After being divorced by the top streamer, I became his white moonlight

In the deep silence of the night, Lin Yaoran's sniffing sound was particularly loud.He followed He Qiudu step by step. After a few steps, He Qiudu stopped and turned back to wait for him to follow.

This kind of picture looks like Lin Yaoran was bullied and cried but did not dare to resist.Occasionally, villagers passing by gave them sideways glances, and some enthusiastic uncles and aunts even asked Lin Yaoran if he needed help, and warned He Qiudu not to act recklessly.

Lin Yaoran blew her nose and said, "He didn't bully me..."

"Son, don't be afraid." An old woman said, "If you need anything, just tell us, and we will help you."

"That's right, our village will never allow bullying to happen under our noses."

"Your aunt is here, so don't be afraid of him." An aunt looked around at He Qiudu with very displeased eyes, and then warned Lin Yaoran earnestly, "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage. Looks, you must be good."

"That's right, look at you, are you angry with him for no reason now?" Another aunt came up and turned Lin Yaoran's shoulder to look left and right, "He didn't do anything to you, did he? You didn't suffer from him, did you?" ?”

With tears in her eyes, Lin Yaoran said, "No, it's all my fault..."

His face was flushed from crying, his voice was thin and soft, and he was hiccupping non-stop. He looked soft, obedient and pitiful.In contrast, He Qiudu, who was standing next to him, looked one size taller and one size bigger, looking fierce and frightening.

Soon, more and more villagers came to watch, but He Qiudu didn't argue a word.Lin Yaoran secretly looked at him while wiping his tears, wondering whether he was too lazy to talk nonsense, or simply enjoyed this kind of family dispute mediation scene.

"Oh, forget it, forget it." An uncle came out to smooth things over, "Let's not meddle in the young people's affairs. There is no problem that can't be solved by sleeping when the young couple fight at the end of the bed."

As soon as the words fell, he was immediately attacked by the villagers.

"Did you not go to the family legal education class organized by the village head?"

"Don't always treat the couple's problem as a petty fight, okay?"

"It's reasonable! How dare you bully someone to cry like this in broad daylight, maybe it's too much behind your back!"

The aunt in front who was worried about Lin Yaoran's "disadvantage" grabbed Lin Yaoran's arm, "Let's go, go back to my aunt's house first, we don't want this kind of bad man."

Who said no more? !Lin Yaoran refused to leave, and eagerly grabbed He Qiudu's hand, but the auntie was so strong that he dragged it away before reaching He Qiudu's fingertips.

When the crowd was in a mess, Min Chun seemed like a savior descending from the sky, and after a few good words, he finally resolved the villagers' misunderstanding about the relationship between the two.After everyone dispersed, Min Chun held Lin Yaoran back and said, "Mr. AZURE, I came here specially to find you."

Lin Yaoran was curious, "What's wrong?"

Min Chun said: "The village head came back from a meeting in the county seat today, and said he has something to look for you, I hope you will come over."

Lin Yaoran said "Yes", the village chief Longming had always taken good care of him before, and he really missed this old man.After hesitating for a while, he looked at He Qiudu, "Do you want to go with me?"

He Qiudu showed a strange expression that hesitated to speak, it seemed that he not only didn't want to go, but he didn't want to go by himself.

At this time, Minchun was puzzled and said, "Why is he going? The village chief said he will let you go alone. He has something very important to give to you."

Lin Yaoran nodded, thinking what important things could he leave behind here?Moreover, even if it was important at the time, after all these years, it must not be important anymore.Besides, the village head is so busy, what reason does he have to give things to him in the middle of the night?

Along the way, he kept thinking about this question, but the direction Min Chun led the way made him even more confused.This road is not the one leading to the village chief's house, but a house with a closed door not far from the ancestral hall.

This room is the one that He Qiudu lived in back then.After returning to the Tartary Buckwheat Village, he sneaked to take a look, and it looked like it had been closed for many years and had been abandoned for a long time.

He didn't know why the village chief asked him to meet in such a place.

"Here we are." Min Chun said, "Go in quickly, the village chief will be waiting for you inside."

When Lin Yaoran pushed away and entered, several different images appeared in his mind——

Inside, weeds are overgrown, the ground is barren, and cobwebs are thickly formed on the roof beams; or, everything is brand new and tidy, nothing has changed, just like the scene of the past.

But the facts were completely beyond his imagination.

The room was clean and tidy, but too cramped to fit in.Because, it is like a small warehouse, properly storing all the "garbage" that he ruthlessly discarded.

It's just that garbage wasn't garbage in the beginning, and garbage also made him happy in the beginning, and it was a precious and beautiful thing.

He had read page after page of the novels and comics displayed on the shelves.

The old desk that is no longer beautiful, on which he once wrote the lyrics and melody.

The handle of the game console is placed upright on the TV cabinet. When two people play, they are far happier than alone.

The angle of the record player beside the bed didn't even change. In a daze, he seemed to hear his mother's sweet singing again.

And... He walked to the table and stared fixedly at the blue and white Liberty Gunpla.He knew that this one must not be the one that He Qiudu put together at his home, that one was not finished at all, and he angrily threw away the half-assembled body and parts.

At that time, he didn't know anything, and couldn't see anything clearly.But it is clear that many details are enough to string together clear evidence.Because he refused to admit his sincerity, he couldn't see He Qiudu's sincerity.

"You came."

A gentle voice came from behind him, and he turned his head. Village Chief Longming was standing there with his back bent and leaning on a cane.After so many years, the village head has more wrinkles on his face, and his gray hair has also turned white. Only his smile has not changed, and he is still so kind and kind.

"Grandpa Village Chief, long time no see. How are you? I..." Lin Yaoran suddenly choked up, unable to utter a word.

Since he left Tartary Buckwheat Village, he never came back, and naturally he never saw this kind old man who treated him kindly again.

The village head looked at him with a smile, and after a while, he said slowly, "It's already grown so big."

Lin Yaoran nodded, and shed a big tear.

"Back then you took almost nothing away and left everything behind. I don't know whether to keep them all or dispose of them all." The village head looked around with a little emotion, "Fortunately, the child came back early enough, If he comes ten days and a half months later, I'm afraid these things really won't be able to stay."

"You mean He Qiudu, right?"

"Yes." The village chief sighed slightly, "I always thought that he was a more mature child, much more serious than his peers, and rarely showed emotions on his face. But, only that time , when he rushed back here and found that you had left, he was really sad and cried."

So... Could He Qiudu cry too?Lin Yaoran thought foolishly.He Qiudu is not like himself, he has been a useless crying bag since he was a child, but He Qiudu is like a big monster, steel and iron, invulnerable, how can he cry?

"Then, he refused to leave, saying that he would wait here for your return. Because you didn't even take your most precious piano with you, he firmly believed that you must only leave for a while."

Lin Yaoran asked tremblingly, "Did he blame me for leaving without saying goodbye?"

"How could he blame you?" The village head couldn't help being surprised. "He has been here so many times in the past ten years. He knows that the hope of finding you is getting slimmer, but he still refuses to give up. I believe that as long as you To see you again, he is willing to pay any price. I have lived a long life, and I have never seen anyone as persistent as him."

After a pause, the village chief said again: "I'm most thankful that I persisted in not telling him the news that your family told me that you have passed away. Otherwise, I would be afraid of him..." Speaking of which, the village chief Chang couldn't help but tremble all over, and didn't dare to speak any more.

"It's not a good thing to let him give up early." Every time Lin Yaoran uttered a word, his throat felt as if it was burned dry. "Having a little bit of hope, only to be disappointed again and again, it's just a never-ending torture."

The ridiculous thing is that I have imagined more than once how proud and reckless He Qiudu's life has been so far.He is the focus of the stars and the moon, he is always high above, he is the most constant luminous body, and cannot tolerate a little bit of ordinary haze.I just defined him and sketched him without authorization, but the fact is that his life is heavier than anyone else. He has become a radiant god in the eyes of outsiders, but because of himself, he has become the most devout and stupid ascetic believer .

"It's not like that." The village chief said vicissitudes of life. "I think that child has always been happy. He didn't find you, but he seems to be with you all the time."

Lin Yaoran whimpered and said softly, "I don't understand."

"Perhaps you can understand after reading these." The village chief moved a small plastic box in front of him, "Open it and have a look."

Lin Yaoran opened the lid of the box, and what was neatly stored inside were all unopened letters.He looked at the village head in disbelief, and the village head said slowly: "He wrote you all these letters, but you couldn't receive them, and the postman kept forwarding them to me."

Lin Yaoran raised his hand, his thin and pale fingers brushed over the letters.Some of them have turned yellow and become brittle, and some are still as white as new. He can't count how many there are, and he doesn't know which one to read from.He was an unqualified recipient. When he left, there was no trace and no news, and he left a person who only had him in his eyes and heart cruelly where he was.

He took out an envelope lightly and preciously, it was light water blue, and the letter paper inside was also gentle blue, dotted with raindrops and small flowers.

"Shake, it's been almost a year since we parted ways. It's June now, and the city I live in will soon enter the long rainy season. The sky seems to be getting very low, and there will be sultry drizzle inadvertently. If you come here, you will definitely complain about the weather.

However, I think I still have a way to cheer you up.We can eat iced bayberry while blowing the air-conditioning, and watch the dusk shrouded in drizzle outside the window.The bayberries in this season are the most delicious, five points sour and five points sweet, but it is a pity that the market is too fast.So, if you like to eat, be sure to hurry up and eat more. "

You idiot, why are you writing such insignificant stuff.Lin Yaoran quickly raised her head, holding back the tears that He Qiudu was crying stupidly.Moreover, five points of sourness and five points of sweetness are not enough. If there are all sweet red bayberries, you can eat a few more with difficulty.

He opened another letter, and the letter paper of this letter was smudged with the light color of red plums in the snow, with fine gold flakes floating in it, which could shine brightly even indoors.

"Yao Yao, today is New Year's Eve, I wonder if you are with your family at this moment?

You once told me that after coming to Tartary Buckwheat Village, you can only spend the New Year by yourself.Listening to the lively sound of setting off firecrackers outside, I feel that I am the only one left in the world.At that time, I really wanted to tell you that from now on, I will accompany you every new year.However, I broke my promise to you, and I couldn't even say 'Happy New Year' to you.

Tomorrow is the first day of the Lunar New Year, and our whole family will go to the temple to pray for blessings.I used to dismiss this kind of thing, but now I decide to be a pious pilgrim, and I only hope that the gods and Buddhas have spirits and can protect you to be healthy and happy, and to be happy forever. "

You're so stupid, how can you write a New Year's letter like this?Lin Yaoran dug her nails deeply into her palm.Such New Year's blessings are not effective at all, the gods have not heard his voice at all, and he is still unhealthy, unhappy, and unhappy, and he will not be able to see himself again after all.

Lin Yaoran watched each letter, and gradually understood the words of the village chief.Although they were separated, he seemed to be with him all the time.The fluffy spring in Asakusa, the verdant and hot summer, the frost-stained autumn in the forest, and the rare snowy winter in Kawagen City, almost all the scenery in this world reminds him of himself, all the time, every moment .

He Qiudu is so kind, He Qiudu is so stupid.It is precisely because He Qiudu is so good that he is so stupid.

"Yao Yao, today is my first day in high school. When I stood on the stage to speak on behalf of the freshmen, I looked at the crowd of people below, and wondered if you were there? Every possibility makes me excited.

After entering high school, mathematics will become more and more difficult, but mathematics is a very important subject.So, even if you don't like it, you must study hard.You are so smart, as long as you want to, you can learn it well.

The second year of high school will start to divide subjects, I guess you should choose liberal arts, after all, everything about literature and art is so suitable for you.Floating, unpredictable, full of mystery and uncertainty, probably your existence itself is like a melody or a poem, even if I close my eyes and don’t look at you, I can still feel your existence, and I can’t stop thinking about you in my heart your vision.

It would be great if I can go to the same university as you when the time comes.Everyone says that the four years of college are the best time in life, I think, since it is so good, I should spend it with you.No, it should be said that no matter when and where, only spending with you is a complete and happy life. "

Lin Yaoran put down the letter paper, looked at the back, his shoulders fluctuated up and down, he didn't know if he was laughing or crying.If he laughed, his face was clearly covered with tears; if he cried, he had a smile that was uglier than crying.

He Qiudu is really stupid to death, he should be glad that he didn't go to the same high school as him.Because, if I saw him pretending to speak on stage, I would definitely laugh at him severely.

Moreover, I have never had a good time in mathematics, so I will definitely pester him to ask him to help me explain the problem.But he may not be able to understand what he talks about, and in the end, he may steal his homework and copy it.

Also, when I was in physical education class, I was usually the one sitting by and watching.So, if he doesn't play basketball well, I will definitely use my mobile phone to take pictures of all his embarrassing appearances.If there are a few amazing photos mixed in by mistake, it must be because of my slippery hands.

"Shake, now I am writing this letter to you at the university graduation ceremony. I rejected the suggestion of my mentor to study directly, and I have no intention of taking a job in the company at home. None of these can bring me closer to you, so they are important to you. I mean nothing.

After thinking about it, I decided to enter the showbiz.Maybe you think this is not a wise choice, but do you remember that you told me that when you grow up, you hope to write a lot of beautiful songs, just like the ones your mother used to sing.

The Yaoyao I know is the most talented girl in the world. I believe you will be able to realize your dream and become a great creator.And I will definitely be able to find the melody you wrote from thousands of songs.If you are lucky, you can also sing the works you wrote.

You won't be able to read this letter anyway, so it doesn't matter if you write it down.In fact, I secretly picked up all the music scores you wrote and discarded, and I believe they will definitely help me find you.Even if we are temporarily separated, music will connect us tightly. "

It turned out that the song "Low Temperature Burn" was not completed until two hours before the deadline.Lin Yaoran couldn't help laughing, and blew out a rather indecent snot bubble.It's a good thing that the price was set higher at the beginning. Anyway, no matter how unscrupulous it is, this big fool will obediently accept it.

"Yao Yao, recently I met a person who looks a lot like you. I know that he can't be you, but I can always believe that he is you for no reason.

He writes songs like you, he looks like you when he laughs, he looks like you when he is angry, he looks like you when he eats creme brulee, and he also looks like you when he likes to be brave and cry.How could there be two people so similar in the world?You are the difference between a drop of water and a grain of ice, do human souls also have allotropes?

Countless times, I wanted to ask him directly who he was, but I lost my courage when the words came to my lips.He is not you and I will be disappointed.But I would rather be disappointed than hope that he is you.

How could there be such an unhappy child like him in the world, who would frown even when he fell asleep.There seemed to be no one around him who loved him, not even himself.

When a hand is cut, the first reaction is to wipe the blood-stained table; I don’t like my appearance, so I have to wear a hat tightly at home; I’m afraid of loneliness, I hate loneliness, but living in a home is not like home In his heart, he was still a child eager to act like a baby to his mother, but he acted like a brother who doted on his younger sister.

I have imagined countless times what you will look like when you grow up, but I never expected to become like him.More transparent than glass, more brittle than ceramic, more slender than primrose.To me, you are the embodiment of all the good things in the world.But every time I see him, it makes me gnash my teeth with pain.

I can't wait to take out all of my own and hold it in front of him, stuff it to him, throw it to him, even if he doesn't want it, I still have to give it to him.

Because, I want to see him really smile happily, just once.Or don't ask for a smile, just ask him to like himself a little bit, just a little bit. "

A little bit...impossibly a little bit.No one in the world likes Lin Yaoran. Lin Yaoran is a trouble, a burden, and an obstacle to happiness. This is the truth I have always believed in.So, among all the people who didn't like Lin Yaoran, I became the one who hated Lin Yaoran the most.

However, He Qiudu hoped that the person who hated Lin Yaoran the most would fall in love with Lin Yaoran, wouldn't this create a huge problem for himself?

For more than ten years, he has written so many letters, but he has never confided his heartfelt feelings such as "I hope you can like me", "It would be great if you could respond to my feelings". In the end, he only hopes that he can I like myself——

Lin Yaoran rubbed her eyes desperately, rubbing from the outer corners of her eyes to the bridge of her nose, trying to wipe away her tears, but the more she rubbed, the more she cried.

Why, how could He Qiudu be so stupid?How precious a person's feelings are, because they are precious, they have selfishness, and with selfishness, they desire to extract the same precious things from the other party.Otherwise, the relationship will wither sooner or later. Is he the one who is inexhaustible?

Is that all he wants?

Lin Yaoran buried her face deeply in her palm, tears soaked the letter paper, and the letter paper became hot and warm.Or maybe, these letter papers are hot and warm, they are like a flame that never goes out, roasting the ice in my heart, and then let me shed hot tears.

"Can you take yourself seriously?" The words he asked himself angrily when he and He Qiudu reunited echoed in his ears.At that time, I thought that he was just venting his dissatisfaction, but I didn't know that he had seen through his own nature early on.

Since then, I have been hurting him, not with sarcasm, not with stubborn resistance, nor with suspicion to escape, he doesn't care about these.What really makes him sad is watching someone he deeply likes continue to deny himself, hurt himself, and loathe himself.

How cruel and how unfair.

Anyone in the world can hurt He Qiudu, but Lin Yaoran can't.

After a long silence, Lin Yaoran reached into the box and took out the last letter inside.The content of this letter is very short and simple——

"I found Lin Yaoran, I hope he will never know."

The thin finger bones slowly curled up, and then loosened up a little bit.

He who hates himself cannot love anyone.However, Lin Yaoran now feels that in order to fall in love with someone, he can try to accept himself, including the sincerity that is constantly being suppressed.

Hate is probably not worth love after all.Because loathing and hatred require effort, but love does not.

Putting down the letter paper, Lin Yaoran stood up, bowed to the village head, and then walked quickly towards the door.As he walked, he started to run, running so fast that even the vast night was far behind him.

He wants to meet someone, now, immediately, immediately, at flying speed to meet him!

Ten seconds later.

"No, it can't be done..." Lin Yaoran leaned on the wall and bent down, panting like emphysema.

Forget it, let's walk back slowly.It was still very dark at night in Tartary Buckwheat Village, and the street lights were not bright enough, so he turned on the flashlight of his mobile phone and carefully walked forward according to the land in front of him.

As a result, he didn't take a few steps before he saw a pair of long legs, and further up, he Qiudu's eyebrows and eyes became darker and more gloomy under the white light.

"Ahem." Lin Yaoran cleared his throat, "What are you doing here?"

He Qiudu said, "Waiting for you."

"What are you waiting for?"

"I'm afraid you won't be able to see the road clearly in the dark."

Lin Yaoran looked at him, "Then, have you waited?"

"Ah."

Lin Yaoran was dissatisfied, "Come here, I can't even hear you clearly."

He Qiudu took a step forward.

"Come again."

He Qiudu took another step forward.

"Still not close enough."

He Qiudu had no choice but to say, "No matter how close it is, I'll stick it."

How stupid.Lin Yaoran stood on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him angrily.

A short, hard kiss.

The shortness is because there is something impatient to say, and the force is because the feeling of liking is about to overflow.

He leaned close to that person's ear and whispered word by word: "I'm in love with He Qiudu, I hope he knows it now."