Brother Christine

There is a man named Shen Qing.

That's what his dad told him at the time.

His father said that Shen Qing was one year younger than him, a very handsome boy, and when he came to the house, Jiang Xiao would be his elder brother.

His father said that Shen Qing had heard of him, he won the top prize in the provincial and regional youth and children's composition competition, and he could also give speeches in fluent English. This younger brother is looking forward to seeing him. Be a good student.

Jiang Xiao knew what his father meant. His mother had left for less than two years, and his father was about to find him a stepmother.

The stepmother also carried a oil bottle, which was not his own.

He looked at the two people who broke into his house resentfully. He didn't welcome them, and he didn't expect to see any younger brother.

The dove took over the magpie's nest, and his mother couldn't come back.

His missing, his anticipation, the blankness and emptiness in his eyes when he stared at the blackboard, the sadness and fear that suddenly surged in his heart when he was walking on the road, those long nights when he buried his head under the quilt and cried silently. The body, the tears streaming down the face after waking up from the nightmare, all at the moment Shen Qing and his mother entered the door, completely reduced to useless sinking stones in the sand of memory.

He doesn't want to be an elder brother, he wants to be his parents' son, the kind of son who owns his own father, his own mother, and his own son.

But as long as he can remember, his mother and father have been arguing every day.

Oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, house and car, meager wages, soaring prices, years of low-level jobs, useless men who can't do anything, idealistic women who can't live...he all He got used to it, he thought that every family was like this, as long as he tried his best to do everything well, studied hard, became the first, competed, won prizes, and won glory for them, they would have less reason to quarrel, Live well.

This is his selfishness, he has their common blood on his body, so no matter how awkward their family is, they will be bound together forever.

But his mother still left, taking everything that could be taken away from the family, and the only time she came back to see him was with a bag of grapes and a divorce agreement.

His parents let him into the house, and the two were talking in the living room.

That was the first time he saw the two of them sitting together and chatting so calmly, his mother was holding the tea water his father handed her, she smiled freely and freely, his father was holding his mother's tea The thin cigarette bought for him curled up in the green mist, and he smiled very honestly.

He thought they were reconciled, and he peeped through the crack in the bedroom door, his beating heart ecstatic.

When his mother left with the signed document, he excitedly rushed out to hug her, he wanted her to send him to school tomorrow.

Tears welled up in his mother's eyes suddenly, she hugged him and kissed him, choked up and speechless.

He asked what was wrong with his mother, and her mother hugged him tightly and told him she was sorry, she had to go out in a hurry, and she would send him to school when she came back.

His mother's crying made him very scared, and he wanted to cry too, but he was not a person who loved to cry. He used to put on a sensible smile and wiped away his mother's tears.

It's okay, he said to himself, there's nothing to be sorry about.

You can’t send it tomorrow, but you can also send it the day after tomorrow, not the day after tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after tomorrow...

But for many tomorrows, the day after tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, he would hide under the quilt and cry late at night.

deceive who?

He has won the grand prize in the composition competition for teenagers and children.

deceive who?

He is a kid who can speak fluent English.

deceive who?

He's the first in grade, what doesn't he know?

His mother has gone to pursue her dream, and his father has always hidden in his heart a woman he liked when he was young. The two people who got together because of marriage eventually separated because of marriage.

He wanted to say something, he knew he was very smart, maybe if he said something, he could save some.

But no one would listen to what a seven-year-old child had to say, so later on, he didn't intend to demand the respect of adults anymore.

Whatever he resents, he resents to his heart's content, and whatever he hates, he hates to his heart's content.

Now that no one cares about his feelings, he doesn't have to learn to be understanding and kind.

Shen Qing asked him why.

Why?

For nothing.

He knew that Shen Qing was also miserable. Shen Qing's family used to be in the countryside, not as rich as his family in the town. Shen Qing's father was a miner who dug coal all the year round. Shen Qing grew up to be eight years old, and he didn't even see his father. A few times later, news came of his father being suffocated buried beneath a coal mine with a group of miners.I heard that Shen Qing's mother took him to collect the corpses, but Shen Qing didn't even recognize which one was his father.

Shen Qing's mother slapped him desperately at that time, the ignorant child was fanned into the stinky ditch full of cinders, the red slap marks on his face were shocking.

Shen Qing got up from the ground without saying a word, the dirty and smelly muddy water flowed from head to toe, he was indifferent, just watched his mother knelt in front of a raised white cloth and cried loudly, then walked over silently, knelt on the next to her without shedding a single tear.

No matter how much that person yearned for him, and how much he yearned for Pinglong Town, Jiang Xiao felt that the white and skinny boy who had just entered the house was a ruthless person.

Such a person accepted his father's red envelope, put on his old clothes, took up the vacant room next door to him, and entered the city's hukou, entered a school in the city, was lazy and idle all day long, and was still in the middle school. You can't get away with the top two hundred, and you have been stubborn for ten years with "brother", but you sincerely have trouble with him, and he still wants to ask Shen Qing, why do you have it?

Why are you always so close to him?Didn't know he bothered him?

Why do you keep following him behind like a pervert?Really think he is a fool?

Why is he, a man with a handle, still writing love letters to him like those girls?

Why?

Since he is a heartless person who doesn't care about anything, why do you have to fight him?

He didn't understand.

Shen Qing wouldn't take the initiative to talk to him at home, and he naturally wouldn't take the initiative to ask him. After seeing Shen Qing's carefree and meaningless look, he just wanted to beat him up.

So he went to see him to sleep at night.

He didn't know why he wanted to look at him so much, it was probably because Shen Qing had been following him for a long time, his peripheral vision could only catch the brim of his drooping hat, but he still couldn't see his face.

He only goes home once a month, Shen Qing's door will not be locked, he will go into his bedroom, stand in front of his bed, and look at him carefully.

The moonlight slanted into the room through the window, and hit the sleeping man's face. The soft silver halo floated on the bridge of his nose, whirling hazyly, like a layer of thin clouds, flickering and swaying, making him unable to bear to get closer, to go Gently smell the smell under the layer of clouds.

There was a delicate fragrance of bamboo leaves on Shen Qing's body. It was obviously the ordinary shower gel that he used, but when he rubbed it on his body, it gave off a different fragrance.

He loves to smell that kind of fragrance, and without knowing it, he became addicted.

He began to be irritable about the long dormitory life at school, he couldn't attend classes, couldn't finish the questions, every week when his aunt came to visit him, he resisted the urge to go home with her, resisted the desire to see Shen Qing Feeling the urge, he ran to the rooftop of the sports building closed by the school, and drank bottles with his neck raised.

The wind on the roof messed up his hair, he opened his arms to embrace the sunset under the thin red light, the hem of his clothes was blown up by the wind, rubbing against his hot and burning skin, suppressing his surging and uncontrollable heart, alcohol It is also stimulating his brain, he needs to become excited, he needs to breathe fresh air to replace the smell in his memory.

But these are far from enough!

Not enough to wash away the drug addiction like ten thousand ants devouring the marrow!

He still misses him.

He thought of the fragrance emanating from his delicate skin, his long and curled black eyelashes when he was sleeping soundly, he thought of the sound of his light and even breathing, and even more of his soft and rosy lips.

He wanted to use his teeth to bite through the tender skin of his lips, pick apart the line of his tightly clenched lips, and suck the blood from the tip of his tongue.

Shen Qing was so odious even after she fell asleep, he put a Gu on him.

For a while he thought he was crazy.

So he continued to go to the rooftop, to get a wind and catch a cold, to drink and get drunk, his scarlet eyes staring at the sun in the sky, he longed to wake up the self who hated the lightness!He hates himself for caring more and more about him!It's even more disgusting that in the middle of the night, the identity of the fantasy object is a man!

And that man is still his brother in name!

A father, a mother, and a family member, he despises, brother!

But the crazy yearning made him almost unable to be himself. Once he got home, he couldn't help but go to Shen Qing's room to see him, look at him, and get close to him.

He approached Shen Qing's side of the bed, step by step.

He leaned down to sniff his scent, lower and lower.

Shen Qing is not a pervert, he is.

He's in love with someone he hates, he's in love with his brother.

The closer he got, the more addicted he became, gradually becoming crazy and becoming less and less like himself.

He reached into his quilt, hooked his fingers lightly, and lowered his head to kiss his forehead.

In the quiet night that no one knows, he heard his heart beating wildly, but he cherished every moment of touching the sleeping person on the bed morbidly, and then ruthlessly mocked his forbidden love that violated human nature. .

Everyone is a contradictory body, just like good and evil are intertwined, love and hate are also entangled.

Before going to university, he accepted Shen Qing's mother, from the initial ignorance, then to "eh", then to "you", and then to "auntie", this time he called her mom.

The woman was moved to tears.

He also began to be less indifferent to Shen Qing, calling home, and occasionally bringing the topic to Shen Qing, and then his parents would pass the phone to Shen Qing, happy to see the relationship between the two brothers healed day by day It's done.

Everyone thought that he was taking care of the heavy emotions who were in the third year of high school, including a certain party.

What are you thinking?

What does Shen Qing look like all day long, does he need to take care of her?

He just misses that person very much, very much.

Want to wet the bed every day.

Then there was an unexpected drunkenness, and he attracted the people who thought about it day and night.

The moment he fell off the bed, his mind was blank, and he didn't know what was going on.

A gray joke that fate played on him?

Or is it a malicious match made by God?

He didn't recover until the pain spread all over his body.

Then there was the mortal, heart-breaking, ecstasy of ecstasy.

It was difficult for him to describe the complex mood at that time in a few words. He is a selfish and emotional person. There are certain things and certain degrees. He cannot be completely controlled without being affected by his own emotions.

When Shen Qing doesn't speak, he can't help but take the initiative to strike up a conversation; when Shen Qing speaks to anger him, he can't help getting angry and wants to drive him away, thinking of breaking up with him as soon as possible; Shen Qing buys him milk tea Coaxing him, his heart was full of sweetness, and he couldn't help imagining that this person had become his so-and-so; Shen Qing brazenly began to follow him again, cursing idiots in his heart, while secretly delighting for no reason.

Jiang Xiao felt that he was a hypocritical slut, he was reluctant to let go, and he was afraid of holding on, he wanted to stop at the boundaries of brothers, but he always went one step further when he was greedy for each other's beauty, when the enemy retreats, it is cool when he advances, and when the enemy advances, he retreats Anger, has Sun Tzu taught the Art of War how to fight in love?

For the first time, he was inexperienced, anxious and frightened.

The chess game has been opened, he has to go, but he is afraid of making a mistake.

But fighting in the field of love, it seems that you can't look at Sun Tzu's art of war, but look at the 36 tactics of love?

But no matter what kind of secret book, he can't figure it out.