don't get close

"Hello, Dean? I'm Tang Lun, can I go back and live for two days?"

"Of course, silly boy, this is your home, come back if you want."

"Thank you, I'll be there in a minute."

Putting down the phone, my heart seems to have settled down again, because I have found a harbor where I can shelter from the wind, because at this moment, I am no longer without belonging, and I am no longer wandering around.

Leaving the public phone booth, standing on the side of the road and calling a car, "Master, go to the home of heaven."

I turned my head and looked at the dark night outside the car window. Under the colorful neon lights, it was a very charming city. In such a dark night, I was alone...

Paradise House, an orphanage, I lived there after I was 15 years old, not too long, three years.

The name Tang Lun was given to me by the dean. The purpose at that time was to let me forget the past and start a new life. Perhaps the person who knows me best in the world, except for Zhiyan, is the dean.

In the Paradise Orphanage, I made a friend who I think is very important, but we didn't know each other for a long time, it seems that his biological parents found him, and I haven't seen him since then.

Looking back on the days in the orphanage, I am still very happy. If I hadn’t spent three years there, maybe no one knows who I am now, and I might walk on my father’s old road!

"Dean? Why are you standing alone at the door so late?"

When I got out of the car and saw the dean standing alone under the street lamp, his slender figure looked like a mother looking forward to the child's return home, a warm current flowed through my whole body, and I couldn't describe my mood in words.

"You haven't been back for a long time. The neighborhood is preparing for demolition recently. I'm afraid you won't find your way home, so I'll just stand here and wait for you." The dean said kindly, "Stop standing at this door, this place Don't catch a cold at night, go in quickly!"

"kindness."

Seeing the dean's gray sideburns, I realized that the dean is also in his 50s.

"You haven't been here for almost a year, how are you doing recently? How are you and your little girlfriend?" the dean asked with concern.

I lowered my head and didn't know how to answer. It wasn't that I didn't know how to answer He Zhiyan, but that I hadn't been back for a year. This was the first time in so many years.

The dean smiled and said, "Look at me, I'm so old that I'm worried about you young people. In fact, as long as you children are doing well, I'm relieved."

"Dean, I'm sorry it took me so long to come back to see you." I said with some guilt.

"Silly boy, you young people have their own careers, and it's normal to be busy. It's good to come back when you have time." I knew the dean was comforting me.

I followed the dean and walked into the orphanage. What happened during this period made me unable to breathe. I didn't stop until I reached the gazebo in the courtyard.

"What if, if one day you found out that the person you've always trusted has been cheating on you, what would you do?"

When a problem arises, the answer is what we most want to get, but if the answer cannot be answered by ourselves, no matter who it is, we hope that others will give us their opinions, and even tell us the answer. This is how people...

"It depends on how much you have invested in this person. If his deception is a white lie, just to not hurt you, then this person deserves to be forgiven, but if his deception is more for himself, it is selfish. , then this kind of deception cannot be forgiven, because a lie is like a snowball, and it needs a bigger lie to wrap and maintain." The dean probably didn't think that I would stop suddenly, froze for a moment, sat in the gazebo, After looking at me for a long time, he opened his mouth leisurely, and said to me face to face.

I was silent.

The dean said patiently, "No matter what the original intention of the deception is, when you feel that this person is more important than anything else, maybe whether you should be forgiven or what to do is not important anymore."

Thinking back on the details of getting along with Zhiyan over the years, I believe that she lied to me for the purpose of protecting me, and I believe that the reason she lied to me was just to live an ordinary life with me.

But whenever I think about Zhiyan, Kang Mingyu's appearance will keep spinning in my mind. I don't even know when his appearance was imprinted in my mind. If it is ignored, his image will become clearer, and I have to face it.

"Dean, can you accept homosexuality? I mean, if, if such a person appears around you one day, how will you face it?"

In fact, I was very afraid of hearing the answer. I didn’t even know why I would ask this question. I regretted it when I said it. Unfortunately, it was too late. I deliberately avoided the dean’s gaze, because I was afraid, I was afraid of her Look at me with the same eyes, after all, anyone who hears this question will know what it means.

"Love is gender-neutral. Some people may think it is against ethics and principles. In fact, the basis and process of same-sex love are the same as heterosexual love, but the corresponding group of people has changed. Love should not People who are discriminated against and dare to speak out their love are brave, because this kind of love is not recognized by the outside world, but this does not mean that it is impossible. If such a couple really appears by my side one day, they really love each other, I will bless."

The dean's words are very serious, without perfunctory, I know she really thinks so.But just because the dean can accept it doesn't mean everyone can accept it.

People, what they can't pass is always their own level.

"Okay kid, go back and rest! Let the worries disappear with the coming of day." The dean patted me on the shoulder.

I nodded and went back to the long-lost room. Since I left here when I was 18, I rarely come back. There are very few children like me who are too big to be adopted in Paradise Orphanage, because the director will do his best I want to find a happy family for every child. Of course, I am the only exception in this group, so the dean gave me more care.

Even this room, she has always kept it for me, because she is afraid that I will have nowhere to go home if I want to go home in the future. Maybe this is my real home!

A small room of fifteen square meters, with a bed, a table, a wardrobe, and a chair, looks very crowded, but it gives me a sense of security and belonging when I need it most.

The same cleanliness and the same furnishings, there is no difference from when I first came here many years ago, but I am no longer the same person I was then, and the mood at this moment is no longer the same as that of the past.

People will always grow up, always face the past, escape will never solve the problem, because I am still alive.