recession

Kissing was quickly replaced by biting.

When Tao Liyang pressed Xu Yunqing on the bed, he could already taste the bloody smell from the other party's mouth.They raised their hands to take off each other's remaining clothes, acting eagerly, like drug addicts who have been thirsty for a long time.

Tao Liyang's cool fingers slid from his neck to his collarbone.Xu Yunqing suddenly thought of something and struggled lightly.Tao Liyang added some strength and pressed his shoulders to prevent him from moving.With the other hand, he touched down the thin chain that he had touched, and soon caught a small ring hanging around his neck.

Tao Liyang naturally realized what it was, and was startled, Xu Yunqing earned even more for a moment.Until an identical metal ring fell out from Tao Liyang's neckline.

The two rings collided lightly, making a small sound, and there was a faint light shining in the darkness.

In an instant, Xu Yunqing seemed to have been relieved of his strength suddenly, and turned his head to one side, refusing to look at him again.

Tao Liyang couldn't tell what he felt for a moment, his heart felt as if he had been scratched, and it hurt and itched.Touching his flexible waistline with one hand, he lowered his head and kissed Xu Yunqing's Adam's apple, carefully imprinting hickey marks along his smooth neck until he kissed the ring on his heart

Xu Yunqing obediently let him touch her, her breathing was unsteady, her waist softened, and she frowned slightly because of the pain.

Tao Liyang noticed that he took a light breath, and when he kissed him, his hands became lighter and lighter.Suddenly Xu Yunqing asked him in a hoarse voice: "I'm leaving, have you found someone else?"

His voice was very low. At first Tao Liyang thought he had misheard, and felt a little sour in his heart, but he said, "Didn't you see everything?"

Xu Yunqing hummed: "Yes, I have seen it all." The voice was muffled.

Tao Liyang didn't stop moving, biting his earlobe lightly: "Do you care?"

"I don't care." Xu Yunqing said.

Tao Liyang smiled lightly, and at the same moment, withdrew his fingers... Xu Yunqing was somewhat unaccustomed to being separated for such a long time, so he gritted his teeth lightly, and tried to relax himself, accepting and pampering him.

"No." After being completely accepted, Tao Liyang lowered his head and kissed Xu Yunqing's eyes and eyebrows, his voice was gentle, "There is no one else but you."

After sleeping until midnight, Xu Yun woke up.

Moonlight fell through the cracks in the curtains, giving the carpet a fuzzy silver border.Xu Yunqing turned his lower body sideways, and the arms around his waist naturally tightened.Tao Liyang's lips pressed against his neck, and his voice was vague: "Where are you going?"

Xu Yunqing didn't answer, Tao Liyang was half asleep and half awake, and spun his fingers around the small piece of skin on his waist: "What's wrong? Can't sleep?"

Xu Yunqing refused to speak at first, but Tao Liyang tentatively asked him in a low voice, "Does it hurt?"

"It doesn't hurt." Xu Yunqing came back to his senses, pushed his heart with his backhand, and sat up, his voice always tinged with embarrassment.

"Okay, okay." Tao Liyang was pushed like this, and all sleepiness faded away.Pulling Xu Yunqing's wrist and pulling him into the quilt, he reached over and pressed the corner of the quilt, "Don't make trouble, you are not afraid of catching a cold."

With Xu Yunqing held tightly by him, she felt at ease.Sticking so close, you can feel the temperature of each other's body, even the heartbeat.The coldness of spring has not completely faded away, and they cuddled quietly, revealing a little warmth.

Tao Liyang slowly stroked Xu Yunqing's back with his fingers: "Have you recovered from the cold? You have lost so much weight. You can even touch the bones."

"Then don't touch it." Xu Yunqing whispered.

Tao Liyang smiled instead, and circled him in his arms again.With his chin resting on his shoulder, he saw a faint hickey on the side of his neck, his heart was very itchy, and the tip of his tongue slowly traced it.Xu Yunqing snorted softly, trembling slightly because of the itching, Tao Liyang gently bit the flesh of his shoulder with his teeth: "You don't have anything to say to me?"

"What?" Xu Yunqing muffledly responded.

Tao Liyang turned his shoulders when he heard the words: "You are not allowed to act stupid with me."

Xu Yunqing lowered his eyes, remained silent for a long time, and said in a low voice: "I'm sleepy, very tired. Can you let me sleep first?"

Tao Liyang frowned, but Xu Yunqing gently pinched his fingertips wrapped around her body.There was nothing Tao Liyang could do to deliberately show weakness like this.I had to give in: "Then sleep first, it's dawn, let's talk."

Xu Yunqing hummed vaguely, and Tao Liyang only took it as his consent, and he could only take it as his consent.But there was still some fire in my heart, so I leaned forward and kissed him forcefully.Feeling Xu Yunqing's response, he was willing to let go after tasting the sweetness on the tip of his tongue.

Helplessly stroking Xu Yunqing's sweat-soaked hair: "Go to sleep."

Said to go to sleep, for a while, but no one fell asleep.Everyone has their own thoughts, but they don't speak.It took another hour or so before Tao Liyang fell asleep again.Xu Yunqing blindly fell asleep, and when he heard his breathing gradually calm down, he opened his eyes involuntarily, staring at the ceiling in a daze.

Tao Liyang said he wanted to talk.What are we talking about?

All kinds of past events are like entangled threads, spreading out from the world, and every millimeter is wrong.If he wanted to figure it out clearly, he would always return to the thread—the nightmare that he wanted to forget but could never forget.He couldn't face it at all.

Xu Yunqing felt cold when he thought about it, although in his memory, it was clearly summer.He unconsciously leaned against Tao Liyang, and then moved away for a moment.

He sighed silently, and on impulse, he went to bed in a daze, and now there is no way to end it.But if he went back to a few hours ago, he might not be able to turn a blind eye and not knock on this door.

The sheep touched the vassal, postscript before and after.

I don't know when it started, losing Tao Liyang has become another nightmare of his.

Xu Yunqing was exhausted.Turning his head, his fingers traced the outline of Tao Liyang's eyebrows and eyes in the air.

Simply sleep with him until dawn.Xu Yunqing didn't want to think about anything anymore, at least tonight, one second is one second.To snuggle up with a lover, you should have a good dream and seek a moment of peace of mind.

But he closed his eyelids and couldn't fall asleep for a long time, his chest felt uncomfortable and half of his head hurt.Xu Yunqing knew that this was because he did not take An Ding.

He didn't want to take medicine here, but he really wanted to sleep with Tao Liyang in his arms.After hesitating for a moment, he carefully removed Tao Liyang's hand from his waist, and tiptoed out of bed.

Xu Yunqing grabbed a nightgown and put it on, stepped on the carpet with bare feet, and took advantage of the moonlight to find An Ding from the coat that was thrown on the ground.After dry chewing two pills, I was still bored. After thinking about it, I poured a few more pills on the palm of my hand.Before he could swallow it, he heard Tao Liyang's voice behind him: "What are you doing?"

He turned away hastily, and the pills rolled from the uncovered bottle to the floor.Tao Liyang suddenly turned on the bedside lamp, strode up to him, and snatched the medicine bottle from Xu Yunqing's hand: "Diazepam? What are you doing with this?"

Xu Yunqing's heart heaved twice, and he said after a while, "Insomnia."

"Insomnia? How much did you take just now?" Tao Liyang stared at Xu Yunqing with burning eyes, and remembered that the last time he met him in the hospital, he was also taking medicine. Now that he thought about it, he didn't have a cold at all.

He frowned and glanced at the medicine bottle in his hand. After being in the circle for so many years, Tao Liyang knew and saw with his own eyes some people who didn't take drugs, but mixed them with various calming and analgesic drugs and took them in large doses.There are many people who have problems with eating and die.

He had seen Xu Yunqing get out of bed just now, and it seemed that it was not the first time that he had taken so much medicine in one go.

Tao Liyang barely suppressed his emotions: "How long have you been eating this? How much do you eat at a time? Yun Qing, do you know that if you eat too much of this stuff, you will become addicted and have trouble."

Xu Yunqing pursed her lips and did not speak.Tao Liyang gave him a minute of patience. Seeing that he had no intention of opening his mouth, he was angry and impatient. Remembering that he had seen people who overdosed before, he couldn't control his tone: "Which doctor allowed you to do this?" What to eat? Does Shenxi know? You are not insomnia, you are taking drugs!"

Seeing him, Xu Yunqing was at a loss and embarrassed. Now that Tao Liyang was questioning him so harshly, he was really guilty and embarrassed, so he snatched back the medicine bottle in a hurry: "So what if I'm just taking drugs? Who needs to know? You don't have to worry about me." !"

He was so harsh, the medicine bottle almost shattered in his hand.If you just say something, you can't take it back.

Tao Liyang felt that the oxygen in the whole room disappeared in an instant. He looked at Xu Yunqing. On his fair neck, there was still the hickey mark he left a few hours ago, and there was nowhere to hide under the light.The residual warmth of the bed was still there, and the person who had been rubbing hands with each other not long ago told him now that he didn't need to worry about it.

"Don't care about me, of course I don't care about it." After a long time, Tao Liyang's voice sank, with a sense of despair, "Xu Yunqing, how can I care about you? I'm just a person who comes and goes when you call it. I was delusional, We can have a talk, after a chat. Now it seems that you don't have to wait until dawn, how many dawns I wait, you won't want to talk to me..."

He was lifeless, looking down at the pills that fell on the floor: "I don't want to admit it, but you know it too. I'm actually very happy that you came to have a fight with me tonight. I think I'm in your heart, maybe So there is a little place... only now I understand, it's all my dream. You don't care about me at all, you just don't see me with other people... I'm like a worthless toy when you were a child. You never wanted it, but someone else picked it up You are not happy. You must snatch it back and throw it away with your own hands... No, no." Tao Liyang paused for a moment, then shook his head, "You don't even need to fight, you don't need to grab, I will never succeed in front of you You have lost the bottom line and have no backbone. You look at me, and I am in a mess. You can decide what is up to you, and you can give you your life...but you are not caring about it...you don't care about me at all. Don't love me even more."

With these words again, Xu Yunqing's mind froze, he didn't love him.The last time we broke up, I said the same thing, and it was like a curse.

"I don't love you?" Xu Yunqing let go of his hand, the medicine bottle fell down, and his whole body shook.His lips moved several times, but he couldn't complete a sentence. He leaned against the wall behind him and laughed out loud for a long time: "Yes... I said it earlier. I don't love you. How could I love you? you?"

After he laughed, he had nothing to say.

Bending down to pick up the clothes scattered everywhere in the entanglement, Tao Liyang worked too hard tonight, and his back was still aching.The buttons of the shirts of the two of them got entangled somehow, it was obviously very easy, and they couldn't untie it with life or death.Xu Yunqing paused for a moment, then pulled away expressionlessly.Make a piercing cracking sound.

Xu Yunqing propped himself off the carpet and stood up, his hands were shaking all the time, but he still put on his clothes in an orderly manner.When passing by Tao Liyang, he stopped for a moment, but didn't look at him.The corners of the lips were hooked and the tone was light: "Tao Liyang, you are right. I don't love you. I hated you since the first time I saw you in the small theater."

The author says:

Hold on tight, don't panic.