Ph.D. in sociology calling for burden reduction, she mercilessly publicized the tragedy as a sociological case after Lu Gaoyuan's death;

The owner of a brokerage company who entertained to death, it was the idol drama he starred in when my parents were students that aroused the seedlings of their puppy love;

The university principal who reformed the grade points of students and suggested adding grades for quality items, who was the head teacher of my parents' high school 20 years ago, did not give correct guidance to the puppy love between the two;

The owner of a publishing house who only wants to sell well, he is Lu Gaoyuan's father, no matter right or wrong;

The firefighter who saved lives but not books, the destroyed library was the place where my aunt and I met for the first time;

Su Chengwang, who created the select social platform, is on this social software that the dead Lu Gaoyuan has become a talking point among everyone.

There were two more at the end.

One is a divorced woman in her 30s who works as a cleaner, and the other is a man who works at a construction site. These two... are my irresponsible parents.

With my weak body, I couldn't take revenge on them personally, so I used cloning to create another eight me, endowed them with special memories and instructions, and let them complete tasks for me.

Among these nine people, I let the clone destroy his financial resources if I value money, destroy his reputation if I value official career, and let the clone cheat my feelings before destroying myself if I value emotions...

As for my pathetic parents, they are ignorant, vulgar, and I don't even bother to use means to retaliate against them, and directly created two accidents to end their hopeless life.

There is only one person left.

Jiang Yan.

He really is a man with no weaknesses.

Smart, strong, rational, I think if I hadn't met him in this extreme situation, maybe I could have become friends with him.

There is only the last link left in my plan, I just need to put him and "Shen Yi" together, and I can draw a perfect ending to my life.

I will punish these ignorant humans from the perspective of God, and I will let those who already have healthy bodies but do not like to study experience the horror of death.

From then on, I am no longer Shen Yi, I am Shen Zhu.

All live and die because of me.

My broken body can't support the final plan, so I can only hand it over to the other half of me, the one hidden in Shen Yi's mind.

Shen Yi didn't know my existence at all, let alone what kind of world I created in this sophisticated brain.

I turn all the books I have read into dangerous infinite worlds. Biological brainwaves and consciousness hints can allow me to hold the thinking of nearly a million people and use a specific instruction as a trigger: or flip a certain book. This book, or listening to a certain piece of music, or seeing a leaf with special texture...

They thought they had entered an infinite world from which they could never escape, when in fact it was just a dream I created for them.

Millions of people dream with me, and I am the dreamer.

And this dream is not a beautiful dream, they will live and die in this tens of thousands of infinite worlds.

Don't you like reading?

Let students who don't study hard, adults who are ignorant and only recognize money, teachers who think they have a little knowledge and are proud of themselves, etc., let all these people who don't know how to respect knowledge come together in the infinite world constructed by books. If you make a mistake, you will be punished with near death.

They won't really die, but a non-stop cycle of near-death dreams is enough to teach them a good lesson.

I arranged for Jiang Yan and Shen Yi to meet.

They are upright, brave and rational, and optimistic and positive. I know that even if I don't arrange it, they will attract each other.

But Jiang Yan is the one I want to take revenge on, and Shen Yi is the one I'm jealous of. Seeing every contact and relationship between them that I have never experienced before, I feel so contradictory that I go crazy.

I can't let Shen Yi die, but I don't want them to have a happy ending.

Of course I know what I call it: an antisocial personality.

While I want to create a perfect world, I can't see it happening.

I stubbornly think that I am the salvation of these ignorant people, but who can redeem a paranoid me?

Only Shen Yi is left.

I had expected this ending.

We share the same brain. To be precise, I am "parasitic" in his brain. One day he will find me and all the secrets I hide.

Isn't it true-goodness-beautiful? Don't everyone think I'm a sinner?

If he knew that the way to end everything was to die by himself, what would Shen Yi do?

Will Our Lady commit suicide?

But until the last step, I still hesitated.

I saw Shen Yi and Jiang Yan's mutual reluctance, and I also saw the determination in Shen Yi's eyes.

As a fool, he might really be able to do such a thing that makes people laugh.

I watched him grow up, fall in love, and live so brightly instead of me, I couldn't bear him to die.

Maybe I'm still a soft-hearted person in my bones.

He has become what I envy, and there is a voice in my heart telling me quietly: Give up, let him live instead of you, this is the most correct thing you have done in your life.

He is like a mirror, reflecting such a beautiful and kind me.

He deserves to live and be my salvation.

So I killed myself and took away all the memories about the infinite world, leaving only a simple Shen Yi.

"Look, I still did it."

In the end, I looked at the whole world greedily, looking at the Shen Yi who looked exactly like me but was different in front of me.

I did it, I managed to overcome my paranoid and lonely heart, and I managed to leave the last trace of goodwill to be fulfilled.

If there is a next life, I hope that I will no longer use books as my shield indifferently, I hope that I will not be abandoned by my parents again, I hope to have a happy family, have three or five close friends, have endless books, have Sincere, fraternal heart.